Powder And Shot

by Dragon Cobolt

  “Oh come on...” he snarled.

  Distantly, they could hear the shouts of the Hellenes. The order of loading cannons. The beat of feet on the decks. Kailey was starting to try and marshal what was left of her crew onto the guns. Meg sighed, patting her leather pouch.

  “I knew I should have brought two,” she muttered.

  “You can still get out of here,” Liam whispered back.

  Meg’s incredibly rude response was lost in the sound of the world tearing apart. And, before Liam’s eyes, a sphere of crackling energy appeared above the leftmost Monodeist ship. A large, dun-colored rectangle dropped through it and Liam had just enough time to recognize the brutal shape of a US Army Humvee – complete with mounted machine gun – before it struck the Monodeist trireme amidship, smashed through the hull, and sank into the waves. The Monodeist ship started to fold in half, prow and stern rising upwards, then splashing down. The crew hadn’t even had time to cry out in surprise.

  The Paladin aboard the ship vanished beneath the waves nearly as fast as the Hummer.

  Meg blinked.

  Liam blinked.

  “What the fuck?” they said at the same time.

  Another resounding roar. Another flare of light. This time, a crate clearly labeled as being the property of the United States Air Force smashed to the deck about five feet to the left of Liam, crushing several corpses beneath its weight with a rude noise. Meg squeaked and leaped backwards into Liam. Liam gaped at the crate – reading the smaller stenciling underneath the starry logo. They were an arcane list of letters and numbers that surely was the crate’s tracking number.

  The third roar came with a loud scream.

  Liam watched as a figure in camouflage patterned Army green with rifle and backpack and more dropped about five feet and landed with a grunt on the deck of the central Monodeist trireme. He staggered with the impact and swung around, backing towards the prow as the rest of the stunned crew gaped at him.

  “Meg!” Liam hissed. “Meg, get him, now!”

  “Kill the invader!” the Paladin shouted, aiming his sword at the man.

  The man hadn’t been given the same translation spells that Liam had.

  But he clearly had been educated in what a collection of swords and flintlock pistols meant.

  The sound of the assault rifle going off stunned Liam. And he had fired an AR-15 at a shooting range, when he had been a teenager. But after two years of swords, bows, magic, and memories of cheap action movies, the real thing was chilling. More chilling was the number of Hellenic crew who went sprawling on the deck. Even the Paladin went down in a spray of sparks and blood. The man - the soldier -snapped his magazine out of his rifle, flipped it, slapped it back in, worked the chamber, swung his rifle around.

  The ship next to him was swarming with men – all of them grabbing for muskets and rifles.

  He opened fire on them.

  Liam’s heart was in his throat as Meg swooped overhead. She waited until the soldier was reloading again, then dove down. She landed beside him, arms lifted in a clear show of non-violence.

  Whatever words they exchanged, the soldier looked from the stunned Monodists – the other triremes were beating away, the men shouted to their oars by the surviving Paladins – to Meg. Then he turned his back to Meg. Meg grabbed him, beat her wings, and soared up into the air. When she landed, Liam got his first look at another American in what felt like two lifetimes.

  He was a she.

  And she was pretty. Her hair was dark black, while her eyes were a rich brown. She looked Asian, which made Liam realise the closest thing to an Asian person he had seen in Purgatory was an elf. She was tall for an Asian woman with lean muscles, a strong jaw and a smooth skin.

  Her uniform had her name stenciled on her chest: S. Fong.

  Liam held out his hand in the stunned silence that seemed to have settled across the whole of Purgatory.

  “Liam Vanderbilt,” he said.

  The woman nodded. She took his hand, then shook it. “Lieutenant Simone Fong. Army Rangers.”

  An awkward silence stretched between them.

  Then Simone jerked her thumb at Meg. “The first fucking thing anyone says to me in this place, and it’s 'Welcome to Earf'?” She looked stunned. “Welcome to Earf? You fucking taught the natives about Independence Day? The fuck is wrong with you?”

  Liam sagged slightly.

  “Hey,” Meg said, grinning. “I thought it sounded like a neat movie.”

  ***

  The Morrigan’s Kiss limped into Babylon two days later, flanked by the surviving Babylonian ship – the crew freed from the hold, where they had been forced by the Hellenic marines. As the Kiss sailed forward, Simone looked at the city with wide, wide eyes. She was leaning on the railing of the ship – one of the intact parts, at least – and Liam stood beside her.

  “So, uh...” He paused. “Here it is.”

  “Here it is,” Simone said, slowly. “I guess you never heard of the Prime Directive?”

  “It seemed like a bad idea,” Liam said, grinning slightly. He and Simone had had shockingly little time to actually talk. The Kiss had been damaged badly by the fighting and while having an entire crate full of supplies from the future was damn nice, having Kailey take all of it as ‘lawful prize’ was the last thing he wanted. Simone had been just as busy working on the pumps, fixing sail, and carrying around wood as Liam had been arguing Kailey down to just taking the MREs.

  And now, they were almost out of time.

  “So, let me get this fucking straight,” Simone said, ducking her head forward. “You, an American citizen, and a minor-”

  “Hey, I was nineteen!” Liam said.

  “If you’re not old enough to drink, you’re a minor in my book,” Simone said, turning around to lean against the railing. “And yet you took up service as a mercenary. Engaged in combat at least two dozen times, engaged in espionage for a foreign power, became a dictator, and led armies against enemies. You’ve married, had two kids. Oh, and you’ve detonated a weapon of mass destruction.” She glared at him. “Twice.”

  “Okay, um, they may have slightly oversold how powerful the Godkiller was,” Liam said, holding up his hands.

  Simone rolled her head back, laughing. Then she started to pace. “Oh, no, Lieutenant, you’ll be put down in an isolated area, no chance of there being more than predators. We sent probes. No, Lieutenant, it shouldn’t be more than a fifteen mile divergence between arrivals. Oh no, Lieutenant, their technology can’t be more advanced than bronze-aged based on observations! No, Lieutenant, it’s highly unlikely that Vanderbilt will be difficult to rescue once you find him. A simple mission, despite the exotic locale. It’ll be a snap!”

  Liam watched her walk back and forth.

  “If it helps, I’ve brought them the technology of pizza,” he said, grinning.

  Simone shook her head. “Fantastic.”

  Liam sighed. “I’m not going to jail if I head home, will I?”

  “If we were doing this by the book?” Simone asked. “Fucking yes!”

  “Are we?” Liam asked, grinning hopefully.

  The boat nosed into the dock. The Cross Guard were there – an honor guard for Tethis, Fizit, Brax, Marion. Cheering crowds, all of them eager to see their Lord’s return. As the gangplank was lowered, Meg walked up to the pair of them. She grinned and slapped Simone on the back.

  “What’s up?” she asked, looking from Simone to Liam. Simone sighed.

  “What’d she say?” she asked.

  “What’s up,” Liam said.

  “That’s what I said,” Meg said, grinning.

  “That’s what I said,” Liam said, his voice dry.

  “Oh, you’re translating,” Meg said, then winked. “Don’t translate this, but I think I saw Quinn absconding with one of those thingies. You know, the one that makes the red dot?”

  Liam rubbed his temple, then looked at Simone – who, to her credit – was looking wryly amused.

  “To
answer your question,” she said. “No. I think the book went out the window with the rest of my team. We need to figure out where the rest of said team – especially the civilians – went. We need to find the rest of the supplies and we have to hope that the communication rig didn’t get smashed. Fortunately, there were several dozen com-rigs sent through, so our chances are good, but...”

  “Com-rig?” Liam asked as he started for the gangplank. As he walked, Meg licked her thumb, then slapped her thumb against Simone’s forehead. A crackling light flashed and Simone staggered backwards, blinking.

  “Wh...what?” she asked.

  “Translation spell,” Meg said, cheerfully.

  “I...” Simone blinked. “I can understand you.”

  “And, I note, you didn’t need to fuck her,” Liam said, his voice dry. He had long known that the first time he and Meg had made love, literally minutes after meeting one another, hadn’t actually been required for the translation spell. But he still liked teasing her when he got the chance.

  “I stand by my actions!” Meg said, her wings mantling.

  Simone shook her head. “I feel like I’m going to get really good at filing things under ‘ask later’ on this place.”

  “Yup,” Liam said, nodding. “So. Com-Rig?”

  “Right,” Simone said, shaking her head. “Our objective was to get you home, Vanderbilt. And even though it just got a fuck of a lot more complicated, it’s my job.”

  Liam gulped.

  The three of them walked to the gangplank. Brax was restrained by his mother, but Liam could see that Fizit looked as if she was five seconds away from charging him too. Liam decided to ruin that by running down the planks. He had had time to cling to Meg and cover her kisses, in the few snatched moments between keeping the Kiss from sinking. But Fizit? He had wondered if he’d ever see her again sometimes.

  And so, he grabbed Fizit and picked her up, twirling her around. She squeaked, and started to say: “This is undignified, you’re the Free Lord, your wife is-” And then he kissed her, shutting her up.

  “Uh...” Simone could be clearly heard from the top of the gangplank.

  “Wow, Liam was right; everyone on Earth is a total prude,” Meg said, sounding amused. “I thought Atlantites might be different.”

  Liam, who had been marveling at the way that Fizit’s tongue swirled around and around his, the way her soft breasts mashed against his chest, broke the kiss long enough to pick up Brax and swing her around. His son laughed, kicking and spreading his arms. Then, suddenly looking concerned, Brax squeaked: “You won’t kiss me too, will you?”

  Liam kissed his scaled cheek with a wet smack.

  “Eaugh!” Brax writhed, disgusted by a display of affection in the way only a boy of his age could be.

  “What did you call me?” Simone asked, walking down the gangplank.

  “Atlantites?” Meg said, looking confused. “What? It’s really obvious, whoever did the spell was, um, no offense, kind of shit.”

  But now, it was time for Fizit and Tethis to get an eyeful of not just Simone, but also Quinn and Kailey. The two goblinesses were dressed in their finest clothes and were walking down the gangplank, flanked by the two burliest members of their surviving crew. Kailey looked feral and fierce in her leather armor and sheer kilt, while Quinn had fished out a robe that was nearly a match for Tethis’ most formal wear.

  “Quinn?” Tethis asked.

  “Tethy?!” Quinn squeaked.

  “You know each other?” Liam asked.

  “N-Not quite,” Tethis stammered.

  “You were lovers with that Tethis?” Kailey asked, sounding shocked.

  “I wasn’t sure if they were the same...” Quinn admitted. “There are more than one gobliness named Tethis who were great healers.”

  “Oh my gods!” Meg squealed. “You never mentioned her.”

  “I can’t imagine why,” Liam muttered.

  Quinn bristled. Tethis flushed.

  Fizit, meanwhile, rolled her eyes. “Mammals.”

  “How... She...” Simone spluttered. “She has breasts!” She sounded anguished as she gestured at Fizit’s impressive chest.

  Liam shook his head. “Let's, ah, continue this discussion at the Palace. In private.” He glared at several men and women who he recognized as journalists. The printing press and Babylon’s adoption of a free press – the first, and to date, only one on Purgatory – had given a load of people jobs that they had never known they desperately wanted.

  “Let's,” Fizit said, glaring at the journalists.

  “Honey,” Liam muttered. “You can’t throw them in jail.”

  “I can imagine it...” Fizit shot back.

  Brax giggled.

  And behind them all, almost forgotten by the crowds, was Dia. Hidden under her robes. Meekly, she followed.

  ***

  The banquet hall of Liam’s Palace had more than enough room for all of them – and the kitchen staff seemed to be just as overjoyed to get Liam back as his family, considering the effort they put into the food. Liam was digging into some steak while Simone was polishing off three pieces of pizza. If she minded the strange color of the ingredients, or the fact that the slices were cut into perfect squares, then she didn’t show it.

  Fizit, though, was listening to Kailey, who was wiping her mouth clean as she finished off her telling of the combat. Being both a seasoned captain and the only one with a spectral raven flying overhead and providing a literal birds eye view of everything had given her the best grasp of what had happened.

  Fizit absorbed the last of the words, her knuckles pressed underneath her muzzle as she leaned on her elbows. She had sent Brax to his tutors – and Liam had put his foot down when Brax had whined about not getting to spend time with his Dad. This wasn’t a discussion he wanted Brax to hear.

  “So, every report I have on the Paladins is true,” Fizit said. “And the null-collars are real.” She looked at Dia. “I’m sorry, Anubis.”

  Dia, who had cast off her robe, but remained as withdrawn and quiet as she had been outside, shook her head. “Don’t call me that. My name is Diayet. I was a priestess of Anubis – who was as silent and distant as the stars in my day. I prayed for guidance, and sometimes felt him guiding me, but now...” She looked at her hands. “I doubt myself.”

  “You were never a god,” Liam said, trying to make his voice gentle. “Tethis, if what you said is true, gods... are humans. Or, well, any humanoid with... well, that.” He gestured to her and she quietly worked an illusion spell to project an image of Liv’s brain – expanded to reveal the growth in the center of her mind. It looked like a cone with nerves and veins reaching out to every other part of the brain to Liam.

  “What is it?” Quinn whispered.

  “It looks like a tumor,” Simone said.

  “It’s not a tumor!” Tethis snarled. Liam bit down on his lip to not laugh, as he didn’t want piss her off. He figured she’d said it often enough, considering that level of venom.

  “Okay. Come with me on this hypothesis,” Liam said, hopping to his feet. He walked around the illusion, pointing at it. He had been sitting, but the idea forming in his brain left him tingling with an urge to walk. He paced back and forth, his hands sliding along his sides, tucking into his armpits as he crossed his arms across his chest. “In the ancient past, some humans get a mutation that causes that brain bit to grow. It gives people godlike powers. Those people become worshiped as gods.” He paused. “Somehow, the Christian church comes about and builds... a thing that jams the New Gods here...” he shook his head. “Where the hell would they get that?”

  “The Ancients.”

  The voice was low and rough and came from the entrance to the place. Guards were stepping out from where they normally stood, but Liv was walking past them. Her hair had gone from blue to pure white. Her eyes glowed with pale light. And she seemed to radiate energy. It roiled along her skin and crackled between her fingers. She staggered forward, dressed in only a white c
otton shift. Simone stood, drawing a pistol and aiming it at her.

  “Who is that!?” she shouted.

  Liam sprang up and got between the two of them. “Liv!” he said. “A friend! Kinda.”

  “Kinda?” Simone asked.

  Liv cricked her neck. “The Ancients came to Earth and saw the gods. They wanted to figure them out.” She walked past Liam, grabbed the pistol from Simone with a motion so fast that it couldn’t be seen. She looked at it, then tossed it aside. It skittered along the ground, clattering and clinking as she walked past a stunned Simone to sit down at the table. She picked up Tethis plate and started to cram food into her mouth. She chewed, and spoke between swallows.

  “They made Purgatory to be their laboratory. But the Gods broke out, overthrew ‘em, and took over.” She licked her fingers. “Everything became legends and myth.”

  “H-How do you know that?” Tethis asked.

  Liv licked her thumb, then looked at Tethis. “Cause I asked?”

  “Asked who?” Liam asked, walking over quickly to sit beside Liv. She looked at him. Her glowing eyes narrowed, then she grinned.

  “You’re not gonna like the answer,” she said.

  “I’ll deal,” Liam said.

  Simone picked up the pistol. Checked it. Glared at Liv.

  Liv grinned. “Sysminor’s little brother. System Administrator Two.”

  Stunned silence remained.

  “Sysminor is short for System Administrator Four,” Liv said, sighing as she leaned slowly back into her seat. “He was the insane one. System Administrator Two, though, told me the basics. I...” She paused. “I didn’t follow all of it.”

  “How?” Tethis asked.

  “How can you or a lizard or an elf cast magic?” Liv asked. She looked around. “Come on, it’s fucking obvious.”

  “You are an Ancient,” Liam whispered. “Goblins. Lizardmen. They’re all Ancients.”

  “My mother was part of the Stakosha caste,” Liv said, her voice bitter. “Before Ares raped and murdered her. According to what Two told me, the Stakosha rule and are immortal. They designed the Potkoss – the goblins – and the Huulor – the lizards – for specific roles and only breed em when they’re needed.”