My Savage
Page 6
Alcohol runs through my veins lightening me. Throwing any discomfort to the wind.
Before I know what’s left my mouth, soft lips touch mine and linger there. Moving them gently, I have no idea what I am doing. The last time I kissed a boy was in school, when my seven-year-old best friend dared me to kiss the most popular boy in our class. Back then, I wasn’t scared of anything.
Lips continue to drift over mine and I follow his lead, barely touching the surface but with each connection, my hairs spike charged with electricity zipping through my entire body. Trying to watch his rugged face, I give up and close my eyes taking in every sensation.
A smell of citrus mixed with the blunt.
The tickle of his stubble.
Ocean’s lips caressing mine.
Patient and giving.
My lashes flutter and calmness overtakes my body.
I let go.
I have no idea what I’m doing but I want to try.
My arm leaves under the blanket and stretches behind his head where my fingers lace into his hair and I press firmer against his mouth, my tongue entering with hesitation. Like he knows I need guidance, he shows me how to explore together, deepening our kiss. Gripping my fingers tighter, I forget it’s attached to his head as fervor takes a hold of me, engulfing me until I realize I’m in a frenzy, moaning with saliva covered lips.
“Oh my god.” Pulling back, I’m not only heated by the exchange but my ridiculousness. “I’m so sorry.”
A grin stops me from fleeing. “For stopping? ‘Cause that’s the only thing you should be sorry for.” A finger lifts my chin. “That’s the first kiss I’ve actually enjoyed in a very long time.”
“That’s the f-first kiss, period, for me in an extremely l-long time.” If only he knew how long it’s been. He’d be embarrassed for me.
“Stop acting coy, I can tell you would have men wrapped around your little finger, or any finger, in fact.”
“Nope.”
“I don’t believe you.” He pulls my chin closer and lands his lips on mine again. I don’t want to fight this pull. I want to start experiencing life and Ocean makes me believe I’m safe and protected. I follow and I smile internally for the first time in a long stretch. This is magical.
“See, you’re a natural.”
“You make me seem like a natural, but I’m anything but.” Heightened, I try to steady my breaths by looking out at the flowers. “It’s true. I haven’t kissed someone in an eternity.”
“I couldn’t tell.”
His voice is sincere, so I continue. “It’s been twenty years.”
“What?”
I slowly turn my head to see what I’ve been afraid of, opening myself up and then being looked at like I’m a freak. Instead, I find a man who is clearly shocked but is trying to piece in his head, what happened to me and not what’s wrong with me.
“Why?”
Without thinking I blurt out, “I’m s-scared of men.” A wild bear bounds at my chest, scraping and ripping me up inside. I’ve always known this, but I’ve never voiced it to anyone. “I have n-no idea how to act around them, how to talk to guys or t-trust them.” If my legs weren’t Jell-O from the joint and the champagne, I’d be running away to hide after my ridiculous statement. I’m an outcast and always will be.
“Because of your father and brother?” There’s no judgment in his voice.
“Yes. Too much happened. It’s easier to l-live in my own world then work out a new way. I’ve tried a few t-times, but in the end, it’s the same. I can’t give myself over completely and I s-sabotage any chance of keeping a guy. My work is my life now.”
“You realize that’s not healthy. My father replaced work for everything in his life. His kids now don’t respect him, and his wife is an alcoholic.”
Nodding my head. “I know. But it’s o-only me. I can’t ruin anyone else’s life this w-way.”
Warm and tender, his hand leans on the side of my cheek and pushes it around so my eyes are set on dark, demanding eyes.
“I see a gorgeous woman, with black hair, perfect cheekbones, delicious lips, and eyes that open directly to her soul. I hear a woman who has been hurt, damaged, and psychologically wounded by men she trusted. I feel a delicate flower, who is striking and dazzling, standing out from anyone else on this planet, who is bursting for affection and care.”
Running his thumb over my lips, I want to latch on to it, never letting it go.
“I tasted a delicacy that has been waiting for the right person to trust themselves with. It’s your time to bloom, baby. If you can, trust me to be that man.”
Where did this guy fall from? He’s new to me, yet our connection is strong. It could be I’m frightened that my brother is going to kill me, so I need someone to help me, but I don’t think it’s that. Usually running the other direction from males, holding on for dear life in fear with each male customer I interact with daily in the shop, calmness and fun aren’t a possibility for me.
“S-sitting here with you, being in the s-same house as you: a stranger…”
“Not anymore, we aren’t.” His smile lightens my shoulders.
“A male then and I haven’t reverted to r-rocking in a corner, b-blubbering is a good sign. Being able to get words out around you is a m-miracle for me.”
“You’re the miracle, Bluebell.” Ocean’s voice caresses me like a feather over my inflamed skin. Heat covers every nerve ending.
My throat starts to clog, and I acutely listen for his next words.
“I won’t pretend that I know all that has happened to you to make you so unsure of yourself. I hear that you believe parts of you are broken but that means you can mend and heal. I’m not one to pretend I know how good works in this world, what’s always right or wrong or if I even know how to assist you without hurting you more. I have no clue. But understand, I will be by your side, I will listen and wait, learning all we need to get this right, together.” Both of his hands clasp my face. His serious look blares into my soul, where his words wrap around it and then are padlocked in place. Pulling himself forward, demanding and passionate, his kiss seals the words spoken.
I collapse into his arms as though the restraint that has been choking me is released slightly.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight until your deranged brother is dealt with, so until then, you have to suck it up. You’re stuck with me for a while longer, no matter what.”
If I was sane, I wouldn’t be here in the first place. I have no idea what I am doing but the giddiness setting up home in my body is spurring me forward. Normally I’m stuck for words ‘cause I have no idea how to speak coherently, this time however I’m stunned into silence. Taking his hand from my face, I place it over my heart.
It’s racing.
And it speaks clearly for me.
I’m the boogey monster.
A psycho.
Relentless.
Cold-blooded.
A savage.
But circumstances have led me to this pathway. I’m not asking for pity or an analysis but it’s the old adage of nature versus nurture. If neglect didn’t occur, or bonds weren’t torn apart from vital loved ones at a young age would I have gone down this pathway? If I wasn’t left alone to my own devices, creating a name for myself to give me some self of worth, worse than any of my guys to the point that they have no idea how black my mind gets when dealing with scum, would I be the tortuous barbarian I am now?
I have no idea and it doesn’t matter anyway. I am at peace with who I am and what I do.
I live for it.
Crave it.
This doesn’t mean there’s no room for good. Because everything I do, I hope is making someone’s life easier or better, less darkened by the evils of our world. I’m prepared to take the demons and the ominous within me for the good of others. At times I conduct illegal crimes because it’s a necessity, but it comes with the territory of being at the top of LA’s underworld.
Watching Bluebell undre
ss in front of me, obviously the alcohol and joint has loosened her up, a flick of the unknown twitches at my heart. I know I’m capable of love and affection, because I only have to think of my little sister Melody and I long to see her, to wrap my arms around her and tease each other like we do whenever we get together. My heart pounds looking at Slate and the guys, with their women and kids and I don’t take for granted how I am privileged to be a part of them. They are my family. But allowing a stranger to walk in and try and grab the organ that keeps me alive… well, the boundaries are high around it, I wouldn’t guess anyone would be bothered or could splinter it to gain access.
Never say never.
“Baby, you’re exquisite.” Laying back on the bed, fully clothed, I am in awe of how brave she is being tonight. “I could watch you all night.” My dick presses against my zipper in protest wanting to be released.
“I look ridiculous, don’t I?”
“Come here.” Motioning for her to come to bed, I pull back the covers. “If only you knew how cute you are.”
“Doesn’t cute mean ugly but interesting?”
“Not in my dictionary. Cute means alluring, sexy, attractive, and perfect. Now scoot your ass over here. I want to show you how we’re going to build your trust with me.”
Climbing in with only her cotton bra and panties on, I place the blanket over her. “Lay on your stomach.”
I can tell by her drawn eyebrows she has no idea what’s happening. I won’t push her tonight or any night. I want her to feel comfortable around me.
“But I wanted to strip completely for y-you, like your strippers do at your work.” Bluebell flings back the covers dramatically, my face is covered in darkness. “W-whoops.”
Dragging it down, I smirk. “Not tonight, baby.”
“You don’t want to s-see me naked, do you?” Worry crosses her face, and I don’t want to deflate her.
“This is another one of those times you will have to trust me. Feel this.” Grabbing her tiny hand, I push it on my cock. “See how hard I am. That’s because of you. I want to see you, but I want us to wait because I want to pamper you tonight.” Taking the choice from her, letting her know it’s me who’s not ready, hopefully will work.
“Oh.”
“Lay on your stomach, Bluebell.”
Doing as she is told, I rub my hands together to warm them further. Gently, I take her straps off her shoulders and run my hands over her silky back. With a light touch, I massage her back and neck with tender strokes, up, down and around. She’s one courageous woman, letting me touch her so soon. I’m sure though she wouldn’t be if she hadn’t drunk half a bottle of French champagne. Hence why I’m not going down any other avenue tonight, as difficult as it is proving to be, my cock throbbing with need, I won’t give her anything to be sorry for or conflicted about tomorrow.
“Your hands are making me melt.”
Pushing a little firmer, staying away from her sore shoulder, my fingers slide up her neck and glide back down easing the tension there, rubbing around her ears concentrating on the bone behind them and temple area trying to relax her further.
“Good, that’s the aim.” Saliva pools in my mouth, and I itch to bite her ear but refrain, biting my lip instead. Pain radiates from it, a metallic taste hits my tongue.
After about ten minutes, her heart rate is even and steady, whereas mine’s jumping all over the place in an erratic mess, cracking it open a little more.
“One day, Bluebell, both our hearts will be revealed.” Unsure of what that means for either of us, I pull the blanket back up over her pale skin, kissing the back of her head.
She lets out a snore, making me chuckle just as I reach the lamp and switch it on.
“Goodnight.”
Vibrating wakes me.
Opening my eyes slightly, there’s light peeking through the blinds, but it’s low. My hand reaches the cell under my back. Why it’s there, I have no idea.
“Yeah.”
“We have a problem we need you back here for.” Caden’s voice is alert and low.
“Details?”
“It’s Kyle. His gambling has finally caught up with him.”
“Fuck.” Wiping my eyes, I swing my legs round off the lounge and stretch. “Meet you at the office in a few hours. Does Emerald know?”
“Not yet, but Slate’s going to tell her soon.”
“She’s not gonna like it but she needs to know, man.”
“Yeah, she does. We’ll catch you up on the rest when you get here.”
Ending the call, I turn the coffee on and go looking for some clothes. This isn’t going to be good. Kyle’s been unraveling quicker over the past few months, betting bigger and faster than previous to him being kidnapped with Crystal. It’s obvious to everyone around him he’s sliding down a rabbit hole and it’s only a matter of time before someone doesn’t give him leniency because he’s the brother of Emerald, Slate’s Wildcat.
“Hi.” Awake and covered to her neck, her eyes strike me first. A tentative smile on her face.
“Hey, how are you feeling this morning?”
“Rested. Stupid. Thankful.”
“You have nothing to feel stupid about. I’m happy that we had a night where we could chill out and get to know each other more.”
“Me t-too.”
“Would you like some coffee? I have to go back into the city. Some business has come up.”
“Now?” Worry surfaces, but she checks me out at the same time. Glad she’s getting more comfortable with me.
“I’ll get dressed and have a coffee but then I have to go. You will stay here. We can’t risk you being seen until we sort out where Colton is.”
Finding a clean pair of jeans and a shirt, I dress quickly.
“Can I c-come with you?”
Striding to the bed, I sit on it. My fingers move a piece of hair hanging across her face.
“You’ll be safe here.”
“I know, but I’d rather be where you are.” Pleading eyes look at me and the strings that are attached invisibly to her and me tighten in my chest.
“If it puts a smile on that face of yours, we can do that.” Having her near me will still keep her safe so there isn’t an issue. “We leave in ten minutes.”
“That g-gives me time to down a coffee and get r-ready.”
Moving to the kitchen to give her space, I pour the hot liquid and scroll through my cell. There’s nothing there pinpointing where Colton could be. I’ve had feelers out trying to catch wind of him, but no one knows where he is or who he is associated with. He’s proving to be slippery and resourceful.
“Your coffee’s ready when you are.”
“I’ll only be another minute.”
“I’m going to warm the car up. Take your time.”
This car has seen me through everything. It’s loyal, hardworking, and pure muscle. The 454 cubic inch motor thumps as I start it. Emerald’s had her hands on it, so the horsepower it came out with has been increased of course. Revving the engine, the rumble and shake of the vehicle sends chills up my spine, reminding me how alive I am.
Emptying half a packet of Skittles into my mouth, there’s a loud bang at the cabin’s door and I cock my head back. I almost choke.
Jumping down the stairs, hair flying back, and a smile plastered on her face, the image kicks me in the gut harder than the 800 horsepower underneath me. Yeah, I’m one lucky bastard to be allowed near this beauty.
“I’m finally ready. My foot feels better too.” Closing the car door, I ease out of the driveway after I take in her beauty. Wearing the blue sweatpants and top I bought her, it shows off her curves spectacularly like I hoped they would. Her raven hair is tucked behind her ears showing off small blue earrings that I hadn’t noticed before. The morning light glistening off them and her crystal blues.
“You are worth waiting for.”
Nincompoop.
Twit.
Moron.
Idiot.
Stupid.
Instead, the massage he gave me was incredible. No man has touched my skin since my father and brother laid their hands on me. Subdued and relaxed with alcohol and the joint, I didn’t flinch once under his expert strokes. I had wanted to yahoo and tell him about this milestone, but I believe Ocean already understood what a big deal this was for me. He has an uncanny way of reading me.
“I know you’re doing everything you c-can for me, but I can’t interrupt your life indefinitely. My brother is c-cunning, it could be ages before you track him.”
“I don’t care how long it takes, it’s safest if you stay with me until then.” His commanding voice doesn’t allow any wiggle room.
“I have already contacted the girl who r-replaces me in the shop if I’m ill, but I think I will be s-safe at home. He doesn’t know where I live.” Swallowing hard, I watch for a reaction.
“Sorry, Bluebell. Remember, I said you’re stuck with me.” How can I forget? Terrified but elated at the same time. “Well, I’m not budging until we find him. No if’s or but’s.”
Resigning to the fact that he is right, I try a different tactic. “C-can we stop and get some of my clothes?”
“I think I’m going to be kept busy all day with Kyle’s problems.” His knuckles turn white on the wheel. “Sorry, Bluebell.” I can see he is clearly annoyed that he can’t do what I’m asking.
I should be thankful for what he is doing for me, but I really would like some clothes that look like me, and my own underwear. “It would only t-take me a minute to grab a few of my things.”