Hard Fall

by Brenda Rothert

I hesitated for a second before saying, “I shouldn’t have left, Wes.”

  His expression softened. “This didn’t happen because you weren’t here. This is all on Susan and Patrick; they were supposed to be keeping the kids safe.”

  “No, I know. What I mean is…not because of what’s going on, but…I wish I hadn’t left.”

  He held my gaze, searching out if I meant it or not, and said, “It’s okay, Hadley. We’re gonna be okay.”

  I nodded, unable to talk past the lump in my throat. I wanted us to be okay so badly, but it couldn’t happen until Annalise was safely home with us again. How had I ever thought any job was more important than being with her and Benny?

  “Let’s go,” Wes said, taking my hand and leading me across the room.

  He led the way out of the house to the rental car he’d gotten at the airport—a minivan, which was parked on the curb. I gave him a confused look.

  “It was all they had so I took it,” he said.

  We got in and drove to a neighborhood a few miles away that other searchers hadn’t gotten to yet, my hands clutched together in my lap the whole way.

  “I need her to be okay,” I said softly. “She has to be okay.”

  Wes parked the car and we split up, him on one side of the street and me on the other. I tried not to think about how close we were getting to sunset as I called out Annalise’s name and walked up random driveways to look in people’s backyards.

  I said a silent prayer that Annalise was safe. Everything I’d ever considered a problem paled in comparison to this. Why had I been so stupid about things with me and Wes? We were happy. We were doing well with the kids. Whether we told the judge it was me or him raising the kids, we could still do it our way. We just needed a chance.

  “Hadley!”

  I turned at the sound of Wes calling my name, my heart pounding in hopeful anticipation. He wouldn’t yell for me so urgently unless…

  “You found her?” I cried as I ran toward him.

  He moved his phone away from his mouth. “Not me. Nash did, though.” I dropped to my knees on the sidewalk, sobbing with relief as Wes went back to the phone call. “Yeah, text me the address and call that police officer. Stay with her. Thank you so much, man.”

  Wes helped me up and we both ran to the minivan.

  “She’s okay?” I asked him as he started the car and pulled away from the curb.

  “Yeah, she’s good. Nash found her at a park about three miles from the house. She was sitting on a bench with an older guy, petting his dog.”

  “Oh my god.” I shook my head. “Three miles? How did she even make it that far? I’m never leaving the kids with Patrick and Susan, Wes. Never again. They can have me arrested if they want.”

  He patted my knee. “Let’s get to Annalise. We’ll deal with them later.”

  We got to the park and Wes dropped me off by the playground, where Nash said he and Annalise would be waiting. I spotted them sitting at a picnic table, eating snow cones, and I rushed toward them.

  “Aunt Hadley!” Annalise cried as I got close.

  She passed her snow cone to Nash and got up from the table, running to greet me. I swept her into my arms and held her tightly, crying with relief.

  “I got lost,” she said in a tiny voice. “Am I in trouble?”

  “No, baby.” I pulled back and cupped her face in my hands. “You’re not in any trouble. I’m just so glad you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”

  “Uncle Wes!” she cried, looking behind me.

  Wes came up and hugged her, her feet leaving the ground as he picked her up and held her close.

  “Thank God,” he said.

  The police officer that had been at the house pulled up in a police cruiser and got out of the driver’s seat. Patrick and Susan exited the back seat of the car and ran over to us.

  I glared at them, silently daring Susan to say a single word to Annalise about this being her fault. I was done being nice to Susan. When I thought about the horrible things that could have happened to Annalise because of their negligence, I wanted to rage.

  “Wes and I will be staying at the house until the next hearing,” I said coldly.

  Susan narrowed her eyes at me. “I never meant for this to happen. We love our grandchildren.”

  Wes approached and put an arm around my shoulders, addressing Patrick and Susan.

  “We aren’t leaving until the case is settled.”

  Patrick nodded, silencing his wife with a look. “You’re both welcome at the house, of course.”

  “Aunt Hadley, I’m hungry,” Annalise said from a few feet away. “Can we go to the place with the chickens?”

  “Chick-fil-A?” I asked her.

  She grinned. “Yeah, I like those chickens.”

  “Of course we can, baby.” I looked at Susan. “Why don’t we take her to get some food and then we’ll meet you guys back at the house?”

  “Okay, we’ll see you there. I’ll feed Benny if he’s hungry.”

  She wasn’t snarly and combative now, but I knew she wasn’t giving up on getting custody of the kids. Losing Annalise was going to hurt their case considerably, though. I was sorry it had happened, but hoping that it would lead to the judge doing the right thing and returning custody of the kids to Wes and me.

  Annalise asked to ride on Wes’s shoulders, and as he swung her up there, she said, “That was two weeks, right? You guys are coming back home now?”

  I smiled up at her. “That’s right.”

  “Yay!” She threw her arms in the air and cheered.

  Wes put her down when we got to the minivan and he fished the keys from his pocket.

  “Uncle Wes has a new car,” Annalise said, clapping. “It’s beautiful!”

  Wes gave me a look, shaking his head.

  “I’m never buying a minivan,” he said under his breath.

  “You so are,” I told him, laughing. “Might as well get some white knee socks and white sneakers, too.”

  “Shit,” he said softly, looking at me. “There’s no car seat in the rental.”

  “Can we have one of the guys at the house bring us Ben’s car?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll ask Lars,” he said, taking out his phone.

  “His name is Thor,” Annalise said, giving Wes an admonishing look.

  I bent down and hugged her again, then kissed each of her cheeks several times. Lauren had told me so many times that she loved her kids so much she sometimes thought she’d burst—that it was a love like no other.

  And now, I knew what she meant. I felt it, too. And I was never, ever going back to a life without this love.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Wes

  Chaos. The next few hours were absolute fucking chaos. The women, from Hadley to Susan to Tori, started to cry as soon as we walked into the house with Annalise. Once they started to cry, Benny seemed to think it was his job in life to join them, and he did it louder and more vigorously than anyone else. By the time we got him settled down, everyone heard the story about how Nash found Annalise, and the police finally left. I was wiped out. I did order pizza for everyone, though, to thank my teammates and several neighbors that had all joined in the search.

  Annalise fell asleep with a slice of pizza in her hand and Hadley got up to carry her upstairs before Susan could move. I wasn’t sure if she was going to force the issue of a bath or just put her to bed, but Hadley and I had no plans to go anywhere tonight. Once we’d told Patrick and Susan we were sleeping in the guest room until the hearing next week, they’d quietly excused themselves and gone to bed. It was probably better that way, since I had a lot I wanted to say to them, but I wouldn’t do it in front of our friends and neighbors. I wouldn’t say anything in front of Annalise either.

  I needed to know what had happened, though. How, why, what, all the details. Not just because they fucked up, but also because I’d need the information so I could make sure it didn’t happen again. Annalise was smart and headstrong, so this
type of behavior didn’t necessarily surprise me, but it wasn’t a risk we could take in the future. She couldn’t just leave the house when she was being punished for something, and the more I understood about why it happened the better I would be at preventing it. At least that’s what I told myself. Maybe I really just wanted to make Patrick and Susan admit they were dumbasses who couldn’t take care of our kids.

  Our kids.

  Mine and Hadley’s.

  Ours.

  Us.

  “We’re going to take off,” Drew said, startling me back to the present as he and Nina got up.

  I shook his hand. “Thanks again,” I told him. “We really appreciate you rallying the troops to help out.”

  “That’s what friends do.” He nodded and took Nina’s hand as they headed out.

  The other guys followed suit and within fifteen minutes, the house was quiet except for Benny cooing from his high chair. I’d put him there as I’d cleaned up the kitchen and I scooped him up before heading upstairs. I heard Hadley reading to Annalise in her room and opted not to interrupt because if I brought Benny in there, it would take forever to get them to settle down again. Annalise had probably woken up in the tub and now was having trouble settling down. Benny was probably overtired and overexcited too, but after a week away from him, I brought him into the guest room with me so I could spend a little time with him.

  I stretched out on the bed and plopped Benny on his stomach on my chest. He pretended to crawl, sticking his butt up in the air and wiggling it. Then he gave me a toothless grin and I laughed. He had Ben’s dark hair and Lauren’s light eyes, which made me equal parts nostalgic and sad. I’d see Ben and Lauren in their children’s faces forever, and while I was happy for their memory to live on, it was heartbreaking to think they wouldn’t remember their parents at all.

  “You tired yet, buddy?” I asked him, pulling him up into a sitting position on my stomach since I was mostly sprawled out.

  “Da da.” He said the word haltingly and then blew a raspberry.

  Oh, holy shit. He’d just called me Dada. He would never know Ben. And as the man raising him, it was inevitable he would call me Dad. Daddy. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out a few times. Sometimes the grief washed over me with such ferocity it was like being in that hospital room all over again. That scratchiness behind my eyes was all too familiar now, but this time it was mixed with joy.

  Da da.

  “Da da da da da!” Benny was on a roll and I opened my eyes again, refusing to miss out on such an important moment, no matter how hard it was. I wouldn’t replace Ben, but I’d step in and fill his shoes, even though they were huge.

  “What about Mama?” I asked him.

  He frowned at me. “Da da da!”

  “Well, we’ll work on mama tomorrow, okay?” I kissed the top of his head, his silky hair tickling my skin. I hadn’t realized how much I loved these kids until I’d been away from them for a week.

  “Hey.” Hadley came into the room, smiling down at Benny.

  “Annalise finally settle down?”

  “She fell asleep at dinner, but she was filthy so I put her in the bath anyway, and that woke her right up. She had to tell me every detail of her adventure today, twice, and then said I had to read all her favorite stories to her because Grandma doesn’t read them.”

  I scowled. “I can’t wait to get them back in court. I was going to call you to tell you about our new attorney, but then this happened and I kind of forgot about it.”

  “Oh?” She sat on the bed cross-legged, one hand resting on Benny’s back as he cuddled into my shoulder.

  I told her about Regina Rittenhouse and how I’d gotten my father involved.

  “He’s a powerhouse,” I told her. “I don’t usually go to him for stuff like this because he’s way over the top, but it was time to get custody finalized. One way or another.”

  She was gently tickling Benny’s toes and he giggled, his foot moving out of the way and then going back for more.

  “I want you to know,” she said after a moment. “I’m not giving up these kids. Regardless of what we have to do to get custody at the hearing, I’m going to be in their lives.”

  “I never suggested otherwise,” I said slowly, watching her. She wouldn’t look at me, so I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I knew her well enough to sense she needed a little time to formulate her thoughts.

  “What I mean is…” She cleared her throat and picked up Benny, pulling him against her. “I love these kids and the life we started to build here. So even if we put your name on some document that gives you custody, don’t think that when you’re tired of me—of us—that I’m just going to go away quietly. I will sell everything I own to fight for shared custody if you try to cut me out of their lives.”

  “That’s what you think of me?” I asked in surprise, sitting up a little as I met her gaze. “That I would do something like that?”

  “I know what this is and I’m okay with it. What we have right now is good. It’s fun and passionate and we’ve actually become friends through all of this, but I know I’m not the love of your life or anything so—”

  “Okay, wait, I feel like I’ve missed something.” I cocked my head. “Last time we talked, you were worried about your job, your career, your life back in New York…and that’s why you went back. Has something changed?” I knew what I wanted her to say, but somehow, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. Nothing with us was ever easy.

  “I told you—I love the kids and the life we built here.” She bounced Benny as he started to squirm to get free. “And after what happened with Annalise, it’s pretty obvious that we’re the right people to raise the kids. Not Patrick and Susan.”

  “So you’re leaving New York?” Excitement coursed through me at the prospect of having her back here with me. With us.

  She nodded. “I haven’t worked out exactly what I’m going to do yet, but the kids need me.”

  I breathed in slowly, trying to read between the lines. She thought the kids needed her but hadn’t said anything about me. Didn’t she know how much I needed her too? Did she have feelings for me or was this all about the custody battle?

  I’d never been unsure of myself when it came to women, but there had never been a woman in my life like Hadley. Hell, there had never been anyone in my life that impacted me like Hadley.

  “Promise me, Wes.”

  “What?” I looked up in confusion. “Promise you what?”

  “That no matter what the custody agreement says on paper, you won’t send me packing once this thing between us burns itself out or you fall in love with someone or whatever.” She lifted her chin a notch, as if daring me to disappoint her.

  “Babe, that should go without saying.” I ran a hand through my hair and resisted a yawn. “But I think—” I had to stop talking as the yawn won out, the day’s stressors apparently catching up to me.

  “Wes?” She leaned over and lightly pressed her lips to mine.

  “Yeah?” God, I fucking needed to touch her, and I slid a hand around her waist, pulling both her and Benny against my chest.

  “I’m physically exhausted and mentally drained too. Can we just get Benny settled and go to sleep? I can’t think anymore. I can barely keep my eyes open. To be honest, I’d love to just curl up in your arms and go to sleep.”

  “That sounds like the best thing I’ve heard in a week,” I said. “Let me run down and warm up a bottle for him, and once he’s in bed, we can do just that.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  I padded down the stairs to the kitchen, my thoughts whirling as I hunted for a clean bottle and Benny’s formula. It seemed like Susan had moved everything in the kitchen and it took a minute to find what I needed, but I mixed formula in with the bottled spring water we used and then put it in the microwave. As the seconds ticked by my thoughts drifted back to Hadley.

  I was probably as exhausted as she was, but I wasn’t too tired to realize she didn’
t have a clue that I was in love with her. I didn’t know for sure whether or not she felt the same, but I was counting on it because we’d been through too much together over the last few months to give up on this little family we were building. It hadn’t started out that way, and even though I would have given everything I owned to have Ben and Lauren back, that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I had their beautiful babies. All I wanted in life was to raise them with the infuriatingly intense, passionate, smart, sexy woman who loved them as much as I did.

  Raising them might be the easy part, though.

  The hard part would be convincing Hadley not just that I loved her, but how right we were for each other. How good we would be together.

  That was definitely going to be a challenge because I’d obviously dropped the ball so far. I was up to the task, though. One way or another.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Hadley

  I relished the pause on the other end of the phone, smiling as Liz processed the two-week notice I’d just given her.

  “I’m willing to keep you on,” she finally said. “At a lower salary of course, but we can negotiate something where you can work remotely all the time.”

  “I appreciate it, but my heart’s just not there anymore. I want to pursue something new.”

  “Something new?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been feeling like I had no professional options for so long, but I was just seeing things the wrong way. I have unlimited options and I’m excited about my future.”

  Was I rubbing it in her face at this point? A little. But if anyone deserved it, it was Liz.

  “I’ll just remind you about the noncompete clause in your contract,” she said sharply.

  “Oh, I know. But it’s only a year, and it would take me that long to get all the groundwork laid if I decide to launch something new.”

  A pause. “Launch? Are you going to start your own magazine?”

  Probably. But I wasn’t telling Liz that. I wanted her to spend time trolling the staff listings for other magazines for the next year, wondering what I was doing but not knowing.