WOMEN As his penis stimulates this spot, relax your love muscles (see pages 124–5) completely – even bear down slightly – so that it feels as though you are melting around his penis.
MEN If you stand still and flex your love muscles, your glans will press on her goddess spot (see pages 90–91).
feel the thrill of extreme passion
SHAKTI ON TOP
Your bodies are pressed close in this intimate bond. Because you can’t make big or fast movements in this position, it’s ideal for erotic touch and Tantric meditation. Play some sensual music that you both love and then focus on the music and let it enhance the connection between the two of you. Check that your bodies are relaxed – inhale simultaneously and let your breath dissolve any areas of tension.
Gradually let yourself go into a deeper relaxation, visualizing your minds and bodies becoming fluid and intertwined.
If you struggle with this meditation because you feel sexually frustrated and under-stimulated and/or you can’t relax, try mixing periods of movement with periods of stillness. For example, she can sit up and move vigorously, then lie down and breathe in time with him, and so on.
let bliss expand through your body
3-handed TOUCH for him
The three-handed massage is a Tantric touch technique devised by massage therapist Kenneth Ray Stubbs. Instead of using just your hands, you have an extra tool or “hand” at your disposal: your penis if you’re a man, or your vagina if you’re a woman. As your hands caress your lover’s body, your penis or vagina also penetrates or encloses them. Here’s how to give a man a three-handed massage.
STEP 1 Get him to lie down on his back and ask him to relax completely.
STEP 2 Straddle his body and put your oiled hands flat on his chest. Lean forward and glide your hands in circles all over his chest, nipples and shoulders. Make your strokes stronger or milder depending on his feedback. Let your genitals brush his penis as you move.
STEP 3 As you feel him warming to your touch, shift your weight back and start to include his penis and balls. At first just brush them lightly with your fingers as your hands slide up and down. Tease him with fleeting touches and then pay more attention to his penis, taking it in your hands and stroking the shaft smoothly (see pages 80–81).
STEP 4 Move back up his body so you’re straddling his waist, and massage his chest with your breasts. Let the tip of his penis nudge your vagina, then, when you’re ready, slide onto the length of his shaft to enclose him completely. Now, massage the front of his body with your hands. Build up a flowing movement in which your hands and yoni work in fluid harmony. Resist the urge to speed up your movements, or move in a way that stimulates you rather than him. If he loses his erection, carry on with the massage using your vulva rather than your vagina as your third “hand”.
STEP 5 Let him choose how the massage ends. Offer to bring him to orgasm through sex or manual massage or to lie blissfully entwined with him.
CROUCHING DOG
In this position, instead of kneeling behind her to penetrate, he stands with his legs in a slight crouch, bringing a close contact that is not always found in the doggie position. This position works best when you’re of similar height and he’s well endowed. If he finds it difficult to enter or stay inside her, she can bend forward.
MEN Instead of having fast, raunchy, thrusting sex in this position, cover her with reverent caresses, make your movements smooth and languid, and lavish sensual attention on her breasts and belly. Run your oiled hands up and down the front of her body in smooth gliding strokes. Then, squeeze her nipple in one hand as you caress her clitoris with the other. Nuzzle and kiss the sensitive skin behind her ear.
CROUCHING SHAKTI
He kneels and she lowers herself onto his lingam in a deep squat with her feet flat on the floor or bed either side of him. The fronts of your bodies (and chakras – see pages 26–7) are aligned. Crouching Shakti is a vigorous and dynamic position. Depending on the strength of her thigh muscles, she’s free to move up and down on his lingam, rather than just rock her pelvis.
Treat it as one of a sequence of positions (for example, she can easily lie back and he can get on top). Don’t plan your moves or stop to give instructions or make requests – just trust your bodily impulses to guide you. Let sex become a spontaneous, flowing dance. Once you’re both in the flow, it becomes difficult to tell who’s initiating movement and who’s responding.
3-handed TOUCH for her
A three-handed massage (see page 96) is a great way to take your lover to a peak of sexual arousal and whole-body sensuality. Here, in five simple steps, discover how a man can give a woman this extremely sexy treat.
STEP 1 Lay her on her back, kneel between her legs and smooth warm massage oil into the front of her body. Let your palms glide and slide over her belly and breasts, including her nipples. Extend your caresses to her shoulders, arms and sides, and ask her if she’d prefer your touch to be stronger or lighter.
STEP 2 As your lover relaxes, glide your hands over her belly and along her thighs. When your hands pass her genitals, let your fingers stray teasingly onto her pubic area and vulva. Touch her inner thighs lightly. When the time seems right, start to stroke and caress her yoni with your palms and fingertips. Don’t let your lover reciprocate at any stage – the aim is for her to let go and immerse herself in the sensations she’s feeling. Whisper an instruction to “just relax” if your lover tries to stroke or stimulate you.
STEP 3 Return to stroking the front of her body and let your penis nudge her genitals as you lean over her, and naturally find its way to her vaginal entrance. Slowly penetrate her – your aim is to keep her in a state of delicious sensual relaxation rather than to make her energized with hard and fast thrusting.
STEP 4 Move your hands and penis as though they’re joined; all three “hands” should move in slow and sensual union. Your hands stroke her breasts and belly while your penis strokes her insides. Visualize sexual energy flowing out of your “hands” and into her body.
STEP 5 Ask if and how she’d like to climax – would she like you to stay inside her, give her a yoni massage with your hands, or just prefer a cuddle?
chapter THREE
TANTRIC technique
breath AWARENESS
This lovely breathing exercise makes you more peaceful and relaxed and brings you home to your body, helping you to develop an intimate and sensual connection with your lover.
STEP 1 Sit, naked, opposite your lover. Close your eyes and take as long as you need to centre yourself. Now, with your eyes open or closed, observe your next breath. Describe it to yourself. For example, is it small and tentative or fast and urgent?
STEP 2 Slowly deepen your breath so you pull it down deeply into the core of your body. Keep your thoughts on your breath. If your mind strays, gently bring it back – even if you have to do this every other second, persevere until you are focused on your breathing.
STEP 3 Make each breath deeper, fuller and more satisfying. Note any sensations in your body – such as how your belly feels as it rises and falls. Imagine the air caressing your insides.
STEP 4 After 10 minutes, return to breathing normally. Come “out” of your body and back into your mind and thoughts – notice the difference between the two states.
exchanging LOVE
After doing this breathing exercise, put the palm of your hand in the centre of your lover’s chest – this is the site of the heart chakra (see page 27).
• Concentrate on the sensation of your lover’s hand on your own chest. Feel its warmth and pressure. When you inhale, draw your breath towards your lover’s palm – imagine it returning the warmth and pressure from inside.
• Deepen your breath and picture your heart expanding and opening up to your lover. Experience love as a physical sensation in your chest – as warmth, a tingling feeling, a fizzing or a glow.
• Enjoy these feelings and let your breath amplify them so they become more powerful and joyf
ul with each inhalation.
THE PATHWAY
This slow and sensual position can bring ecstatic results if you tap into your sexual energy. He lies down on his back and she straddles him in a facing position with her legs on either side of his waist. Then, she leans back on her hands and very slowly lowers herself into a lying position so that her head is positioned between his feet (this means that his lingam is bending in an unusual direction, so take care). She can straighten her legs or keep them bent. If she can’t stretch right back, she can lean back on her elbows instead – whatever feels comfortable.
Once you’re in position, do the chakra breathing exercise on pages 110–11 – this will allow you to concentrate on the gorgeous flow of sexual energy through your body. Amplify all your warm and tingling sensations with the power of your breath. Add some love muscle contractions (see pages 124–5) to heighten the experience even further.
bask in sensual connection
MERGING POSITION
In Tantric sex, the aim is to surrender completely to each other and immerse yourself in the sensations of skin on skin and breath on breath as you make love. In this position, you are intimately entwined and can enjoy a profound sense of connection.
She encloses him as deeply as possible – drawing him in, not just with her arms and legs but with her yoni too. Once you have got into a smooth rhythm of movement, synchronize your breathing with that of your lover. Imagine that you’re merging into a single being so that your entire awareness consists of the in- and out-flows of breath.
Take your time – there’s no rush to reach orgasm. Focus instead on what’s happening in the present – enjoy every blissful sensation of breath and movement, and the close intimacy of your naked bodies pressing against one another.
enclose him deeply
chakra BREATHING
Retreat to your erotic haven (see pages 38–9) with your lover and try this wonderful Tantric breathing exercise. Start by checking out the chakra map on page 27 so you know where each of your chakras is located.
STEP 1 Kiss, cuddle and stroke as if you’re going to have sex, but instead of going all the way, ask your lover to lie down on their back and close their eyes (you can swap roles in the next session). Now use your hand to caress their genitals. Ask them to focus on the feelings of arousal building up there.
STEP 2 When your lover is fully turned on, press your fingers against their perineum (the area of the root chakra – see pages 26–7). They should now completely surrender to you and follow your every word. Read out the following to them: “Breathe in and imagine you’re pulling air into your body through your root chakra – exactly where my fingers are. As you breathe out, imagine the air flowing back out through this spot. Each time you inhale air through your root chakra, imagine sexual energy getting stronger and more arousing. Feel it as warmth that’s getting hotter.”
STEP 3 After your lover has inhaled and exhaled through the root chakra for a minute or so, move your hand in a gentle caressing movement up to their belly. Let your palm rest softly below their navel (the site of the sacral chakra). Say: “Imagine a hollow tube that runs in a straight line from your root chakra to the crown chakra at the top of your head. Imagine you can pull all the sexual feelings in your genitals up along this tube. Breathe in through your root chakra and let the sexual energy rise up through the tube to the spot where my hand is resting. Let the air flow back down through the root chakra as you breathe out.”
As with many Tantric techniques, this one can take time to perfect. If this is the first time you’ve tried chakra breathing, stop at the level of the sacral chakra and keep practising what you’ve learned so far. Get comfortable with the idea of building up sexual feelings in your genitals and then raising them into your belly. When you’ve got to the point where raising sexual energy feels not only natural, but also pleasurable and tingly, repeat the steps above, and try raising and lowering energy to your next five chakras as well.
RECLINING BOND
Although less intimate, this variation of the classic Tantric Yab Yum position (see pages 136–7) has the advantage that you can sit opposite each other in naked appreciation. He sits with his legs crossed (or in the Lotus Position if he’s supple enough) and she climbs on top and wraps her legs around his waist. Now you both lean back and take your weight on your hands.
Being able to truly surrender to your lover is an important part of Tantra. Use Reclining Bond to let go of your inhibitions. Take advantage of the fact that you’re right opposite each other and there’s nowhere to hide. Without feeling shy or embarrassed, let your lover see all of your body. Enjoy your own sexiness, and take in the view of your lover’s naked body with candid appreciation.
LOTUS FLOWER
The Tantric version of this sexy straddling position encourages slower and more harmonious lovemaking. Unlike some woman-on-top positions in which she makes all the moves, the man plays an active role. His knees are bent so she can lean back on his thighs, and his upper body is raised so he can lick, nibble, kiss and nuzzle her. His hands are free to caress her.
WOMEN Tune in to the sensations in your genitals and pelvis as you experiment with different movements. Try leaning back on his thighs, relaxing your body and flicking your hips back and forth. Or try moving vertically up and down on his shaft. Alternatively, just enclose him and make all your movements internal. Your hands are free, so it’s easy to add clitoral stimulation whenever you want.
MEN Make sure you are in a comfortable position so that you can concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure. Keep your eyes open so you can watch your lover moving on top of you. Drink in the sight of her naked body and breasts. Enjoy the erotic pleasure building on her face.
pelvic ROCKING
Try this sexy Tantric exercise with your lover. When you’re used to pelvic rocking, you can try it during sex. It will help to generate and expand sexual energy throughout your body. The repetitive, rhythmic movement also helps you and your lover to get into a meditative state during lovemaking.
STEP 1 Kneel or stand opposite each other (if you stand, keep your knees slightly bent and your feet apart). With your spine straight and your belly relaxed, start to rock your pelvis backward and forward (but not up and down). Don’t worry about synchronizing your movements with one other – just concentrate on getting the movement right at this stage. Try to isolate your pelvis so that, as you rock, the rest of your body stays still – there shouldn’t be any movement in your legs, chest or shoulders.
STEP 2 Get into a natural and rhythmic flow of movement and when you feel ready, start to co-ordinate your breath with your movement: inhale as you rock your pelvis backward and exhale as you rock forward. Again, don’t worry about what your lover is doing – just allow yourself to get enjoyably lost in the rhythm of the movement.
STEP 3 Keep up this combination of breath and movement for several minutes. Be aware of any sensations in your perineum, genitals or pelvis – feelings of warmth, melting or tingling. Focus on these feelings, and let them become more expansive. If you like, you can now add one further action to the breath/movement rhythm: squeeze your love muscles (see pages 124–5) on each backward rock and release them on each forward rock.
STEP 4 When it feels right, make eye contact with your lover. As soon as they return your gaze, start to synchronize your movements so you both inhale and rock back at the same time, then both exhale and rock forward. Again, get a rhythmic flow of movement going that feels easy and natural. Let a deep, wordless connection develop between you.
FITTING OF THE SOCK
He can take the time to really make love to her in this position and she can lie back and soak up all the sensual pleasure. As well as being a highly erotic sex position, you can use Fitting of the Sock for yoni massage (see pages 74–5), too.
MEN Before you penetrate her in this position, take advantage of the fact that you can heighten arousal for both of you by massaging her with the tip of your penis. Put a dab of lube on her vaginal
entrance, then hold your shaft firmly in your hand and use the glans to spread the lube over her genitals, as though you’re painting her.
As things get hotter, use your glans to draw circles around her clitoris getting progressively harder and faster. When you finally penetrate her, the sensation will be electrifying. Tip: if you give her a yoni massage in this position, put plenty of cushions or pillows under the small of her back so she’s free to let go completely.
make penetration sudden and sizzling
AT ONE WITH YOUR LOVER SOUL TO SOUL
Sit opposite your lover with your spine straight and your chin tucked in. Breathe DEEPLY and then meet your lover’s gaze. Stay in eye CONTACT for at least the next five minutes. Let any thoughts dissipate – treat them like clouds drifting across the sky – TRANSIENT in nature. Notice how they become less important. Enter a CALM and RELAXING space with your lover – enjoy the sense of LOVE between you.
heart ORGASM
Combine this wonderful Tantric breathing exercise with pleasuring yourself and you might just experience a heart orgasm. Before you try this technique, it’s a good idea to practise the chakra breathing exercise (see pages 110–11) a few times. Because you’re going to be drawing up energy to your heart chakra, you need to be familiar with the practice of pulling up sexual energy along your central channel.
Pocket Tantric Super Sex Page 4