Desensitizer

by Kaero Davis

  And they’ll place the noose firmly around my neck,

  I’ll dangle there until they know that I’m dead,

  Suffocating slowly should the noose fail its intent,

  They’ve labelled me a criminal,

  Though my guilt is steeply minimal,

  The evidence won against my trial,

  No matter that I’d pledged denial,

  My time is up, it can’t be bought,

  And now I face the gallows walk,

  I face the crowds and their merciless eyes,

  They’re yelling and screaming their shrieking cries,

  I’m subject to their scorning despise,

  And read my rites before I die,

  I’m asked of any last words for myself,

  To which I reply ‘we’ll meet in hell’

  The lever’s pulled and the floor folds in,

  My neck is broken, paying for my sin,

  I watch from afar, my body in sway,

  ’til death arrives to take me away,

  Descending down to my destined space,

  To formidable torment and torn away grace,

  Exit Scenario

  ““Wait, shit, this can’t be right!” I exclaimed as death had teleported us through the veil and to the kingdom above the clouds. “Yes, it is, and you look mighty surprised,” he replied, “I, I was convicted of theft and was culled for my crime – I really didn’t think I was coming here,” I answered.

  “I see you’re confused, but not to worry – thing’s aren’t really what they seem, Jesus was watching – the good lords got your six, bro,” Peter spoke more cheerily, “I don’t understand?” “it’ll all be much clearer to you soon, please, enter beyond the gates and enjoy your stay here in paradise,” “Sure…uh, sure, thanks – I will,” and with a widened smile on my face I wandered on through and saw my previously passed family members.

  They welcomed me warmly and said they were excited to learn I was arriving. The father had filled them in previously, and over the most gorgeous meal I’d ever had – it was soon explained to me, the reason why I turned up here instead of where I thought I might have gone. And the air was finally cleared.” – Buo.

  Enter Scenario

  “A LOT of people have misunderstood me in the past. And I’ve missed out on plenty of opportunities because of this. I’m real, and I think that some folk have had the wrong idea about me, impressed as some may have been – wondering still if I was for real. Pfft, as if I’m some dream come true. I’ve always found it hard to believe when some have called me handsome. I get ‘beautiful’ a lot, thanks to my dream lady Dazzierre, my Diamond, but I’m still very self-conscious of my body. Got moobs, so I’m no supermodel – plus I’m getting older and far less limber as I used to be. The lovin’ I get ’n give is great but slowing down and I can feel it. sometimes still, there might be this giant surge of testosterone and adrenalin and I need to release it safely before I get aggressive – irritable and having strange violent dreams again. And yes, I’ve had violent dreams, unconsciously lashing out at previous partners/lovers etc. but I wrote this piece to look deep inside my own self and see what it is I really stand for, what I would fight for – who I am and who I still really want to be…what’s truly there deep down inside and what I believe I feel I still am (regardless of the coarse exterior). It’s just raw, and might need some refining…” – Solt.

  Gentleman At Heart

  I never want to take more than I can give back,

  I would work my hands raw to never be labelled slack,

  I would fight my battles one on one, not in packs,

  And I’d defend the meeker, should they be under attack,

  I’ll treat my lady with such gentle, kind, compassion,

  Feed others before myself if there were minute rations,

  Nurture any person I meet the moment I know they’re nascent,

  Never be so ignorant that I can’t learn a new lesson,

  I want to see the best in all, not their shortfalls,

  I want to come running every time I hear their calls,

  I want to sympathize and empathize, never prey and maul,

  And I never want to forget myself or what I’m fighting for,

  I want to be the best friend, whom on anyone can depend,

  Understand when it’s difficult for others to comprehend,

  I want to be angelic, such a real God send,

  Or at least have others believe I’m real and not pretend,

  I want to be the guy others want on their side,

  And always tell the truth, never any lies,

  To be trusted to confide, never felt as though I pry,

  Wipe away the tears from eyes that I see cry,

  I’m a gentleman at heart though I don’t quite look the part,

  It might sound bizarre but I don’t like snide remarks,

  And I won’t try outsmart nor raise a darkened hardened guard,

  For I bar disregard for any and all forms of scars..

  Exit Scenario

  “It takes a lot of guts to be open and honest. It takes a lot of guts to be real, to be you. But the more honest and sincere and real you can be, will be rewarding. I can’t help being so expressive – it’s my nature. I feel like I have a compulsion of sorts to get it out of me before I explode. And I hate being bored. But by being me – and being real, I draw all sorts of crowds, and some not so favourable. I say it takes a lot of guts because there are going to be those out there who’ll think I’m a pussy – a skirt, female to cavort about spreading my emotion or feeling. Some folk out there will be a hell of a lot uncomfortable with me because I can be all too extreme. Sadly, the more they fight – the heavier I get. There are of course idiots out there who’ll make you feel uncomfortable and meek because they themselves feel inadequate and think that by being an arsehole – they’re avoiding showing what people already see in them. Newsflash! Karma’s coming fuckface! And I’m spreadin’ the love – and I’ll be as expressive as I can be, even if fucker’s all wanna call me a fag, a poof or gay. I’m making people laugh and entertaining them – rather than bullying them and making them feel inferior – they’re just as important as you or me you fucker – sit down, shut up and get in on the laugh as well, FUCK… jeez, some people…sometimes the shit makes me want to fuck off and go huff down a joint – sorry, I meant ciggy…” – Solt.

  Enter Scenario

  “As you know, life is short. Not all of us live as we’d really like to, but would it be so bad if we did? Who’s really to say you can’t have this or that? Where does it come from? Why? It’s normal to feel the things we feel sometimes, it’s normal to want the prize.

  You DO know it was Lucifer that taught man he has a choice, don’t you? Breaking the rules has nothing to do with it. God told Adam not to take the fateful apple from the tree, and why? Because God said it was the fruit of wisdom.

  Why was Adam forbidden to seek wisdom and be cast out for that? Here’s some wisdom for you, God lied. The fruit never boosted wisdom in the brain, it was forbidden to go near the tree because God never wanted Adam to have had that chanced meeting with the snake – who – taught him, he didn’t have to do all these things his father ordered.

  Does anyone ever really like doing something they’re made to? Especially if it’s against their nature? Does anyone really want to be told the answer is ‘NO’ without being told a decent, rational, reasonable answer to why? IF we weren’t being lied to – or being held information from in the first place, would it be so bad? To be made to do something against your nature or your will with no confirmation of the endurance ever making any difference on a grander scale,

  That you’re just wasting or slaving away to no end for a perceivable benefit of a kind – eventually, to no avail, no light at the end of the tunnel. The devil has been on to the truth t
he entire time, yet he’s been under credited for his influence in the good. The devil himself has lines he doesn’t cross, any unbiased rational man who really used his head would ask what they were and how to avoid them.

  Sin, is something anyone can be guilty of but Satan himself has particulates that divide the everyday sins from your real deadly ones. I would say hypocrisy is one of the worst, and I am certain that Lucifer would agree.

  And in that case – there’ll be a whole lot of people on this earth who will burn a thousand times worse than they’d ever dream. The people who think they’re safe no matter what, when, they are by far a higher risk to themselves than they’ll ever know.” – Fumae-Fe.

  Hallowed Be, Humanity

  Give ’em something, give ’em anything,

  Thanks for nothing or hell for breeding,

  Be the man and give, and give a good damn,

  Give ’em a reckoning of what it takes to be the man,

  What is more human than our basic primal needs?

  But to FIGHT, and to FUCK, and to fucking FEED,

  The inner beast of every man is forever prowling,

  So, get yourself desensitized and stop all of your scowling,

  Forget what it is to be refined and civil,

  Inside of every man is a little rebel,

  Maintain the balance and keep it level,

  Relinquish all your self-guilt and may pride be where ye revel,

  Within all the disorder and chaos remains still some sanity,

  You can love whoever you like, but still bathe in your own vanity,

  You CAN eliminate those you hate, with a force of fierce gravity,

  For sayeth Satan to thee; “Hallowed be, humanity…”

  Exit Scenario

  “Oh, and you can be a hypocrite in many various ways, still, hypocrisy is where someone might employ their double standards on another, and basically enough if you’re one of these, don’t think yourself so safe yet. You’ll have a lot to make up for.

  Satan helps those who helps themselves. Not anyone who just steals or looks with an envious eye over the possessions of others. There’s great strength in taking charge and going out to work for what you ever want for yourself. So long as you don’t wilfully hurt others in your ascension to success.

  Trespassers will be dealt with in an according manner. If, you infringe upon anyone with intent to hurt in any way – you will have to face a like consequence and you had better well accept it. They say do unto others, but in other words – what goes around will come around.

  If you’re and arsehole and you jack someone, you can expect you’ll be jacked yourself by some other arsehole. It may not be that same day, nor the next, but one day it will happen, and it’ll catch you by as much surprise as when you did yourself. So, don’t be an arsehole, more or less.

  If you lust after someone, proceed with caution, make a deal with them that you can both benefit from, if he – or she is willing, and if not, go no further but seek elsewhere.

  You should be able to achieve what you desire every time if approach with proper tact. If you can practice persuasion in the means as the great silver-tongue Lucifer can, then, you will find you’ll succeed anytime and never be disappointed.

  Negotiation is the key and once you’re in – you’re in. Try many different angles anywhere on anyone, know when you’re running at a loss and call it quits, or move on and try it elsewhere.

  Just don’t push any further if you can’t reach a reasonable agreement. Lucifer empathizes; he sees a lot of himself in us, he sees potential, he watches, and he will enrich us all with the glory we seek when we can appease him. And we will, we’re human after all.

  Hallowed Be, Humanity…

  Ave Satanis…” – Fumae-Fe.

  Enter Scenario

  “We know we can’t always practice what we preach, oh god no – I won’t do that which someone sees what I do and takes the piss out of me for it? I can’t go and have people think any more of me than what they see, no – they’ll think differently, and I can’t run that risk, I have a reputation to uphold – if people see me for the way I want them to see, my life would be a lot easier… a lot of people might only be a hypocrite out of what they think others expect them to be. Ah shit – I wish I could’ve picked that rubbish up but there’s no bin anywhere near here, and now people are going to think worse of me for having to leave it there. Bastard! Oh fuck, now I have no choice, ok, I’ll pick it up. (Eww, yuck!)

  Extremists do it all the time – dictate what they want to do – what they feel is their obligation, and in all their hope – try and die a martyr. Isn’t the point of martyrdom the equivalent of making certain or peculiar sacrifices inconvenience yourself for the sole purpose of being made an example of – the rest of your life? The Media shows that extremists only want to take the best part of the word to suit them, justify what and how they want to treat people and take it into their own hands, the fools.

  The best way to lead by example is to make it so obvious that someone else remarks about it – to which you reply by explaining, that living this way benefits you and influences such better luck your way because of it – or so it has been that way for me. Honesty, when persuaded with gentle modesty is useful when communicating with another – watch your tone and make sure you don’t sound like you’re boasting or gloating or skiting – show compassion when you explain shit, you’re not superior and neither are they inferior. Don’t give people a reason to call you a bastard – or make them feel hopeless enough that they were meant to already know this like second-nature because, chances are they genuinely had no idea. And why do we need to point fingers and blame at people for a mistake – so what? It was a fucking mistake – get over it! Why even bother making the mistake a big deal at all if you can’t or won’t even provide a decent solution to the conflict? Instead of blaming someone for something – why not correct them and pick them up? Why not show them where they went wrong and how to do it different or for the better for next time? Why not elaborate the full picture to them until they do understand? – and if they still don’t get it – ask yourself if you’re doing it right. Just try it another way – with patience. Foresee it, forgive it, forget it; because if someone genuinely didn’t know, we’ll just fail better next time, fail better until we succeed – heard that somewhere before, just can’t think where – thing’s will change, give a man confidence and he’ll do greater things, show faith and you’ll not be disappointed.

  People will change, they learn. Keep an open mind, open heart and pay full attention, understand and empathize – really listen and with a patience, rationalize, and support them – observe from an outside perspective, strangers meeting for the first time. You could really change the way you think the more you engage with very different people to yourself – you will evolve sooner, you’ll know better sooner yourself. Slightly better adjusted, tuned to the world. The universe watches, it feels the change in the energies with the change of emotions, and suddenly a good lot of energy – you could call karma – comes around. God knows us better than we know ourselves – the God that forgives or in some cases – GODS – if you’ve got more than one – and they are appeased, you’re soon sent little glories as reward. And they can be anything as subtle as the satisfaction of peace for mind or something as radical as someone you know doing the most outrageous favours for you on your behalf – in which case you still stand to gain and benefit big time, but the point is – is the difference you do does count. Everything you do has an effect and an equal yet opposite effect. Which ways the path leads before it sects off to two other directions then so on and so forth. We are in control of where our paths lead – it’s what we’re doing that determines what happens. Whether you’re giving out good or bad energy you can only expect you’ll get what you give. Those differences you make count.” – Ruek.

  I For Infinite For I

  I ser
ve only the highest power,

  It and only it alone can make me cower,

  I see below and behind is at best fuck all,

  They, low and hind, never see their downfall,

  I’m not ever beyond or below others,

  Sentenced, and deemed what - only from above us,

  A judgment I don’t see I could fail,

  Where a great many others get a kick up the tail,

  All those folk will be disgraced critically,

  Seen atop the surface but felt more physically,

  I’ll survive if I abide by the laws unseen,

  And tread over embers shall I falter in between,

  My soul is clean,

  There are times I couldn’t really give a good damn,

  Of what others say and want to think I am,

  Silently, sacredly, I await diviner pleasures,

  Of limitless and incomprehensible measures,

  The universe will favour me,

  In my times of need,

  For when I sate its’ appetite,

  Everything goes right,

  I live for the infinite lives for me,

  The Infinite lives for I for the infinite,

  I live for the infinite lives for me,

  My soul is clean.

  Exit Scenario

  “Some don’t seem to be doing it right, but God help you if you told them. Are they even aware? Is there a way you could break it to them gently without them getting so defensive? What if there’s a situation where you catch something about to go wrong and you intervene – where safe to do so – that you can vent some of the steam of such oncoming heat? Do you intervene at the precise moment? And appropriately so? I would think it’s imperative that one does – only if you’re aware you can diffuse a ticking bomb, safely enough. How’s this? You tell me you’re going to hate an entire race because of that one single bastard you had a run in with earlier? That’s ignorant. How is that different for us when we know there’re fuckers out there – reckless road-drivers, pissheads who get cocky and show off or whatever – we know those idiots make it worse for others who are considerably more sensible on the road – then, all of a sudden, you’ve got increased law enforcement on every street. But how is it they seem to always get you – and doing nothing wrong – where had they been 5-10 minutes earlier they’d have caught the real culprit? Another convo for another time but what I want to say is, don’t go full throttle into something recklessly without full knowledge of how to effectively apply your ‘know-how’ – sorry – ‘opinions’ over something you really know nothing about. And how can you be taken seriously yourself when you’re always contradicting yourself and not ‘practicing what you preach’ – what makes you think you’re so superior when you can’t handle what’s on your own plate first? What makes you so special that you feel you must dictate your double standards? You have so much to learn – how old are you going to be before you realize and accept it, accept responsibility. There are thousands of ways that you can show you’re a hypocrite – and far more than some believe they think there are. And I fully believe the worst of the sins there is – is hypocrisy.” – Ruek.