by Harlow Layne
Sensing his uneasiness, I turn in my seat and produce a small smile. I’m unsure if I pull off its authenticity when Tyson’s only response is the down turn to his full kissable lips.
“I’m sorry I made this weird. It was never my intention. After my failed marriage, I’ve learned that I need to follow my instincts, but with you I’m conflicted.”
He nods, and I direct him the rest of the way to my house without explaining anymore of what’s going on with internal struggle.
My house isn’t much to look at from the outside, but the inside is where it shines. Over the past nine months, I’ve remodeled a few rooms of my small house. I still have a lot to do, but I love each room that has been renovated. After moving out of the house Gerald and I had shared for the entirety of our marriage, I didn’t want a big house. There was no need. I had no children and likely never would being almost forty-years-old and starting over.
Parking his SUV in my drive, Tyson sits unmoving, looking straight ahead. I know I need to explain. It’s now or never. If I don’t it’s likely Tyson will drive away and never look back.
Unbuckling first my seatbelt and then his, I pry his right hand from the steering wheel, and hold it in mine. “Can we go inside and talk? I know I said I’d tell you while you drove, but this is harder than I thought it would be.”
“If it’s so difficult for you, then maybe I should go home.” He pulls his hand from mine and moves to put the SUV into reverse.
“What if I don’t want you to go home?” I confess with barely more than a whisper.
Even in the dim light from the street light, I see his Adam’s apple bob. Is he nervous too?
“You’ve got to give me something, Sadie. I’ve been going out of my mind over here wondering what the hell happened,” he chokes out.
“I will. I promise, but first let’s go inside. I want to be able to see you clearly when I talk to you.”
“Fine, but I reserve the right to leave if you don’t start talking.”
“Fair enough, but I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
We silently climb out and up to my front door. I don’t like the tension that’s now between us, and I hate that I’m the one who put it there.
Stepping inside, I turn on a lamp on the side table, casting the room in a warm glow. I watch as Tyson takes in my home for the first time. The walls are painted two shades of grey, alternating on the walls of the room. The fireplace mantel along with my bookshelves are white and cover one wall. My couch is dark grey with big pillows that make it comfortable and relaxing. Two chairs flank the couch in a dark, purple velvet. It’s one of my favorite spots in the house to sit, read, and relax.
I sit on the couch and continue to watch. With Tyson in my living room it now seems small with his large body occupying the space, but I like the way he looks here.
“I was scared I wasn’t ready for more. Whatever this is, but now…”
“You’re not now?” he interrupts.
Shaking my head, I answer him. “No, when we were driving, I realized I didn’t want you to walk away tonight.”
Tyson sighs and sits down on the other side of the couch facing me. “What happened tonight, Sadie? If you would,” he sighs again, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Just talk to me, okay? I want to understand.”
“First, I want to start by saying I’m sorry for being late tonight. My mother called asking for money. Saying it was an emergency. But it’s always an emergency with her. Luckily, she doesn’t know my new address. She’s already hit up Gerald’s place hoping to find me there. As if I’d be there when he’s got some boy toy flouncing around in all his naked glory.” I shake my head, remembering the time I went back to get a box I’d forgotten out of the office and caught what’s his name on his knees in front of my then soon to-be ex-husband. “Don’t need that visual in my head again, anytime soon, or ever.”
Tyson smiles and relaxes into the cushions. “So, your ex is gay?”
“Yeah,” I rest my head on the back of the couch and roll it toward him. “I feel stupid for not realizing it until I caught him in the act.” I try to smile, but know I fail. “I should have realized when any sex we did have was from behind with him not being able to look at me.”
“Ouch,” he grimaces. “I’ve got to say sex from behind can be spectacular, but…” he pauses as his eyes regard me. “I promise to always look you in the eyes.”
At least he made it seem like there would be a next time.
“I sense there’s more to tonight. Something’s holding you back. Am I right?”
“So many things,” I admit without looking at him.
When I do get the courage, Tyson’s eyes regard me sadly.
“You make me feel beautiful, desirable, and wanted in ways that I’ve never felt before. Most importantly, you make me feel alive. I’m happy for the first time in… forever. Truly happy and all that has to mean something. Right?”
He clears his throat, but still doesn’t look happy. “I’d like to think so. What’s holding you back?” he swallows. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, Tyson,” I scramble onto his lap and cup his cheeks in my hands as I look down at him. “There’s nothing wrong with you. How can you think that?”
His light green eyes shutter. “You don’t want me.”
“I want you,” I lightly kiss his full pouty lips. “That’s not the problem.”
“What is?” he implores me.
“The fact that everyone wants you and once you get tired of me, you’ll find someone much younger and prettier.”
“Age is only a number. Don’t give it power over you. Over us.”
“I know, but,” I let out a deep sigh. “This is all new to me. I’m not used to being a cougar. If it was the other way around, I probably wouldn’t care.”
“A cougar? Is that what you think you are?” he asks on a laugh.
“I’m the definition of a cougar, Tyson,” I cry out. “There’s a fourteen-year age difference.”
His hand rubs up and down my back in a soothing motion. “I know, but like I said don’t give the number power. From the moment I saw you in the halls at work, I’ve been attracted to you. I don’t care how old either of us are.”
“It’s easy for you to say because no one’s going to think badly about you for being with me,” I huff.
His brows furrow. “Who’s going to think because you’re fucking me you’re a bad person?”
“Is that all this is? Fucking?”
“I don’t know, Sadie. You tell me. I want more,” his jaw ticks. “But you’re the one holding back.”
“I have reasons,” I sigh, resting my head on his shoulder.
“You have reasons, but what do you feel right now, right here, wrapped in my arms?”
“Safe, treasured, beautiful.” And so much more I don’t want to admit.
“All good things, so why are you holding back?”
Tears sting the back of my eyes, and I choke out my confession. “I don’t want you to break me. I already feel too much.”
“Hey,” he says, pulling back to look at me. “I don’t want to break you either. That’s not the plan.” Looking up at the ceiling, he mutters. “If you only knew.”
“Then tell me. Maybe it will help.”
“Or it will hurt my chances, and you’ll run far, far away,” he says, continuing to speak to the ceiling.
What could he possibly say that he thinks will make me run away?
Does he want a dozen babies?
Is he wanted by the law?
“Well, I’d like you to share, but I understand. It was hard for me to open up, and I won’t push you. I haven’t even told you everything.”
Tyson perks up. He sits up, his hands gripping my hips. “What else is there?”
“We work in the same building, and if you continue on, you’ll be working under me on some projects. Well, I’ll oversee your boss, but I’ll get the final say in who’s campaign we use and if I choose you
, then it could be seen as favoritism.”
He blows out a breath. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
“I have and there are options, but if we’re only fucking, then there’s no need for me to put into motion something that could possibly discredit me.”
“I don’t want that, and stop saying that we’re only fucking, okay?” he growls, setting me down on the couch to stand and pace the room. “We’re doing more than fucking. At least, I am. That’s why we’re having this discussion.” Tyson stops with his hands on his hips. “Is there anything else?”
“One more,” I bite my bottom lip not wanting to say, knowing it’s a deal breaker.
“Fuck,” he says defeated and sits back down, hanging his head. “It’s that bad?”
“I’ve only been with one other man before you, and look how that turned out. He’s gay,” I laugh out bitterly. “It may be the way things are done now, but I don’t want to share. I’m monogamous to a fault. Even though I was separated and filed for divorce, I stayed true to my vows and stayed faithful, unlike Gerald.” Taking in a deep breath, I try to gather myself before letting it out. “I don’t know the reasons why you’re an escort, but that’s a hard limit for me.”
“A hard limit, huh?” he smiles, and I want to melt, but then remember all the women he has probably fucked since our first night together.
“It’s non-negotiable,” I state, knowing I’ve just ended things.
“I guess it’s a good thing I quit.” He smirks back at me.
Did I hear that correctly?
“What?” I know my mouth is hanging open, but really, what?
Tyson chuckles while pulling me back onto his lap. His eyes light up along with his smile.
“Let me preface this by saying nine out of ten dates were non-physical, but I knew that I couldn’t be with another woman after our night together. I was notified of a date that I was less than excited about and knew what I had to do. Quit.”
“Really?” I can’t help but question him again because I never thought he’d quit let alone because of me.
“Really.” He plants a slow and delicious kiss to my lips. “Now, why don’t you show me to your bathroom where we can take that bath we were planning.”
Sliding off his lap, I stand. “Follow me.”
6
Tyson
Sliding in behind Sadie, I wrap my arms around her as she leans back against my chest right where she’s supposed to be. Her bathtub is big enough to fit at least two more people in it and that’s saying something with my six-foot two frame.
Her bathroom reminds me of the Mediterranean with different blue and green colored tiles that make up the shower and surround the tub. The rest is done in a rich, dark wood with white gleaming granite countertops. Normally, I would feel uncomfortable being surrounded in luxury, but Sadie makes me feel welcome. Even downstairs when there was tension between us, I felt strangely at home.
Growing up in the poor part of town has left me unaccustomed to the lifestyle that Sadie lives in. After tonight, I’d be embarrassed to have her see my shabby studio apartment.
“This is nice,” she moans out. Her fingers tracing shapes on the tops of my legs.
“Are you feeling better?”
She turns to look over her shoulder. “I am. You’re going to have to let me get accustomed to you.”
If I had known it was a possibility to fuck her out of commission, I would have tried to be gentler.
Leaning forward, I place a kiss to the juncture between her neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sadie.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn’t until we were lying there and I moved that I felt how sore I was.”
“I’m still sorry. Every minute, day and night, I replay our night on a loop. I’ve been a walking hard on.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply. “Then I thought you weren’t going to show up tonight. I was a little over zealous when I saw you step through the doorway.”
My cock stirs as she skims one hand slowly down my leg. “I like that you were happy to see me.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Very happy,” I nip her neck.
“Can I ask you something?” she asks hesitantly. Her hands still their caresses and tracing shapes.
“What do you want to know?”
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but why did you escort? You said most of the time you weren’t hired for sex.”
“No, most of the women who hired me only wanted me to take them to events like work functions, weddings, or the occasional date to make an ex jealous, that kind of thing. We’d meet at the event, and I’d never know where they lived or see them again.”
“Most?” she questions, cautiously.
“There were the occasional women that hired me only for sex. It wasn’t like that in the beginning. At first, it was only dates, and after a few months, I was approached by the agency to see if I’d be open to the possibility.”
Her body goes rigid at the mention of sex with other women, but I continue on. She wants to know why I started, not when I started to have sex for money.
“My senior year in college, I started to feel run down, and thought it was the flu that was going around until I found a lump in one of my testicles. I went to the clinic and was diagnosed with testicular cancer.”
“Cancer?” she asks shocked, over her shoulder.
My only response is to nod. It’s not something I like to talk about, but she needs to know why, and I’m not going to start off our relationship by lying.
“Oh my God, Tyson.” Sadie turns and straddles my legs, her eyes wide. “You’re okay, now aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I’m healthy now.”
“What are the chances of you getting cancer again?” Her voice is soft with a slight tremor.
“I have about a fifteen percent chance of a reoccurrence,” I shrug as if it’s not something I think about daily. What if it comes back, and what if it’s too late when I find it this time? “You should know that I can’t have children of my own. I don’t know where this is going, but I do know that can be a deal breaker for most women.”
Sadie chuckles to herself as one hand shifts through my hair. “I gave up on the dream to have children a few years ago. The barely there sex I did have wasn’t producing children. Now, I’m almost forty-years old and starting over again. There’s more of a chance of things going wrong the older the mother gets, so I’m okay with that. I don’t need children to feel fulfilled.”
“What do you need?” I ask because most women feel the need to be a mother.
She tilts her head to the side with a small smile. “To be happy and successful in life. The love of a good man who treats me right,” she shrugs. “Two out of three ain’t bad, right? Isn’t that what the song says?”
“Song?”
What the hell is she talking about?
“Never mind, you’re too young to know what I’m talking about. What about you? What do you need in life?”
“To be healthy, happy, and debt free.”
“All good things. Simple.”
“Simple, but not always easy to have. In six months, I’ll have paid off my medical bills. Talk to me then.”
“That’s why you became an escort,” she states with a look of astonishment in her eyes. “To pay off your bills.”
“It paid the bills better than any job I found while finishing college and interning.”
“What about your parents? Couldn’t they help you?”
I rest my forehead to hers and shake my head. “I grew up poor. Beyond poor. My father was never around, and my mom was either working to feed us or sleeping. She never had money for insurance, and once I was in college, neither did I.”
“I’m so sorry, Tyson. I hate the thought of you sick and scared, and all alone. I know about growing up poor. My mother drank every bit of money we ever had or gambled it away. I studied my ass off in high school to get the best scholarship possible to get away from her, but s
he always finds me, and comes begging for money. Even when I was a poor college kid, living off my scholarship money.”
“Looking around your house, you’d never know.”
“Thanks,” she brushes her lips to mine. “I’ve been remodeling it since I found and bought it. Once the inside is done, I want to work on the outside. Maybe put in a pool and a small flower garden. It would be much easier with a big strapping man around to help me.”
“Really?” I quirk an eyebrow.
Is she asking me to stick around and help, or is that only wishful thinking?
“Yeah,” she murmurs as she starts to trail kisses across my jaw.
“Hmm,” I moan when she nips just below my earlobe. Fuck, I want her so bad. My cock is rock hard between our slick, wet bodies. “I like where this is going, but if you’re sore, we don’t have to do this. I like talking to you almost as much as I like fucking you.”
“Good,” she licks down the column of my neck. “I like talking to you too, but right now, I want to ride that big cock of yours. Tell me you want me too.”
“I want you so fucking bad, Sadie.” A groan escapes when her hand squeezes my cock. “I… I need to grab a condom.” I manage to get out as she pumps me while kissing back up the side of my neck to nibble on my bottom lip.
What is it about her that makes me turn into a pubescent teenage boy?
Luckily my jeans are close, and all Sadie has to do is lean over with her delectable ass in my face as she fishes my wallet out of the back pocket. Leaning forward, she jumps and squeals as I bite her ass.
“Give a lady some warning next time, would you?” she pants, straddling me while she works open the condom.
“Your ass is too perfect to ignore,” I squeeze with both hands and rock her against my aching erection.
“I could say the same thing about yours. More than once I’ve wanted to bite it.” Her tiny hands roll on the condom and I can’t help but moan again. Her every touch drives me wild.
“What’s stopped you?” I ask, gripping her hips as she positions herself above me. Sex in a bathtub is tricky business, but I’m down for it.
“Before, we were at work, and I didn’t want to get called down to HR for sexual harassment.”