by Karla Doyle
“I just met her.”
“But you love her, right?”
“Love isn’t instant, sweetie. Not for me, anyway.”
“How long did it take you to love me?” The child had straight-faced snappy comebacks mastered, and she wasn’t even trying.
Across the room, Tim coughed to cover his laugh.
“It’s different when you have a child.” Memories of a newborn Lennox flooded Leigh’s mind. The love had been more than instant, it had consumed her. She stroked her daughter’s hair. Then stroked the puppy’s head to please the person she loved more than anything in the world. “Hello, Ladybug. You’re very cute. I’m sure I will love you soon. Even sooner if you don’t destroy my house while you’re here.”
Another cough left Tim’s mouth, this one more of an attention getter than an attention deflector.
“I’ll be in my bedroom with Ladybug. Don’t worry, Mommy, I won’t let her get into any trouble.” Daughter and father shared a look as she exited the living room.
“What’s going on with you two? You’re clearly in cahoots about something.” She followed Tim’s glance at a shopping bag he’d set on the floor. A pet supply store bag. “Already? Can’t you put off whatever business trip you have planned for a week, let the puppy settle in at your place first?”
“About that.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“You haven’t even heard me out.”
“I don’t need to. ‘About that’ means an unauthorized, irreversible change has been made. One that won’t please the recipient of the following statement. You’re leaving the dog here.”
“I’m sorry.”
She brushed off his apology as if shooing a fly.
“I messaged the condo manager for clarification about whether I could install a dog tie-out from the patio, and what length would be acceptable. He informed me that I’m not allowed to have a dog. When I disputed by pointing out that several other residents in the development have dogs, I was informed that the condo board amended the bylaws regarding dogs a year ago. Grandfathered dogs may stay, but no new ones are permitted.”
“They can’t expect you to get rid of a puppy because they secretly changed the rules.”
Tim rarely looked sheepish. Now was one of those times. “Nothing’s a secret in a condo community. Everybody’s in everybody’s business, all the time. They send out fresh copies of the bylaws any time there’s a change, which happens frequently. I don’t read them because they’re never relevant.”
“Funny, this seems incredibly relevant. Especially since it’s one hundred percent relevant to me.”
Tim crossed the room to stand close to her. “I can apologize until I’m out of breath, but it won’t change the fact that I handled this wrong.” He cast a glance toward the front hall before meeting her gaze again. “What do you want me to do? Tell our daughter to say goodbye to the puppy and get rid of it because Mommy doesn’t want it?”
Her ability to remain cool that’d impressed Sam so much was on extremely thin ice at the moment. For the sake of possible eavesdropping little ears, she took a breath and held herself in check. “I refuse to feel guilty about a situation you created.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.” The calmness in his tone rivaled hers, but the tightly drawn lines of his mouth and brow revealed the depth of his stress.
Time to put an end to this pointless debate. She’d known how the puppy story would play out from the moment it began. “The dog can stay. You know I would never hurt Lennox that way. Or a defenseless animal. Or you, for that matter,” she said, leaning forward to stab his chest with her index finger.
He caught her hand, enveloping it. “I know, and I appreciate it. All of it. And I promise not to heap all the responsibility onto your plate.”
“Thank you.” The urge to reclaim her hand grew with each passing second. Especially with Tim staring into her eyes and rubbing circles on her skin with the pad of his thumb. Maybe she was reading too much into the gesture and his soulful gaze. God, she hoped so.
“I’ll spend more time here and help with the extra duties.” He used their joined hands to draw her into his personal space. “This could be a sign.”
Conversation redirection required, stat. “A sign that I’d better start watching where I step in the backyard.”
His smile held more affection than amusement. “A sign for us, as a family and as a couple. Maybe it’s time we merge our parallel lines into one.”
“Parallel lines never merge. I’d better take over helping with Lennox’s geometry homework.”
“I’m not joking.”
“Which is exactly why I am.” She withdrew her hand and stepped back. Since keeping it light hadn’t worked, she’d have to be direct. “I’m dating somebody. I don’t expect it to last forever, but it’s an exclusive relationship and I’m happy.”
“You never expect it to last when you’re dating. I think the reason for that is obvious.” He closed the distance between them again, this time collecting both her hands. “Deep down, you’re waiting for our time to come back around.”
She didn’t want to hurt him. Not now and not ever. But she wouldn’t lie or lead him on, either. Those would be far more hurtful in the long run.
Shaking her head, she backed out of their too-close stance. “I love you and I always will, but not in a passionate, in-love way. If I’m going to be in a romantic relationship, I want that element.”
“We know how to please each other in the bedroom, Leigh. Sex was never a problem for us.”
“I know, but I’m not just talking about the mechanics of good sex. That gets the job done, but it’s not passion.”
“Then what is?”
Easy answer, this one, because she’d experienced it last night. And every other night this week, with Sam. “Passion is a consuming need to get as close to somebody as possible. It’s every cell in your body coming alive because of proximity, or sometimes without proximity. It’s like an unquenchable thirst with the most delicious drink you’ve ever tasted.”
Unflappable as always, he merely nodded, despite the fact that she’d essentially told him how she didn’t feel about him. “And being in love, instead of loving somebody?”
“It’s the difference between having a full heart and having your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest to get to that person.”
“I see.”
She should’ve told him she couldn’t define the things their relationship lacked. Or dialed back her description to a less vivid level. Instead, she’d done exactly what she’d wanted to avoid. She’d hurt him. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ve always wondered what was holding you back from us, and now I know.”
“Tim—”
He waved her off when she moved toward him. “No condolence hugs or kind words required. I’m disappointed, but also relieved to know where I stand.”
“If I’ve unintentionally misled you all this time, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to.”
“No, you’re in the clear. My false hope was entirely self-generated.”
“Oh, Tim.” She swept his hands aside and wrapped her arms around his waist. “This isn’t a condolence hug, by the way. It’s an I-care-about-you hug. Don’t even think about denying me these.”
He laughed his signature short laugh and returned the hug. “Nothing has changed between us. We’re good.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” The hug ended with his step back. “One more question, then we get back to talking about puppy shit. Literally.” Humor, a good sign.
“Okay, what’s your question?”
“The guy you’re dating now. Since you don’t expect the relationship to last and committing to me isn’t the reason, I assume you don’t feel the things you described for him either?”
Not just a question, a fully loaded question. One that required a carefully worded answer.
“There’s a different reason.”
“Which is…?” He motioned for her to continue. “As the other half of your parenting equation, I think it’s reasonable that I know whatever negative thing you’ve found about the current man in your life. Also, hearing how’s he not perfect will help my bruised ego a little.” The wink he gave told her they truly would be okay. As friends.
“I can’t believe you’re playing the soothe-my-bruised-ego card.” She smiled while peeking into the puppy’s supply bag.
“I’m not, not really. Thought it’d lighten the mood, which it did. And if it got me an answer in the process, bonus. But I’m not going to pry into your personal business. If the guy turns out to be important, or there’s something I should be aware of, I trust you to let me know. Here, let me get that, it’s heavier than it looks,” he said, stepping forward to pick up the bag as she slipped her arm under the straps.
“Thanks.” She followed him to the kitchen. Watched him unpack the seemingly bottomless bag onto her counter, where he sorted it into a tidy line.
“I’ll bring her crate in from the car and set it up wherever you want it. Lennox will monitor the supplies and I’ll make sure you never run out. You shouldn’t need anything else. If you do, let me know and I’ll reimburse you. The puppy will cost you time, but all monetary expense will be mine. I’ve already set up an account for her at your veterinarian’s office, should you have to take her there for any reason. They’ll charge my credit card.”
“So organized.”
“Just the way you like things.” He knew her so well. After hanging his heart out and taking rejection with more grace than most, he deserved an answer.
“He’s younger than me, the guy I’m seeing,” she said, leaning on the counter. “Considerably younger. That’s why I don’t expect it to last, long term.”
Mirroring her position, Tim leaned against the island. “Define ‘considerably.’”
“Fourteen years. He’s twenty-eight.” Only because she was scrutinizing his reaction did she notice the slight elevation of Tim’s eyebrows. “For the record, this isn’t a midlife cougar phase. I knew him from the gym when he used to be there, but never expected to date him. I ran into him in the coffee shop recently and there was a spark. I mean, there had always been a spark, but neither of us had ever acted on it. He asked me out and it grew quickly from there. He’s friendly and funny, very intelligent, he works hard, owns his own place and is close with his family.”
“You’ve met his family?”
“Just his mother. She stopped by Sam’s place while I was there.”
“Sam?” Tim’s eyebrows rose another notch. “The guy I met at the bakery?”
Apparently, her subconscious had decided to share more information than her conscious had planned. No going back now. “Yes.”
“I see,” he said.
She knew Tim pretty damn well too, and “I see” was his standard placeholder response.
“Whatever’s on your mind, Tim, just say it.”
“All right. At the bakery, Sam introduced himself as your friend, but I sensed it was more than that. When you told me that you’re seeing somebody, I wondered if it might be him. Even so, I had it branded as a casual fling, based on his appearance. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful and nobody would guess you’re forty-two, but Sam is obviously younger. Listening to you describe him though, things don’t sound casual.”
“They’re not. I thought it would be casual, but it turned out to be more than that.”
Tim nodded. “Passionately in-love more.”
“Passion, for sure.”
“But not love? Doesn’t passion without love fall into the casual category?” He held a hand up before she could answer. “No ulterior motives here, I promise.”
“You’re not ‘asking for a friend?’”
He laughed. “I suppose I am. But the friend is you, not me.”
“Me? How so?”
“By giving my friend some good advice. If Sam makes you feel the way you told me you want to feel, you should go for it. You don’t get a big payoff by taking a small chance.”
“Spoken like a true businessman.”
“True,” he said, chuckling. “But also spoken as somebody who took a big personal chance and got the biggest payoff in the world—my daughter. Imagine your life if it didn’t include Lennox, if you hadn’t taken that chance with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Exactly.” He nodded again. “You never know, you might feel that way about Sam one day.”
“Maybe, but now it’s too soon for that. It’s too soon to feel love.”
“That’s your analytical brain talking. And it’s a great brain, but sometimes you should listen to your heart instead. Your heart already knows how you feel—or don’t feel. If the seed isn’t there, no amount of fertilizer and patience will make something grow. But if there’s something there, take the leap. If you fall and get hurt, you’ll survive. Trust me.”
Guilt stabbed at her again. For years, she’d hoped and tried to return Tim’s deeper feelings. From day one, she’d liked him, enjoyed his company. Their goals and ideals aligned perfectly. The sex was decent and with it, they’d created an amazing child. Yet, she’d never fallen in love with him.
His analogy was bang on. As for his theory that her heart already knew if she loved Sam…
“Mommy, Daddy, are you done talking?” Lennox asked, poking her head—and the puppy’s—into the kitchen. “Ladybug was whining in my room and I don’t want her to have an accident in the house.”
“Bring her through, honey. Let’s take her out into the backyard and show her where to do her business. I think the back corner near the composter would be a good spot, if we can get her accustomed to doing her business in that area. Might as well start the training immediately, right?”
Lennox’s eyes lit up. “Does that mean Ladybug can stay here until Daddy figures out what to do about keeping her at his house?”
“How about she stays here permanently instead?”
“Thank you, Mommy!” Pure joy emanated from her little girl as she squeezed the puppy within an inch of its life.
Leigh crossed the room and stroked the dog’s head and chin. “Welcome home, Ladybug. You really are cute.” The affirmation earned her a slimy puppy tongue swipe across the face. “Eww, gross,” she sputtered while wiping her mouth.
“She loves you, Mommy,” Lennox said, giggling.
“That, or she’s seeing how I taste.” The innocent comment brought less-than-innocent thoughts of Sam to the forefront of her mind. Memories of his face between her legs stoked the inextinguishable fire he’d lit. If that’s all it was, she’d be fine with it. If that’s all it was, she wouldn’t have mentioned him to Tim, or engaged in a meaningful discussion of love versus in love.
She sighed and pressed a kiss to Ladybug’s velvety head. No point in fighting the inevitable. With the puppy or with Sam. Her heart was going to win, even if that meant it’d break in the end.
Chapter 9
LEIGH
Brian smiled as she approached Focus’s front desk. “Good workout today?”
“It was, yes. Much more focused than my first time here.”
The big ginger-haired man chuckled at her cheesy use of his club’s name in the answer. Perhaps also at her subtle admission that she’d put more effort into watching Sam than exercising on her previous visit. Either way, Brian was friendly and good-natured. Generous too, since he’d given her a complimentary, open-ended membership.
“Thank you again for letting me use your beautiful club.” A ping sounded from the card reader as she used the machine to check out. “I promise not to take advantage of the free pass.”
“You’d better take advantage of it.” Sam’s voice slid into her ear as he banded her waist from behind. “If we can’t see each other elsewhere, I want to see you here, at least.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said, adding, at a whispered level, “now let go of me.”
“Worried I’m going
to get in trouble with my boss?”
“Yes.” A lie to cover the true reason—physical contact with Sam, even this little bit, spiked her libido to raging-need levels. Kind of problematic with no opportunity for orgasmic relief in the schedule.
Sam released her, winking as he moved around to meet her gaze. “Must’ve been an intense workout today, your face is still pink.” Only together a couple of weeks and he could read her body’s reactions as easily as a kindergarten book. Read it like a Braille book would be more accurate, though that line of thinking didn’t help her current tingling-with-need state.
Both men’s attention shifted toward the door as a stunning redhead entered. Tall and curvaceous in a black pencil skirt and short, fitted blazer, her long, wavy hair shimmered as she turned, waving while cutting a path straight toward them. No wonder Sam had abandoned Leigh to join Brian behind the counter.
“It’s rare to see you both at the front desk.” Her smiling gaze moved back and forth between the two trainers. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Not at all. I’m doing a bit of quick computer housekeeping and Sam’s saying goodbye to his girlfriend while he waits for his next client.”
“Sam has a girlfriend?” She turned her head, a pair of green eyes as gorgeous as the rest of her landing on Leigh’s face. “My grandmother will be devastated to hear Sam is off the market. He’s my grandmother’s personal trainer. It’s fair to say she has a bit of a crush on him.”
“Then she and I both have excellent taste.”
A husky laugh slipped through the woman’s fire-engine-red lips. “She’d like hearing that.” She extended her right hand. “I apologize for interrupting,” she said, smiling as they shook. “Frances McKenna. If I’m lucky, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”
Sam met Leigh’s glance in his direction. “Frances is interviewing for a position here.”
“Interviewing us is probably closer to the truth,” Brian said, coming out from behind the counter to stand in front of Frances. “As far as I’m concerned, the space is yours, if you want it. If so, we can go through the contract.”