Vampire's Soul

by Joey W. Hill

  "Huh." Cai watched him in the mirror. Rand switched lanes, passing a farm truck. The passing margin was narrow enough that, less than a blink later, an oncoming semi passed them, rocking the van with its concussion. "You know," Cai observed, "I forgot to ask how long it's been since you've driven a vehicle. This is a little different from a commercial mower."

  "The concept is the same," Rand said, unruffled. "Just faster."

  Cai grunted. His eyelids were drooping, but he forced them to stay open a little longer.

  "End-of-the-earth West Virginia is a big area. Why do you think that pack will have crossed paths with our merry band of Trads?"

  "Fane had traveled there in his younger years, taken pictures. He and Lynn showed them to us when they visited us in Colorado. Some of the geographical features you discussed looked like what was in those pictures. He also described the area, in case they did get their wish to live there and we tried to find them."

  "You were close with them," Cai noted.

  "Yes. A long time ago." Rand lifted an uncomfortable shoulder. "But after Grey...I think Dylef, Sheba and I were afraid to make old contacts, bring trouble to anyone's door. Plus, once we settled in a more human-inhabited area, there were the pups to consider...just the daily demands, and then Dylef and my relationship wasn't something we felt like hiding, and we weren't sure how Fane and Lynn would feel about it. The years stretched out. We should have gone to see them."

  The reasons not to have done so seemed ridiculous now. Rand pushed away the too-familiar surge of guilt and continued. "Most shifters do live primarily as humans, though on the fringes of towns and cities, so they can let their wolves run. This pack that might be near where these Trads are...I guess you could say Fane and Lynn are the wolf version of Trads, in their preference to be more wolf than human, though they do maintain connections in the human world. Their children have sought professions in those worlds, while the parents have stayed in the forest. Fane runs a home-building company that specializes in mountain get-aways, vacation homes, which lets him stay on the fringes of the deeper forest he prefers."

  "Sounds like the perfect fit for you," Cai persisted. "You prefer to be more wolf than human, and I expect he could find a place for you on one of his building crews."

  "It's not that simple," Rand repeated, with a touch of impatience. "Even beyond protocols, there's a probationary period. Some are immediately rejected as a threat."

  No matter that he looked as if he was half-asleep, the vampire proved his brain was sharp and alert as he put it together. "There's room for only one alpha, and you're definitely an alpha."

  "A sterile one, for all intents and purposes," Rand said, though it hurt to say it that way.

  "One that won't snake in on another alpha's territory."

  "No. And what I am, who I am...it's confusing to the way a wolf pack works. Wolves like continuity, consistency. Things that make sense. When a leader is already in place, but pack members begin to defer to me, it causes problems, even if I'm not making a play for the leadership. Because..."

  "Because one of the main roles of the alpha male is mating with the alpha female. You did it with Sheba. You can't fake it enough to find yourself a place?"

  Rand kept his eyes on the road. "You should rest. You're not at full strength yet and the sun will rise in a couple hours."

  "None of my business. Got it." But Rand could feel Cai's eyes resting on him before he stretched out behind the second set of seats. A rattling, and the sound of the floor trapdoor opening, told Rand the vampire had decided to avail himself of the space between the actual and false floors. Earth packed in the walls around the cramped space made it possible for a mature vampire to travel during sunlight. While Jacob had warned that it wouldn't be incredibly comfortable, at least Cai was used to digging himself into the earth, so the familiar scent might make it less uncomfortable for him than for most vampires.

  Rand turned his mind to the pack he'd discussed with Cai. The last time they'd crossed paths had been out in Colorado, before Sylvan had died. Lynn's aging mother was in West Virginia, so Fane and she had decided to move back there. They'd been part of a California pack, but the dynamic in that was changing, growing too large, and they were ready to split off with their offspring and form their own. Lynn had sent Sheba a postcard shortly before Grey's invasion, noting that her mother had passed and they were going to move deeper into the woods. Go off grid, as she and Fane had longed to do for some time. Their two litters were growing up strong and healthy, the foundation to a good family pack.

  When he, Dylef and Sheba had to cut and run, they'd played with the idea of tracking Fane and Lynn down, but they'd detoured to Tennessee when Dylef had the good job opportunity there with the Park Service. Since Sheba and Dylef both gravitated toward the human world, Rand had followed their wishes because he loved them.

  If he'd tried harder to get them to join Fane, they'd have had more protection. So many pointless what ifs. It was what it was. To Cai it was all about practical considerations. Go join this pack. Do this, do that. Yet when Rand was close to another wolf shifter, the memories of Dylef, Sheba and the pups crowded in, so hard he could barely breathe. Seeing another pack play and touch, rub against one another, run together...

  If the hunter had shot him in the chest three times, it could not hurt worse than how Rand felt when he remembered those things.

  Cai's initial reluctance to get back into Rand's head meant that he'd missed why Rand had been able to accept the third mark so readily--after they got past the Split part, that is. It was a way to be in a pack a different way, bonded to the vampire. It helped ease that ache in Rand's chest, without taking him too close to the jagged grief that made him worry he wasn't ever going to be strong enough to get that close to his own kind again.

  Cai was right. Lone wolves didn't exist except where one was too injured or broken to be part of the pack. Or, in the case of a shifter, one who had no idea where he belonged anymore. Or if Rand could bring himself to want to belong.

  He started as an arm slid over his chest. Cai rested his chin on the seat back. Rand had been so deep in his head, he hadn't heard the vampire emerge again. Cai's fingers tunneled inside his shirt, caressing his chest. He didn't say anything. Didn't indicate whether he'd heard Rand's thoughts. Just sat there and stroked while Rand drove. He stayed that way until the sun started to threaten the horizon with glimmers of rose and gold light. Then Cai squeezed his pectoral lightly, offered a teasing caress of his nipple, and withdrew, putting himself beneath the false floor again.

  Rand drew a steadying breath and decided to fish around in the bag for food. It was better than thinking about what it all meant. He found a pack of homemade cookies and several ham sandwiches, and ate them all, which also helped. Food always did, but the quiet solidarity of a very unpredictable and hard to understand vampire had as well.

  By late afternoon, Rand had reached their destination, a national park where the hiking trails would start leading them deep into the mountains and beyond the touch of human civilization. He parked in a corner of the lot and laid the seat back, intending to catch some sleep before twilight. He used the burner phone to text Gideon where the van would be and their current location. Greenwald's cronies would probably come and pick it up.

  As Rand drifted toward a doze, he thought about his earlier conversation with Daegan and Gideon. Both of them were hunters, in every sense of the word. Despite the earlier confrontation with Cai, Rand had felt comfortable in their presence. He thought Gideon would have made a pretty good wolf. He'd also been honest with Cai about his understanding of Cai's actions, for when Gideon opened the door for Rand at their quarters, Rand had scented no lingering antipathy toward the absent vampire.

  Anwyn was curled up on the couch in their suite, a glass of wine close to hand and a book on her lap. She wore a light robe that clung to her curves and suggested that the two vampires had found other ways to restore Gideon's strength.

  Gideon was putting on a f
resh shirt when Rand arrived; he'd opened the door with it unbuttoned and open. He'd already changed into a non-bloodstained pair of jeans and, though the wound was still angry and red, it was knitting and Gideon looked steady on his feet. Daegan's blood had restored him quickly.

  The female vampire appeared wary of Rand, but didn't show the open hostility she had toward Cai. "Is your Master healing?" she asked politely, surprising him.

  "He's not my Master, but yes." Despite the assertion, Rand felt an unmistakable satisfaction, knowing his own blood had provided equal benefit to Cai.

  "Good. Means he'll be leaving sooner than later," she said.

  "You're always saying I need to be taken down a peg or two," Gideon pointed out to her. "Some vamp has the cojones to do it; excellent fast strike, by the way"--Gideon tossed that to Rand--"and you get mad at him."

  "Call it the capriciousness of women," she said, an edge to her voice.

  "The craziness, you mean." He snorted, but his expression upon her was fond. Daegan sat in another chair, cleaning and sharpening that sword. He nodded to Rand without speaking.

  It put Rand in an odd place. Cai wouldn't want him making apologies or excuses for him, and it wasn't Rand's place to do so. Yet this world had so many unfamiliar protocols for vampires and servants. He didn't know if showing up like this to get the information they'd been invited to have would be considered rude, since it was the servant who had come for it, instead of the vampire.

  Gideon's relaxed behavior helped ease Rand's mind on it, particularly as he spoke again. "When I wasn't worrying about my heart getting ripped out of my chest, I noticed you're a good fighting team. You slid in there almost seamlessly to take on Brian. Good thing you didn't crush his arm. Lyssa's almost as fond of that geek as she is of Jacob.

  "You should do some of that," Gideon continued thoughtfully. "Spar with a pair like me and Daegan so you can coordinate moves and tactics. It's done wonders for my fighting style when I'm with him."

  He nodded to Daegan. The vampire had sheathed the sword, the scabbard balanced on his knees as he watched the conversation with an unreadable expression.

  Rand remembered hunting with Dylef, moving together as one, cornering a deer, bringing down the creature with the help of Sylvan's offspring, to feed Sheba when she was pregnant. "I'll keep it in mind. Is that some of the information you want to share with me?"

  "Yeah. We'll go over some other stuff. If Cai's as well-versed with the Trads as he said, he's right. He doesn't need a lot of direction from us on that part, but I suspect this is the first time he's going in with backup, so most of our suggestions will have to do with different extraction scenarios and working as a team. I get the feeling that's not been his forte in the past."

  Rand was out of practice himself. Except for the disastrous fight with Grey and his betas to help Sheba and her pups escape in Colorado, he and Dylef had never refined their team hunting skills for combat. Though if they had, and had later drawn the teenagers into that training, maybe they would have held their own better against Grey.

  Earth and stone, his guilt was a festering wound that never healed. Ignoring it to give full attention to what might be beneficial for Dovia's rescue, he listened intently to Daegan and Gideon for the next half hour. He kept part of his mind open to Cai during that time, sensing his presence and proximity, and verifying he was still resting. Rand didn't want the vampire to take off without him. That was why he kept touching that connection.

  That was what he told himself.

  Returning to the present, Rand realized he'd drifted off. It was twilight. As he let himself come fully awake, he stretched, then ate the last of the cookies. Vending machines were placed by the restrooms, and they advertised coffee. Probably didn't taste all that good, but it was coffee. He left the vehicle to get himself and Cai some. After he returned, he sat and sipped from his cup, watching the last few hikers and dogwalkers emerge from the woods and head off for the night. It wasn't long before he heard the rasp of the trapdoor opening.

  He handed the full and still steaming cup over his shoulder without looking, smiling a little as it was taken from his hand.

  "You know," a grumpy voice said, "technically caffeine has no proven effect on vampires."

  "I saw that study in the latest Scientific American," Rand said. "But I figured you might like the taste."

  He handed back several sugar packets and one cream. A pause, then those were also removed from his grip, the vampire's fingers brushing his.

  "Okay, that's creepy damn specific mind reading, wolf."

  "Now you know how I feel, having you crawling around in my head."

  "Wise ass." A rattle of paper as Cai added the condiments. "For all we know, Lord Brian has submitted articles to Scientific American. Vampire scientists. Next thing, there will be vampire lawyers, a redundant term in so many ways."

  The pause drew out as they drank coffee and watched the night darken.

  "You want to kill him, but you don't hate him, do you?" Rand asked. "Gideon. Because you get it."

  Silence. Rand wisely said nothing for a few minutes, letting Cai sip his coffee.

  "Yeah," the vampire said. "But you said you have a code. It's like that, right? I may get why he did it, but he still killed someone whose death I feel like I should avenge, because Lodell did me a solid."

  Rand glanced back. The vampire's hair was tousled from his sleep, his blue eyes annoyed, his mouth set in a line. The line of questioning was bugging him. On a whim, Rand leaned back and brushed his mouth over his, tasting coffee and Cai. He used his thumb to remove some of the coffee residue from his lip. The blue eyes flickered in surprise.

  "You have a strange sense of honor," Rand observed. "You kill humans to feed, but you avenge your sire because of the kindness he showed you, and we're here, going after a female vampire you feel certain is dead or wishes she was."

  "That's because you're considering it from your human side. Think like a wolf," Cai advised. "Have you ever seen a rabbit in a meadow, nibbling on a tasty flower, enjoying a sunny day? That's a happy creature. He could die in a second, has probably seen lots of his family and fellow rabbits caught and killed, so he enjoys that moment. Versus humanoids, so caught up in baggage, they can't feel the sun shine on their faces. Even if it was half the distance it is to earth and fried them like an egg."

  "You're a vampire. You don't feel the sun."

  "Okay, go with moonlight, or a fucking sun lamp. You know what I'm trying to say. Don't worry about my contradictions. Humans will stop being annoying before you can figure those out. Focus on that meadow. Sunny pep talk over."

  Cai exited the car, crumpling up the cup and tossing it in the trash as he shouldered the pack Jacob had also provided them. It was stocked with changes of clothing and other supplies, like Lord Brian's vials and gum.

  Rand shook his head, but followed his lead. He thought about offering to carry the pack, but after his nap, Cai looked as if he was suffering no residual effects from the katana. Vampires really did have spectacular healing powers. Or Cai was right about shifter blood. Or both.

  They locked the van and left it behind. Within a few miles, Cai stopped, checked his compass, and left the trail to head into the unmarked terrain. It was full dark now, their eyes gleaming in the moonlight. Rand began to unbutton his shirt. "Mind carrying these clothes in the pack, in case I end up needing them?"

  Cai squatted to his heels, back against a tree, gazing upon him as if he had hours to watch Rand strip. "Nope."

  Rand eyed him. "Don't you ever get tired of sex?"

  "Vampires have to be dead to be tired of sex. Even then, they're probably checking out the available action in the line to the Pearly Gates." The vampire tossed him a bland look that concealed none of the sensual intent behind his steady gaze.

  Snorting, Rand stripped off shirt, jeans, shoes, socks and underwear, folded them neatly and brought them to put in the pack. Cai accommodated that, then his gaze slid up Rand's tall, bare form. "What if I d
id want sex?" the vampire asked pleasantly. "If I demanded it?"

  Rand shook his head. "I don't take orders from you."

  "Only a pack leader, hmm?"

  Rand nodded. "That's the way it works." He knew Cai was thinking about the thoughts Rand had had a few hours ago, about the third mark and its appeal as a substitute pack. Then it had made the vampire come to him, stroke him, share a silent companionship. Which was nice. But he was going down another road now, making Rand respond a different way. Provocation had several meanings, after all.

  Cai glanced around. "I don't see a pack here. Didn't see any at Greenwald's house, either. Just a lot of vampires circling one another like suspicious dogs."

  "Some of them seemed pretty well bonded with their servants."

  Cai shook his head. "Vampires can't have relationships with their servants. You heard Brian. Want to be my property, able to do only what I say?"

  Neither Jacob, Gideon nor Debra had seemed like slaves, though it was undeniably a far more extreme form of Dominant and submissive relationship than humans sometimes embraced. It had a stronger echo in the structure of a wolf pack; however, except for packs led by those like Grey, anyone could leave at any time, if they didn't agree with the structure. Like Fane and Lynn. So maybe it was different.

  But there was an odd look in the vampire's gaze. Something was going on in Cai's head, and for once Rand couldn't quite work it out. Which meant it was something beyond his understanding, no point of reference.

  "We should get going," Rand said mildly, and moved away, preparing to shift. He'd ponder it while they traveled.

  The vampire leaped for him, an elegant, powerful move, like a dragon exploding into flight. He tackled Rand and they rolled across the ground, with Cai ending up on top, Rand on his stomach in a pin.

  "What the--" Rand turned, fought, and they rolled further down the slope, collecting leaves and dirt as they went. Rand cursed as sticks poked him in tender, unclothed places.

  The vampire had an edge on him tonight, because Rand had been driving while Cai had been sleeping. Rand threw an elbow and slipped a headlock, only to find himself back on his stomach again, Cai's hands locked on his wrists, the vampire's weight sitting on his ass.