Where Did the Love Go

by Elbie Dee

  Snapping myself from the mirror, and with my items still in hand, I shot out of the vehicle and hoped she didn’t notice me. I closed the door and made my way down the stone sidewalk. Luckily, when I looked toward her door, she wasn’t in sight from what I could see. The door was still shut, and the blinds were perfectly aligned.

  Knock!

  “Glad you came,” she opened the door before I could knock a second time.

  “Well, damn. Were you sitting by the door waiting?” I asked since the door flung open so quickly. She chuckled before answering.

  “Actually, you caught me coming downstairs from my room. Are you gonna come inside? Or just stand there?” she asked sarcastically. Based on the dark circles around her eyes, I could tell she had been drowning herself in tears.

  Taking my first step into the place, she stepped back to allow me to get inside. Full body inside her apartment, she closed the door and attached the chain lock before guiding me down the dark grey, carpeted hallway. Once we were at the end of the hall, my eyes wandered around the place.

  Honestly, the place was nice as fuck! The end of the hallway led into the medium sized living room. Her black, Italian leather couch set contained a recliner in every seat, with drink holders on the inside arm rests. The black and grey distressed, wooden coffee table, and two end tables, appeared to be handmade.

  With her couch and loveseat caddy cornered armrest to armrest, one of the end tables squared between them and the wall perfectly. The other one was on the opposite end of the couch, which rested along the wall that was furthest from the hallway. Each table held an elegant, chandeliered lamp, which were both set to a dim lighting.

  “Are you gonna sit down?” Zaiya asked after she was seated on the end of the couch, which was closest to the squared end table, and caught me in the middle of admiring her spot.

  Speechless, I walked across the living room and took a seat on the side closer to the opposing end table, leaving a seat in between her and I. Wandering my eyes from her direction, I noticed she had a seventy-two inch TV mounted to the wall. Right beside of it was an entryway to a smaller sized kitchen. The bathroom led from the living room to the left of the kitchen.

  “Damn! That’s dope as fuck!” I blurted aloud. After looking up to admire the two-story high ceiling, I noticed a balcony which led to the bedroom that was on the second floor.

  “Yeah… until you realize the room has to be groomed at all times so company won’t talk shit about clothes being on your bedroom floor,” she giggled.

  “What kind of apartment is this?” I joked after I directed my attention back at her.

  “It’s a one bed, one-and-a-half bath, townhouse,” she replied, smiling back at me with her perfectly straight, pearl white teeth.

  “Tuh! All fancy and shit. Excuse me,” I chuckled, and she followed me with a burst of her laughter.

  Grabbing her tightened abs, and crying in joy, I seen the spirit she once held coming back to life. She used to laugh over anything, but her humorous chuckle could bring life to anyone. Just as she was starting to lean her body back onto the leather and was about to go in for an everlasting laugh, I snapped myself out of rebuilding admiration.

  “So what do we need to talk about?” I cleared my throat before speaking.

  “Woo! Oh yeah,” she replied as she pulled herself back together. As soon as she was able to control her composure, she continued. “Ocho, I already told you I missed you. It’s not a phase. I’ve been thinking about you for a while, and seeing you didn’t help with that,” she confessed.

  “Zaiya. It’s only been a little over a year since we split. It’s still new, so you’re not completely over us yet,” I explained, and she looked at me like a deer in headlights.

  “I don’t think it’ll ever go away. It could be because I have to live with my own guilt. Never in a million years did I think I was hurting you as much as I did. I wanted to feel free, but after being let loose for all this time, it made me realize that I don’t want to be free from you… at all,” she stated.

  “I don’t kno-,” I began, but she interrupted.

  “Where did the love go?” she asked. With the question throwing me off guard, I scrunched my eyebrows and looked at her in confusion before she continued. “Or did it ever leave?”

  I sat speechless as I tried thinking about her questions. Come to think about it, I wasn’t sure if it was ever true love. With us both being young, we tended to like the show for the people on the outside. We were the hottest couple walking and everyone wanted to be just like us. Snapping me from my train of thoughts, I felt a soft touch to my lips.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked after I pushed Zaiya off of me. Within the seconds that I fell into a daze, she had managed to climb into the middle seat and plant a kiss on me.

  “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Would you like a drink or something? I think we both can agree that our nerves are a little tore up after this morning,” she offered and I nodded my head, while looking in any direction other than the one which pointed to her.

  She got up from the couch and walked into the small kitchen. Trying to keep my attention away from her, I took my eyes from the direction she walked into and looked at the ceiling. When I heard her footsteps getting closer to me, was the first time I looked at her after our kiss.

  “Makers Mark? One ice cube?” she asked, judging from what I used to drink when her and I were together.

  “You’re lucky it’s still my favorite drink,” I said with agony in my tone. “You drink it too now?”

  “Been drinking it for a while. It’s actually surprisingly good,” she informed me as she swirled her ice cubes around in her glass.

  As I took my first sip, her eyes were glued to me as she stood on the carpet a few steps away from where I sat on the couch. Once I downed my first gulp, she walked around the coffee table and took the first spot she was in, which was next to the other end table.

  I sat quietly and sipped on my Bourbon. The original plan was to drink the first one fast and have her make me another. It had been a while since I had any liquor, and a nice tipsy buzz sounded as if it would be the best thing in the world at the moment.

  Her eyes watched me like a hawk, and three sips in, the room started to spin in circles. Aware that I wasn’t drunk, I instantly thought of a drug she could have slipped me. At the moment, it didn’t dawn on me that she was a CNA and could easily access prescriptions.

  Trying to analyze what was happening to me quickly faded in my brain. Instead, I saw her move from her seat through the blurred vision and kiss my yet again. This time, I was all for it as my dick pulsed, and started to become rock hard.

  “You want me Ocho?” she asked as I watched the movement of her lips, but barely was able to recognize a word. The last I remember happening was the feeling of a wet sensation forming a mold around the head of my dick.

  Neakah

  A day after Bayleigh got the tube from her throat removed, she was able to talk without feeling soreness. The horse in her voice was almost fully undetectable, and the swelling on her face went down one hundred percent. The only damage from the attack were the bruises. Even those began to fade drastically.

  “Oh! I have a bone to pick with you,” Bayleigh spat after a conversation of the past had ended.

  “What the fuck did I do?” I dramatically asked while I forced the palm of my hand to my chest.

  “Speaking of the past, guess who was in my room yesterday after I got my tube removed?” she asked, and I let a breath of air into my lungs as I gasped.

  “He didn’t fucking come in here after I told him not to,” I said.

  “Yes he did! He even offered to put me in rehab and offered a shot at our love again!” she confessed, but in an annoyed tone.

  Once Bayleigh was reeled out of the room and taken into a small operating type of room for her tubes to be removed, I left the hospital. From what the doctor’s said, the process could have taken anywhere from thirty minutes t
o a couple of hours based on how well Bayleigh reacted to anesthesia.

  Needing a breath of fresh air, I decided it was a good time to do so. After gathering my things and throwing my empty tray in the trash, I walked out of the room. Remembering that Chris was waiting for a reply, I walked to the waiting area to inform him on Bayleigh’s decision not to see him.

  He didn’t oppose. As a matter of fact, he got up from his chair and walked with me to the elevator. After the door opened, we both loaded the machine and got off at the ground level. I was convinced he was going to respect her wishes when we both walked to the parking lot together and parted ways to get to each of our vehicles. Based on what Bayleigh described about him entering her room, he must have waited for me to leave the premises before re-entering the hospital.

  “Well, he obviously didn’t listen,” Bayleigh spat, after I explained the scenario to her.

  “Apparently!” I said. “How was it though?”

  “He offered to pay for rehab and help get my life together, but wants to try our relationship again in return,” Bayleigh informed me.

  “You know I fucking love you, but you do need the help sis! I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but do you wanna end up in this condition again? Or possibly worst?” I scolded, before Bayleigh rolled her eyes.

  “Neakah, I know I need help. The drugs their giving me through this IV isn’t gonna last forever,” she stated before I paused her speech.

  “Forever? You’re about to be out of here today! It’s gonna end today! So you need to think about what you want to do,” I reminded her.

  “I fucking know that! But I don’t want Chris’ help! That’s only gonna lead me back to the fucking streets,” she confessed.

  I lifted my bottom lip before tightening my lips widely and nodded my head. She didn’t say anything I couldn’t disagree with. Knowing all of the different emotions she faced after their split, all it was going to take was one more fuck up from Chris and Bayleigh was in the streets all over again.

  “You’re coming home with me once you’re discharged from here. The only requirement is for you to get help. Why don’t you ask the hospital if they offer drug abuse programs?” I stated before I watched tears begin to form in Bayleigh’s eyes.

  “I don’t want them to keep me any longer,” she admitted before waterfalls began to pour down her cheeks.

  I lifted myself from the couch and walked to her bedside. After motioning my hand for her to scoot over, I hopped on the twin size hospital bed with her. Body to body as we laid next to each other, I slipped my right arm underneath her and reached to her back with my left.

  “Never have I ever thought my life would come to this, Neakah!” Bayleigh whimpered as her face was buried into my shoulder.

  “We’re gonna get your shit back together,” I promised her, before some of my own tears began to form. For hours, we laid in the bed together and cried, until we both dozed off for a nap.

  ∞∞∞

  “It’s time to get up!” Bayleigh yelled in my ear, which caused me to jump up from the bed and plant both feet on the tile floor of the hospital room.

  “What the fuck Bayleigh! You know that shit scares me!” I scolded her as my heart beat from my chest.

  “You wouldn’t get up when I was shaking you to fucking death!” she informed me.

  I hadn’t noticed the doctor standing in front of the end of the bed, close to the television, until Bayleigh nodded her head in the direction. Slowly, I looked to see the fine ass male doctor holding her discharge papers. Embarrassed, I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him.

  “Now that you’re awake, you two can get going,” he chuckled.

  Beads of sweat started to form, and my I could feel the red blush taking over my off-white colored face. After chopping it up with Bayleigh and handing her the papers, he began heading for the door to exit the room. Just before he grabbed the door handle, I could have fucking sworn I saw him look back at me and wink.

  “Bitch, I think he likes me too,” I whispered to Bayleigh as she was getting up from her bed.

  “You wish!” she laughed, as if it were the funniest thing she had heard in years. “You and them old ass men, I swear.”

  “At least he has money! Old men need loving too!” I chuckled back at her.

  She never disagreed with my choice in men, although she did think it was weird. For some reason, I looked at men around my age as little boys. Maybe it had something to do with the experience when dating a boy who was my age at twenty years old.

  Eleven months of dating this boy, Travis, was the period of my life in which I had the most fun. We’d party together and visit the beach often. Late night Netflix and chill dates were a must and waking up at noon became the normal time for starting our day. On top of it all, I think I had the most sex in that relationship that I’ve had yet in my life.

  Turning me off from the fun times was his inability to mature. We attended the same college, and right after my twenty-first birthday, we both became Junior’s. For me, it was time I’d start planning out what I wanted to do with life. Opposite from me, he wished to keep his life the same track he’s been living.

  Once I seen he wasn’t going to change, I ended things. He understood and we remained friends for a short while after our split. Conversations faded, and we ultimately stopped all contact three months after our break-up.

  Since then, I’ve dated nothing but men a good length older than me. I have yet to explore a serious relationship with one but have dated many. Bayleigh says I just like having sugar daddies, and thinking about it, it may be true. Until the day comes for me to settle down, I guess I’ll keep having fine ass sugar daddies as she puts it.

  “Excuse me,” I heard a male’s voice coming from behind Bayleigh and I, as we were walking down the hall toward the elevator.

  The both of us looked back to notice the doctor lightly jogging in our direction. We were steps away from the elevator, and I assumed he wanted to catch up before we got on. Honestly, I thought he could have forgotten to give Bayleigh something, like a prescription; he gave me one instead.

  “I’m so sorry and I know this is unprofessional, but I have to give you this,” he said as he held a prescription paper out toward me. Instantly, I smiled after looking down at the paper.

  “I’ll give you a call,” I said which was followed with a wink. After biting my lip and tilting my head slightly, I continued, “Now get back to work.”

  Cheesing hard, I noticed his perfectly straight teeth shine back at me. His shaved beard allowed the dimple on the left side of his mouth to be noticeable. The smile made the puffiness underneath his light blue eyes lift, before he winked back at me and walked away.

  “Damn. I wasn’t expecting that!” Bayleigh expressed how shocked she was.

  “Shit, me neither,” I replied, as we directed our attention back toward the elevator door when we heard it begin to slide open.

  A family consisting of two kids and both mom and dad unloaded the elevator before Bayleigh, and I got on. We pressed the ground level button and waited for the doors to close. Once we were finally at our floor, Bayleigh shot through the halfway opened elevator doors.

  “Free at last!” Bayleigh yelled in a high pitch tone before cackling.

  I laughed with her as we roamed around the parking lot trying to locate my car. Three minutes went by before we found it. I clicked the unlock button on my key fob and entered the driver’s side. After Bayleigh threw her hospital bag, along with her discharge papers onto the floorboard on the passenger’s side, she plopped her ass in the seat before slamming the door shut.

  “Damn! Don’t break my shit!” I exaggerated.

  She kept her sense of humor as she laughed at every and anything I said. Once the ignition was started, I placed my gear into drive and started making my way toward my house. Halfway there and after passing a ton of stores, I had a better idea.

  “Where’s your bag?” I asked Bayleigh after I turned the volume down to the
song, No Hook by Mulatto.

  “I don’t know. I had it when I was attacked, and I guess the police couldn’t locate it. It’s not in my hospital bag,” she claimed.

  “Let’s go shopping and start a new life for you. It’s on me,” I offered. Silence filled the vehicle and instead of replying, she smirked to accept.

  Approaching the next light, I got into the left lane and activated my blinker. Once the left arrow button on the light turned green, I busted a U-turn and continued down the street to get to the strip of fashion stores. Meanwhile, I turned the volume back to its maximum and lowered all four windows.

  My girl needed to feel like a bad bitch again. She needed a makeover, and to feel good about herself for a change. I was hopeful that it would at least help her start to forget about the drug life. I would do anything for her to along my side fucking the streets of Miami up again.

  “Damn! This is new!” Bayleigh blurted, once we pulled into the large parking lot of the stretch mall.

  “Bitch, it’s been here for about nine months now,” I informed her as I giggled.

  “Wow. I missed so much,” she admitted while admiring the stores along the stretch.

  “You did. But you’re back now,” I reminded her. “Right?”

  She looked down at her hands and began fondling her thumbs together. After I was parked, I directed my full attention toward her. I could tell she was indecisive about change, the way her antsy ways shown.

  “Hey,” I said as I grabbed her hand, and released it from her other one. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

  I looked dead in her eyes, and she looked back. I needed my best friend back. She needed to pull her shit together. She needed to get off of drugs and enjoy the life she was born to live. Staring at each other for a few whole minutes, I smirked before grabbing her around her neck and bringing her in for a squeeze.