by Claire Adams
With each passing day, I was growing more and more frustrated. Even jerking off in my room wasn’t helping. My mind was focused on one thing, and that was how best to convince Mila to sleep with me. I hated having her on my mind constantly. I hated waking up thinking of her with a raging hard on that was so stiff it was painful. I hated sparring with her in the training ring, knowing that I couldn’t grab her, throw her down, and have her right then and there.
“She’s enjoying the training,” Devon said.
“I think she has a point to prove to me,” I said.
Devon smirked. “I don’t think she’s trying to prove anything to you,” he said. “She’s trying to prove something to herself.”
“And you know this because?”
“She told me as much,” Devon replied. “It’s not all about you, Zack.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Is that your subtle way of telling me to stay away from your sister again?” I asked, catching on.
“She’s got enough to deal with without having to fend off you as well.”
“Let’s be clear about this,” I said, lowering my tone dangerously. “Your sister’s a big girl. I think she can handle herself. And more importantly, I have the right to fuck whomever I choose… whether she’s your sister or not. Who knows… maybe I’ve already fucked her?”
I saw Devon’s jaw clench, but he stayed calm. “I know you haven’t.”
“Excuse me?”
“You haven’t slept with Mila,” Devon replied. “She told me.”
I kept my expression neutral, but I realized that the siblings were closer than I had initially anticipated.
“She did, did she?”
“Yeah.”
I felt my guard drop for a moment as my curiosity got the best of me. There were questions I needed answered, and since I wasn’t getting them from Mila, maybe Devon was my best remaining option.
“Did she tell you about the time we were rolling around in the boxing ring, ready to fuck each other silly when she freaked out and ran out on me?” I saw his expression freeze for a second, and I realized that Mila hadn’t told him that much. Feeling slightly smugger about it, I continued. “Why do you think she freaked out?”
“How the fuck would I know?” Devon asked uncomfortably. “She probably couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping with you.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t it,” I scoffed. “She wanted me… But something happened. She looked for a second almost like she was… scared.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Devon said in irritation. “I don’t really know about my sister’s sexual preferences. Nor do I want to.”
I smiled at his discomfort. “Hey, you’re the one who brought up the topic.”
“This was not the fucking topic,” he said, through gritted teeth. “You want to know why she ran from you… here’s a thought: ask her.”
Then he turned tail and zoomed out before I could ask him any more uncomfortable questions. Chuckling to myself, I decided to go for a little spin on my Harley. It had been a long time since I went out for a ride just for the sake of it. I wanted to drive fast down a highway and experience that incomparable feeling of freedom that you could only truly appreciate on the back on a motorbike.
I was making my way to the garage when I noticed Mila in my peripheral vision. She was walking fast with her back to me, and her head turned down. Frowning, I followed her, wondering where she was heading. She walked far enough away that the clubhouse and the garage weren’t close by, but she was still on the premises. Then she found a smooth rock underneath the shade of a tree and sat down there.
I stayed behind trees and watched her carefully. I couldn’t see her face very clearly, but from what I could see, she seemed a little upset, even sad. I wondered if I should just give her a moment and leave her alone, but something about the way she was staring off into the distance made me want to talk to her and ask if she was doing ok.
A part of me acknowledged the fact that it was completely out of character for me to even care about Mila’s moods, but lots of things had changed since she had entered the clubhouse. I was forced to admit that to myself as I walked up to her. Mila saw me coming, and she seemed to tense up a little. Then she wiped at her face awkwardly, and I wondered if she was trying to conceal tears.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” she responded. Her voice definitely sounded a little pinched as though she were emotional about something.
“Everything ok?”
“Fine,” she replied curtly. “I just wanted to be alone. Apparently, that didn’t work out so well.”
I raised my eyebrows and nodded. “Fine… sorry to disturb you.”
I turned my back on her, but she called after me almost immediately. “No, wait, Zack,” she said. “I… you don’t have to go.”
I turned back to her slowly, and after a moment I went and sat down beside her.
“I guess I just felt a little frustrated all of a sudden,” Mila volunteered. “And it hit me out of the blue and… I guess I just needed some space.”
“What hit you out of the blue?” I asked.
She sighed. “What am I even doing here, Zack?” she asked, gesturing towards the clubhouse. “I’ve been here a couple of weeks, and I have no idea when I’ll get to leave.”
I didn’t like the thought of her leaving. I shouldn’t have felt that way, but there was no denying that I did.
“I quit my job because I was so scared to go to work one day and find Walter out front waiting for me,” Mila continued. “It wasn’t like it was a great job or anything, but it was something to do. At least I felt marginally useful. But here… I’m not doing anything—”
“You’re training,” I reminded her. “You’re learning how to defend yourself.”
Mila shrugged. “I know, and that’s the one thing that keeps me going. But the fact remains… Walter’s still out there, and I can’t move on with my life until he’s found. I can’t leave here till he’s found. I don’t know… sometimes I just feel like I’m going stir crazy, sitting here day in, day out waiting for news that never comes.”
“You have to be patient,” I said.
“I miss my old life,” Mila said fervently. “Actually, scratch that. My old life wasn’t that great. But I do miss my freedom. I miss being able to go out whenever I wanted. I miss being able to go for dinner or a movie or… even a walk around the block.”
Before now, it hadn’t even occurred to me how horrible it must be to be confined to one place, terrified to step out of it even for a moment. I put myself in Mila’s position, and I felt my whole body rebel at the idea of being contained the way she had to be.
“We’ll find Walter Black,” I said. “And then you’ll get your freedom back.”
Mila smiled sadly. “I hope so,” she nodded. “But there’s a possibility you might not find him at all.”
“That’s not—”
“There is a chance,” Mila interrupted me. “It may be a small chance, but it exists, and I have to be prepared for it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I may have to leave town,” Mila revealed. “And go somewhere new… somewhere nobody knows me. Somewhere I can start fresh.”
I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I pictured Mila packing her bags and walking away. It shouldn’t have hurt me… but it did.
Chapter Fourteen
Mila
Red pinned me to the ground and laughed. He obviously thought he had won the fight, but he was cocky and careless, and I took advantage of that. With one move, I had escaped from his hold, kicked him to the floor, and suddenly I was the one on top.
The men standing around the ring hooted and cheered at the unexpected turn of events, and I could feel Red struggling to right himself.
“No chance, kid,” I laughed at him. “I’ve got you this time.”
I counted to three, and then Bones called it. I was the victor, and the men went wild with cheers and applause
. I heard Red curse furiously as I let him go, and he got to his feet, flushing with embarrassment. I glanced at him to make sure his pride wasn’t too bruised, and he gave me a tentative smile that was tinged with admiration.
“How the fuck did you manage that?” he demanded.
“First of all, I took advantage of the fact that you obviously underestimated me,” I said. “Second of all, I took advantage of your weaknesses.”
“I don’t have any weaknesses,” Red said immediately.
I laughed. “Oh, that’s right. Is that why you won the fight? Oh, wait…”
The men laughed, and Red cursed again. “Well, I’ll say one thing for Zack… he trained you well.”
“Please! You should see her with Zack’s blade,” Lonny said. “She’s deadly with that thing.”
I followed Red out of the ring as the men looked at me with new respect. I had to admit, it was a heady feeling, and it made me feel like if Walter walked into the training ring right now, I would be able to take him out easily. I knew that was simply my ego talking, but it was nice to imagine all the same.
“I thought that blade looked familiar,” I heard Red say. “Didn’t John used to use it?”
That caught my attention, and I listened more carefully as the men spoke.
“Yeah, it was John’s… it’s like a family heirloom or whatever.”
“Fuck, that can’t be true.”
“Nah… but it has been passed down from father to son at least two generations back,” Bones clarified. “It’s small, so he figured it would be easy for Mila to use.”
“Yeah, that and he wants to get in her pants,” Red sniggered.
I came a little closer, and Red caught sight of me. “Oh… didn’t see you, Mila.”
“Where did you think I went, Red?” I smirked at him.
“Dipshit,” Lonny said, smacking him in the back of the head. “Don’t pay attention to him, Mila.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I never pay attention to Red.”
The men laughed, and I took a sip of water, but my mind was elsewhere. Was it true that Zack had given me his father’s blade? That was a pretty significant gesture… right? But he did have a complicated relationship with his father, so maybe it wasn’t as sentimental a gesture as I was interpreting it to be.
“Are you staying the night today?” Red asked, looking over at the other boys.
“We’re going riding tonight,” Lonny told him.
“Hey, nobody told me,” Red complained.
“Yeah… and most people take that as a hint.”
“Fuck you!” Red said.
I laughed and left the boys to their antics. I went upstairs and had a quick shower in my tiny little bathroom. I put on sweats and collapsed onto my bed. My body was tired, but my mind was wired from the workout. I was supposed to have training with Zack this morning, but when I had walked into the training arena, he was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he had sent word that he had errands to run and he had told some of the other guys to train with me. I had to admit; I had been a little disappointed. I didn’t mind training with the other guys, but it wasn’t the same as it was with Zack. And lately, the two of us had been getting along a lot better.
Apparently, when Zack let his guard down long enough to speak to me like a human being and not just a piece of meat, we actually managed to find some common ground. We actually managed to hold conversations that stuck with me days after. I hadn’t seen him the whole day, and I kind of missed him. For a second, I wondered if he was off with some random woman, and my stomach turned at the thought.
“Dear God,” I whispered to myself. “I hope that’s not true.”
I knew I had no right to hope such a thing. Zack had every right to see other women. He had every right to fuck other women. Especially since I’d made it very clear to him that I wasn’t about to sleep with him. But still, jealousy burned inside me. Even if he weren’t with anybody right now, he would be one day. Maybe leaving was the best option for me no matter how this thing turned out with Walter.
This experience, living with the crew had changed me. It wasn’t immediately evident, but I knew that the moment I tried to go back to my old life, I would feel its effects. The only thing I really missed was my freedom. Sometimes being in the clubhouse felt like an open cage.
I was just thinking about Zack and where he might be when I heard a knock on my door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s me,” Zack replied.
I jumped to my feet and moved quickly to answer the door. Zack stood there, taking up the entire doorway with his impressive size. He was holding a large bag, and he pushed past me as though he didn’t want anyone else to see what was inside it.
“Where have you been all day?” I asked. “I thought we had training together.”
“We did,” Zack nodded. “Something came up.”
“Is it about Walter?” I asked.
“Uh… no,” Zack replied, and I wondered why he looked so awkward. “Actually, this has nothing to do with Walter.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t seem to know where to begin. Finally, he replied by shoving the bag at me. “Here,” he said, by way of explanation.
“Please tell me Walter’s head is not in here?”
He almost smiled. “Just open it.”
Thoroughly confused, I opened the bag and peered inside. There were a couple of dresses hiding inside, and my confusion increased. “These are clothes,” I said.
“Yes.”
“Why are you giving me clothes?” I asked.
“Well, remember when we were talking yesterday by the tree?” Zack asked.
“Yes?”
“Well I just thought that you might benefit from an evening out,” he said. “You can get dressed up and experience a little freedom.”
“Oh,” I said, shocked and touched by the gesture.
“The thing is… with Walter on the loose, I can’t really let you go out on your own…”
“Ok?”
“So I’ll come with you,” Zack replied. “Just so that you’re protected.”
I felt a smile come on, but I held it back. It almost sounded like this was his roundabout attempt to ask me out on a date. Given what had happened between us in the training arena, this was the last thing I had expected from him.
“Wow… I… this is a surprise.”
“I just thought you might like it,” Zack said quickly. “We don’t have to go if you’re not into the idea.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m into the idea. You have no idea how nice it will be to get out.”
Zack nodded. “Ok then… we’ll leave at eight?”
“Sure,” I nodded. “Sounds good.”
Zack stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then he turned and walked out of my room. The smile broke through across my face, and I closed the door feeling buoyant. I knew it was silly of me to get so worked up over a casual night out, but I wondered if this was Zack’s way of swallowing his pride and treating me like I wanted to be treated.
“Slow down, Mila,” I told myself. “This might be exactly what he says it is.”
I opened the bag and pulled out the dresses that Zack had brought me for. There were three choices, and I studied them each carefully. The first dress was extremely sexy. It was a figure-hugging black strapless mini with an open back and cut out details on the side. The second dress was much more conservative. It was a pale, sea green dress with see-through sleeves that fell to the elbow.
The third dress fell somewhere in the middle. It was sexy without being overly obvious about it. It was a red off the shoulder mini dress that was fitted in the waist and chest and billowed slightly from the hips. I was immediately drawn to the red dress, and I held it up to my body, noticing that Zack had got the right size for me.
Impressed with his selection and the fact that he had brought me three dresses to choose from, I glanced at the clock. Eight o’clock was still an hour away, but I was so excited
that I started getting ready immediately. I went to the bathroom and did a little last-minute grooming, making sure my eyebrows were plucked and my hair was all right.
Then I slipped on the red dress, and it fit like a glove. The mirror in my room was small and grainy, so I couldn’t exactly get a good view of myself, but the little I did see looked good, and I felt instantly more confident. I also realized that the last few weeks of training had changed my body somewhat. It was leaner and stronger. My stomach was flatter and more defined, and even my arms looked good.
I applied just the faintest touch of lipstick and rouge, choosing not to overdo it just in case Zack interpreted that as real interest. Then I paired the dress with my black jacket and my favorite pair of black boots that could be dressed up or down.
I stared at my grainy reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath. I knew my feelings for Zack were fast growing, but I couldn’t seem to rein them in. I decided to see how tonight played out. If a physical relationship was the only thing that Zack was after, then it would become evident soon. And if not… then I would have to cross that bridge when I came to it.
The clubhouse was empty as I walked downstairs. I was thankful for that because I didn’t want to have to deal with the stares and the questions from the other guys. I suspected that Zack felt the same way too.
No one was downstairs, so I walked outside, and the moment I took a step out of the door, Zack zoomed in on his massive Harley, taking my breath away. He looked extremely impressive on the back of the colossal motorbike. There was something very seductive about seeing a man who knew how to handle a powerful machine. Zack was dressed in his dark denim and a leather jacket that made my heart do a little flutter. He looked better than a movie star, and for a second, I actually hoped that this was a legitimate date.
“Hop on,” Zack said revving his engine.
“We’re going on your bike?” I asked.
Zack smiled. “Scared?”
I shot him a glare. “Please,” I said, rolling my eyes as I walked towards him.