by E. M. Moore
My dad is Lake’s dad, too.
I start shaking my head. I keep shaking my head until arms grip me from behind and pull me from the pool. Hayes holds me to him. The rest of the team who only came to party with their new teammates look awkwardly at one another like they don’t know what to do. A few of them ask me if I need anything, but Alec fields their questions. I hear a few people say, “That’s fucked up.”
It is, isn’t it? It’s fucked up. No one would just say that if they didn’t think it. Lake must really think he’s… Holy fuck. If my dad is his dad, we’re brother and sister.
I lurch forward, but Hayes has a steady hand on me. I won’t fall with him by my side.
All of Lake’s hatred suddenly makes sense. I have his life. He wasn’t fucking kidding. I have my dad, my house, the coaching skills since I was a little kid. I’ve seen where Lake lives, and I know of his father. It’s not a bad life, but it’s not mine. I came to RHS knowing I had a “better” life than most here. I knew I would have to break down the prejudices of having gone to a private academy and being the rich girl with the Mustang instead of the crappy first car with the two-toned doors. I’m privileged. I know it. Dad and I have done our best to give back. We’re always giving back, but to Lake, that never mattered because in his head, he was supposed to be me. Then I came in and took everything from him. His friends, his team. In his eyes, I’m the root of all evil.
No wonder why he hates me.
I look up at Hayes. “Is this true?”
Hayes shrugs. “I’ve never heard him say anything like that before. I have no idea.”
Alec’s jaw ticks as he watches the spot Lake just vacated.
It sounded like Lake believed in what he was saying. It sounded like he’s believed it for a long time and hates every fucking letter that makes up the truth of that sentence.
I wiggle out of Hayes’s grip only because I’m still slippery from the pool. Then, I run around Alec and head toward the glass door that’s still open. Lake’s outburst didn’t call Dad and Leslie. I have no idea where those two even are.
I catch up to Lake, Sloan, and Ryan outside. Lake is draped over Ryan as Ryan puts him in a blue Toyota I don’t recognize. Sloan is getting into the driver’s seat. “Stop!” I call out.
All three of them turn toward me while I run outside in just my bikini, the bottoms of my feet burning on the hot cement.
Ryan gets Lake in the car and steps back. My chest is heaving when I get there. My fingers curl around the top of the car door. “Did you just…did you just say that you’re my brother?”
No. No. That came out all wrong. I meant to ask if he thinks he’s my dad’s son. My dad’s son…
His lip snarls. “I’ll never be your fucking brother. River’s my brother. You’re a piece of shit with a silver spoon in your mouth.”
My teeth gnash together. “What’s your evidence, O’Brien? Or is this some sort of fucking lie you’ve made up in your head to make yourself the victim? What is it?”
He turns away. His glassy eyes have gotten worse, but now he just looks tired more than anything. “Before my mom died, my aunt told me that my mom confessed to her once that my dad wasn’t my real dad. She told my aunt that she had a one-night stand with Timothy Dale, the basketball star. They met at a bar one night in town. She took him back to our house when my dad was on a business trip, and nine months later, I was born.”
“You’re a liar.” My stomach clenches. My dad wouldn’t do that to my mom. I know it. They were happy then. They wanted me. There can’t even be that much of a difference age-wise between Lake and me. My parents couldn’t have been trying to conceive me while my dad strayed. No.
“I’m not fucking lying.”
“Then your mom lied. It didn’t happen.”
Lake lunges at me, but the seatbelt catches him. All I have to do is step back a step.
“You’ve been pissed off for so long for no fucking reason,” I scream at him. “You’re not only an asshole, you’re a fucking idiot. Why is this just now coming out, huh? Why?”
I can feel the pool water dripping from my hair as I confront him. Lake winces at my words. “I was never supposed to say anything. I didn’t want to hurt my father or my brother, but it’s hard to hold back when I know you’re a fake. You think you come from this loving, perfect family with the house and the pool and the skills, but you’re nothing, Tessa Dale. Your whole life is built on lies.”
I just shake my head at him. I may have been under an illusion that my parents were perfect before, but he can’t throw that in my face right now. “In case you haven’t been paying attention, that whole perfect family thing has already blown up in my face. Your words don’t hurt, Lake, because they’re lies.” I take another step back. “Get your shit together before the season starts.”
Ryan slams the door closed, trapping Lake and his hideous mask of fury on the other side. Sloan pulls away immediately, and Alec takes Ryan’s keys from his grip and goes to follow him in Ryan’s Jeep.
When everyone is out of sight except for Hayes and Ryan, I look up at them. “Is it true?”
My gut tells me no, but in all honestly, my dad’s let me down before. The proof of one of those times is staring at me right now. My dad was with Ryan’s mom before I knew it…before my mother fucking knew it.
“I have no idea, Tessa,” Ryan says. “No fucking idea.”
He turns to look at the now deserted road.
I wanted Lake to go. In fact, I want him away from me forever, but I also feel like all my answers just left in that car, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get the truth.
30
The next few days are a whirlwind. I can’t bring myself to ask Dad about what Lake’s accused him of. I can’t even look Lake’s way. If I thought he sneered at me before, it’s far, far worse. It’s like I’m the reason for his hatred and his downfall too.
Surprisingly enough, there are no whispers at school. None of my teammates talk about what they heard during practice or lunch or any of the other team related activities the guys drag me to. Not a word is uttered out loud, yet my brain is full of questions and worries and doubts.
Sometimes, I’m all on my father’s side. I’m furious at Lake’s aunt for telling him such a false accusation to ruin his whole life with. Other times, I can see my dad doing what he did. I can see him going home with another woman, fathering a child…but what I can’t see is him knowing and never being involved. I wish I had thought to ask Lake if my father supposedly knows about all of this.
The rest of the time, I convince myself that none of it matters. When I step into the gym, I erase all those thoughts from my head. I’ve become very good at compartmentalizing. It’s Lake who isn’t. He’s angry one hundred percent of the time. Coach has made him sit out during practice because he just plays mean. I heard Coach tell him he wants him to see a counselor before he’s allowed to carry the ball again.
I get a lot of playing time, but it’s not a consolation to me. I’ve always wanted to earn my spot. I don’t want to get it because Lake is struggling.
During the scrimmage against Broadwell, I play the entire game, and we kick their ass. I get the same reception from my old teammates as last year. I sit in my old locker room before the game reminiscing about how far I’ve come, and I get a thrill when I go one-on-one with my ex and completely fake him out of his basketball shoes. Yet, I feel like it’s just the beginning. I thought that once I started for the team, I’d feel like I was on top of the world, but I don’t feel like that at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud as hell. I know I deserve it, but it’s just another day until I can get the prize at the end. Dad says he’s just waiting on State to tell him when they’re going to come check Ryan and I—and hopefully the rest of the Ballers—out. That’s the prize.
On the day of our season opener, Lake is noticeably absent from school. Coach is supposed to have strict rules that if you’re absent from school, you don’t get to play, but he’s been known
to go against those rules for the Ballers before. It isn’t until lunch when most of us realize Lake is even absent. River’s at their lunch table alone with his girlfriend and some other Freshman. Rhonda and her crew fled the table when Lake blew up at her last week. He’s been shrugging off all her advances since the team was announced, and then last Wednesday, they had a very public fight with her shouting how tiny his dick was, so she didn’t give a shit if they dated or not. The whole thing just reinforced for me that Rhonda’s a shitty human being.
I see Ryan and Sloan bend their heads together at the lunch table. “What is it?” I ask.
Ryan looks over. Guilt is written on his face, and he can barely look me in the eye. “Lake messaged me this morning. I ignored him. It turns out he texted Sloan too.”
“Um, me too,” Alec says, looking up from his tray.
All eyes turn toward Hayes. He pulls his phone out, checks the screen, and nods. “Yeah, me too.”
I get a weird twisting in my chest. He’s tried to contact all of them, and now he’s not here. I understand the look on Ryan’s face. He’s so angry and worried at the same time. We know he went back on the pills. He was definitely on something when he showed up at Dad’s house after I made the team. “I have to try to call him,” Ryan says.
“Call him,” I tell him. I know Lake is suffering right now. I haven’t come to terms with what he said. I don’t know whether I should believe it or not, but it was clear to me that he believed it.
Ryan stands from the table, kisses me on the top of the head, and then goes toward the hall. Each of us watch him as he goes. I only hope that Lake picks up and nothing is wrong. Maybe he’s just having a bad day. Maybe he’s sick. He could’ve tried to reach out to the Ballers for that reason, letting them know he wasn’t going to be well enough to play in tonight’s game. The more I think about it, I’m sure that’s what the problem is.
When Ryan walks back into the cafeteria, though, he’s chewing on his lip. When he sits, he shakes his head. “No answer. I tried calling the house, too.”
I watch each of the guys’ faces as different feelings play out on each of them. The first reaction is worry for the friend they had, then it’s a mix of wondering if they should be worried or not. Is this a cry for help? Or is this just one of Lake’s fucking asshole moments where he doesn’t show up to school and he plans on not showing up to the game either just to fuck with all of us.
Ryan takes all of five seconds to get up and walk over to River’s table. I can hear him from here when he asks him where his brother is. “Home,” River says. His eyes connect with mine. “Sick, I think. We couldn’t get him to come out of his room this morning.”
Ryan taps their table in front of him and then turns. He catches my eye and then walks toward the hall. All of us rise from our seats, except for Dawn whose eyes are practically rolling into the back of her head. As soon as we get out into the hallway, Ryan says, “I have to go over there. I don’t like this. You guys saw how fucked up he was when he was at my house.”
Sloan and Alec agree. Hayes rubs both his hands down the sides of his face before sighing. “Yeah. Go. But hurry up and get your asses back here, so we don’t have to hear about it from Coach. I’m staying with Tessa.”
Ryan, Sloan, and Alec run off down the hall. They walk right out the doors and even though there’s a teacher walking in at the same time, he doesn’t say a word, just watches them leave campus like they’re allowed to in the middle of the day. Hayes puts his hand around my shoulders and pulls me back into the cafeteria.
For as long as I’ve known Lake, I never thought him capable of this. Miss the season opener. Even if he’s uncertain of his starting status, which I’m sure he’s as uncertain as I am, he knows he shouldn’t miss. Especially since Coach Bradley still hasn’t stopped talking about being a team. Who knows, maybe this whole teamwork thing is deepening its roots into me, too. I always thought I was a good teammate, but with the stuff that Lake has done in the past, I couldn’t find myself caring for what he did.
Except, I know that’s not true anymore. My stomach twists again. If anyone has been paying attention, they know Lake has been a wreck. He doesn’t have his close friends anymore to hold him up. Not saying he doesn’t deserve it. He does. But damn. What if something’s happened?
What if I’m the reason Lake did something to himself? And what if I’m the reason his friends weren’t there for him?
“Don’t you dare do that,” Hayes says, hugging me to his side. “None of this is your fault. Besides, he’s probably fine.”
When we get back to the table, Dawn tries to get me to talk about the game, and I try as much as I can, but I’m just kind of out of it until she snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Are you seriously worried for that fucker? I swear I could slap you.”
I tear my gaze away from the lunch table and stare at her. Her jaw is hanging open, and she’s looking at me with complete confusion.
“The guy who broke your wrist on purpose? You’re worried about him.”
I shrug. Dawn doesn’t know everything, and I’m not going to tell her about the drugs or the fact that he thinks my dad is his dad, but she has a point all the same.
“That asshole couldn’t give two shits about you if you were lying bleeding in the fucking street, Tessa. Tonight, you have a shot at starting in the first game of the season. Pull your head out of your ass.”
Her words sucker punch me in the gut. There’s some truth to what she’s said. He really doesn’t give a shit about me. Not at all. He loathes me. He’d probably be jumping for joy right now if our situations were reversed. But still…there’s a little voice inside me saying that he might be my brother. I can barely form the thought, but it’s true. If what he thinks is correct, he is my brother, and fucked up history or not, I wouldn’t want anything to happen to him.
“Jesus, Hayes,” Dawn says. “Can’t you fuck some sense into her?”
My mind had wandered off again, but now my gaze latches onto hers. I shake my head. “You’re so ridiculous. Actually, you’re so far past ridiculous, I don’t even have another word to describe you.”
She beams like I’ve just given her the best compliment.
The last couple of periods go by quickly. When I check my phone in my locker after the last class of the day, there’s a text from Ryan to the group telling us they couldn’t find Lake. They have no idea where he is, and his father hasn’t seen him either. His last text said: Focus on the game. See you soon.
He’s one hundred percent right. I practically run to the Timothy Dale Court locker room where I dress in my jersey. My stomach is upset for a whole different reason now. If Lake doesn’t show up, which it looks like he won’t, I’m definitely starting. That thought is confirmed when Coach Bradley knocks on the girls’ locker room door a couple minutes later. When I tell him to come in, he walks in with a big smile on his face. “You’re starting, Dale. And before anyone says anything, you were starting before Lake decided to pull a no-show. You’re exactly who we want as the Shooting Guard starter.”
My eyebrows rise. “You were going to start me anyway?” I hoped he would. I wanted it so badly, but I didn’t think it was possible.
He nods. “You and Lake are both great players, and I can’t deny the chemistry that he and the other four have, but all that has been missing this season. I want you to show them what you’re made of, Dale. You understand me?”
I stand as Coach turns and beckons me forward. Together, we walk across the court. People are filing into their seats. There’s music blaring from the corner DJ. The heavy bass matches my thumping heart. I catch Dawn’s eye in the stands and mouth to her, “I’m starting.”
“Shut the fuck up,” she mouths back.
I smile and shake my head. Her face breaks out into the biggest smile before she has to turn to David to explain to him what I just said.
When we get into the boys’ locker room, they’re all dressed and waiting for us. It dawns on me then that I fo
rgot to look for my mom and dad in the stands. I’m sure they’re both there. One has Leslie and the other has Ron next to them, but what matters is that they’re both there supporting me.
Sloan winks, and I sit down next to him as Coach talks about our first game, going through the first couple of plays he wants us to run. When he’s finished, we all gather together, our hands in the middle of a circle, “One, two, WARRIORS!”
Every warrior except for the five of us jog out to center court. I can’t believe I got the start. I earned the start for once. My father didn’t get it for me. Lake’s disappearing act didn’t get it for me. I got it for me. Despite all odds. Despite breaking my wrist a few months ago. Despite being a girl and playing for the boys’ team. Despite having to overcome stigmas and bullshit, I’m here.
I was wrong about the prize just being college. This is one hell of a gift, and I’m going to make sure I give it my all out there.
The Warrior theme song for this year starts playing. Ryan brings us all in and says, “Play hard. Play smart. One team. One focus.”
God, I love him. I love all of them. If I already didn’t want to play like hell for myself, I’d play like hell for them. The better I play, the better they’ll play. That’s what Coach drills into us every practice. A rising tide lifts all boats.
We’re in it to win it.
Outside, I hear the DJ rile everyone up. He has the crowd going nuts. Beyond the blinding lights of this locker room, out on the court, there are multi-color lasers beaming everywhere. There’s disco ball-like swirling dots among the darkened room, and there’s a room full of people I need to prove myself to. But I’m not worried anymore because I have these guys with me.
“Your starting Shooting Guard, Quintessa Dale!”
I lock eyes with every single one of them, then run out the door, smack hands with all my teammates, and stare into the crowd, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I’ll be doing this same thing for most of my life.