Our Unscripted Story

by L. A. Fiore

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  I’d been expecting the visit. I nearly got his daughter killed. I had thought it would have been back in New York, in a dirty room with brass knuckles not half way across the world. His dime. I glanced at my watch, nine in the morning. Not too early for a drink. “Yeah, there’s a pub in the village.”

  I studied the man across the table from me and saw Alexis in his features, but then with how much I was missing her I’d see her features in the fucking bartender. The man had a presence and not just me sensed it. People gave him a wide berth. If I had an ounce of sense, I’d be uneasy but I just didn’t feel much of anything these days.

  We finished a pint and started on the second before he got to the reason he flew across the Atlantic to see me.

  “I had thought you’d come to your senses.”

  Not how I saw this going. “Excuse me?”

  “You left my daughter.”

  I didn’t mean to laugh, but fucking talk about the pot and the kettle. “That’s funny coming from you.”

  He barely moved, just the slightest shifting forward and yet he had my attention. His blue eyes were dark and yet looking into them I felt a chill. The photo Alexis had, Finn was hardened but there was light in him. Looking at him now, he was dark and empty.

  “That gnawing hole in your gut. That will only get worse. Time won’t heal it, you won’t move on. Slowly, every day, you’ll lose another part of yourself. You’ll get to the point that you’ll do anything to feel.” His eyes drilled into me. “Absolutely anything to feel something, and before you know it you won’t recognize the man looking back at you in the mirror.”

  I’d already come to that conclusion, but I said nothing. I listened because the man seemed ready to purge.

  His focus shifted outside. “I lost Sade and fear for Alexis had me pushing her out of my life.” He focus shifted back to me, but he looked fucking tired—tired of hurting, tired of living. “I was wrong to do that.”

  Anger stirred, for him or myself I didn’t know because I knew I’d been wrong to walk away from Alexis. And still I argued because he didn’t have the image of her that night in his head, the one that haunted me, that woke me up in the middle of the night soaking the sheets from horror and devastation and a bone deep fear that it could have ended so very differently…tragically different. “Were you? You didn’t see Alexis that night, the look on her face, the blood. She was shot because of me, because some unstable woman had a fixation on me. She wasn’t the first, she’s not likely to be the last.”

  “And you’re afraid it will happen again.”

  “Fuck yeah. And the next time maybe she won’t…” I leaned back in the booth and blew out a breath. “She’s alive. I want to make sure she stays that way.”

  Finn held my stare, direct and no nonsense. “What you’re feeling. She is too.”

  Those words hit me hard because I knew how true they were.

  His next words were softly spoken. “I fucked up.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Her whole life I’ve been there. In the shadows but watching.”

  I had an ah-ha moment. “It was you who paid for her schooling.”

  “Yeah. My baby girl came home. The least I could do was pay her tuition. I kept eyes on her, young, alone and in the city. That bitch that shot her, she sneaked through my crew too. It was fucked up and random and not something you could have planned for. And yeah, she almost died. That fucks with you, especially when you’re linked however remotely to that shit, but to walk away. All you had, the big stuff and the little stuff. Happiness, you had it in your hands and you walked away from it. I get it, but now that I’m older and wiser I can tell you with absolute certainty. That’s fucking stupid.”

  I studied the man in front of me. Maybe he wasn’t so dark and empty because he boarded a plane with the sole purpose of kicking me in the ass.

  “So am I correct to assume you are giving me your blessing.”

  “I saw my daughter with you. You’re her home and she’s yours. It’s time you went home.”

  I couldn’t help playing devil’s advocate even knowing I was going home to her. “And put a target on her back?”

  “We can’t predict the future. If you knew Alexis would be harmed before you married her, would you not have married her?”

  That wasn’t a fair question. The moments and memories I clung to, to not have experienced them. How could I say no to them and yet how could I willingly put her in harm’s way?

  “Denying happiness because of what might happen, I did that too and it is not just stupid, but selfish because you made that decision for her. She came to see me.”

  “What?”

  “Showed up at the clubhouse.”

  “Alone.” When I see her…

  “She let me have it. Told me you left to keep her safe, following my lead. She was angry and under that anger she was hurt…so fucking hurt. But do you know what else was there, Greyson?”

  My fucking eyes were burning knowing what I had put her through. “What?”

  “Strength. She told me that we didn’t give her enough credit for being strong. She was right. We left her. Both of us. Took the choice away from her, left her to pick up the pieces and fucking hell if she didn’t. Even heartbroken, she picked herself up and she moved on. I’ve been idle since I walked away from her. You are too, but Alexis is still moving forward. Slower, with less steps or interest, but she’s making it work despite the pain.”

  I looked down at the table. It blurred. I had thought that of her. The pain in her eyes and yet she still had it in her to be funny, to be happy, to look for the bright side.

  “I already knew I fucked up.” I met his stare. “I’ve booked my flight.”

  “I’m relieved to hear my daughter didn’t marry a moron.”

  “The jury is still out,” I chuckled.

  “Don’t waste a single day, Greyson. Take it from someone who is filled with regret, who lost the love of his life. I’d do it all over again with Sade, even knowing I’d lose her, I would do it all over again. The love of your life is waiting for you. Stop making her wait.” He then reached into his vest and pulled out a stack of letters. His knuckles were white with how hard he held them. “These are letters to me from Sade. I thought Alexis would like them, to learn a little bit about her mother from her own words.”

  My fucking eyes burned, but Alexis was going to love them. I handled them like the treasures they were. “I’ll make sure she gets them.”

  He reached for his pint; his hand shook from emotion that he battled back. “And be prepared to get on your knees because you so fucking have that coming.”

  I was packed. I stood in the portrait gallery. It’s funny, I never really appreciated my heritage until Alexis. I’d seen this room, been in it a few times, but I didn’t truly get it. All those who came before me, the history that saturated these walls, their lives, their love…she opened my eyes to all of that.

  I stood in front of our paintings. Her looking down at me like she had on the day of our wedding. My chest grew tight. “Hers will be the last to hang on these walls. This all ends with me because I choose Alexis. I choose love.”

  I realized I was talking to the empty room. I probably needed my head examined and still I smiled because Alexis talked to herself all the time. Fuck, I missed her. I headed for the door when I heard the laughter again. Turning toward it, I froze seeing what I could only imagine was the ghost the housemaids always whispered about. It was no more than mist, but why the fuck was their mist inside. It moved, floating right into Aenfinn’s portrait. I moved closer to his portrait, half expecting it to pop its head out and scare the shit out of me. It didn’t, but as I stood there staring at his painting I saw something I never had before. I moved closer.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  I reached for my cell and called my grandfather. “You need to come to the portrait gallery and bring a ladder.”

  Alexis />
  Benny and Joon were playing, tugging on the same rope. Benny was bigger, he could easily pull it from his sister, but he didn’t. The twins were over; we’d been hanging in the back enjoying our view of the beach.

  “It still looks a lot like it did when we were kids,” Dylan said what I was thinking.

  “I’m glad to be home,” Dominic said then added, “Mom and Dad are moving back.”

  I hadn’t heard that. “When?”

  “As soon as they sell their apartment.”

  “They’ve gotten their fill of Paris?” I asked.

  “Yeah, and with everyone home they want to be here too.”

  I smiled as I looked back out at the horizon. “I can’t wait to see them.”

  Nostalgia swept through me, some good, some sad, but life went on. I jumped up from my spot.

  “Where are you going?”

  I didn’t say, returning with my bike, the same bike from my youth. Dylan joined me; Dominic went to play with my dogs. “It really is ugly.” Laughing eyes turned to me. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

  It was ugly. Hideous. I loved it. “No, too many memories.”

  His smile faded as he pushed his hands into his pockets. “I get why he left, I do, but if I see him again I’m punching him in the face.”

  “No you won’t, but thank you for the thought.”

  “He hurt you.”

  “He did and he’s hurting too.”

  “That’s fucking stupid.”

  I couldn’t argue that point because he was right. It was fucking stupid.

  “Change of subject. I saw Debbie the other day,” Dylan announced.

  “I did too. Still a bitch.”

  She worked at the salon in town, though it didn’t sound like she’d be working there much longer. Apparently, she burned one customer’s hair and dyed another’s the wrong color.

  “She hasn’t changed.” Dylan wasn’t wrong.

  “Nope.”

  “It’s sad.”

  “Yep. Speaking of her, why did she stop hanging out with us?”

  He shifted on his feet, looking a bit guilty. “She didn’t stop hanging with us, we stopped hanging with her.”

  “Wait. What now?”

  “She didn’t want us hanging with you, gave us an ultimatum. Her or you.”

  “Ah, well that explains her torture of me.”

  “Yeah, sorry.”

  “Why? I got you two.”

  He grinned. I climbed onto my bike. “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “For a ride. Watch my babies.”

  “Yeah, but don’t fall off you might break a hip.”

  I gave him the finger then peddled away. The expression, it’s like riding a bike, was so true. The ride was like going back in time. I was that sixteen-year-old girl again. The wonderful salty air brushed across my face and the wind in my hair. It was like I had returned to a simpler time. It was instinct the ride I took through town, just like all those times before, marveling that though decades had passed home was still very much like it had been.

  I made my way along the road toward my jetty. Déjà vu hit hard when I reached it because there was someone standing on my spot. I recognized him, knew his body better than my own. We’d been here before, but so much had happened in the space between and still I felt that hit of attraction, the same one that had reached across the beach to me all those years ago. We weren’t kids anymore, we had a long story, a beautiful one, not without its ups and downs, but he walked away. I had wished every day for the last ten months for this moment, so the anger surprised me. I was so fucking angry that he took it all away. His body tensed before his head jerked around. Even with the distance of the beach between us, I saw the pain, the hope…the love. He started toward me; I turned from him.

  “Alexis!”

  My eyes closed hearing my name as only he could say it. He touched my arm and my body remembered his touch. I bit my lip to keep the emotions in. “Please.” It was all he said, one simple word and yet there was nothing simple about what he wanted. I loved him, I waited for him to come back, every damn day, but he left. He walked away and stayed away. For almost a year he forced me into a life that was a shell of the one I knew.

  I couldn’t look at him because I didn’t trust myself being so close to the person I wanted, always had, always would, but he didn’t get to just walk back into my life.

  “You left. You took away my happily ever after.”

  “Forgive me.”

  I couldn’t keep the pain or the anger from my voice because I was drowning in it. “Ten months, Greyson. Ten months walking around empty.” I looked then because I needed him to understand how much he hurt me. It gutted seeing the same pain in his eyes. I loved him, but we were different now, his actions made us different. “I don’t know that I can forgive you for that.”

  I walked away so he wouldn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks.

  “He’s back?” Paige paced my backyard, chewing on her nail. “This is good, isn’t it?”

  “Why? He left. Strolling back almost a year later and thinking he can take up where he left off. Fuck that,” Grant snarled. The twins agreed. A part of me did too.

  “But you know why he left.” Her eyes speared Grant. “Hell, you even said you’d have done the same.” Paige wanted me to have the dream. I loved her for it. And yes, I wasn’t living so much as existing but the anger was suffocating. I appreciated more that fine line between love and hate. “Before you make any decisions, remember the last year. Put yourself in his shoes and how you would have reacted. He’s back, which means he knows he was wrong to leave. It’s a second chance, Alexis. You would be a fool to walk away from that.”

  “You’re right, deep down I know that, but I apparently still have some lingering anger I need to work through. If Greyson wants me back it has to be on my terms.”

  Her smile took up her whole face. “Nothing wrong with that.”

  My agent was in a bit of a tizzy when she sat across from me at the coffee bar. When I moved home, she moved to LA. She’d wanted to make the move, but she stayed in New York for me. It had been a few days since Greyson’s return. The town was abuzz that he was back. Rumors were flying around about reconciliation. Even the town hoped to see that happen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that too, but I wanted him to experience how powerless it made you feel to have a decision made for you that changed your life irrevocably. Adele studied me with that knowing look of hers.

  “Do you want something to drink?” I asked.

  “No, I can’t stay long. Do you have the pages?”

  Just like her, Adele Mansfield was extremely efficient but she lacked social skills outside of her work. She wasn’t married because she couldn’t afford to be; she was married to her job. I was thankful to have her, but I wondered if she ever found her life lonely. I reached for my portfolio and pulled out the sheets for her.

  “We need the rest of the screenplay in three weeks. Can you do that?”

  “Yeah, no problem. I’m not leaving my cottage,” I muttered. Avoidance was my priority. I desperately wanted to avoid Greyson because I hadn’t let myself feel the anger, I’d been numb to it, but I felt it now. It curled in my gut and my instinct was to unleash it on him, but hurting him would only hurt me too because under the anger was love.

  “Alexis!”

  “Sorry.”

  “I heard your husband is back.”

  My eyes widened then narrowed. “How did you hear that? What did he do take out a two-page ad in the LA Times? Moving back to Mendocino to drive my estranged wife mad.”

  Adele chuckled, “No, but you did make the gossip columns. You and Greyson were always a favorite with the gossip papers especially when the seemingly perfect couple split. That was news.”

  “For me too,” I whispered, but Adele didn’t hear me. She stood and gathered her things.

  “I’ll see you soon.” She left. I remembered the stories that came out right after the shooting,
the photos of Greyson at the hospital. It was hard to believe that man, the one who looked as if his entire world had come to an end, could be the same one to voluntarily walk away a year later. I was so lost in thought I didn’t realize I was no longer alone until I heard that deep voice.

  “Alexis.”

  So much for avoidance. I should walk out, but I was a glutton for punishment and hungry for the sight of him. My gaze moved up his body taking in his faded jeans, tee, his beautiful hair pulled back into a ponytail and those fucking eyes. I was in hell. That gunshot had killed me and these past ten months had been purgatory, but I must have pissed someone off because my ass was kicked right into hell. And my hell would be this, haunted by and forced to be near this man. I was looking right at him so I saw the grin that pulled at the corner of his mouth. He always could read me. The thought brought pain not pleasure.

  “Greyson.”

  “Can I join you?”

  Hell, no. At my silence his dark brow rose in a questioning arch. I was in hell so resolved myself to my fate.

  I gestured to the chair and watched as he gracefully folded his large frame into it. We sat staring at each other.

  “How have you been, Alexis?”

  My eyes narrowed. “Small talk, Greyson, seriously.” Almost a year he was gone and now he wants to chat. Fuck him. I stood. “The next time you see me and get the urge to ply me with bullshit small talk, don’t. Now that it’s over, Greyson, I just don’t give a fuck.” See? So totally pissed.

  Grabbing my stuff, I walked out. My body was shaking, my heart was pounding and tears were threatening. I didn’t get far before I felt his hand on my arm. He pulled me into the alley and before I knew his intentions, he kissed me. It was like coming home. My lips moved with his, my eyes closed, my body swayed into him. Like a junkie after a long fast, I wanted to lose myself in him, in what we were together. Instead, I pushed him away. My hand trembled as I brought it to my lips. Love stared back from those pale eyes.

  “You decided our fate. And now you’re back. I have loved you my whole life, but you hurt me. I know your intentions were in the right place, but my heart and my head are not on the same page.”