by Elin Peer
I stiffened.
“I fucking fantasized about shutting you up like this from the day I met you.”
“What did you just say? With some force, I pushed him off me and sputtered. “I can’t believe I let you touch me when you’re nothing but a douchebag misogynist.”
“What are you talking about?” Leo was on his knees on the bed with his hands spread out in a gesture of “what-the-fuck?”
“You think all we women are good for is shoving your dick down our throats, is that it?”
He scrunched up his face. “What? No! Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“You just said that my tongue was meant to be used for sucking you off and that you’ve wanted to shut me up from the first time you met me.”
“Devils and demons, will you calm down, woman? It should be bloody obvious by now that you turn me on. Of course, I’ve had erotic fantasies about you, and yeah, I might have had a few when you were riling me up at the station.”
“I’m not some puppet you can shut up. I’m opinionated and stubborn and if you can’t deal with that, go find yourself a brainless sex-bot.”
Reaching for my clothes, I stormed out the door and ran to my drone. I didn’t care that I was naked with only a bundle of shoes and clothes in my arms. Leo called after me, telling me to wait a minute, but being angry and hurt I needed to get away and collect myself. Just the idea of having to go back to the station on Monday and see Leo made it hard to breathe. What we had shared for those precious moments had been like finding Nirvana, until he opened his mouth and ruined it all.
CHAPTER 12
Fishing
Leo
After Raven ran from my house, I was left wondering what the hell happened. Not only did I have a nasty hang-over on Saturday from all the beers and shots that I gulped down on Friday night with Zasquash and Solo; I was also worried that Raven might be so upset that she would tell on me.
Everything that had happened between us had been consensual but who would believe me if she said otherwise?
I shut myself inside my house all Saturday thinking the incident through. It was so surreal that I almost wanted to believe it truly had been a dream. But the sock that Raven had forgotten was a reminder that despite how insane it sounded in my own head, Raven had truly been here, and we had made out.
Why had it made her so mad when I told her I’d fantasized about having oral sex with her? I knew she had enjoyed receiving oral sex from me, so what was her problem? Her rant about me being a misogynist had made me confused because I didn’t know the word. But I looked it up and read the definition as dislike, contempt, or prejudice against women, which had me snorting out loud. What a pile of elk-shit. I fucking loved women and maybe we Nmen got a bit overprotective, but that had nothing to do with contempt or prejudice. Did it?
On Sunday, Solo asked me to come and hang at his and Willow’s place. It was a welcome change from staying home and torturing my brain, so of course I went.
What I didn’t think through was that being at their place was a different kind of torture. My eyeballs were hurting from seeing all the loving gazes between Solo and his woman, and now that I’d had a taste of what it meant to kiss and touch a real woman, my longing for a connection had exploded.
I was happy when Solo asked if I wanted to go fishing by the river, as it would just be the two of us.
“Why are you so quiet today? Is something wrong?”
I kept my gaze on the water. “Nah, I’m just working on a case that has me questioning everything.”
“What case?”
“Last week we got called out to a domestic violence case that blew my mind.”
“Why didn’t we hear about it?” Solo turned to me.
“We don’t always call in you Doomsmen. Some cases we handle ourselves.”
“Tell me about this case.”
“A married man had an affair and his wife got so mad that she tried to cut off his cock.”
“Uhh… fuck.” Solo looked pained and pressed his thighs together.
“You might know the woman he cheated with; her name is Gennie and she was married to your friend, Storm.”
“Yes, I’ve heard of her.”
I allowed Solo to digest the disturbing scenario before I continued. “Anyway, what has my mind reeling is the reaction from Gennie. When Raven and I confronted her about it, she showed no sign of guilt or regret. To her it was just sex.”
“Hmm. From what I’ve heard, Gennie is crazy.”
“I don’t think so. I think she just lives by different rules than us. She is a Motlander and sex is purely a physical need for her. She’s not looking to bond with anyone but wants to taste as many men as possible. Her words, not mine.”
“But that makes no sense.”
“Doesn’t it?” I raised a brow. “Think about it, Solo. If the situation was reversed and there were ten million women and a few hundred men, would we be less inclined to settle down with just one or would we want to taste as many as possible? Gennie sees it as spreading her love.”
“That’s because she doesn’t know what true love feels like. Once she finds the man she loves, there’s no way she would share him with other women. Urghh…” Solo shook his body. “Just thinking about sharing Willow gives me the creeps.”
“Yeah, but you’re an Nman. We’re wired to want a wife. But now we’re dealing with Motlanders, who come with completely different conditioning. They think marriage is archaic and limiting in nature.”
“Maybe it is. But plenty of them have married anyway.”
I leaned forward, thinking hard. “Fine. But what if Gennie’s affair with a married man is just the first sign of a new day? There are divorces now, and what then? Before the integration a woman’s destiny was to marry. First in a tournament; and later if he died, she would pick a partner in a widow win or move in with one of her children. The only case of divorce with a Northlander woman that I can remember was that idiot husband who had a drinking problem and threw a bottle at his woman; remember her?”
“Yeah, she married Kilroy after that.”
“Exactly. We have no procedures in play when it comes to someone like Gennie. Do we let her play all these Nmen and wait for them to kill each other? Or do we Nmen adapt and take what’s offered to us from women like her without expecting marriage?”
Solo shifted his fishing rod from one hand to the other. “You think there will be more of her kind?”
“Undoubtedly. So, let me give you a thought experiment and you’ll tell me what you would do, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Women are now beginning to work. For instance, I have a buddy who works as a mentor and he’s got female colleagues from the Motherlands. One of them is single.”
“She’s single? As in divorced?”
“Ehm, no, she grew up here.”
“Ahh, I see, so her mother married and brought her along.”
“Sort of, but the point is that one night he came home to find her in his apartment. He knows that he probably shouldn’t have touched her, but she was inviting him, and they ended up in his bed.”
“Your friend had sex with a single woman?” Solo’s eyes were wide open. “Who is that guy?”
“I’m not giving you his name, and in principle, he didn’t do anything wrong. The woman gave him permission to touch her.”
“Okay…” Solo shook his head. “That’s just a pretty insane thing to happen to a man. Willow kinda did the same thing to me in a bathroom once, and I was convinced you guys would break down the door and kill me for touching her.”
“Well, my friend is pretty scared too. Especially because the woman left in anger.”
“Shit. That’s bad, Leo.”
“I know.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I don’t know all the details but from what he said she was giving him oral sex when he made a comment that upset her.”
“What comment?”
“Something about her using her tongue
for what it was meant for and him having fantasized about shutting her up like that ever since he first met her.”
“And she got mad about it?”
“Furious!”
Solomon lowered his brow. “Women can be sensitive, and maybe this one had no sense of humor.”
“Maybe.”
Solo looked like he was thinking hard. “Did she say why she got upset?”
“Yes. She took it as if he didn’t respect her. You know, as if sex was the only thing women are good for.”
Solomon snorted. “Didn’t respect her – ha. See, that’s where Motlanders get it all wrong. We Nmen respect women a ton, but why shouldn’t a man be allowed to play out a few dirty fantasies in bed? If he had said it outside the bedroom it would have been a different story, but in bed, he should be allowed to play around a little.”
I made a sound of agreement as Solomon kept talking.
“It’s like when Willow and I have sex. She likes it when I place a hand on her throat and squeeze a little, but if I tried anything like it outside the bedroom, she would kick my nuts.”
I raised an eyebrow. “She likes it when you strangle her?”
“Just a little. It’s a sign of trust, and I fucking love that it turns her on that I’m in control.”
“I never took Willow for a submissive woman.”
Solo smiled. “That’s because outside of the bedroom she’s not. My woman controls most things in our lives, and then I bring balance by dominating her in bed. It works!”
“Huh.” I gave a slow nod. “So maybe it’s not what my friend said but rather that the woman didn’t feel respected outside of bed.”
“Could be, but don’t worry; I have a trick that works like magic on women. Give her a foot rub or scalp massage; it makes even hysterical women calm and easy to get along with.”
“I doubt he’ll be allowed to touch her again.”
“Good point. So, what is your friend going to do?”
I shrugged. “Try to talk to her, I assume, but the whole thing has me reflecting on our role in the future. We both know that we’re the ones who’ll face the angry Nmen who got screwed over. Do we kill a guy who lost his temper when he found out his woman is seeing several men? Do we restrict the women from having multiple men at the same time? Just because monogamy makes sense to us doesn’t mean everyone shares our opinion. Historically, other cultures didn’t believe in it and it was normal to have lovers outside the marriage.”
Solo groaned. “That’s just sick.”
“For us, yes. But if one of those people were here maybe they would think we’re the ones who have it all wrong.” I plucked at the grass. “Think about it, Solo.”
“Think about what? To me it’s black and white. It’s the Motlanders who are making it complicated when it’s really not.”
“What if you and Willow decided that you love each other so much that you will only work out together. From now on you can never work out with me and Zas or your other pals. You can only work out with Willow.”
“No way. She keeps herself in shape by dancing and doing yoga shit. I need my hard-core sweaty workouts.”
“Then it would be a compromise for each of you. Maybe you could do yoga or dancing from time to time and maybe she’ll be sweaty with you in return, but mostly you’ll probably have to find something in between that is tolerable to both of you.”
“What kind of shitty deal is that?” Solo wrinkled up his nose. “Willow and I could never be partners. I work out every day, she used to do it three or four times a week, but now with the baby, it’s even less.”
“There’s that.” I nodded. “But that’s how others see monogamy.”
“It’s not the same thing. Working out is a physical need whereas being married is a deep connection that you share with someone.”
“You do realize that working out was a reference to sex, right? Sex is a physical need too.”
“Oh…” Solo frowned. “Now I get it.”
“Monogamy isn’t the only way to live, and from a rational standpoint it makes little sense. Gennie compared it to eating at the same restaurant every night even when sometimes there’s nothing on the menu. Motlanders think we’re crazy when the street is full of other restaurants with new and delicious food you haven’t tasted before.”
Solomon shifted in his seat and looked back at his house. “Willow’d better not go searching for other restaurants.”
“Then you’d better make sure your menu is always full of the classics and spice it up with a few new things as well.”
“What the hell, Leo, how did this conversation get this deep? Did you read some article or something? I feel like I’m talking to Jonah.”
I chuckled. “You mean the councilman?”
“Yeah, he was giving me and Hunter shit about us Nmen not being emotionally aware.” Solo laughed. “I wish he could see us now, talking about workouts and monogamy when we should be fishing in silence.”
Picking up my beer from the grass, I raised it to Solo, who picked up his own beer. “Cheers, my friend.”
“Cheers. And be fucking happy that you’re not your friend who has to go apologize.”
“Huh?”
“You know, the one who had a woman leave in anger. Sounds like he might have to apologize, and I’ve been there. Apologies are so unnatural and forcing them out is like cutting your tongue with a dull razor blade. Sometimes, all you get in return is more shit. You should warn your friend that just because he apologizes doesn’t mean that she’ll forgive him. Willow was so fucking brainwashed that she thought she hated me.”
I looked back at the house. “Clearly, she got over that.”
“Yes. I’m happy I didn’t give up.” Solo took another sip of his beer. “There will never be another woman for me but Willow. I’ve loved her from the first time I saw her, and you know what…”
“What?”
“I’ll do yoga with her if that’s what it takes to stay her gym partner forever.”
I raised my beer again. “Cheers to that.”
Solo nodded. “Yeah, and cheers to your friend. Good thing that we’re not in his shoes.”
My smile was a bit stiff as I returned to fishing while looking down at the shoes that would have to carry me to work on Monday, hoping that Raven would talk to me about what happened between us.
CHAPTER 13
Scam
Raven
I called in sick on Monday. It wasn’t like anyone would miss me since I was only moving unimportant files around. The thought of seeing Leo again made me miserable. He had been my first kiss, and what happened between us had been like opening a door and peeking through to paradise only to learn that it was a mirage.
At least I had left his house with pictures of all my research. To distract myself I focused on laying out the details I had gathered from Dina’s diaries, the article with pictures, Dina’s husband’s name and address, and the notes from Erika’s revealing story about how she had been raped by Lord Wolf.
I kept going back to the picture from Dina’s wedding with the two unknown men that Erika had mentioned were friends of the groom. My instinct told me I needed to find them and using face recognition, I was able to track down one of them and call him up.
Michael told me he had been Henry’s roommate and that he still lived in the same building where Dina had died. The very idea of seeing the place had me excited. What if I could find a clue that everyone else had missed?
My dilemma was that meeting up with a stranger alone was reckless, and I couldn’t ask Leo to come since he had ordered me to stop investigating. I thought about asking my father to go with me, but my need to prove that I was capable made me resent asking a man for help. I was a great fighter and could protect myself. If only I knew if Michael would be unarmed and alone.
Still considering my options, I went down to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich, and that’s when Laura walked by the glass door and the solution presented itself.
Ope
ning the door, I called out to her. “Laura, wait up, where are you going?”
“Running. You wanna come?” Laura was married to Magni and she had been a huge inspiration for me growing up.
“I need your help.”
“With what?”
Holding the door open for her, I gestured for her to come into the kitchen.
“Can I trust you to keep a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I’m investigating the murder of Khan’s and Magni’s sister, Dina.”
“Yes, they told me about your trip to the storage room. Mila tried to tell Magni that she was the one interested in knowing more about Dina, but we’re not stupid. With you joining the police it’s not hard to figure out that you want to solve the case. I’m just not sure giving Magni hope is a good thing.”
“I would like to give him more than hope. I would like to give him answers and closure. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a sister.”
Laura frowned. “Yeah, neither can I. Although my sister and I aren’t very close anymore, losing her would be awful.”
“How can you not be close? Aren’t twins supposed to be mentally linked or something.”
“We’re not identical. I don’t see why we would be any more mentally linked than other siblings. To be honest, we don’t get along well. Michelle is very traditional, and she never understood my need to learn how to fight or the way I stand up to Magni. She feels women should serve their husbands.”
“How can you two have been raised the same?”
“My theory is that we’ve been influenced by our friends. I have Christina, Kya, Athena, and Pearl, who opened my eyes to other ways of living, while Michelle mostly spends time with her best friend Annelise, who is just as traditional as my sister.” Laura’s face scrunched up when she mentioned Annelise.
“You don’t like her, do you?”
“Annelise?”
“Yes.”
“No, but I feel sorry for her. Her grandfather was the richest man in the country until Magni and Khan took him down for treason more than ten years ago. Her whole family lost their social status and influence overnight because of what Mr. Zobel did.”