by E. M. Moore
She smiles to herself, then gets up. I turn away from the room, travel all the way through the house, and then head outside. Maybe my mother isn’t as bad off as I imagined she would be. I hope not. My mother’s still young and pretty. She could totally rock being single if she wanted to.
I take a deep breath, eyeing my father’s new mailbox down the street and imagining the set of keys that are waiting for me just inside this new house. Surprisingly, I’m not having that difficult of a time talking myself into going there this afternoon. On my way, I text all the Ballers back and then slip my phone back into my pocket before I walk up the driveway to my dad’s house.
6
Ryan’s mom ushers me out onto the pool patio when I get inside. First, she admonished me about ringing the doorbell though. I’m still worrying over my lip on whether I should’ve just walked inside when I see Ryan lying out by the pool, his trunks low on his waist.
He pulls his arm away from where it was covering his eyes. When he sees it’s me, he sits up. “Hey.”
“Um, hey,” I say.
The late summer weather still holds heat, so where I’m standing in the full rays of the sun, I feel the first trickle of sweat start down my back. To the left, I notice my father has bought a brand new grill. It’s huge and fancy, if a grill can be fancy. Well, if any grill can be fancy, it’s this one.
“You decided to come over after all?”
“I just wanted to see what my mom’s plans were,” I tell him, walking over to sit in the lounger next to him. Their pool area is outside, so unless they enclose it, they won’t have full use of it all year.
His face shadows over. “How’s she doing?”
“Pretty good, I think,” I tell him, offering him a small smile. I’m still kind of amazed that he thinks about my mother at all. That’s just a testament to the true person Ryan really is. I know he hides it really well sometimes, but he is a good guy. Maybe underneath a chipped suit of armor and a bad attitude, but he’s good. I always thought so, and that’s probably why I never gave up on him, even after he did all those things to me. I cock my head toward the grill. “What’s on the menu?”
“Your dad said something about chicken…”
My stomach rumbles instantaneously. My dad’s a tremendous griller. “You’re in for a treat.”
“So he keeps saying,” Ryan says.
I laugh at that. My dad’s never been shy about letting other people know what he excels in. “How was your night at the new house?” I ask. I’m pretty sure last night was the first night they slept in it. Ryan’s mom’s house is currently on the market, and I heard my dad say they were wondering if they should put any more money into it to entice a buyer or just sell as-is.
“Big,” he says.
“Big?”
His eyes widen. “Did you see the size of my room? I’m pretty sure it’s three times the size of the room I grew up in.” He shakes his head for a moment. “It’s quiet up here, too. I’m used to hearing street noise and cars driving by at all hours of the night, but I didn’t hear anything until the birds woke up this morning.”
I’ve talked myself right into an awkward conversation. “That’s good,” I say, because I have zero clue what to say next.
“Are you nervous about school tomorrow?” he asks.
I shake my head. There was a time when I fretted over what might happen, but that’s all gone now. “Nah, I have you guys.”
His gray eyes grasp onto my own. “I told your dad I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, and I meant it.”
“Do you think Lake…do you think he’s going to try to talk to you guys tomorrow?”
Ryan looks away, his jaw tightening. “I only heard from him a couple of times. I know he’s not happy about us taking your side, but I don’t think he’s going to try to take it out on you.” He trails off. His words dejected almost despite what he’s saying.
“You don’t think he’s going to take it out on me, but you’re worried about something else?”
He lies back in the chair again, throwing an arm over his face. He’s trying to show me that he’s relaxed, but I don’t think he is. Ryan’s ever the Point Guard, the leading man. He worries, he strategizes, he plans. “I think we’re fine. And if we’re not, I think we know exactly how to handle it.”
“I really need you to promise that you’ll let me in on everything that’s going on, Ryan, okay? I don’t want to be blindsided.”
He peeks out from underneath his arm. He just stares at me, but he doesn’t have a chance to say anything because my dad comes out of the sliding glass door and claps his hands. “Here we go. About to fire the grill up.”
Despite the fact that I’m at a different house and that I’m sitting next to Ryan Linc, this feels natural, and I’m actually looking forward to eating with them.
I stay next to Ryan, talking off and on while my dad cooks, and Leslie sets the patio table. When they call us to dinner, Ryan and I sit right next to one another while my dad and Leslie sit across from us. We dig in and the chicken tastes exactly as I remember. I can’t help but moan. “Mmm, thanks for inviting me over, Dad.”
“You’re always welcome here,” Leslie says.
I try to smile for her, but my dad’s doing plenty of that already.
“It’s too bad about your cast, you could’ve gone swimming with Ryan today.”
A piece of chicken almost lodges in my throat. I know she’s saying it innocently, I do, but I can’t help but think that it’s not the lack of swimming that’s “too bad,” it’s the fact that I can’t play ball.
“I didn’t want to swim today anyway,” Ryan says.
I feel his hand on my leg, and I almost jump at the contact, but make myself relax when I realize that he’s touching me on the downlow. He squeezes my thigh until I look over at him. He gives me a small smile that I think is supposed to be an apology for his mother’s careless choice of words.
I nod, then look toward my dad and Leslie again. “Are you guys almost unpacked?” I ask, just trying to make conversation.
“Close,” my dad says. Afterward, Leslie launches into a whole spiel about everything they have left to do. I can imagine changing a whole house is hard. She gives my dad a list of three things he has to remember to do, like call someone to set up an appointment to clean the pool in a few weeks and get someone to fix the leaking faucet upstairs.
My dad and I exchange a smile like we used to when Mom was rattling off about something. I do it without hesitation, but when I focus on my food again, my stomach drops. It just felt like I replaced my mom in that moment, and I don’t like that feeling at all.
I’m quiet for the rest of lunch, and I’m pretty sure it’s only Ryan that realizes. He doesn’t have his hand on my leg anymore, but I can feel his eyes on me until Leslie starts clearing the dishes after we’re finished. I pick up my glass of iced tea to bring to my lips. Because my mind is pre-occupied and there’s copious amounts of sweat currently running down the glass, it slips through my fingers and lands upright on my lap. That doesn’t keep the tea from sloshing all over my shirt though. “Shit,” I grumble, before placing the now only quarter full glass of tea back on the table.
Ryan’s mom looks over. “You should put something on that so it doesn’t stain.” I push my chair back to head inside. “If you don’t want to listen to the constant dripping of the sink, I suggest you use the upstairs bathroom.”
I smile to myself, then head through the sliding glass door, past the living area, then to the fancy staircase. I don’t remember Dad showing me where the bathroom was on the second floor, but it’s at the end of the hall past Ryan’s room. I kick the door shut behind me and then whip my shirt off to run it under hot water, which isn’t exactly easy to do when I only have one hand that can get wet.
I’m squeezing the water out when I hear the door handle turn to my left. “I’m in here,” I say.
The door opens anyway. I’m just about to cover myself up when Ryan slips inside, shutti
ng the door behind him. “I know.”
My shirt, completely forgotten, drops to the counter. I don’t even think to cover up because Ryan’s seen me in the freaking shower naked for crying out loud. “W-what are you doing?”
“Making sure you’re okay. You got quiet.”
I lift my chin in the air. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, then maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you alone.”
A flush surges over me. I feel it most in my upper chest. It’s like my skin is burning just under the surface. With my shirt off, I’m sure he has a full view of the physical reaction his words give me.
“Are you going to ask me how I’m doing?”
“Um…” I hesitate. His gaze is narrowed, and I feel like he’s setting me up for something. “How are you doing?”
He stalks forward. His gaze rakes over me, stopping on my chest before finally moving to my face. “It’s torture being near you.” He pins me against the sink but grabs me under the thighs and lifts me onto the countertop in one easy motion. He spreads my legs and steps inside. He keeps his hands on either side of me on the counter, leaning in until we’re face-to-face. He’s so close I can see the emotion swirling in his gray eyes. “I wish everyone else would just disappear. I want you on my lap. I want you in my bed. I want you pressed against me.”
My mouth dries. I just sit there staring at him, my heart beating rapidly in my chest like it’s trying to catch up to the tornado of emotions inside me. He’s watching me, waiting for me to speak, I think, but I can’t concentrate on anything except for the quickly burning fire inside me and the fact that my panties are currently damp, but there are two major problems: my dad and his mom. They’re just downstairs. They’re probably waiting for us to come back down.
“Spend the night tonight,” Ryan says. He tilts his pelvis forward, so I can feel his erection. “You asked me earlier how I slept last night. Terrible. Terrible because I know you could be in the room across from me, but instead, you’re not. I think about how I could be buried inside you, but instead, I’m wondering which one of the other guys is seeing you at that moment. Are they buried inside you? Are you calling their name?”
I’m drunk. His words. His dick pressed in just the right place makes me feel like I’m head over heels. But for some reason, all I can focus on is the fact that he thinks I’ve had sex with the others. “I haven’t had sex with any of the others,” I tell him, my voice coming out in breathy wisps.
He groans and presses his hips forward again. This time I can’t help it, I have to react. My hands come up, slide around his back and press into him as I moan. Already, I’m more turned on than I ever was with my ex when we discussed sex. It’s kind of scary. I don’t know how I’m going to react in bed with Alec, Ryan, Sloan, and Hayes. From what I’ve done with them so far, I know I’m so going to enjoy whatever happens. I’m going to love it. I’m going to want it all the time. I can already picture myself begging Ryan for more.
And it scares me.
“Spend the night.”
I swallow. “I can’t, Ryan.”
He blinks at me, like he can’t understand why I wouldn’t want hours of alone time in his room sequestered away from both our parents. Or wrapped up in his sheets until the early rays of morning.
“Don’t get me wrong, I fucking want to,” I breathe. “I just can’t yet, or maybe not ever.” Everything else comes rushing back to me. “I only have one bedroom, Ryan, and that’s at my house. I don’t know that I belong here.”
He moves away from me, creating some space between us. He reaches up to run his fingers through my hair. “You can sleep in my room. You belong there.”
Oh fuck. He’s definitely making a case for this. But it’s just something I can’t do yet. Not until my mom gets situated. I can’t imagine what her reaction would be if I tell her I’m spending the night at Dad’s house tonight.
“Okay, better idea. I—”
“Ryan, honey, I need your help.”
Both Ryan and I twist our heads to look at the closed bathroom door. His mother’s voice sounded far away, still down the stairs, but there’s no way we should be in the bathroom together, and definitely not with my shirt off.
He turns toward me. His hands pull my hips forward on the sink as he darts forward, capturing my lips in a kiss. His kiss is bruising, almost punishing. It has all the pent-up torture he talked about, letting everything in those moments he felt when he couldn’t touch me, couldn’t kiss me, come out in this captive kiss that scrambles my brain. When his mother calls his name again, he pulls away. His pupils are dilated, huge black dots in a storm of gray. “Coming,” he calls back. He slowly straightens, adjusts the massive erection in his pants, and then spins away, leaving me on the countertop as he closes the door.
I fall back, my head clashing against the mirror and the faucet ramming straight into my back. Holy shit. I shudder in a breath, like with it, I can regain some sort of normalcy in my life instead of getting turned on by getting accosted in the bathroom by my dad’s girlfriend’s son. I shake those thoughts away though.
Ryan Linc was mine first.
He was always mine. Even when he made me believe he wasn’t.
7
Before I left his house the previous night, my dad pulled me aside and asked me to get to their house early the next morning. They’re giving Ryan his car right before school starts. It feels nice to be included in this. So, the next morning, I tell Mom Ryan is driving me to school instead of my dad, and I don’t want to be late. I give her a kiss on the cheek and then walk the little ways up the hill to their house, texting my dad that I’ll be there soon.
I hesitate near the door. His mom chastised me for just not walking in the previous day, so today, I walk in, but yell out, “I’m here,” as I do so. I don’t even know if anyone is waiting for me or not, but I walk in anyway. I hear dishes clanking in the kitchen, so I head that way and find Ryan and his mom there. Ryan’s eyebrows are raised when he sees me, but I just shrug. I’m sure they’ve told him I can’t drive myself to school anymore, so one of them is giving me a ride.
My dad comes in through the side door that leads out to the garage. He has a special glint to his eye this morning that makes me smile at him. The fact that he’s generous with his money is one of my favorite things about him. “Hey, Tess,” he says. “Ready for your first day of senior year?”
Maybe most teenagers are excited about the prospect of leaving high school, and I am, but maybe not for the same reasons. It’s not the end of anything at all. I still have four more years of college to get through after this year, and even though it is sort of exciting, there’s so much more for me to do that I’m not quite feeling the excitement this day should bring. I nod instead of saying all that though. I’m probably the only person not excited this morning; however, the thought of seeing my Ballers all day excites me. On the flip side, I’m also bound to see Lake at some point today, and no one wants that.
“Well, if you guys are ready…,” Dad says, “…let’s go.”
Ryan stands from the table, brushes his hands off, and then grabs his bag as we follow his mom and my dad out to the garage. When we step out, I see that my dad has opened the garage doors now. Light spills in, but instead of stopping at the other two cars in the garage, he keeps going. In front of me, Ryan hesitates.
“Come on,” Dad says, waving to us. “I thought you could drive this car today, Ryan.”
Ryan’s brows pull together. I can’t keep the smile from pulling my lips apart. When he looks over at me, though, I force my lips into a thin line and shrug again, pretending I don’t know what’s going on. I have no idea if I’m convincing or not, but when we walk out into the driveway, and I see an older, yet still relatively new Jeep Wrangler, with a huge red bow on it, my smile comes back. I watch Ryan for his reaction. He stops in his tracks. I keep moving, so I can look at his face. His eyes are wide. “What-what’s this?”
Leslie puts an arm around my dad. “Tim and I tho
ught you could use your own ride this year.” It’s clear she’s pleased. She’s beaming from ear-to-ear like a proud parent who’s so happy she could do this for her kid.
My stomach twists a little. The only thing she’s done is fuck my dad. I shake my head. That’s a petty thought. I really am okay with this.
Ryan looks over at me, then back at his mom and my dad. His face morphs into the marble-like, impenetrable skin that Ryan Linc likes to put on. “I can’t accept this.”
My mouth drops. My dad’s head rears back. “Of course you can. I bought it for you. —We bought it for you.”
Still, Ryan shakes his head, peeking at me from the corner of his eye. “It’s just…it’s not right. I appreciate it though.”
“Ryan,” I say. I start to move toward him, but he steps away.
“We got to get to school. Um…” he turns, looking for the other vehicles. He won’t even look at the Jeep anymore.
“What are you doing?” I ask. A flutter of nerves starts in my stomach. He won’t accept the vehicle because of me. At least, I think so.
“Ryan,” Leslie says. Her face has gone from super excited to the most disappointment I’ve ever seen from her. “It’s okay. You can accept this.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t.
She takes a step forward, and he takes a step back. “Ry.”
“Mom, please,” he says. Emotion colors his face. Eyes glassy, he looks away from everyone. He pulls his bookbag up on his shoulder and then walks coolly back into the house.
We all just watch him go until his mom goes running after him, sending my father an apologetic look. When they’re both gone, my dad’s shoulders deflate. He swallows, placing the keys he had outstretched in his hand on the hood. Looking up at me, he shrugs. “Let’s get you to school, Pumpkin.”
We both get in his SUV. He backs it out of the driveway and maneuvers around the barely used Jeep Wrangler in the driveway. It really is a nice car. It’s a dark green. The doors and top are currently off it. I know Jeep now has newer models, but for the shape this is in, I’m sure my dad got a good deal. Ha. Timothy “The Real Deal” Dale always gets a good deal.