If You Adore Me

by Ciara Knight

  “I spoke with Bradley.” Lori’s voice carried from the small kitchen off the office, but it wasn’t enough to draw his gaze from the beautiful spring day outside into the damp and dreary room.

  “Yeah.”

  “He said that he didn’t expect Stella to be so engaging and he wants to get to know her better.” Lori giggled. “He’s a smooth talker, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah, as smooth as a jagged rock landslide,” he mumbled, catching one last glimpse of Stella before she rounded the corner at the end of the street and disappeared out of view. “He’s talking about giving her a big-money job restoring an old car. That gives her a way out of my show.”

  “You really think that will change her mind?” Lori asked.

  “Yeah.” He moved from the window and plopped down at the desk. “Tell me again what Bradley said.”

  “He said he’s sticking around to observe this show and will make a final decision about your production with his network.”

  “Great,” he said. His voice trailed off along with his thoughts of a better future.

  Lori huffed. “Listen, he’s a car guy and thinks Stella is charismatic enough to win over an audience. If you can’t convince her to do the show, maybe Bradley can.”

  “I’ll convince Stella.” Knox picked up a pencil and rolled it between his fingers.

  Lori narrowed her gaze. “If you think you can.”

  “The woman is unpredictable, bossy, and a…a…vegetarian. But she’s still a woman, which is my specialty.”

  “I don’t think we have to tell your viewers she’s a vegetarian. You’re safe on that one.” Lori chuckled. “I guess I need to ask the real question here.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Did she sign the paperwork to do the show?” Lori asked. “And you trust her that whatever the mugshot was about is safe and won’t blow up in our faces later?”

  The pencil snapped between his fingers, and he dropped them onto the desk. “I can’t help her if she’s not honest with me. We have plausible deniability. If it comes out, she’s on her own and we wash our hands of her.”

  Lori’s face softened, and she lowered to the chair on the other side of the desk. “You wouldn’t.” She took the broken yellow wood pieces and tossed them into the trash. “You would never do that.” She held his hands and squeezed them. In all the years they’d worked together, she’d never done that. “It’s time to stop pushing everyone away to protect yourself.”

  He analyzed her gaze that erupted in pity and other equally uncomfortable emotions. “You know about Alima.” The words stung his throat, his lungs, his soul.

  “Yes.”

  He jerked his hands away and bolted from his chair, pacing and cursing under his breath. “How?”

  “I find out things, remember?” Lori winked as if she were talking about some tea party, not the loss of the woman he loved.

  “Drew?” He entwined his fingers behind his head and leaned back, trying to get air as if he’d finished a sprint.

  “He doesn’t know that I know of. It’s not my place to tell him. I would never share your secret.” She remained in her chair, giving him space. Smart lady.

  “How long?”

  “What?”

  He turned and dropped his arms to his side. “How long have you known?”

  “Since the downward turn on your reputation started tanking the ratings of your show.” Lori studied her fingers in her lap. “It’s my job to keep you on top. I dug into your past to find a way to spin things in your favor.”

  “But you didn’t use it?” He took in a cleansing, newfound-trust kind of breath. “Despite the ratings and the possible loss of all of our careers, you didn’t even ask to use it.”

  “No.” Lori shook her head and looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “Some things aren’t meant for the world to know. That kind of pain is private, but it doesn’t have to be carried alone.” She stood and took a step toward him, but he cringed away.

  The one time he couldn’t let any person close to him was when he was speaking of, thinking of, or remembering Alima.

  “I’m here if you ever want to talk. If not, you should talk to someone.”

  “It’s the past. No need to talk about it now. There’s no way to change it or fix it, so no reason to rehash it.”

  Lori looked to her watch. “I need to head over to the dress store. Mayor Horton asked me to join the girls. Apparently, she has been trying to make me part of the girls’ team in town for a while and I’ve resisted. Now, though, I think I want to entertain the idea of hanging around this town in the future. There’s something special about this place. I know it, Drew knows it, and even you know it. Even if you won’t admit it to yourself.”

  He waved her away, ready for the conversation to end.

  “You know, it’s okay to keep the past away unless it is destroying your future.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Lori headed to the door in a quick retreat. “You know you think you don’t deserve Stella, and maybe you don’t.”

  “Thanks. That makes me feel so much better. Glad we had this chat.” Knox returned to the front window, begrudgingly drawn to the goings-on of this little town.

  “Ask yourself one thing though. Have you ever been cruel to a woman? Yes, you’ve played games with women who wanted to play and knew the rules. You’d never drag someone unknowingly into drama.”

  Lori approached, and Knox pressed his palm to the windowsill to brace himself for what she was leading into with this conversation.

  “So?”

  “So, Stella is innocent. The strong, abrasive exterior of a girl like that… Some might think she can handle the manipulation, but perhaps she’s hiding as much pain as you are. What if whatever that mugshot is about will dredge up great pain for her? She isn’t aware of the risk she’s taking. I know you, Knox. You would never intentionally cause anyone pain to get what you want.”

  “You think too highly of me,” Knox grumbled.

  “Maybe, but Stella sees something in you that has gotten her attention. I’d say she’s a good judge of character. I hate to see your hesitation to let her closer cost you a fantastic opportunity.”

  “I can’t stop her working on his car for money instead of my show.”

  “You can. Just open your heart.” With those final words, Lori retreated. Her steps echoed from the stairs, telling Knox he’d finally be alone. He gripped the window’s molding and rested his head on the cool glass. He watched her cross the town square and head to Jackie’s store.

  Despite his desire to win this deal, he knew Stella was innocent in all of this. Perhaps if he told her the score. That if whatever didn’t happen becomes public, it could change her life forever. If he did that, he’d lose her from the show, and it would cost him the deal with Bradley. Could he risk so much for a woman who didn’t even trust him with her truth? Lori was wrong. Stella wasn’t blinded by any misguided feelings for him. She was tough and able to handle anything. And there was no need to muck things up with unwanted feelings for some girl in a small town. He’d been there, done that. It might have been thousands of miles away. The scenery was different, the customs different, the rules of engagement different, but the scenario was hauntingly similar.

  He was not at all eager to go back.

  Fifteen

  The girls chatted like they were old friends who had never been torn apart by lies and deceit. Was it all for Ms. Horton’s benefit, or could they be a Fabulous Five again? Stella found herself sipping champagne, the bubbles tickling her nose. For the briefest of times, she thought that she could enjoy a finer life full of rich things.

  Felicia and Mary-Beth were fluttering around Ms. Horton’s dress and pointing out all the amazing details Jackie had incorporated into the design. Even though the shiny beading wasn’t Stella’s taste, she had to give Jackie a thumbs-up on her creation. “It’s perfect,” Stella mumbled under her breath.

  They all stopped midsip, midturn, mi
dsentence.

  “What?” Stella abandoned her crystal glass on the side table.

  “You said something’s perfect?” Carissa’s eyes were wide and her smile even bigger.

  “About one of my designs,” Jackie said with a straight pin hanging from the side of her lips.

  “So?” Stella shifted in the plush seat.

  Felicia collapsed on the chair at her side. “You never say anything’s perfect. It might be fine, average, okay, acceptable, but never perfect.”

  Mary-Beth grabbed the champagne flute. “What did you put in her drink, Jackie?”

  “Stop. You’re all being ridiculous.” Stella grabbed her jacket and flung it over her shoulder. “I’ve gotta get back to the shop.”

  Ms. Horton hiked her dress up and hobbled over to block Stella’s escape. “Nope. Not happening. Sit back down. This is my fitting, and you’re going to stay put.”

  Stella backed away, seeing a hint of the legend of bridezilla making an appearance. “Okay, I’ll stay. It’s fine.”

  “Now that’s the Stella we know and love.” Carissa winked. “I think you should let out the hips a little, though. Mr. Strickland said that he wanted to dance like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers at their wedding. Ms. Horton can’t even take a step left or right without pulling the hem to her knees.”

  “Point taken.” Jackie waved Ms. Horton back to the wedding gown platform.

  Stella wanted to thank Carissa for throwing the distraction in to get everyone off her case. The front door opened, sending a whiff of honeysuckle inside from the plants beginning to bloom out front of the shop. Stella always found it to be a pleasant aroma from a distance, but the flower was too potent if within fifty feet.

  “Hi, ladies. I hope it’s okay. Mayor Horton invited me.” Lori entered with a soft step and voice. Stella couldn’t help but resent the woman after discovering she was the one who had uncovered her adolescent mug shot. That had been squashed and buried along with the memory that only she and Ms. Horton knew about. Not even Carissa had ever discovered the ugly truth, despite Ms. Horton’s push toward Stella telling the girls while they were in high school. Eventually, she gave up and let it go and they’d all moved on. No reason to dredge up the dirty secrets of the past…until now.

  “Come on in.” Ms. Horton opened her arms and welcomed Lori as one of Sugar Maple’s own. Stella cringed at the thought. The sooner Lori left, the sooner Stella could stop worrying about everyone finding out.

  They all fussed and fawned over Ms. Horton, the dress, the wedding, and the epic tale of ex-high school sweetheart turned middle-aged groom.

  Stella had never understood why people thought the story was romantic. The man married another woman, despite the fact that he was doing the right thing by helping a friend from being run out of town for an unwanted pregnancy in a time that apparently you had to wear a scarlet letter for the sin. Did it really matter why? The man had broken Ms. Horton’s heart. He’d done the wrong thing, despite the right reasons.

  “I think the dress is perfect,” Lori squealed.

  They all looked to Stella.

  “That seems to be the word of the day,” Ms. Horton said with a smile.

  Carissa turned Ms. Horton to face the three-way mirror. “Look at yourself. You are perfect. Mr. Strickland is going to forget how to dance or even speak when he sees you in this dress.”

  “Might not be too long until we see you in a dress like that, Carissa.” Lori twirled her finger in the air like a magic wand. “I’m just saying… I’ve never seen Drew so enamored by anyone before. He’s head over heels for you, girl.”

  Carissa blushed.

  How sweet.

  Stella tried to be happy for her friend—and she’d made progress—but everything was changing, and if there was one thing Stella didn’t like, it was change.

  Lori settled in next to Stella and set her purse on the floor at her feet. “Hi, you. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

  “Sounds like you’ve been talking a lot lately,” Stella said, leaving a bitterness on her tongue long after the words were said.

  “I wanted to speak to you, but Knox insisted he deal with it. Listen, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble for you. Knox told me to dig, so I did.”

  “All the way to hell apparently,” Stella grunted. Her leg bounced fast and hard, energy raced through her, and she wanted to run from the room.

  “I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I stopped digging. All he knows is that you have a mug shot.”

  Stella grabbed her hand and squeezed tight. “Not here.”

  Lori looked between her and the girls.

  “Everything all right over there, ladies?” Jackie asked, her gaze on Stella’s hands.

  “Ouch.” Ms. Horton jumped. “You stuck me. Pay attention to yourself when you’re jabbing those things into the dress.

  Stella retracted her hand, and Lori rubbed her wrist. “Understood.” The woman looked like she wanted to run as badly as Stella did.

  “All finished. You can take the dress off.” Jackie removed the pincushion from her wrist. The minute Ms. Horton entered the dressing room, Stella snagged her jacket.

  “Okay, girl time’s over. I’ve got to go. Business meeting,” Stella said.

  “You’re lying so you can get out of here,” Jackie accused.

  Stella huffed. “Weren’t you listening earlier, I have to meet up with Bradley about his classic car.”

  Lori snagged her purse. “No, actually, she does. We need to get contracts signed for the next show, so she needs to meet with Bradley about more than just the car.”

  “Wow, our little Stella a movie star.” Jackie tossed the pincushion into a basket.

  Stella hoofed it toward the door before anyone could see the utter shock on her face. “You heard the lady.” It was obvious Lori had tried to throw her an olive branch but smacked her in the face instead.

  “Don’t forget we’re meeting Sunday evening for another girls’ night at my house,” Mary-Beth hollered.

  “Right. Sure.” Stella raced out the door and across the town square with her head down, hoping to make it back to her shop without any more surprises.

  “Are you going to sell yourself?” Knox’s voice shot through her like an armor-piercing bullet.

  She stopped, realizing he sat on the bench in the center of the square. His words sucker-punched her. “How did you figure it out?” Stella choked on her words and the shame. “Lori said she didn’t dig any deeper. How?” Her voice cracked. For the first time since she was thirteen, she wanted to cry. To shout at the world for the deck she’d been handed.

  She pushed up her sleeves and marched toward him.

  He shot his hands up. “Wait.”

  “No, you wait. Who gave you the right to dig into my past? What makes you people think you can come in here and destroy people’s lives? That’s what you’ve done. You’ve dug up the most painful thing in my life and thrown it in my face. If you don’t want to do the show with me because my father tried to sell me to a man for drugs, then that’s your business. I was a child. I didn’t know. I didn’t! I didn’t…”

  He put his arms around her and pulled her toward him. She balled up her fists and tried to punch him, to punch the memory away, but he was too strong. “Let go of me.” She managed to shove hard enough that he let her go. “I need to go stop Lori one way or another. This entire town doesn’t need to know my dirty little secret. Even if I have to beat it out of her.”

  “Lori didn’t tell me.”

  Stella froze. “I don’t understand.” She sucked in a short breath. “How did you figure it out?”

  “I didn’t.” Knox approached, this time slower, tentatively. “You told me.”

  “What?” Stella fisted her hands again. She wanted to hit anything, anyone. No, her father. The man who’d betrayed her, manipulated her. “I didn’t tell you. You’re twisting things.”

  “No, I’m not.” He lowered his voice. “I asked if
you were going to sell yourself.”

  “Right. Like when I was thirteen.”

  Knox placed his fingers on her forearm. “No. I never would’ve said something like that if I had known.”

  “You said…”

  “I know. And I shouldn’t have said it, but all I meant was that I thought that you were selling yourself to him by restoring his car to save your garage without having to do my show. It was wrong to say, and I didn’t mean it. I was angry. I only meant that you didn’t have to pick that option. I’ll work with you to save your garage.”

  “Why should I trust you?” Her insides felt like an engine with bad oil, telling her to run, to never trust anyone. The same thing she’d been doing since she was thirteen. Never allowing a man close to her except her abuelo. “Why should I trust any man to help me when I couldn’t even trust my own father?”

  Sixteen

  “I’m so sorry.” Knox rubbed his forehead, wishing to forget the pain in Stella’s eyes. Anger bubbled up inside him, but he knew going off the rails wouldn’t help her. “You said your father’s in jail, right?”

  “Yes.” She looked toward the afternoon sky, as if to fly away. “I put him there.”

  “Good for you. That took more strength than most woman could muster. Heck, most men.”

  “Good for me?” Stella slapped her palms against her thighs with a muted smack to her jeans. “What kid does that? You should’ve heard him when they carried him away.” Stella took off up the sidewalk toward her garage. A car came barreling down the hill, so Knox grabbed her elbow to keep her from stepping out in front of it. She turned on him. “He said I was a worthless, ungrateful little whore who didn’t deserve him as a father, didn’t deserve a father at all, and that he wasn’t even my real father. Only a man my mother dropped me off with when she didn’t want me anymore.”

  She spun on her heels again, her hair smacking him in the face, and marched up the hill. “He’s the one who didn’t deserve you.” Knox ran to catch her. For a small woman, she sure was fast and feisty. They reached the gravel lot outside the garage, and he didn’t want her to run off that upset, so he got in front of her, blocking her path. “Wait. Just stop for a second.”