My Savage

by Ellie Jean

  Colton stole Phoebe’s childhood, trying to darken her light and blacken her goodness and almost succeeded in killing her.

  Whining in pain, I watch as his eyes start to open, red thickness running down his legs. I smile hoping he is hurting.

  “What you did to Melody can’t be undone.”

  “The kill was for the guy. Bad fucking luck she stepped in front of him.” Breathing heavily, his lungs are starting to collapse, I cringe. Always too good for her own sake. Killed because of a gambling debt and hit gone wrong.

  “Yeah, I’d say real bad.”

  Unable to move, he stares and watches me pull out my knife. Opening the switchblade, I trace the cool steel along the side of his face, pressing in deep near his ear, drawing small amounts of blood.

  “We killed the brothers.”

  “Just get it over with. I knew my fate when I took the job.” The knife runs down the side of his neck, deep enough to cause a scar. But that won’t be a problem soon. Blood trickles out and his face scrunches in agony. The howl he lets out tells me the knife is having the desired effect. “You knew you’d be killed, so why? Why fucking do it?”

  “I have my reasons. Fucking with someone close to Phoebe at the top of the list.” Swelling surrounds his eye, his voice quieter. I throw the knife and it lodges in his arm, my fist then slams into his face, rage taking over. My noise is drowned out by the screams coming from Colton.

  “How the fuck is Phoebe from the same blood as you? She’s gracious and thoughtful, gentle and compassionate. Enduring hatred and evil by her own family didn’t squash her. It made her fucking strong, not weak like you, your mother, and your father.”

  “She’s not.” He finds his voice through the wailing.

  Scanning his disgusting face, I seek what the fuck he is trying to say. “She’s not fucking what?”

  Moaning, his face turns purplish.

  “Phoebe’s not your sister?”

  Unable to say much, his breaths laboring, I hold his head back by his filthy hair. “No.”

  Unlatching my hand, his head drops. “Tell me fucking everything.”

  His shoulders heave, my fingers clench. “Colton, who the fuck is her mother and father?”

  “Don’t know who the mother is.”

  “Explain why, fast.” I’m ready to grab my gun and end this fucker’s life.

  “She brought Phoebe to our place when she was tiny, and left. Had a quick fuck one day with the old man, resulting in her. She didn’t want it so left it with Dad and my mom.”

  Rubbing my face, I shake my head. “So he’s still her father?”

  “Don’t believe so. Dad ‘til this day denies he had an affair with the skank. He was an easy target, at the pub, drunk most nights, he could have been with anyone and not known it, so Mom once told me.”

  “Damn. Phoebe should know this.”

  “Fuck that spoiled brat. She ruined everything. Coming along, my mom couldn’t handle the fact the baby who she was left to care for was the result of an affair. She tried but the constant reminder was obviously too much. It drove her away. She left me because of Phoebe, fucking up my life.”

  “You fucked your own life up.” Pulling out the knife, the flesh opens, and I dig it into his other arm, twisting it until the bone crunches under it.

  “That’s for degrading and treating Phoebe like a slave all those years.”

  Drawing it back out, I stab the fucker in the chest. A gurgle sounds, interrupts the screams of agony.

  “That’s for the assaults on Phoebe.”

  I take it out and liquid coats my hands. I plunge it deep into his heart. “That’s for taking everything from Phoebe.” His groans stop but his chest heaves.

  Taking my gun, I pop a bullet into his useless brain. “That’s for Melody.”

  Slumping to my knees, I look at the useless fucker who has taken so much.

  But no more.

  Colton Kearney is dead.

  Another favor I’ve done for the world.

  Phoebe should be elated with this new knowledge. But will she be? Abandoned by two women and the father she knows, who possibly isn’t. It’s a lot to take in.

  Crap.

  Rising up, I take the knife and gun and wipe my hands on a cloth sitting close by, and head for the door. My head is overloaded with the events of today.

  I want to see Phoebe, but I have no clear words yet. Instead, I head to The Gem. I need alcohol to numb everything.

  It’s too easy.

  Killing someone can be over in a matter of seconds.

  A life gone in the blink of an eye.

  Downing my fifth double vodka, at least I think it’s my fifth, I watch the stage and the naked body rolling around it. There’s nothing. My body is numb, my head trying to work out how to stay upright.

  “Hey darlin’, you need me to take your mind off it?” A younger girl, with a teeny waist and naked boobs leans across the table. Tanner must have hired this one.

  Raising my glass, I slur, “This is doing a good job.”

  “I could do it so much better though.”

  “I bet you could.” Her bright red lips are glossy and plump, filled beyond normal. No doubt she’s wrapped them around cocks before, the way she’s licking them, it would be easy to take her behind the stage and fuck her mouth. My dick doesn’t stir. Nothing changes. One day Phoebe’s mouth will be wrapped around mine. Perfect and lush, hot and tight, sucking me off until I see stars.

  My jeans tighten just thinking about her.

  “Tawny, get your butt out of here.” Tanner sits his ass down and grabs himself a drink, the girl scuttles off. “Hector called through, told me you may need a hand getting upstairs.”

  “I get it now.” Lighting a blunt, I drag in the smoke.

  “Get what?”

  “Why you guys want parts to go legit.” My head swirls like a whirlpool but I drag in another, handing it to T.

  “Melody was an amazing woman. She’s going to be missed by all of us.”

  “I should have listened to you all sooner.” The irony is hard to stomach. “Last one to get it and my sister is lying in a cold room, alone.”

  “Come on. Let’s go.”

  Swiping the table in anger, the bottle shatters across the floor. “She’s dead.”

  Nodding his head, I know he has no words. None of us do.

  Standing, my legs fail and T catches my sorry ass. His arm holding me up.

  “It should have been me.”

  “Kyle is the one he was aiming for. It should have been him.”

  My legs hardly move making the elevator seem like it’s miles away. “Yeah, either way, someone was going to be mourning the loss of a relative. Fucking prick, all ‘cause Colton wanted to hurt his sister.”

  “Revenge is a powerful trigger.” We know that more than most.

  “He won’t be a problem from now on.” Staggering, my head pounding, I stumble.

  “Fuck, O. You trying to break my arm?”

  “Nothing can break through those tree trunks, man.” Chuckling, I fall against the wall while we wait for the elevator. “Was Phoebe okay?”

  Nodding, he doesn’t say anything.

  “I should have stayed but I couldn’t.” I’m slipping down the wall, but I steady my legs.

  “She understands.”

  Shaking my head, I’m not convinced.

  Witnessing blood, death, violence, pain, and me leaving her alone, I’m a fucking selfish prick. “Phoebe should have come first.” The door opens and I fall in, crashing to the floor.

  Tanner’s voice is a faraway noise. “Fuck. You gotta make this hard?”

  Mundane, scheduled activities were my normal before divine intervention bought Ocean back into my life. It helped me cope and I enjoyed my life. Actually, enjoyed might be too strong a word, but my life was non-eventful. It was peace and quiet.

  A few weeks together and now I’m floundering around unable to function without Ocean’s connection.

 
I laid awake night one, hoping for sleep to take me, but it didn’t.

  Day two came and went. Bed was my best friend still. No communication.

  Day three and no word from him again. The girls called to check-in, explaining Ocean was alone in his apartment and his parents would arrive tomorrow. Fumbling through the daylight hours, I called the shop ensuring all was well there. Staring at my cell, I hit Ocean’s number next, before I could stop my finger. With no clue as to what to say, I needed to hear his voice. But it just rang. My heart cracked a little more not hearing his voice.

  Today is day four and I’m dressed and ready to work albeit midday. Structure was my way of life, I have to get it back. But it’s at a slow pace. “I’ll be in, in about thirty minutes. Bye.”

  Unsure if my brothers still alive and going to jump out at me around any corner, I need to let go of the fear. Unable to do that for most of my life, Melody’s death has taught me I have to start living every day because life is way too short. I’ve wasted enough days and years.

  The shop centers me, working with flowers always has. A steady flow of customers come in and I engage with them in a bright manner, while my insides are doing flip-flops. I only last thirty minutes before I go to the back and make some arrangements where no one can see me. I may have come back too soon.

  “Bluebell.” A chirpy voice rings through the shop. “You have some customers.” Drawing my eyebrows together, I wipe my hands and step out to the front. A grin widens on my face. “Hey Lace and Crystal, it’s good to see you both.” Bending down, my eye contact’s lacking and I smile at Jayce to avoid their friendliness. “He’s so cute.”

  “Not at three in the morning, four or five a.m. He’s a monster.” Sleeping peacefully, I pull the blanket up a little.

  “I don’t believe you.” Giggling I look at them both. “What brings you down here?”

  “We wanted to check in on you.” Lace eyes me up and down, scanning to ensure I’m okay. The bell on the shop door rings. Another customer steps in.

  “I’m fine.” There’re too many listening ears for my liking. “Do you want to come through for a moment to the back?”

  Nodding, they both follow me to the marginally larger space where I make the larger arrangements. The stroller only just fits through with some coercing.

  “Sweetie, you look tired.” Crystal pulls me in for a hug.

  “I’m not sleeping the best.” My hand runs through my hair. “How’s Ocean?”

  “You haven’t spoken to him?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, Lace looks worried.

  “No, but I have only tried to reach him once. I don’t know what to say. My brother killed his sister. It’s not something you push aside.”

  Lace hesitates for a second. “His parents arrive today. Funeral is tomorrow.”

  “I don’t think I should go.”

  Both look at me like I’ve turned a shade of purple. “Why wouldn’t you go?” Lace inquires.

  Shaking my head, how do they not get it?

  “My brother shot his sister.” I almost yell because am I the only one who sees there’s something majorly wrong if I go? “He killed her in cold blood. Why would I put him through more distress?”

  Crystal looks at me sternly and then addresses Lace. “She doesn’t see it.”

  “Nope.” Raising her eyebrows, Lace moves her head, agreeing with Crystal.

  “What don’t I see?” My eyes widen and I stare at them both, questioning their statement.

  “How Ocean is when you’re with him. How he looks at you when you’re busy talking to someone other than him. How he monitors every move you make when you leave his side.” Crystal’s voice is measured.

  “Ocean’s fucking eyes sparkle when you are with him. His body leans into you, drawn by some invisible pull. He brought you to his place, he introduced you to his family. When you speak, he listens with his heart and when he touches you, kisses you, we see his soul reaching and taking yours.” A gentle smile envelops their faces.

  “Oh.” My breath hitches. “You see all that?”

  Nodding and smiling, both of them come in to hug me at once and I embrace it. They really are how I believe a family should be.

  “Phoebe, Ocean needs you now.” Crystal pulls back. “With his parents in town, Melody gone, he will need you there more than ever.”

  Flutters roam my stomach, my head shaking from side to side. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “If you love him like I think you do, you will find a way to do this for him.” Crystal hugs me again, kissing me on my cheek and turns to Jayce. Lace does the same and they both head out smiling with a wave bye. “See you tomorrow.”

  Wringing my hands together, I whisper. “Yeah, see you then.”

  I know what it’s like to have no one there for you.

  I didn’t want Ocean to experience the loneliness. He didn’t deserve the pain.

  He’d protected me the best he could from my father and brother when I was small, if I could help him in any small way now, I had to try.

  Clutching my coat, wind is whipping around my legs. How am I going to get into his apartment? I can do this for him: stand by him when he’s dealing with his parents.

  Hitting Lace’s number on my cell, I hope I’m not interrupting her dinner. She answers on the first ring, her breaths are fast.

  “Good timing, girl.”

  “What?” I don’t understand if she’s being serious or not. “Hey. Sorry to disturb you, but is there a way I can get into Ocean’s apartment?”

  “Are you here?” There’s an urgency in her voice.

  “Yeah.”

  “Right. Caden’s on his way down to get you, Ocean’s parents are here.”

  Standing in the grand foyer, the elevator flashes. It’s not the one that says The Gem but a private one. “Damn. Not good?”

  “Tanner is in there now with them but it’s anything but calm.”

  “Hmmm. Okay.” I hope I help not make things worse.

  “He needs you.”

  Shaking my head, they keep saying it, but only time will tell. The phone disconnects and I try to imagine what the scene may look like.

  Crying.

  Yelling.

  Physical aggression.

  Words firing like a machine gun.

  A family hurting one another.

  So familiar but I couldn’t fix mine, what hope do I have with someone else’s?

  My pulse spikes thinking about my family and how dysfunctional we were.

  A noise breaks me from my thoughts. “Phoebe. He’s not good.” Caden holds the elevator door open.

  Heaving in air, it’s time to put on my big girl panties and brace my body with some steel, so I can support Ocean.

  Yelling inside my head, “I can fucking do this”, I release my breath with my heart pounding and I rush forward into the metal box. I need to be with him. I want to be his support.

  Making myself stand a taller, a confidence envelops me that hasn’t been present before. This is for the boy who saved me. “Thanks for warning me. How long have they been here?”

  “Only about thirty minutes but the shouting started about ten minutes ago.” Rising higher and higher, the elevator stops, and I get out hesitantly. Ocean’s apartment is nearer the end of the corridor. Putting one foot in front of the other, I measure my breaths to slow my heart rate that is rapidly spiraling out of control. Muffled voices hit my ears and on impulse, I quicken my steps. I have to get in there to be by his side.

  The door’s ajar and wailing can be heard. I almost push past Caden, but he moves fast.

  “I’ve got this.” My voice is strong and balanced.

  He nods. “Need anything, you got Lace’s number, call and we will be here in seconds.”

  Focused on entry, I keep walking, following the shrieking and yelling, even though he is still talking.

  Scanning the scene, I find Ocean sitting on the floor near his couch, his father who resembles Ocean except his lighter hair c
olor, sitting on a chair and I presume it’s his mother flailing around hysterical. Tanner is standing with his back against the wall, keeping an eye on the situation. Spotting me first, he tries to smile at me, but the drama unfolding is consuming everything.

  “You killed your sister.” Arms flying and speech slurring at the end, she’s had a bit to drink.

  Hands clasp over Ocean’s ears, his head down. He looks more like a small boy than a grown man.

  “You and your deadly lifestyle got Melody gunned down.”

  Walking over to Tanner, he places his hand on my shoulder. “She’s been raving on and on, but Ocean’s kept silent.”

  “Right. It’ll be okay. I’ll work it out.” My words are stronger than my knees threatening to collapse from underneath me.

  Giving me a chin lift, he kisses my cheek and leaves.

  These people don’t know me from a bar of soap, but I know Ocean, and he won’t want them here.

  “How could you let her be killed? She was your sister?” Howling in pain, the woman collapses on the rug.

  “You make it sound like I had a choice,” screaming in agony, Ocean speaks. “She was shot in a bungled attempt at someone else. I didn’t have a fucking say in this, Mother. I didn’t pull the trigger. I wasn’t fucking there.” His head lifts marginally, his eyes red, his face showing a minuscule part of his pain eating him alive.

  “If you didn’t hang around those deviants, then she wouldn’t have been at risk.”

  “If you didn’t fucking drink, she would still be in Australia with you.”

  The older man who looks weary, goes to the woman and I move toward Ocean.

  “I think it’s best you both leave.” My back’s rigid and my words come out unbroken. “You’ve said your piece but it’s enough. Please leave.” Sternly looking at them, I don’t bat an eyelash.

  I can do this for Ocean.

  Body and words don’t fail me now.

  The man stares at me and the woman is still wrapped up in herself, she doesn’t acknowledge me. Looking me up and down, the man finally nods and helps his wife up.

  My mind is about to freak out, my legs are loosening under their scrutiny but I must keep it together.

  Switching my eyes back to Ocean for a second, the agony is plastered on his face and weakened body.