The Fall We Fell: A Small Town Friends-to-Lovers Romance (Ocean Pines Series Book 1)

by Victoria Denault

“I’ve missed you in all your nerdy glory,” he flops back on the sand after letting out that beyond-sexy grunt.

  I smile and my heart swells more than it should. My brain yells ‘Take that, Tom!’ I rearrange the sand dollars in order from smallest to biggest the way my mom used to line us up for family photos.

  “Did you miss me?”

  My breath catches. That’s a loaded question because I don’t know how to answer. Things definitely feel different between us. I know it’s only been twenty-four hours—not even, technically—but he feels less… walled off. I’m no longer filled with teenage humiliation over that shun way back when or the fact that he dated my best friend instead of me… okay well maybe that one still irks me a little. But not enough to keep me from being happy he’s back.

  “The pregnant pause isn’t doing anything for my ego, Tink,” Jake warns me.

  I turn and glance over my shoulder at him, lying in the sand, a careless smile on his pretty mouth, a glimmer of something mischievous in his coal colored eyes, sand granules peppered into his inky, still damp hair. “I missed you. I’m glad you’re back but I also wish you never left.”

  The smile deepens, but not in a cocky way. “I needed to go, but I also needed to come back.”

  “Why?” I whisper. I don’t mean to but I don’t seem to be able to find my voice.

  He sits back up. Sand is everywhere – the shoulders of his wetsuit, his hair, his cheek. “I needed to prove something to myself, and to others. I wanted to prove I wasn’t just the town charity case.”

  “You were never that to my family or me and you know that,” I can’t help but gently chastise him. “We helped you out because you were a kid. All kids in your situation need help, but you especially deserved it. It wasn’t charity, or pity.”

  “Yeah but… I was leaning too hard on your brothers and parents. I expected too much.” He looks suddenly uncomfortable like there’s a deeper issue he doesn’t want to disclose. There must be.

  “Children who grew up with the lack of stability you did, tend to have fight or flight reactions to situations,” I explain, my schooling kicking into high gear. “So what exactly triggered your flight three years ago, Jake? There is something more concrete than just a vague idea of proving yourself. Which, by the way, you never needed to do.”

  His eyes shift from the ocean in front of us to me. We’re shoulder to shoulder. If I wasn’t wearing a cardigan I would be able to feel the neoprene of his wetsuit. I can almost feel his breath on my cheek. Oh how I wish we were just a little inch closer. “I see you finished you’re therapy degree, huh?”

  “Close. One semester left, but I’m taking a break,” I reply without elaboration. He’s trying to change the subject and I want to force him to open up but I’m distracted by the sand on his cheekbone. It’s the perfect excuse to touch him and that’s what I want more than anything right now. So I reach up and softly brush my fingertips across it from just under his eyes to his hairline. The sand tumbles off. His skin is warm from the sun and slightly sticky from the salt water.

  He reaches up and circles my wrist with his hand, freezing my movement, keeping the tips of my fingers against his cheek. His own fingers curl around the edge of my sleeve. “What’s with another long sleeved shirt, Tink? It’s already high seventies out here.”

  “Long story,” I whisper back.

  “Don’t feel like talking?” He questions, his voice also a whisper, but a rough one that makes a tingle start to spread inside me. I shake my head. “Yeah, me either.”

  His head moves a fraction of an inch closer to mine. And just when he gets close enough that he blurs and my stomach clenches in anticipation … his cell phone alarm goes off a few feet away, by his surfboard. It might as well be a cannon going off. We both jump apart and he leaps to his feet. “Fuck. I have to leave like right now or I will be late for my first shift.”

  “Seven a.m. to seven a.m.,” I mumbled. “Just like the paramedics.”

  “Yeah, I’m actually working with Logan this shift which will be great,” Jake says and walks over to his stuff. I follow. I don’t know why. I feel like I’m not ready to walk away. I’m clinging to whatever the hell that almost was and am not ready to let it go. He grabs his phone off his towel and I watch as he turns off the alarm.

  “Man, timing is everything, and I don’t seem to have it,” His smile disappears. “I wish I could stay longer and talk more.”

  It doesn’t feel like talking is what we were going to do, but I don’t say that to him because I’m never sure of anything with Jake. And right now, that’s a can of emotional worms I’m not ready to open. So instead I nod and smile back at him. “No worries. We have all the time in the world to catch up now that you’re back for good.”

  “I hope so,” Jake says and reaches for his board. “Okay. Well, I’m gonna go.”

  “Knock ‘em dead on your shift!” I say cheerily but then realize how stupid that expression is for a firefighter. “I mean, don’t actually knock anyone dead. Keep ‘em all alive. And yourself too.”

  Everything is suddenly and completely awkward. My head clears instantly. I walk back over to my sand dollars and pick them up. “Have a good shift!” I call over my shoulder and without looking back, I walk down the beach away from Jake.

  5

  Jake

  Of course Logan catches me upchucking in the bathroom at work on my very first damn shift. When I heard about the opening in Ocean Pines, one of the pros for applying on my pros and cons list was getting to work with Logan. He’s on the paramedic team, which is also based out of the fire station, so I would be spending a lot of time with him. I figured it would give us a chance to get close again. We never had a genuine falling out but, well, we’ve had some issues most of which, like stereotypical manly men, we’ve never discussed. He was one of the main reasons I decided to leave Ocean Pines in the first place. The one I didn’t want to discuss with Terra this morning. He doesn’t know that though.

  “Jesus, Mav, do you need to go home?” Logan asks as I walk out of the stall. He’s standing there in a towel, soaking wet. I knew someone was in the shower when I rushed in here to heave up that lobster roll I ate before my shift started, but I didn’t have an option to do this anywhere else.

  “Nah. I’m good. Just… nerves,” I say with a shrug and walk over to the bank of sinks and turn the cold water on full blast. First I splash it on my face and then I drink from the faucet to wash out my mouth.

  “Nerves? You still do that? Like, a lot?” Logan’s stern expression says he’s unconvinced I’m okay.

  When I was a kid I had what the doctors called a nervous stomach. Growing up, my life was more than a little unpredictable and I used to puke if I was really stressed or scared. Logan and Finn knew about it because I’d upchucked in front of them before. A lot. “Nah. But, you know, I just changed my whole life, so I guess it was bound to happen.”

  Oh and this morning I almost kissed your sister on the beach but then spent the last several hours spiraling over the fact that I might have impregnated her sworn enemy and my ex-girlfriend, so there’s that.

  “You look pale,” Logan says as he studies my face. “You sure it’s not more than nerves? Flu maybe? You’re never pale.”

  I glance at myself in the mirror again. He’s right. I’m olive skinned so for something to make me pale, it’s serious. Potentially knocking up an ex is pretty damn serious. Logan of all people would be the one I should tell about this since River was an unplanned pregnancy. But Aspen told me to keep my mouth shut.

  I catch his eye in the long mirror above the sinks. I’ve always been jealous of how the Hawkins kids look like their parents. You can visibly link traits to both Lucy and Charlie in each kid. I don’t look a lick like my mom. She’s fair skinned with medium brown hair and pale hazel eyes, narrow lips and an upturned nose. The only thing darker than my skin is my eyes, and the only thing darker than my eyes is my hair, which is jet black. My nose is straight and narrow, my lips ful
l. I must look like the accidental, unknown sperm donor. But if you took a quick glimpse at Lucy and Charlie Hawkins you could pick out their four kids in a group of hundreds. Logan and Finn have their dad’s chestnut hair that turns golden with enough sun and their dad’s light blue eyes, strong jaw, and rugged build. Declan has a Charlie face but with Lucy’s lighter hair and dark eyes. Terra got Lucy’s dark eyes and her fair hair, and height, but there’s Charlie in her wide set eyes, dimpled chin and freckles, which he had when he was younger too.

  Terra.

  I physically shudder at the idea that I may have to tell her I got Aspen pregnant. It’s crazy that I feel worse about that than telling anyone else. It felt like something was finally happening with her this morning, but that’s impossible… right? She just broke up with someone. I just got back to town. That alone would be enough to say the chemistry, the pull between us at the beach, couldn’t be real. But it felt real. And right. But if she knew Aspen might be carrying my kid, she’d be even colder and more emotionally blocked off than she was before I left three years ago. And she would likely stay that way forever if the kid is mine. Suddenly the idea that I may have to go all my life without ever telling her how I feel seems ludicrous. Why the hell did I leave it so long?

  “Dude… let me get my kit and check you out,” Logan says.

  I shake my head, making sure to hold his eye when I do it but not daring to speak. I don’t want to tell him about this until I talk to Aspen again. I didn’t have her phone number, because she’s changed it in the last three years, and I’m not even sure if she’s at the same apartment she was when I left and I didn’t have time to drive by and find out. So since I can’t see her or text her, I’ve sent her emails. Fourteen of them since last night, all begging for more information. She hasn’t answered one of them.

  “You’ve been a firefighter since you were twenty-one. You’ve worked this exact station and you were a lieutenant back in King’s Rock for a year so that role’s not new either. This shouldn’t make you stressed, buddy,” Logan claps my shoulder. “And you know this town like the back of your hand.”

  It’s sweet he’s trying to give me a pep talk. I wish this was my real issue because it would make me feel better. To be fair, it is something I worry about, just not my biggest worry anymore. “Yeah, I know. I’m good. I swear.”

  He doesn’t look like he’s convinced but he nods and makes his way over to the lockers and changing room. I head for the door to leave but pause. “Hey, how’s it been being a dad to River? I mean now that you’re…”

  “Not so drunk I don’t remember I have a kid?’ Logan finishes that sentence way more bluntly than I would have. He grins to let me know he’s okay with his own bluntness. “It’s great. He is the best thing I ever did. Even though it means I have to deal with the wrath of Bethany for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t give him up for anything.”

  I smile. Logan looks so proud right now. So fulfilled just talking about River. I want to cling to that, make it a reason to hope that would be me if Aspen’s baby is mine, but then I remember Logan had good roots. Charlie and Lucy are solid parents. He knows how to be a good parent because he was raised by them. I’m the kid who was essentially raised by no one and everyone and has no foundation for this. That’s a big part of the reason I have never wanted kids.

  “Jake? You’re pale again.” Logan pulls on his underwear and a T-shirt.

  Logan will be able to talk me off this mental ledge I’m teetering on. I know Aspen doesn’t want anyone to know but I need to tell someone. I need support. Logan is also not a gossip. He’s in Alcoholics Anonymous so he understands and values privacy. If I told him, he wouldn’t tell a soul.

  “Something… might have happened and I just…” The alarm starts echoing through the entire building. Logan rushes to throw the rest of his clothes on as I sprint to the door and make my way down the hall to where the firetrucks and my gear are.

  The dispatcher’s voice booms through the intercom. “Structure fire. Apartment complex. 19 Union Avenue. One Truck and ambulance required.”

  Shit. I know that address.

  I charge down the hall to the engine bay and scramble into my gear like everyone else. Logan and his partner are jumping into their rig as I climb up into the firetruck. Our firehouse serves two towns. Ocean Pines is the smallest. The town next door, Old Orchard Beach, is the biggest and it’s where the fire is.

  We get there quickly and see fire spitting out the broken windows of one apartment unit. The one above my ex-girlfriend Aspen Barlowe’s apartment. At least it was her apartment three years ago before I left town. Does she still live here? I fucking hope not.

  We all jump off the rig and Captain yells orders. He has me on lead to go into the building with Ronan and Murphy. Dan and the others are working the truck and hose. I flip the switch in my brain that I have to, that I’m trained to, the one that has me walking into a burning building following all the rules, procedures, practices that I’ve been taught and not worry about personal problems. It locks up the part of my brain that wants to be freaking out that my ex, who may or may not be pregnant with my kid, might be burning to a crisp.

  There’s a crowd of tenants already on the grass but no Aspen. Maybe she moved? Three years is a long time. We start a floor by floor sweep of the building. Because the fire seems fairly contained to one unit and the main sprinkler system is raining down on us, we split up to cover more ground. I go up to the second floor, Ronan the third, and Murphy covers the first. As I’m helping out an elderly lady cradling her cat in her arms out of her apartment and down the stairs to the first floor, I hear screaming. Not screaming in agony or screaming in fear but screaming in frustration. I know that scream. And then, as I enter the lobby of the building with this gray-haired lady and her hissing orange cat, I hear Murphy. “Ma’am. Please! Calm down!”

  Across the tiled lobby soaked with sprinkler water, she’s got Aspen over her shoulder. Aspen’s got her head reared up as she yells. Her blond hair is hanging in long wet curls around her face which is red with anger. In her hands she’s got two bags, the reusable grocery store kind. I follow Murphy and my tantruming ex out the front doors, my arm wrapped around this little old lady who I guide straight over to Logan and Lester for a health assessment.

  Murphy has plopped Aspen onto her feet and now she’s standing on the grass in front of her building digging through her bags. “Ma’am you should probably go see the paramedics and make sure you don’t have any—”

  “I’m fine but you won’t be if you call me Ma’am again,” Aspen warns. “Got it, lady?”

  “Sorry but I don’t do cat fights,” Murphy quips, unphased by Aspen’s tantrum.

  Ronan exits the building. “Third floor clear.”

  Technically Ronan Green is a lieutenant, like me, and we should always be on alternating shifts, but he is supposed to be training me, or reacquainting me as Captain D’Amato put it, with the station so we’re on this call together.

  I call out to Captain. “Building is clear.”

  “That’s my job, Maverick,” Ronan says and frowns and then he turns to the captain and shouts. “New guy is correct. All clear, Cap.”

  Captain nods in our direction and opens his mouth to give more orders but suddenly Aspen jumps to her feet and runs back toward the building. Captain’s eyes look like they’re going to fly out of his head and he points.

  “On it!” I say loudly and put a hand on Murphy’s shoulder to stop her from following Aspen before I take off after her. Ronan scowls at me as I jog by him but I pretend not to notice.

  I reach her as she’s about to run into the lobby again. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I lift her off her feet easily. Aspen is tall, almost five-ten, but I’m taller and picking her up is something I’ve done literally and figuratively before. She screeches in protest.

  “Aspen I know this is a nightmare, but you don’t need to up the ante by repeatedly running into a burning building,” I say sternly and she sti
ffens for a second but then starts thrashing in my arms again. But at least she stops with the screaming.

  I finally put her back on her feet, which I notice are bare, on the sidewalk and stand in front of her blocking her path back to the burning apartment building. “Jake, my stuff. It’s all still in there!” Aspen explains to me, her very pretty face all twisted with stress and panic. “Thousands of dollars of work equipment. Notes. My work laptop. Evidence!”

  She tries to rush past me again but I grab her by her narrow shoulders, which I suddenly realize are covered in only a thin, long-sleeved T-shirt, which is a pale gray and soaking wet. Soaking, like her hair. It’s a chilly night. “Aspen, it’s just stuff. If your rental insurance doesn’t cover it, the building’s insurance should. Now let’s get you into a warm blanket.”

  Still holding her shoulders I guide her over to the ambulance. Well, it’s more like shove and pull her because she really doesn’t want to go. “I grabbed as much as I could,” she points to the bags as we pass them. “But I didn’t get everything.”

  “I have to say a part of me is impressed you’re trying to save your work stuff and not your designer clothing,” Logan says with a snarky grin as he starts unfolding a silver emergency blanket for her beside his ambulance. “You’re not the Aspen I knew in high school who would save her Coach purse from an oncoming car before she’d save a kitten.”

  “Ugh. Logan, you still suck,” Aspen says tersely and rolls her eyes. But she shivers and I frown. Her eyes find mine and she whispers. “Not now.”

  “Is it your apartment on fire, Aspen?” Ronan asks as he strides over to us.

  “No. The one above me,” Aspen explains, her tone terse and cold. “But the smoke is pouring into my place and it tripped the main sprinkler system and I’m sure my place is completely flooded by now.”

  I feel bad for her. Her big blue eyes are swimming in tears. Ronan stares at her and she stares back, defiant. He opens his mouth, closes it and storms off. “Jake, don’t spend all night coddling your ex. We have work to do.”