by Debra Kayn
Twinkling lights lit up the corner of the room. The top of the tree almost hit the ceiling. There were decorations, garland, and presents underneath.
"Oh, my God. You got a tree?" She rushed over and trailed her fingers over the little lightbulbs. "It's beautiful."
Dr. C approached her and stood at her side. "Turned out pretty good, I think."
"It's the best." She hugged his waist, believing that he never put up a tree during the holidays.
He'd given her the best surprise. She jolted, remembering the present she'd made and brought with her. "Hang on. Don't move. Promise?"
He chuckled. "I promise."
She ran back to the bedroom and opened up her bag. Grabbing the wrapped gift, she hurried back to Dr. C.
She handed him the flat box. "Merry Christmas."
"Do you want me to open it now?" He fingered the red and white bow.
She nodded. "It's not much. Kendrid also helped and let me have some of her wrapping paper."
He gently removed the paper and set it on the end table. Opening the box, he held up the framed picture of her.
It'd taken her over a week to get the frame right. It was cardboard she'd glued tiny pieces of round gravel from the courtyard at school. She tried to make it look like the rocks that are at the stream where the deer live. It came out pretty good. She'd hid all the hot glue gunk and the cardboard.
Her face warmed, seeing him looking at it. It wasn't the best present, but he held it like it was expensive and breakable.
"It's a beautiful picture of you." He rubbed his thumb over the photo. "Thank you."
Kendrid had taken the picture of her and then asked her mom to get a print of it for Katie. She thought she looked happy in the photo. Dr. C always liked it when she smiled.
She stared up at him, enchanted by the way his gaze softened as he continued looking at the gift. As if caught, he straightened his shoulders and walked over to the fireplace mantel and set the picture in front of a photo of an older couple, she assumed where his parents.
"You should open your presents now." He sat back down in his chair.
There were four gifts under the tree. She sat down and read the gift tags, thinking only one of the presents was for her and found her name on all of them.
She wasn't expecting anything. The way Dr. C treated her, it was special. He made her feel wanted. Even when she was a pain in the butt, he never sent her away.
She stood back up and rushed over to Dr. C, dropping to her knees beside his chair. Hugging his waist, she laid her head on his stomach. Tears burned her eyes, and she squeezed them shut. He was the only person in her life who cared about her, and she'd never, ever forget today for as long as she lived.
His hand stroked her hair and he let her cry. She forgot about the gifts waiting to be opened or the fact it was Christmas morning, and he'd surprised her by decorating a tree.
She had Dr. C, and that's all she'd wished for.
Chapter 12
Katie woke up with a moan inside her room at St. Mary's. The old window facing the street rattled. She crawled to the end of her bed and looked out. It was still dark.
Rain splattered the window.
Her stomach cramped. When the pain pulled her from sleep, she'd first thought her period had started.
Thunder crackled overhead. She shivered and sat in front of the window, watching the darkness for the spear of lightning that was promised to come.
Several seconds later, the flash lit up the sky. She spotted the bolt to her left.
She shivered. South.
Astoria was in that direction. But how far could a person see lightning?
Crawling back over the bed, she grabbed her cell phone and returned to the window. She covered her bare legs with the blanket, chilled from how cool the dorm supervisor kept the building at night.
Hitting recall, knowing the last person she called was Dr. C, she waited for him to answer.
The call connected. "Katie? Is everything okay?"
"Is it storming there?" she whispered, knowing noise traveled in the old building, especially at night with the other girls sleeping.
"It's, uh,..." He yawned. "It's raining."
"Is there thunder and lightning?"
"I don't believe so, but I was sleeping. It's two o'clock in the morning," he said.
Worry continued to grip her. He should stay aware of the weather. If he'd been caught outside in the storm, anything could've happened.
"Go back to bed." She leaned against the windowsill. "I'll watch the storm for you."
"It's just rain, Katie."
"Not here."
"Do you want to go wake Miss Brooke?" he asked.
She shook her head and realizing he couldn't see her, said, "No. I want you."
"I'm in Astoria."
"I know." She jolted when thunder cracked the sky. "Did you hear that?"
"No."
"It's closer to me than you." She pressed her hand against the window. "Do you think someone will die tonight?"
"We've talked about the natural order of life versus accident. We can't always stop accidents from happening, but we can make conscious efforts to be aware of our surroundings and make better choices in an attempt to keep ourselves safe. You're inside, in your room, and you're safe."
Her father had made a wrong choice to go out on the sandbar the night her parents got in a fight, and her mother had found out he was having an affair. He hadn't had time to leave before the storm hit, the tide came in, and trapped him in the riptides. If he'd made a better choice, he'd still be alive.
She knew those facts, but nobody could prove, not even Dr. C, that her wishing her father would just go away and leave the house, so the fighting would stop, hadn't had something to do with the choices he'd made. Nobody wanted to believe it was her fault that her father had died.
The truth made Dr. C uncomfortable, so he wished not to believe it. But, she knew what had happened.
"Katie?"
She inhaled, her body shaking. Her dad had swallowed a lot of water when the Coast Guard found the body a week later. Her mother, dragging her into the room where they'd put her father after he was rescued from the ocean, had made her look.
She squeezed her eyes closed. The noxious smell in the room had filled her nostrils, making her sick to her stomach. How could they believe that the gray-skinned man on the table was her dad?
The swollen body had her dad's wedding ring on his finger.
"Focus on me, Katie," said Dr. C. "Daylight will break soon, and you'll be able to see. What will be outside waiting for you?"
She shook her head, refusing to answer.
"The bell in the building will signal first period. What class do you go to?" asked Dr. C.
She turned away from the window and laid on the mattress. "Language Arts," she whispered.
"Good, Katie." He breathed over the phone. "When you look out the window in Language Arts, what do you see?"
She always sat in the fourth row by the bookcase when the final bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. She turned her head toward the left and imagined seeing the high, narrow windows, the beam of daylight coming in lighting up the desks on that side of the room.
"Nothing," she mumbled.
"There's always something, Katie. Look closely."
"The sky. Maybe a cloud. There's always a lot of gray clouds."
"Is it raining?"
She squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to see what he was seeing through everything she told him. "No, I don't think so."
"If it's not raining, what would you like to be doing?"
"Riding a bike." The vision of her black and purple mountain bike filled her thoughts. "I haven't ridden my bike since you took me riding on the path."
"Did you enjoy riding with me?"
She opened her eyes and sat up. "Do you remember the deer with the two baby fawns?"
"Yes, I do."
"Do you ever see them anymore?" She hadn't thought of the de
er in a long time.
"I've seen deer, but I don't know if she's the one I saw that year. I can't be sure, but I believe the fawns leave their mother when they're young. Probably to start their own family," he said.
"Like me," she whispered.
"Yes, like you."
"The next time you see a deer, will you take a picture and send it to me?" She pulled her blanket over her body and put her head on the pillow. "There's no deer here."
"I'll try. They spook easily."
"They won't be afraid of you. You're the nicest person in the whole world." She yawned. "I bet the momma deer comes every year. Next year, you can take another picture. We can compare them to see if they look the same."
"We can do that."
She rolled onto her back and lifted her head. The rain had stopped. There was no more lightning and thunder.
"I think the storm is over," she said.
"You should try and go back to sleep. You'll want to be alert and ready when school starts."
"Will you stay on the phone with me?"
"I will. I'm going to set it on the nightstand and try to go to sleep myself. I have a patient coming at nine o'clock in the morning. I need to be at my best to help him."
"I don't like you talking to other people."
"It's my job."
She rolled onto her side and put the phone between her head and the pillow. "Am I your job?"
Several seconds passed. She yawned, the lack of sleep overcoming her.
She forgot about her question until Dr. C said, "You're not my job."
She smiled in the dark and let herself sleep, listening to the silence on the phone, knowing he was there, even if she couldn't hear or see him.
Chapter 13
Mrs. Hanan, her Freshman Washington History class teacher, walked out of the classroom. Katie hunched over the open book on her desk. It made no sense why she needed to know where each tributary was located and the name. She couldn't even remember how to say Pend Oreille or Similkameen.
"Hey." Britta leaned toward her. "So, are you doing it with that man who meets you after school all the time?"
"What?" She shook her head, looking back at her book. "You're crazy."
"You said the other day he wasn't your dad, so who is he?"
"A friend." She put her elbow on the desk and cradled her head in her hand in an attempt to get Britta to shut up before someone else overhears and starts a rumor.
"Are you having sex with him?"
She straightened and looked Britta straight in the eyes. "Shut up."
Britta leaned back with a smirk. "You totally are."
"I'm not," she muttered. "Don't talk about him that way."
Britta leaned the other way, whispering with Alissa.
Glaring, she pulled out her backpack from underneath her chair and shoved her book, paper, and pencil inside. She stormed out of the room, running into Mrs. Hanan in the hallway.
"Where are you going, Katie?" Mrs. Hanon gripped Katie's shoulders, turning her around to go back to the room. "You're supposed to be in class."
Not wanting to get in trouble, she shrugged. "I think I started my period and need to run up to my room."
It was the excuse all girls gave at St. Mary's when they wanted to get out of class or meet another girl in the bathroom to talk. The teachers were more understanding when you used the period excuse to get out of class.
"Okay." Mrs. Hanon looked at her watch. "There's only ten more minutes of class. Do you have your homework with you?"
"Yes."
"Go ahead and leave." Mrs. Hanon stepped out of the way.
"Thanks." She hurried down the hallway.
Near the office, she looked over her shoulder. Mrs. Hanon was out of sight. Instead of taking the stairs, she turned in the opposite direction. If she could catch Dr. C when he arrived, they could leave before the other girls see him.
Pushing through the front doors, she stopped at the top of the steps. Dr. C had already parked at the curb and was leaning against the outside of the car.
She dropped her pack from her shoulder to her hand and ran to him.
He frowned and stepped forward onto the sidewalk. She lunged, dropping her backpack, and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his chest.
"What's wrong?"
Ignoring his question, she pulled back, tugging on his arm. "Let's go."
He opened her door. She slid in the seat, buckled up, and tapped her feet for him to hurry.
Dr. C picked up her bag, put it in the backseat, and then got in behind the steering wheel. She looked back at the school. No one else had come out. School hadn't finished yet.
As he pulled away from the curb and entered traffic, he said, "Why are you out of school early?"
"Mrs. Hanon let me go."
"Why?"
She smiled. "Good behavior?"
His gaze narrowed, studying her each time he glanced at her. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"
"I told her I got my period and had to leave." She relaxed now that St. Mary's was behind her, and no one would see her with Dr. C.
It wasn't that she was embarrassed about having a relationship with Dr. C. She hated Britta, making it seem like it was wrong.
No, she wasn't having sex with him. They didn't have that kind of relationship.
But she also wanted to keep Dr. C private. If the other girls found out he was a psychologist, and she was seeing him for therapy, they'd think something was wrong with her.
"I'm assuming you lied." He strummed his thumb against the steering wheel. "Remember the smart choices I wanted you to make?"
She groaned. "For once, can we not talk about me?"
"What do you want to talk about?" He pulled up to a curb and shut off the engine.
"We can talk about you," she asked hopefully.
"Deal." He pointed out the passenger window. "You can ask questions while we buy you some clothes."
She grabbed his arm, coming out of her funk. "Really?"
His gaze lowered. She self-consciously rolled her shoulders inward. Over the last two years, she'd gained twenty pounds. Her clothes still fit everywhere but the chest and hips.
"You'll have to show me what fifteen-year-old girls wear." He got out of the vehicle.
Before he could get around the car and open her door, she jumped out and held out her hand. He gave her the keychain, and she pushed the lock button before handing it back.
It was no longer thrilling to use the remote as it was when she was younger, but she liked the habit. There was more crime in Puget Sound than in Astoria, and making sure his car wasn't stolen made her feel like she was doing something for him.
He stopped in front of a popular clothing store for teenagers and opened the door. She walked inside and peered around at all the different styles.
"Pick out clothes you can wear out of school. When I drop you back off at school, I'll give you money so you can order more uniforms that are more comfortable than last year's clothes." He put his hand on her back and urged her to explore.
She weaved around the racks and walked along the wall, studying the jeans folded on the shelves. Finding a pair she liked, she went in search of a top before the saleswoman approached Dr. C.
"Is your daughter looking for something special." The saleswoman smiled. "We have some new sweaters that all the young girls are wearing this season."
Daughter? Katie rolled her eyes and walked over to Dr. C. "I'll try on these."
"You need more than that. Pick out several outfits." When she walked away, he turned to the woman. "She needs clothes for everyday use. Maybe you can help her."
"I'd be happy—"
"I don't need her help." She glanced over her shoulder at Dr. C. "Just you."
Finding several tops and another style of jeans, she slipped into the dressing room. Faint murmurs could be heard behind the swinging half-door. The saleswoman continued to talk to Dr. C.
She buttoned up the shirt and stuck h
er chest out. The front strained, gaping between her breasts.
Dr. C's low chuckle trickled in. She glared at herself in the mirror. The shopping trip was supposed to be just for them.
Unbuttoning one more on the shirt, the tension in the front eased but showed her bra. Taking everything off again, she removed her bra and put the shirt back on, leaving three buttons undone.
She turned sideways. Her breasts looked bigger.
Slipping on the jeans, she tugged them over her hips and fastened them. Swiveling, she looked at her butt. They fit snug but stretched when she moved.
Before she chickened out, she opened the dressing room door and strolled out. Standing in front of Dr. C., she turned, looking over her shoulder at him.
"Do you like?" She ran her hands over her hips. "Everything is comfortable."
He cleared his throat, spoke to the saleswoman who walked off leaving them alone, then approached Katie. "You don't need more room in the clothes to move?"
She rotated her shoulders and cocked her hip. "Nope."
He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing down at her shirt. Her face warmed, and her nipples hardened without a bra. A thrilling excitement filled her.
"So, can I get them?"
The muscle near his jaw throbbed. She raised her eyebrows, wondering what that meant.
He groaned as if in pain and said, "Okay. Keep going. I'll wait out here for you."
She grinned all the way back to the dressing room. Doing quick work of changing, she showed him each outfit. The more she tried on, the more he looked at her. She felt beautiful and special. Best of all, he stopped talking to the saleswoman.
"Katie?" he said, outside the dressing room. "Maybe you should get a couple dresses in case you have an event at school you need to go to."
"Okay. Will you pick out some for me and bring them here?" She stood in only her panties.
"Hang on."
She peeked through the gap where the door hinged to the wall. He'd walked away. While he was gone, she made a pile for the clothes she wanted and one for the items she wanted to put back on the rack.
A knock came as soon as she finished. "I'm not dressed."
Dresses landed in the room with her. She laughed, grabbing the hangers from Dr. C's hand over the door. The surprise shopping trip made her happy. He was buying her more clothes than she needed, but she liked having new things.