Then, Now, Always

by Mona Shroff

  “Hema, he loves her and he’s going to fight for her. You better get used to the fact that she will be your daughter-in-law.”

  “Humph. We will see.”

  At the sound of his father’s optimism, Sam smiled to himself. He’s right. It’ll be fine. He’d go see Maya tomorrow and straighten all this out. But right now, he needed to silence the drums in his head.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  SAM

  New York, 2012

  SAM FIDGETED OUTSIDE the bakery, waiting, so he could catch Paige before she went in. He had to at least tell her that the cake designer she loved so much was his ex-girlfriend. He could break the news about Samantha when they got home. His parents would recognize Maya, too. But they hadn’t known she was pregnant back then any more than he had. He’d tell them about Samantha later, as well.

  Paige and his parents pulled up in a cab. They gazed around at the storefront, eyes wide, huge smiles on their faces. He walked over quickly, calling out to Paige as he approached.

  She turned to him, beaming. “Great, you beat us here! Oh, my goodness, Sam! Do you see this place? So quaint, so perfect.”

  “Yeah, it’s great.” He spared the store a cursory glance before he took her hands and planted a peck on her cheek. “Can I talk to you, quick?”

  “Sam, we’re late. It’ll have to wait.” She admired the sign and the floor-to-ceiling windows. “I love it! I just knew I would.”

  His mother took Paige’s hands from Sam’s as she presented her cheek to him for her kiss. Sam automatically obliged. “Let her go for a minute. We have important things to do.” She wrapped an arm around Paige, as if she really were her daughter, and guided her toward the bakery. Paige leaned into his mother’s embrace and continued her chatter.

  His father clapped Sam on the back. “How you doing, son?”

  “Great, Dad.” An automatic reply as he tried to get his fiancée’s attention while she continued to gush over the storefront. “Seriously, Paige. Just one minute.”

  She smiled at him as if he were a little boy. “I’ll give you all the minutes you want after this. I simply must have this woman make our cake.” With that, she followed his mother through the front door. Even the door chime made her giddy.

  His dad laughed as he guided Sam through the door. “Don’t get in the way of a woman and her wedding plans.”

  Sam shoved his sweaty hands into his pockets as he followed his father through the door and mumbled, “You have no idea.”

  They entered Sweet Nothings to the glorious aroma of baking cakes and fresh coffee. It was almost after hours, but Julie was still there. Paige approached her. “Hello. I’m Paige Doyle and I’m here to see—” she pulled out her phone “—Maya Rao. The appointment may be under the name of my art gallery since my assistant made the call.”

  Julie smiled at Sam in recognition. Paige was not paying attention to anything except the shop, so she failed to notice the sudden thickness in the air as Sam’s parents recognized Maya’s name. Sam could feel, more than see, his father turn to him. Sam focused on Paige.

  Before Julie could go back to get her boss, Maya came through the door from the kitchen. She’d changed into slacks and crisp chef’s whites, her hair bound in its ponytail. Sam could appreciate the fact that her smile seemed forced and that there was no real light in her eyes, but he doubted anyone else could see that. She walked around to the front of the display cases. “Hi, I’m Maya R—” She addressed Paige and froze as she caught sight of Sam’s father, then his mother, and finally, her jaw clenched as she laid eyes on Sam.

  “Hello, Maya, I’m Paige Doyle, and this—”

  “Maya Rao.” Sam’s father cut her off and advanced toward Maya with open arms. “I can’t believe my eyes.” His voice was filled with the same warmth it had always held for Maya. Sam couldn’t stop his own smile or the warm feeling he experienced as his father embraced Maya like a long-lost daughter. When his dad finally released her, there were tears in Maya’s eyes. “Let me look at you.” He held her at arm’s length, but didn’t let her go. “How have you been all these years?”

  Maya brushed her tears aside, a love-filled smile taking over her face. “I’m doing just fine, Uncle, thanks.”

  Sam’s father shook his head at her, in that way that older men do when they’ve seen something unique. He turned to address his wife. “Hema, what a small world it is.”

  Sam’s mother stood firmly beside a very bewildered Paige, her lips in a line. “True. Who would have thought it would be Maya making Sam’s wedding cake?”

  Sam curbed his instinct to reprimand his mother for her coldness. She had never been fond of his dating Maya, but he wasn’t dating her now. Once out of Sam’s father’s embrace, Maya’s body stiffened, and she put distance between her and Sam’s family.

  Paige spoke up. “Umm, what’s going on here?” She glanced back at Maya, then looked from Sam’s father to his mother, before finally settling her bewildered gaze on Sam.

  “Well, Paige.” Sam approached her, taking her hands in his. He absently fingered her engagement ring as he looked her in the eye. “This is what I was trying to tell you before we came in. Maya and I dated briefly when I was in law school.”

  Maya flinched behind Paige. Sam avoided her eyes.

  Paige freed herself from Sam’s hands and turned to face Maya. “This is that Maya?”

  Maya squared her shoulders and smiled widely. “Well, yeah, Sam and I dated—but it was a long time ago, and we were basically children.” Maya dismissed their entire relationship with a wave of her hand. Not the first time she’d done that. “That’s in the past and I really do have some wonderful ideas—”

  “I’m sorry, but could you excuse me one moment?” Paige turned back to Sam. “Your mom and dad are clearly surprised. But you don’t seem to be. How did you know before we walked in that this shop was hers?”

  Before Sam could speak, a young girl burst through the door from the kitchen, carrying a tray full of cake samples. “Here are the samples you asked for, Mom.”

  Sam’s stomach hit the ground as Samantha took in Paige and his parents. Her gaze landed on Sam and she lit up. Any other time, Sam would have relished the joy on her face. “Hey, Dad. Oh my God! Is Mom making your wedding cake?”

  “Dad?” Just when Sam didn’t think Paige’s eyes could get much bigger, they did.

  “Sammy?” His father’s soft voice was riddled with confusion.

  His mother said nothing. Her eyes were fixed on Maya. Maya, in turn, was completely focused on her daughter.

  Paige narrowed her eyes in Samantha’s direction. “Wait, you’re that new intern...” She turned back to Sam, fire in her eyes. “You told me she was your intern! What’s going on here?”

  “First, I want you to know, that I didn’t know myself until two weeks ago.”

  “Are you—are you saying she’s really your daughter?” Paige spit out the last word.

  “Yes.” He knew he had hurt her by keeping the secret, but there was nothing he could say right now to fix that.

  “Why did you lie to me when I met her?” Paige’s voice rose.

  “I was still trying to figure all this out, trying to get answers. I didn’t know what to tell you.” Sam bored his gaze into her, silently imploring her to believe him. “My parents are finding out right now, too.”

  Paige faced Sam’s father.

  “He’s telling the truth. Hema and I are hearing this for the first time, just like you. Isn’t that right, Hema?” He looked at his wife. She allowed a stiff nod, and a small smile. “And if Sammy says he found out two weeks ago, then he found out two weeks ago. Though when he was going to share this with the rest of us is a mystery.”

  Samantha’s angry glare burned into Sam, and he turned away from her, only to face the question and doubt on Paige’s face. Maya had taken more than a few steps back, and
currently appeared to be trying to melt into a wall behind Paige. He tried to ignore her. “Paige, I haven’t seen Maya in over sixteen years. She approached me two weeks ago, out of the blue, for legal help with Samantha.”

  “What gall!” His mother had finally found her voice.

  “Mom!” Sam silenced her and returned to his fiancée. “When I found out Samantha was mine, I couldn’t refuse.”

  “So you knew Maya was pregnant and you left her?”

  “No, I never knew she was pregnant.” He shot a glare at Maya.

  Paige glanced at Maya over her shoulder and then redirected her gaze back at Sam. “How do you know her daughter is yours?”

  Sam furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? Of course she’s mine.”

  “You did a paternity test?”

  “No.” He caught Maya’s eye, and images of Samantha winning prizes, playing soccer and growing up flashed before him. “But maybe you’re right,” he said, still focused on Maya, his hands balled into fists. The possibility that she could have been with someone else while she was with him was nauseating, even after all this time. But the image of Samantha at her father-daughter dance with someone else broke his heart in a whole other way. “It might be wise to have some documentation on file for when this eventually goes public, when I run for Congress. Make sure she’s mine.” In the same instant it took Sam to regret the wound he created in Maya’s eyes, he heard the cake platter crash to the floor behind him, as Samantha stormed off.

  He closed his eyes and swore under his breath before calling out her name, but it was too late to take the words back. They were floating around in the air around them, affecting each person uniquely. The pain in Maya’s eyes cut him, but the fact that he’d hurt Samantha had him undone. He stepped around the cake splatter and was through the door before Maya caught up to him.

  “Leave her alone,” Maya growled at him. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  MAYA

  New York, 2012

  SAM SWIVELED BACK to Maya. “Don’t I think I have done enough? You were the one with the big secret!” He moved closer to her, his voice rising, his angry heat hitting her in waves. “Don’t you dare tell me I’ve done ‘enough’! Should I have told my fiancée and parents sooner? Probably—but really, it’s only been two weeks. You kept this secret for sixteen years! And you never would have told me except for that fact that you needed something.”

  The pain in his face hit Maya harder than his angry insinuation that Samantha wasn’t his. Her sympathy and guilt must have shown, because he softened. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I need to fix this. So either help me, or get out of my way.”

  Sam marched through the back of the shop, his overcoat flailing behind him like a cape, and out the back door. Maya hurried to keep up with his long strides. She found him pounding on the outside door to her apartment, calling Samantha’s name and her gut instantly went back to the last time she heard him pound a door. The memory made her nauseous.

  “Damn!” He kicked the brick next to the door.

  “If you’re done throwing a fit...” Maya dangled the key and waited for him to step aside.

  She barely had the door open before he brushed by her and stopped. He was close enough for her to feel the heat from his body and to take in traces of his cologne. She stepped back.

  “Thanks.” He turned and took the steps up two at a time until he reached her apartment. He waited for her to reach the top.

  Maya shrugged as she approached him. “Don’t thank me. You haven’t experienced a teenage fit yet.”

  This elicited a small smile. “Niki used to throw really good ones.”

  At the mention of her young charge’s name, Maya was filled with shame and regret, and she looked away from Sam again. She opened the door to her apartment, and he entered, slipping off his shoes once more, and casually tossing his overcoat on the same armchair. He headed straight for the bedroom with the closed door and knocked.

  “Go away, Mom. I’m fine.” Samantha’s voice was thick with tears.

  “It’s not Mom.” Sam pressed his lips together.

  “Mom? Mom? Are you out there?” She sounded like she did when she was little.

  Maya moved closer to the door. “Yes.”

  “Tell Mr. Hutcherson we appreciate his help, but we no longer need his services.” And there was the teenage sass.

  The depth of pain on Sam’s face was so unexpected, so real, Maya actually felt sorry for him. He never could hide his feelings. She spoke again to the door. “Can you at least talk to him?”

  Silence.

  “Samantha?” Sam’s voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat and leaned in toward the door with his head bowed. “I did promise that I would tell Paige about you, and I didn’t. I’m sorry. It’s not because I’m embarrassed about you or that I don’t want you—I do. I really do. I just wanted to keep you to myself for a bit. I mean, I missed fifteen years of your life.” He cut his eyes to Maya and she flinched. “In any case, I should’ve told her.” He leaned his shoulder against the door and faced Maya. “And I don’t really want that paternity test.”

  Maya raised her eyebrows. Of course he didn’t. The Sam she had known...well, the Sam she had known sixteen years ago wouldn’t have needed it, either. Good to know some things hadn’t changed.

  He pressed his forehead against the door. “Samantha?”

  More silence.

  He pushed his hand against the door and slowly pushed himself upright. He ran his fingers through his hair, avoiding Maya’s gaze. By the time he looked at her again, his jaw was set, but his sadness was reflected in the set of his mouth and in the dimness in his eyes. “Well, I guess you were right to keep her from me, considering it took me all of two weeks to mess it up.”

  Maya couldn’t help it. She wanted to be angry with him for agreeing to the paternity test, especially in front of Samantha. But the man standing in front of her was not a would-be congressman trying to protect himself. He was a man who just found out he was a father and was being shot down for things he’d said in anger and pain. Much of which she had caused.

  “She’ll come around.” Maya smiled. “Trust me. She’s stubborn and she’s a teenager. A difficult combination.”

  “I don’t know. I mean, she’s right to be angry.”

  The coin weighed heavy in her pocket. “So are you.” She couldn’t look at him.

  Sam shrugged. “Yeah, well. I’ll deal with that later.” He glanced back at the door. “Mind if I wait it out a bit?”

  “Sure.” Maya slid down the wall on the side of the door and sat on the floor. “Get comfy.”

  Sam took off his suit jacket and slid down his wall, and they sat on either side of the closed door. He loosened his tie and rolled up his shirtsleeves, all the while avoiding Maya’s gaze.

  “It was nice to see your dad.” Maya grinned at Sam. One beat too many passed before she hastily added, “And your mom.”

  This did not go unnoticed. “It’s okay. I know she wasn’t as kind to you as she should’ve been.”

  Her whole body tensed. What did he know? What had his mother said to him? “What do you mean?”

  Sam just stared at her, a question on his face. “You know... I never liked the way she talked to you—even though I told her—” Sam broke eye contact. “Anyway, seems as though sixteen years didn’t change anything. But not to worry, I will be having a chat with her. Samantha is her grandchild. She’ll have to accept that.” He threw his head back against the wall. “Assuming our daughter ever speaks to me again.”

  At the words our daughter, a thrill blazed through Maya before she could stop it. There was no need to get excited about Sam sharing something with her—even if it was their daughter. Shit. She couldn’t help it.

  “I always thought she just didn’t like the fact that you trie
d to change your life plans while we were together.” But Maya knew that, in truth, Hema-auntie had never thought Maya was good enough for Sam.

  Sam remained silent.

  “But you must’ve really wanted the politics, since here you are.”

  “It’s been a long time. Things change. People change.” Sam’s voice roughened. “She was diagnosed with cancer.”

  “What? When?” Maya sat upright. She might not have been a fan of Hema’s, but she certainly didn’t wish her ill.

  “Right at the end of...” His voice trailed off, but Maya heard him. “Right after you left.” He paused and cleared his throat. “She’s fine now.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Maya paused. “I mean I’m sorry she had cancer, not that she’s fine now.”

  Sam chuckled, an unexpected low rumble that released the tension building in the air around them. “I know what you meant.”

  Maya met his eyes and for the first time, she saw something other than pain and anger. She was drawn into him and was startled at the sound of the door opening. Before she could say anything, Sam was on his feet.

  Samantha opened the door, but then stomped back into her room. She grunted as she turned and plopped down on her bed. She folded her arms across her chest and pointedly faced away from Sam, looking out the window.

  Sam glanced at Maya, wide-eyed, eyebrows raised, clearly out of his element, his experiences with Niki notwithstanding. She jutted her chin toward Samantha in encouragement. He pressed his lips together and stepped into the room, as wary as if he were stepping into an unfriendly courtroom.

  The room was small, and he instantly filled it with his broad shoulders and long legs. He straddled the desk chair and rested his arms on its back, facing her. Maya took her spot again, seated outside the door.

  Silence. Then both father and daughter spoke at the same time.

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “Why didn’t you go after her?”