by E. M. Moore
We’re quiet as Dad drives me down the mountain to Rockport. My mind’s on Ryan, and if I weren’t with my dad, I’d be texting him right now to see if he’s okay. When we hit the city limits, Dad says, “I’m sure he’ll be fine.” I think he’s saying it more for himself than for me.
“I’m sure he will,” I say. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. My cast is hot today, and underneath, the skin is itchy. “I think it was just a little too overwhelming for him. There’s been a lot of changes lately.” My dad turns to look at me. “Not that they’re not good changes,” I tack on. “It’s just. I don’t know. It’s probably a lot. And I don’t think Ryan is used to getting nice things like that.”
“Did he tell you this?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I haven’t really talked to him about any of it, I was just saying maybe that’s why he said he couldn’t accept it. Maybe he thinks you’re doing too much.”
My dad rubs his chin, then makes the right-hand turn into the school. He pulls up to the main doors before stopping. “Maybe I overstepped.”
I reach my hand out to touch his forearm. “I don’t think it’s that, Dad. Maybe Ryan’s the kind of kid that wants to earn his stuff. Maybe just ask him what it will take to get him to accept it. Maybe he wants to work it off, so he doesn’t feel like he owes you something.”
I’m really just talking out of my ass, but I’m putting myself in Ryan’s shoes and trying to think what I would feel if my mom all of a sudden found an ultra-rich boyfriend who kept buying me things. It seems like it would be fun, but I don’t know. I think it would make me feel squirmy. Maybe that’s what Ryan’s feeling right now. He’s also probably worried about what I think. In the beginning, I was pretty adamant that I wasn’t happy about this situation.
My dad lays his hand over mine. “Maybe so. I’ll talk to him.” He pats my hand. “Have a good first day. Keep in touch so I know if you have a ride home or not.”
“I’m sure I can find a ride, Dad. Don’t worry about it.”
With that, I use my good hand to open the car door and step out. When I do, Hayes is right there. My dad doesn’t side eye him as much anymore. I don’t know if it’s because he’s getting used to his presence, or if it’s because he hasn’t seen us hold hands in a while. Hayes actually waits until my dad pulls out of the parking lot to place his arm around my shoulder. “Ryan texted me to make sure you were okay.”
I want to roll my eyes. Of course, he did. “Did Ryan tell you if he was okay?”
Hayes cocks his head at me. “He didn’t mention that, no. Why? Is something wrong?”
I just shrug in answer. Maybe Ryan doesn’t want anyone knowing what’s going on, and it’s not like I can answer for him anyway. I honestly thought he would be happy about the car. I certainly didn’t think he’d react like that.
When Hayes realizes I’m not going to say anything, he says, “I missed you yesterday.”
My cheeks heat. Who would have thought the tall, seemingly indifferent one could be so sweet?
I bite down on my lip to keep from smiling too much. Up ahead, a girl squeals, which draws my attention that way. The doors to the school loom in front of us. It reminds me how much I went through last school year. The Baller Bitches, the Ballers themselves when they wanted to torment me, or maybe most of all, when they completely ignored me like I didn’t even exist even though I was forced in front of them every day during basketball season.
My heart gallops in my chest. Nerves fire inside me. Hayes’s presence definitely helps. I know no one will fuck with me while he’s at my side, and if they do—because they have a death wish or something—he’ll make sure everything will end fine.
There’s just one wild card though: Lake. I don’t know how he’s going to react in school today. Will he target me? Will he leave me alone? And what role will my Ballers play in all of this? I know they’re on my side now. Of that, I don’t have any doubt, but I worry about them, too, now that they’ve sided with me. What’s in store for them when we walk through those doors? Will the kings of the school fall?
A hand slides coolly around my injured arm. I start for a moment before I hear Dawn’s voice in my ear. “Chin up, babe. Look who you’re walking into school with.”
She’s not talking about herself. She’s talking about Hayes. Dawn’s pretty much Team Hayes at this point since I’ve gone into more detail about everything. She knows I’m pretty much seeing all of them, and she’s wondering when the hell that’s going to blow up in my face.
I’m hoping never. The Ballers said they like to share. I hope they really meant it.
David’s on her other side. He and Hayes give each other the what’s up nod without exchanging words.
I stare back at the doors, and we move forward. Even with just the four of us here, I feel calmer about taking that first step into school. I also know there’s at least Sloan and Alec somewhere in these halls that have my back now too. When, or if, Ryan shows up, he’ll be there for me as well. It’s not Dawn and I against RHS anymore.
When we walk inside, I swear it’s like a movie. Fog recedes, the halls go quiet. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but people notice, and it is dramatic. One girl does a doubletake as Hayes slides his arm around me, then leans over and kisses the side of my head. A few guys look me up and down. One of them is a guy who asked me to the homecoming dance last year as a joke because the Ballers told him to.
It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t think people understand what it’s like to have someone who used to not be on your side, be on your side now. I feel like the fucking queen of RHS as I walk toward my locker, Hayes nodding at others, and some of our teammates saying what’s up.
They’re looking now. They’re paying attention. I’m not just another face in the hall they were mind warped into hating.
When we get to my locker, Sloan’s there. He’s got his eye-catching smirk on his face as he pushes away from the wall. He gives Hayes knuckles, and then turns his full attention toward me. “What’s up, Daddy’s Girl?”
I feel alive. I feel on fire. The flirtatious look on his face, the sparkling in his eyes just does something to me. When he stops in front of me, I walk right up to him and move up to my tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. It’s Sloan who takes it too far though. Not that I should be surprised. A few whistles sound as he devours my lips like he’s been starving for days and I’m the only sustenance he needs to quench his hunger.
We pull away, finally, but Sloan doesn’t let me go. He slides his fingers through my hair and leans toward my ear. “My fucking God, Tessa. It’s not nice to give me a boner this early in the morning. Now I’ll be thinking about you all day.”
“You weren’t thinking about me already?” I tease.
He groans, and the hair on the back of my neck stands at attention. “Torture…”
The word careens into my brain, stalling there. It’s exactly what Ryan told me yesterday. They’re right. This is all pure torture.
Behind us, Dawn says, “Well, that’s a way to make an entrance.”
I smile and bite down on my lower lip.
“Come on, Bitch,” she says, poking me in the side. “We have to get to class.”
The great thing about this year: During every period, at least Dawn or one of my Ballers is in class with me. I’m not alone anymore.
8
Since we’re Seniors, we can eat outside on the school grounds for lunch this year. We take advantage, snagging a picnic table around the back of the building. I’ve yet to have a Lake sighting all day, which is making me more confident as the hours of school pass by at a glacial pace. People talk to me during classes, asking me about my arm. The same ones who didn’t give a shit about me last year are acting all concerned about how it’s going to affect basketball.
I also don’t see Ryan until lunch. The class I have with him isn’t until the latter half of the day, so when he shows up, looking every bit his normal self, I’m only partially shocked. He does avoid my gaze though
, which makes me nervous. I hope to hell he’s not mad at me because my dad wanted to buy him a car. I keep trying to catch his eye, but he doesn’t give in. Dawn and David eat lunch with us, so when we’re not talking basketball, we’re talking about football with David. Well, the guys are talking about basketball and football. Dawn, who looked like she was going to keel over from boredom, snagged me in a conversation about her parents grounding her because she stayed out too late with David one night this last week.
While she’s complaining about her lack of privacy being unfair, one word catches my attention. Maybe it wouldn’t have, but I’m pretty sure Ryan just said the words “party” and “my house” in the same sentence. I flick my gaze toward him. He’s talking with David, telling him to invite his teammates. I know Dawn’s talking to me at the same time, but I interrupt her, “Wait. What’s going on?”
Ryan doesn’t look at me at first. I swear Hayes has my moods dialed in because he moves closer to me on the bench. Sloan’s eyes go wide like he’s not touching that question with a ten-foot pole. It’s Alec who says, “Party at…um, Ryan’s house this weekend.”
“Oh,” I say, taken aback. That’s exactly what I thought he said. Ryan’s house is my dad’s house, though, and I’ve never thought about throwing a party at my house. Well, one because I used to go to Broadwell, and we didn’t really throw parties like that. Or maybe I’m all wrong. Maybe he’s not talking about a high school party the way I’m thinking he means a high school party. “What kind of party?”
Ryan finally shifts in his seat to turn toward me. “My mom and your dad are going away this weekend. Something about some press thing your dad has to do for his scholarship fund.”
My face heats. No one told me about this.
“He just found out this morning,” Ryan tacks on quickly.
I can’t tell why I’m so pissed. Is it because he’s planning a party at my dad’s house when I never had the gall to do something like that? Or is it because this is the first I’m hearing about it? The more I think about it, there’s another reason mixed in there too. Not only do I have to make nice with some of these jackasses in school even though they treated me like shit last year, I also have to make nice with them in my dad’s house. “So, you’re inviting a lot of people?”
He snickers like I’m being ridiculous. “It’s a party, Tessa. Of course I’m inviting a lot of people.”
I push my tray away. “Oh, sorry. I’ve never been to a party before, you know, since I was a social fucking pariah last year because of you guys, so excuse me if I don’t understand how this whole thing works.”
His eyes blaze. I’ve struck a chord with him, but I don’t care. Why is it always a back and forth with Ryan and me? Why can’t he just be the same guy he was in the bathroom last night?
Dawn snickers next to me. I’ve no doubt she loved every single thing about what I just said. She might dislike Ryan the most. He is the one who made the creed that I was nothing my first day here last year.
Ryan turns away, saying nothing. His jaw ticks, but there’s no way he’s as angry with me as I am at him. He should’ve said something to me. He should’ve come to talk to me when he got to school considering how he left things earlier. Instead, he comes waltzing into school like everything is fine. And don’t get me started on the fact that he, again, knew what my dad’s plans were before me.
“Let’s go for a walk,” Dawn says, jerking her head away from the picnic table.
I get up with her, and Hayes immediately gets up too.
“Settle down, Ice Man,” she says playfully. “I got her.”
He hesitates. I can tell he really wants to come with us, but when I look down at the table, he’s not even done with his meal yet. I put my hand on his shoulder. “Finish eating. I’ll be fine.”
Dawn and I walk away, and when I turn to look, no one’s following us, though Hayes still isn’t eating, his glare is just burrowing a hole into our backs.
“Let’s go inside,” I tell her. I know he’ll keep looking at us as long as we’re within eyesight.
She pulls the side door of the school open, and we go inside. “What is his fucking problem?” Dawn asks straight away. “You keep saying you kissed at camp, but I don’t see it. He might not be picking on you right now, but he also doesn’t look like he likes you very much. And what kind of an asshole just declares that he’s having a party in your dad’s house? Holy shit. The nerve of him.”
“I guess it’s his house now, too.” She’s pretty much said everything I was thinking, but she says it with so much ferocity that I realize some of it is unfounded, or maybe I just have this weird thing where I like to stick up for Ryan Linc even when I’m mad at him.
“So,” Dawn says right away. “He could have fucking told you what his plans were.”
She does have a point there, but it’s not like I’d seen him after this morning either. Instead of saying that, I just bite the inside of my cheek and look away. Ryan said we had shit to work out, and he wasn’t fucking wrong. We need to be having that conversation sooner rather than later before he pisses me off at school again in front of the whole table.
I stop short when I realize where she’s leading me. She turns back around and looks over her shoulder. “Come on, I need a pudding. I’m internalizing your stress and need chocolate.”
I lift an eyebrow at her. “You’re internalizing my stress?”
“Don’t judge me,” she says. “I just need pudding, okay?”
I roll my eyes but follow her into the crowded lunchroom anyway. She heads right to the service line, grabs one chocolate pudding, and when we’re waiting in line to pay for it, I hear screams of laughter coming from the middle of the room. When I turn, I don’t see anything at first, but then the crowd parts a little. I move forward, curious because people are dying laughing at this point. Then I see it. A blow-up doll. But not just any blow-up doll. This one is wearing one of my basketball jerseys.
My jaw clamps down as I see Rhonda taking the hands of the doll and rubbing them all over its own chest. “Oooh,” she shouts with feigned innocence. “You guys are getting me so hot.”
My fucking jersey.
I see red.
I move forward, Dawn calling my name behind me. I push past people until I’m in the middle of the crowd that’s gathered around the blow-up doll scene. Rhonda slowly turns. Her eyes are positively glacial as she appraises me. To her right sits Lake, his face beet red with laughter. Next to him is his kid brother at the lunch table the Ballers shared last year. Everything is the same except four out of the five Ballers aren’t there. There are girls at the table, too, hanging off the guys who are sitting there now. Even River has one I don’t recognize, so I’m sure it’s the prettiest girl from his Freshman class judging by her outfit and attention to makeup.
“Oh, you’re here,” Rhonda says. She moves the blow-up doll to the table next to Lake. She turns the doll’s head to stare at me. “Good. Because I forgot, just how many dicks are you fucking right now?”
She smooshes the doll’s head into the table. There are three hot dogs lined up in front of the doll, complete with ketchup and mustard. Rhonda pushes her face into each one, moving it around until there’s ketchup and mustard all over the doll’s face.
“I say three, but Lake thinks four.” She lowers her voice to a French whisper. “I don’t think Ryan’s going anywhere near your cunt. He’s already had the best,” she winks.
Everything happens so fast; it doesn’t dawn on me to retaliate until I’m already moving. I launch myself at her. Her eyes widen until I manage to push her away with my good hand and grab the doll from her fingers. I yank my jersey from its plastic body and shove the doll back at her.
I’m so fucking furious I’m shaking. “You’re just sad,” I say. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you at all. You should go back to being a raving bitch.”
She stalks toward me. Dawn’s not having any of that though. She moves forward, stepping just enough in front of m
e to shield me from whatever wrath Rhonda was planning.
“You think I’m jealous?” Rhonda asks. “You forget I’ve had all of them before. Have fun with my sloppy seconds. None of them are worth—”
“Watch it,” Lake says from behind her.
My eyebrows rise. I glare just behind her at Lake who’s lounging at the table now like nothing big is happening. Like every day someone brings a blow-up doll into the school and pretends to eat dick with it.
Rhonda shakes his warning off. “They’ll come back eventually.”
With a grin, I step forward, inching Dawn to do the same. “I don’t think they will. There’s one difference between you and me. They had to work for it with me. They don’t have to work for it with you.”
A loud laugh erupts from my right. Rhonda looks over and narrows her eyes. I refuse to look away from her though. I know the laugh belongs to a female, but I don’t know who it is yet.
The skin underneath my cast itches. Part of it’s having the damn cast on and part of it is because I really want to punch her in her smug little face. The problem is, doing that would only hold me back from my goals.
“Have fun with your blow-up doll,” Dawn says, then she turns. I follow her lead and leave with her.
The lunch crowd parts for us as we walk away. When I look over my other shoulder, I see Christie there. She nods at me, and I smile at her. She must’ve been the one to laugh at little miss bitch face.
When we leave the cafeteria, the side door opens, and the Ballers walk in. They take one look at me and scowls form on their faces. “What happened to you?” Alec asks, rushing forward. His gaze drops to my shirt. When I look down, I realize I’ve gotten ketchup and mustard all over me. Shit.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
I look over at Christie. “Thanks for that in there. I’ll see you around.”