Wicked Witches of the Midwest Mystery Box Set

by Amanda M. Lee

“Right.” I hurried inside, making sure to shut the door tightly before following the woman toward the kitchen. She was already at the counter pouring tea when I caught up to her. “I wasn’t sure if you would be willing to talk to me.”

  “Why wouldn’t I? You provide an important service. Newspapers are necessary for a healthy society. People don’t realize that. They won’t until most of the newspapers are gone. I want to help if I can. And, as far as I can tell, you’re not a devil worshipper. That gives you a leg up on that cousin of yours.”

  “Thistle isn’t so bad.”

  “She’s not good either. But you’re not here to talk about her.” Esther carried two mugs of tea to the table and sat across from me. “You want to know about the doctor.”

  I bobbed my head in confirmation. “I do. What can you tell me about him?”

  “He was a sick man.”

  “Like ... dying?”

  “Like perverted.”

  “Huh.” I sipped my tea, which was unsweetened and strong, as I debated the statement. “How was he a pervert?” I asked finally.

  “He was talking to people about sex.”

  Of course. I should’ve seen that coming. “I believe he was talking to them about relationship issues,” I clarified. “I’m sure that sex came up because that’s a natural and healthy part of relationships, but I don’t believe he was talking about sex simply to talk about sex.”

  Esther’s expression was withering. “Sex is for procreation, not recreation.”

  “Good point.” The conversation was making me uncomfortable. There was very little chance Esther was going to come around to my way of thinking, and I knew for a fact I would never cross over to her narrow view of the world. I had to turn the conversation in another direction. “What can you tell me about the man, though? I mean ... I understand he had clients visiting. He also produced his radio show in the basement. He must have had frequent visitors.”

  “He had visitors all hours of the night,” Esther confirmed. “It started in the morning. He had people show up at his door — mostly couples — and they would disappear inside for an hour. Most of the time, when they came back out, they were shouting and screaming at one another. It seems to me that he wasn’t a very good doctor.”

  That was interesting. “So, you’re saying that Dr. Hopper made things worse?”

  “He wasn’t making things better. In fact, I think more of his couples broke up than stayed together.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “I have eyes and ears.”

  “What else makes you say that?”

  “Most of the couples who visited came only a few times and never returned. That says to me that he was failing.”

  “Or succeeding,” I pointed out. I wasn’t looking for a fight but it seemed unfair not to mention the other possible conclusion. “Maybe he managed to help these couples so they didn’t need to return.”

  “I doubt very much that’s the case.”

  “Fair enough. Do you know who he was seeing recently? My understanding is that he only took on a handful of clients at a time so he could do intensive workshops with them over multiple sessions. That means the turnover must’ve been pretty high.”

  “I don’t know who he was seeing. It’s not my business to spy on my neighbors and gossip.”

  “Of course not.”

  “I did see Brad and Helen Dickens here two weeks ago,” she volunteered. “They came out of the house sniping at one another. Helen was angry because Brad preferred ice fishing to spending time with her, and Brad thinks Helen has a shopping addiction and that’s why she buys all of those crazy-looking dolls.”

  I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at Esther’s version of not gossiping. “That doesn’t exactly sound like the stuff of murder.”

  “No,” Esther agreed. “If you’re looking for someone who might’ve had murder on the mind, I suggest you consider Maxine and Jonathan Wheeler. They’ve been seeing the doc for about four weeks, and every single time they visited they left hating each other more than when they arrived.

  “I mean, last week, for example,” she continued, warming to her story. “They were relatively quiet when they entered. I was watching through the window because I thought I heard a rapist in my garden, not because I’m a busybody or anything. I want you to know that.”

  “I would never think you’re a busybody,” I lied. “You’re just looking out for the neighborhood.”

  “Exactly,” she nodded. “Anyway, they were quiet going in and absolutely screaming at each other on their way out. Jonathan yelled that he hoped she died a painful death ... and then he threatened the doctor that if he ever saw him again he would rip his nuts off and feed them to him.”

  Alarm bells dinged in the back of my mind. “He threatened to kill Dr. Hopper?”

  “I don’t know that ripping a guy’s nuts off would kill him, but it would hurt something fierce.”

  My mind was busy. “Did Jonathan and Maxine ever return for more counseling?”

  “I don’t spy.”

  “I know. While you were watching the neighborhood for evildoers, though, did you see them come back?”

  “Maxine did.”

  “When?”

  “She’s been back multiple times. I haven’t seen Jonathan again.”

  That didn’t necessarily mean anything, I reminded myself, but it was a place to start. “Thanks for your time, Esther. I’ll be in touch if I need more information.”

  THE WHEELERS LIVED in a colonial on the east side of town. The homes there were nice, well taken care of, with beautiful landscaping when it was warm enough to bloom. Given the bare trees, there was something stark about the neighborhood now.

  I parked in the driveway and knocked on the door. I wasn’t sure exactly how I intended to approach the couple, who I only knew sparingly from festivals and meetings, but all thoughts of a soft approach fled when Maxine opened the door and I heard Jonathan screaming from another room.

  “Stop telling me what to do!”

  Maxine’s expression was bright when she focused on me. “Hello, Bay. What a nice surprise.”

  She seemed normal. That should’ve calmed my nerves. Instead, Jonathan’s bellowing from inside the house only set my teeth on edge.

  “I hope you die, Maxine! I hope it hurts, too. I hope you fall off a bridge, get eaten by crocodiles, thrown up and then set on fire.”

  That was a level of vitriol I’d never witnessed. “If this is a bad time ... ,” I hedged.

  “It’s not a bad time.” Maxine’s voice was smooth as she held open the door. “I love visitors.”

  Jonathan appeared in the hallway, poking his head around the corner to see who dared darken his doorstep and interrupt his fit. When he saw it was me, he lost interest quickly. “She loves visitors of the male persuasion,” he countered. “She loves visitors when she can get on her back and open her ... .”

  I held up my hand to stop him. “This is obviously a bad time.”

  “It’s a bad marriage,” Maxine corrected, her hand going to my elbow as she tugged me toward the kitchen. “Ignore him. He’s packing to move out. Apparently he can’t do it with his mouth shut.”

  “He’s moving out?” I was interested despite myself. “Why?”

  “Because he’s a jerk.”

  “Because she’s a whore,” Jonathan corrected, proving he was listening to the conversation even though he was in a different room. “I’m leaving because she’s a whore and she broke our marriage vows.”

  This was a toxic situation. “I’m sorry to hear that.” I didn’t know what else to say. “That’s terrible.”

  “It’s not so bad,” Maxine countered, heading for the coffee pot on the counter. “It’s better to have loved and lost than ... however the rest of that saying goes.”

  “I’ve got a saying for you,” Jonathan said, appearing in the open doorway. “Once a whore, always a whore. My mother told me I shouldn’t have married you after she
caught us in the car that one night. I never told you that, but she was adamant that I would live to regret it. I guess she was right.”

  “Your mother is a narcoleptic dipsomaniac. Like I care what she says.”

  “My mother is a saint!”

  “Your mother gets drunk and talks to the house plants,” Maxine shot back. “She thinks they talk back to her.”

  “They could talk back to her.”

  “Ugh. I’m done talking to you.” She held up a hand to quiet her husband and focused on me. “Let’s talk about you, Bay. Are you here for a specific reason?”

  I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m here about Dr. Hopper.”

  Jonathan was back, whatever he was doing in the other room abandoned, his eyes keen as they locked with mine. “How dare you mention that man’s name in my house?”

  “It’s not your house for much longer,” Maxine snapped. “As for Mike, I’m always happy to talk about his therapy skills. Are you and that boyfriend of yours having trouble?”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m here to talk to you about his death.”

  “Whose death?”

  “Dr. Hopper’s death.”

  Maxine’s face crumbled as she absorbed my words, her hands clasping together. “What?”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said hurriedly, horrified. “I thought you knew. It happened yesterday. News spreads faster around this town than jam on toast. I simply assumed you knew about his death.”

  “Wait ... Dr. Lovelorn is dead?” Jonathan’s scowl flipped upside down. “You’re not messing with us, are you?”

  I shook my head. “No. He was stabbed in his house.”

  Suddenly serene, Jonathan grinned. “Did you hear that, Maxine? Your boyfriend is dead. All that whoring you did with him was for nothing. You ruined our marriage and now he’s gone. I would like to say I’m too good of a person to crow, but ... .” He made a strangled sound that I figured was supposed to mimic a rooster crowing.

  “Mike can’t be dead,” Maxine argued, her lower lip quivering. “It’s not possible. I ... he ... we ... he can’t be dead.”

  “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he’s definitely dead,” I offered. “I assumed you knew. I wish I hadn’t blurted it out the way I did. It’s just ... I was at the house and one of the neighbors said you guys had been seeing him. I thought maybe you might have some information about his enemies.”

  “I’m sure that guy had more enemies than a video game hero,” Jonathan said. “You should get his patient rolls and go through every name because I’m sure most of the male clients wanted him dead as much as I did.”

  “You probably shouldn’t say that so loudly,” I offered. “People might think you had something to do with it.”

  “I didn’t kill him. That doesn’t mean I’m not happy he’s dead.”

  A sob bubbled up in Maxine’s throat as she buried her face in her arms and began to cry.

  “I don’t think I’m following the story correctly,” I said. “Why do you hate Mike so much? I mean ... I get that your marriage has fallen apart. You and Maxine clearly have issues. Why do you blame Mike?”

  “Because he’s the root of it. We went to him because we were fighting about whether or not we should have kids. We’re divorcing because he had an affair with my wife.”

  Oxygen whooshed out of my lungs as I absorbed the statement. “W-what?”

  “You heard me. Maxine and Dr. Lovelorn had an affair. She wasn’t supposed to tell me about it — supposedly it was some sort of therapy technique — but I found out because I came home from a business trip early. Guess what I found.”

  I didn’t have to guess. I could imagine. “So Mike told Maxine that she should have sex with him to save your marriage?”

  Jonathan shook his head. “Yeah. Can you believe that? I confronted him in his office about a week ago and he didn’t deny it. He claims it’s a valid technique … the snake.”

  “I can’t believe that.”

  “Well, Maxine believed it. She did it. Now our marriage is over and he’s dead. I think the therapy worked perfectly. I’m free!”

  “Wow!” I spared a glance for Maxine and found her shaking with sobs. “I don’t suppose you can tell me the story from the beginning, can you? I need the full picture.”

  “What does it matter?’ Maxine sniffed. “He’s gone and the world is a poorer place for it.”

  “I’ll tell you,” Jonathan volunteered. “The guy was a jerk and I want everybody to know it. You’ll put it in the newspaper. I can’t think of a better revenge plan. Let me grab a beer. This might take a while.”

  Eight

  I stopped at the police station on my way back to town to inform Landon and Chief Terry about my discovery.

  “Are you saying that the good doctor was sleeping with his patients?” Chief Terry asked, disgust obvious.

  “I’m saying that he was sleeping with Maxine,” I corrected. “She didn’t deny it, and Jonathan is not a happy camper. In fact, you might want to go over there and help him finish moving his stuff. I don’t think he would hurt her, but that’s not a healthy situation.”

  “Did he threaten her?” Landon asked.

  I held my hands up. “Kind of.”

  “Did he threaten you?”

  “No. He gave me all the information I needed ... and some that I didn’t want because it was gross. I mean, he went into great detail about how he discovered the affair and let’s just say there were furry love cuffs involved and leave it at that.”

  Landon’s lips twitched. “That’s probably smart.”

  “There’s a lot of screaming, and Maxine is a mess. She didn’t know that Hopper was dead.”

  “Did they have plans to be together?” Chief Terry asked. “Were they going to be a couple?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Maxine was too far gone to ask questions, so I focused on Jonathan. He was more interested in dancing on Hopper’s grave than worrying about Maxine’s future plans.”

  “Maxine is in her thirties, right?” Chief Terry turned thoughtful. “Hopper was in his early forties. That’s not too much of an age difference. Still, according to what you’ve told us, it sounds like Hopper suggested the affair as a therapeutic tool. How does that even work?”

  “I think he wanted to use his tool for therapy,” I answered automatically, earning a stern look from Chief Terry.

  “That’s not funny, young lady. You know I don’t like when you make bawdy jokes.”

  “And I don’t like when you use the word ‘bawdy.’”

  “I happen to like it when Bay makes bawdy jokes, but we can talk about that later,” Landon interjected. “I want to talk more about this Jonathan guy. Do you think he killed Hopper?”

  “He seemed surprised by the news.”

  “That could’ve been an act.”

  I thought hard about the time I’d spent in the Wheeler house. “I guess he could’ve been acting,” I said finally. “My gut instinct is that he wasn’t. He was far too happy to hear about Hopper’s death. He didn’t hide his glee. If he killed Hopper and then wanted to act surprised when told about the murder, he would’ve feigned being upset. He was pretty far from upset.”

  “You can never tell how people will react in situations like this, but that’s a fair point,” Landon said. “I guess we’ll have to question him ourselves.”

  “That’s why I stopped by.”

  “Thanks for the tip.” He followed me out of the office and to the lobby, ignoring Chief Terry’s surly secretary and keeping a firm grip on my arm so I couldn’t bolt through the door before he was ready to release me. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” The question caught me off guard. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

  “Just checking.” He released my arm and moved his fingers to my hair so he could brush it behind my ear. “I’ve been thinking about you all morning. I went to the newspaper office to check on you, but the girl at the front desk said you were out. I thought about calling,
but that seemed like a needy chick move, so I decided to wait.

  “Then, an hour later, I talked myself into waiting a little longer,” he continued. “I’m glad you were brave enough to come to me.”

  “Why wouldn’t I? I figured that was important information you needed.”

  “Yes, but you’re clearly embarrassed about what Aunt Tillie said at breakfast this morning.”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. “I’m not jealous of Clove.”

  “I know. Still, if you want to talk about what Aunt Tillie said I don’t think it’s necessarily the worst idea in the world.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not jealous.”

  “Fair enough.” He held up his hands in capitulation. “I didn’t mean to upset you. There’s so much going on right now I can’t help but worry. You’re dealing with a lot. I want you to remember that I’m here to help you no matter what has your mind churning. You’re not alone.”

  I was ashamed to admit that my heart melted just a little bit. “I know I’m not alone. I’m dealing with everything to the best of my ability. Would it be easier for me if everyone else would stop living their lives and allow me to focus on this necromancer thing for a bit? Yes. That’s not the way the world works, though. I’ve got to suck it up and multitask.”

  Landon grinned. “That’s an interesting way to put it.”

  “Part of me is angry,” I admitted. “Things were going well. They were perfect. Then I started controlling ghosts out of nowhere. Who knew that would throw our lives into upheaval the way it has?”

  “Sweetie, I don’t feel as if my life has been upended. To me, it’s just another cool witchy thing you can do. You’re the one feeling the pressure, and I get that. I want to help. I simply don’t know what I can do to make things better.”

  “What you did last night was pretty good.”

  “Watch Netflix and cuddle with you? It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I’m willing to take one for the team.”

  I barked out a laugh. “I meant the exercise we did calling Mike.”

  “That kind of died when Clove showed up. We didn’t get a chance to experiment after that. You could always call Hopper and ask him about his affair with Maxine. We could practice again.”