—Thanks, she responded. Her voice was flat, but it’s a start.
I climb the hill and let my feet dangle over the arch line, away from those that stand guard.
—Barley, is Haven alright? I ask. I was able to find her to connect, so she’s at least alive.
I blink fast and grip the cement ledge I’m sitting on as my vision shifts; Barley sends me images instead of words. I see glimpses of fighting: Guardia falling while grasping their throats, talists with hardened skin knocking guns to the floor, knives being slashed into bodies. I shudder.
—Yes, she finally responds and my vision clears. We were attacked two days ago, but we killed them all and we’re killing the rest now.
I can see that.
I take a breath and ready myself to tell her what I kept from her.
—Barley, Gray is alive.
—What!? she exclaims, then I see more flashes of death.
—He was shot at The Compound but Crow saved him and got him out as a transfer into The Guardia.
Instead of fighting, I see a glimpse of a young girl bloody on the large roots of a tree and a boy holding one of her hands in his while the other rests against her neck. I feel deep sorrow before the vision and the emotion fades.
—Gray is alive because of Crow?
I realize that I mentioned Crow assuming that she knew of him, but she was never at The Compound. Does she know who he is?
—Yes. He was at the station that you’re attacking now, but he was sent back to Rockwall for refusing to help attack talists. Crow is gone, but he’ll have to give him the serum when he returns.
—We can’t let that happen.
—I know. You’re closer; are you able to send someone?
—I got in and out once, but the other with me was shot and hung at the gates. They’ve increased security since; nobody gets close without being shot.
If nobody can sneak in, are there other ways to be allowed in? I don’t think Eliza has the freedom to let someone in through the front gates.
—What if someone gets captured purposefully? I offer.
—In what circumstances would The Guardia capture rather than kill?
—They might want to give them the serum? I think back to my injection, but quickly push away the fear the memory brings.
—They’re only giving that to the ones that aren’t a threat and they have stations for that now.
—True. That’s probably why Crow isn’t at Rockwall now.
—The Guardia probably wouldn’t bring anyone back, but Crow might. Is there anyone that intrigues him?
I instantly think of Peony and wonder, again, how Barley knows that about Crow.
—Peony does, but I don’t think she’d be able to handle being his prisoner again, let alone being strong enough to also rescue Gray.
—You underestimate her. She pauses for a moment and I almost wonder if she let go of the connection. Can you find out what town Crow is in for me?
—I can, but you aren’t seriously planning to send Peony in to be bait for Crow, are you?
—Yes. I am.
19
Zazi
A week after Kale took me in, the cobbler found his way to Flare and, thus, to me. Kale had gotten me a job cleaning at the bar. It didn’t pay much, but he let me sleep on a mat in his apartment and I had enough to cover food. I never returned to the shoemaker’s shop, my apprenticeship, or retrieved what little Crow had given me.
I was wiping down a table when he approached me, laying my pack on the table in front of me. Kale caught my gaze from the bar, but I shook my head once. He saw me at my lowest and he’s kept a close watch since.
“You’d rather clean crumbs, spills, and puke than learn a trade?” the cobbler asked, keeping his voice low.
I looked up. “I’m working to settle back into society, sir,” I told him, facing my worries instead of letting them fester inside. “The bartender Kale is helping me.”
He stared at me hard, but not angry. “I suppose that makes sense given who sent you to me. I’ll admit I expected a different set of problems when I agreed to take you in, though.”
I didn’t respond, unsure if I was supposed to.
“Why didn’t you come tell me?” he asked and gestured to my pack.
I shook my head, pushing surfacing memories away again. “Confrontation has never gone well for me. It’s one of the things I have to work on.”
“I hope you do, son. Come see me if you change your mind about the cobbling trade.”
I nodded, though I knew I never would.
I had feared that conversation, had let it eat away at me worrying about what he might say or do. In the end, as Kale had said, everything was fine.
The bar patrons that I had provoked questioned my presence working at Flare, but soon began grunting a greeting when they saw me. I got to know the other two bartenders, Ama and Reed and quickly built friendships with them as well. When it was slow, they’d teach me about bartending.
It was my conversations with Kale in the early morning after we closed the bar that helped me process everything that had brought me to that point. I would sit on my cot and he would sit in the chair next to it and we would talk until the sun’s rays lit up the room.
I explained my guilt about my mother, my father’s abuse, my sister Fable and what she did to save us. He told me about his childhood, his Guardia father’s wish for him to follow in his footsteps, and his trip to Brook to make his own choices.
“Do you miss them?” I asked when he told me that he hasn’t been back to visit. I don’t, though I miss what could have been.
He shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder what they’re up to or think about writing to my mom, but I haven’t.” I guess for both of us, Brook is where we’re starting over.
When he traced the T on my wrist with his thumb I told him about The Compound, my frequent desire for death to come, the explosion and my complacency, and the serum. He asked lots of questions, considering the stories he had been told about talists, and corrected his views. He was especially interested in the fact that I welcomed the serum.
“What element were you?” he asked.
“Aqua.”
He laughed once, sharp. “So that was your first time being truly physically hurt back when I met you?”
I shrugged. “Since I sparked, yes.”
“How did that happen? Did you just one day not get hurt when he beat you?”
“I think it was more gradual. I remember thinking that I was building up a resistance to it. Fable is the one that noticed I healed far faster than she was.”
“Did she resent you for it?”
“Not once I figured it out and used it to heal her. Sometimes I wonder why talists can connect to the elements that they do. I got the one that heals and she got the one that can harden your skin like tree bark.”
“Doesn’t quite seem like a coincidence. Do you still consider yourself one of them?” he asked.
“I’m not sure what I’d consider myself,” I answered honestly. I shrugged and added, “I guess I’m just Zazi.”
“Do you believe in their cause?”
“Nobody deserves to be treated the way they have… the way I was. I don’t think that I can do anything to help them, though. I know that I need to focus on and worry about myself right now.”
He jokingly asked if I had ever had time for love between my father’s murder, my time on the streets, and living in a death camp. I told him about those in The Compound that did, explaining that in retrospect I wonder if they did so more to satisfy the human need for touch, warmth, and safety. When he didn’t respond, waiting for me to answer for myself, I told him about Pyne.
He nodded, accepting my answer, but changed the subject without telling me about himself.
Then, one night when a storm raged outside and the bar was empty, he sent Ama home early. We spent the night drinking beer together and laughed about anything and everything until a silence grew between us.
He g
ot up and walked to the bar for a refill. “Are you ok now?” he asked, serious.
“What do you mean?” I responded, though I knew that he had to mean the condition I was in when we met.
“You’re happy and you want to live,” he clarified. “We’re friends now; I’m not just the guy helping you out. Right?”
I met him behind the bar and nodded, my old fears making me question his intentions. I am happy, yes, and I don’t want this to stop.
“Good,” he said, his smile growing.
“Why?” I asked, knowing that I need the answer to put my fears aside.
Instead of answering, he pressed his lips against mine. Before he could even begin to worry about my reaction, I stepped closer and kissed him back. Whether the result of alcohol or desire, neither of us stopped.
“Why did you ask if I’m ok?” I asked him later.
He rolled over to face me, kissing me once more before answering. “I like you, Zazi. I know that for a while there, I was your lifeline. I didn’t want to complicate that, especially if you weren’t interested.”
I considered his words and their implications for a long time, grateful for what he did for me while also accepting the change. I might not need him in order to be ok anymore, but I want him regardless.
“I’m definitely interested,” I finally told him.
20
Drex
16 Years Ago
Two weeks later, Commander Alex Franklin and I arrived at The Compound. We tied our horses off a mile away and, as we walked the last short distance on foot, he gave me my directive.
“You have shown to me, Drex, that you can handle the tough decisions and the darker side of life,” he began. “Our last few doctors didn’t last. They felt sorry for the captured. I hope that you won’t have that problem.”
I was surprised to see, as he walked me to The Infirmary, that a routine was practiced and in place. The Talists came in from their jobs and began lining up for roll call. I stopped and watched.
“They’ve been doing this for a while,” I comment. “This is habit now.”
“Yes,” he confirms.
I look to him. “They’ve been alive long enough to establish routines.”
He meets my eyes. “Yes.”
“Is this not a death camp?” I ask, reiterating what had been repeated over and over throughout my life.
Franklin smiles, slow. “The rest of Trinity believes so, but we only kill the ones we must.” We are kind and humane, he seems to be telling me.
“I thought they were too dangerous to keep alive,” I ask, subconsciously separating myself from the captives.
“It is better for our cause that the people of Trinity believe that. Yes, some most definitely are too dangerous to keep alive and those are exterminated. Most are docile sheep and, under our supervision, will never be a threat.”
“Better for our cause?” I ask.
“Would the average person turn in someone they know without a fight if they thought they were harmless?” he prompts.
“Wouldn’t they support us more if they knew we only killed the ones that were too far gone?”
“Think of it this way, Drex. If we separated innocent kids from their families and told them the truth that we’re keeping most alive, people would be outraged. They would make demands, insisting that we have measures in place to only take the dangerous ones. Most of the time, though, we don’t know that one is dangerous until it is too late. If they believe that talists are all dangerous and that we’re protecting them, they turn their backs and allow it to happen.”
“What do we do with the ones that aren’t killed?” I ask. If the public thinks that they’re all exterminated, we can’t just send them back out when they’re deemed safe.
“They work here. The Compound is as self-sufficient as it can be. That’s why we need you here for the living.”
“I am serving as doctor for the captured that are allowed to live?” I clarify. I felt like there would be something more to the job, especially since Commander Franklin is the one that brought me here.
“On the surface, yes,” he says, looking to me. “I think that we can do more good work here, though. Nobody is going to come looking for these people, Doctor. They’re yours to use as you see fit.” He turns to look at me, one hand firmly on my shoulder. “Use them. Learn from them. Report back.”
“Yes, sir.”
Turning, he led me inside my infirmary and introduced me to the small staff. “This is your new doctor, Drex Calder.”
I thought then of Mo and the Drex that I was before Cpt. Braga took me. I am not that person anymore, nor can I be with this assignment and directive.
I cannot be Drex anymore, but I can still keep a piece of Mo with me.
I met the eyes of each person in front of me before speaking.
“Call me Crow.”
21
Eli
Two months ago one of the scavengers found an old map of Dallas and, pooling everyone’s knowledge, we were able to chart out a decent approximation of Trinity’s towns. As we gathered knowledge in order to attack outposts and armories, I added them to the map.
Now Saeren comes up behind me, one hand on my back while the other holds the top left corner from blowing up with the wind. “Where are you sending me, boss?”
The light pressure of her hand on my back makes my skin hum, but only brings memories of Beth. I ignore her touch and focus on her question.
“I’m sending you and Adamyna to Meander,” I say, pointing out the town closest to our camp. I realize after my words come out that my tone is more rough than usual.
She pulls her right hand away. “And the others?”
“Aeroue and Estok will go to Preston,” I begin, pointing to a town a little less than ten miles north of Meander, then trace my finger five more miles north. “Cillian and Arlo will go here to Adelyn.”
When Saeren and those willing to help her finished up the posters, I chose these three Terra-Aer pairs to hang them and scout. The three towns almost form a vertical line up the center of Trinity. If they are receptive to our message and we can take control of them, we’ll be able to cut one half of Trinity off from the other.
“That’s really smart,” she remarks, smiling. I study her face, gauging her sincerity, then return her smile.
“Let’s say that this works and we’re able to take all three. Where will we go next?” she continues. I nod, accepting the question, and turn back to the map.
“We’re debating whether to spread east or west. If we go west, we can easily take the towns that are cut off from Rockwall without much fight. If we go east, we can form an offensive and cut Rockwall off from everything else.”
She studies the map, chewing on her lip. “Easier isn’t always better. I’d say cut Rockwall off and then take the others.
“I agree. We need to see where we are at that point, though. A push towards Rockwall will push us closer to war and we need to ensure that we’re prepared.”
She nods, then smiles up at me. “It sounds like you’ve thought it through.”
Before I decide how to answer, Anza approaches with the others. I assign the partners and show them where they’ll be going, as I did with Saeren.
“Remember that your objective is just to hang the posters and observe the reactions,” Anza says. “It’s very important that you accurately assess whether they support us or not. I’d rather ignore the town than lose what support we have there fighting them.”
Despite Anza’s intentions, I make sure that Stella gives them easily-hidden weapons, just in case.
At nightfall, I stand atop the arch line and watch as Cillian and Arlo walk north in the shadows of the old highway, Aeroue and Estok head northeast with no path to follow, then turn and watch Saeren and Adamyna walk southeast.
I second guess whether I should have sent Saeren, though I admit fully that the motivations are purely selfish. It’s probably the better choice. My focus needs to be on our fight; there
will be time for all of that after.
I think then of Beth, my motivation to fight in the first place. I can’t let her go, yet; I still need her fire.
22
Peony
When Barley told me that, not only would I be going on a mission to purposefully get captured by Crow, I would be going to my hometown of Adelyn to do so, I laughed. It felt fitting.
She told me that Anza didn’t think I was up for it and asked me how I felt. Knowing that Anza doubted me made my stomach clench and I wondered if Barley told me because she cared and wanted to give me the option or if she did it so that I would feel compelled to prove Anza wrong. I guess the result was somewhere in between: I logically acknowledged that Anza wouldn’t think I was up for it because she hadn’t seen the work I had put in.
Thinking back to what Anza had seen encouraged me, helped me see that the Peony that couldn’t bear to face Crow was not the Peony that I am now. So I agreed to go, without answering Barley’s question directly.
I got to Adelyn just before sunrise, walked to the park that my parents used to take me to, and sat on a bench to wait. The days are cooling more each day as autumn passes, so I pulled my jacket close and let the memories come.
When the sun had risen high enough to shine down on the wooden play structure, a father and daughter approached. The girl, maybe five years old, ran ahead to play. The father bore a striking resemblance to my own and I found myself watching him instead as he talked to another man about fifty feet away. I wondered where my mom and dad ended up, or if they still live just down the road wondering where I am.
Before long, the streets began filling with Guardia soldiers. They started setting up across the street and I caught sight of Crow, then looked down at my arm where my jacket covered my number. I agreed to come, but what if I’m not up for this? What if Crow just kills me instead of capturing me like Barley expects?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, working to calm my fears. If I do nothing, Barley’s dead best friend’s son is in danger. I owe her too much to give up now and it’s too late for her to send someone else in my place. If I fail, he’s in danger and I’m dead. Success is the only way out.
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