by Claire Adams
Considering the dress I had chosen was a mini, I could easily hike up my leg and get on the back of the bike, behind Zack. I wrapped my hands around him and nodded. “Ok,” I said. “I’m ready.”
“Here,” he said, passing me a helmet.”
“You’re not wearing one,” I pointed out.
“I don’t need one,” he said cockily.
“Why?” I demanded. “Because you’re invincible?”
“Sure.”
I shook my head at him. “Don’t be ridiculous… wear a helmet.”
“I ride better without one,” he said stubbornly. “Now put on the helmet.”
Clenching my jaw, I did as I was told, and Zack took off immediately. I felt my heart flutter as we left the premises and headed onto a main road. The moment we were clear and there was only open space and unending road ahead of us, Zack picked up speed, and I felt cold wind smash against my face. It was like the hardest yet the most intoxicating kiss I’d ever experienced.
There was nothing gentle or tender about the wind as it smacked against my face, but there was something also extremely liberating about traveling at that speed. At first, I felt a little pang of nervousness because of how fast Zack was going, but then I relaxed when I realized he knew what he was doing. He was confident and sure of himself, and he didn’t take any unnecessary risks. Even the speed was completely in his control. At least that’s how he made me feel.
The longer we rode, I felt my body growing accustomed to the ride. I could feel my soul screaming in delight at the brilliant sense of freedom that I had longed for all these weeks. At that moment, I felt invincible too, and suddenly I understood it. I understood all of it. This was the whole point of the club. This freedom was what everyone who joined was after. Because once you experienced that kind of freedom, how could you go back to mundane, everyday life? How could you go back to a life of tradition and convention? This was real living.
Chapter Fifteen
Zack
We rode for almost half an hour before I stopped at my all-time favorite burger shack that made gourmet burgers with artisan ingredients. I helped Mila off my bike, and we walked inside. I was trying very hard to stay cool and keep my eyes off her. She looked flawless in the red dress I had picked out this morning.
Even her auburn hair matched the bright, sexy color. She had paired it with a cool jacket and black lace-up boots that made her look like a biker chick, and I had to admit, it made me imagine things I had no business imagining.
“What’ll you have?” I asked.
“Have you been here before?” Mila asked.
“Are you kidding… this place is my go-to for good burgers,” I told her.
Mila smiled. “Then what do you recommend?”
“Everything,” I replied. “Honestly, you can’t go wrong. My favorite is the beef burger… slow cooked spiced beef with lettuce, tomato, crispy onions, bacon and homemade mayonnaise.”
Mila’s eyes turned to the picture on the large menu that had been pinned up behind the counter and her eyes widened. “Whoa… that’s a giant of a burger.”
“It comes with garlic chili fries and pepper crusted onion rings.”
“I’m sold,” she said, obviously not bothered about what I thought about her appetite. “I’ll try that one.”
We stepped up to the counter to place the order, and Miriam turned and caught sight of me. “Zackary,” she said. “You haven’t been in a few weeks.”
“I’ve been busy,” I replied. “But I’ve been dreaming of you.”
She gave me a wink and then her eyes fell on Mila, and I saw the curiosity on her face. “Well, well,” she said. “Who do we have here?”
I gave a little internal sigh. “Uh… this is Mila,” I said, keeping the introduction short and vague. “Mila, this is Miriam… the owner and mastermind behind half the burgers on the menu.”
“More than half the burgers on the menu,” she corrected immediately. “It’s nice to meet you, Mila.”
“You too,” Mila smiled.
“This must be a special occasion,” Miriam continued, and I instantly regretted bringing Mila here. At the very least, I should have thought ahead and told her to wait for me by my Harley.
“Why?” Mila asked, with a frown.
“Well because I’ve never seen Zack with a woman,” Miriam said. “He’s the love ‘em and leave ‘em type you know.”
Mila’s smile deepened a little. “Oh, I do know,” she nodded. “But we’re not together.”
“No?” Miriam asked, looking slightly disappointed.
“Just friends,” Mila said.
“What a shame,” Miriam said. “You two match one another.”
“How about you take our order now, Miriam?” I cut in impatiently.
Miriam shot me a glare. “Oh, fine… won’t let an old lady have a little fun.”
She took our order, which included two tall ice blends, that was a cross between a drink and a milkshake that was all kinds of good, and then we headed back towards the motorbike.
“We’re not eating here?” Mila asked.
“And have Miriam watch our every move?” I said. “No way… I have someplace better in mind.”
I secured away our food, and then we started the next leg of our journey. Ten minutes later, I parked outside a large meadow-like field that was dotted by huge trees whose branches stretched out for miles. There was a light fence enclosing the area, but we could easily vault over and take out pick of trees. Without the wind slamming against our faces from the speed we were traveling, it was actually not overly cool.
The moon hovered over the field in all its bright glory, surrounded by a peppering of stars that seemed to burn a little brighter.
“Wow,” Mila said, as we moved further into the field. “This is amazing.”
“I’ve passed this area a ton… I’ve never actually stopped here though.”
We found a nice large tree and settled under it. Then we brought out the food and got sucked in, considering we were both hungry from the ride and the smell.
“Wow,” Mila said. “That is one amazing burger.”
“I told you,” I nodded.
I watched Mila attack her meal, and I couldn’t help smiling at the sight. She wasn’t evenly remotely self-conscious about it. She ate to her heart’s content, and she actually managed to polish off most of the burger.
We ate mostly in silence until the edge was taken off our hunger. But all the while I kept glancing over at Mila, noticing just how beautiful she was. There was something almost pure about her, and it made me want to be better… I just didn’t know how.
“Zack?”
“Yeah?” I said, looking up at her.
“Thank you.”
She said it softly and fervently, and she looked me directly in the eye. I felt her gratitude reverberate towards me and I was touched by the sincerity of it.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I said gruffly.
“No, I do,” she insisted. “You have no idea how amazing it felt to be outside… the ride here… that was one of the singular most liberating things I’ve ever experienced.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Does that mean you actually like my Harley now?”
Mila smiled. “I could get on board with motorcycles,” she nodded. “That was amazing.”
“I’m glad you had a good time.”
“Zack?”
“Yeah?”
“The dagger that I use in my training… did it used to belong to your father?” she asked.
I paused. Obviously, she had heard one of the guys talking. “Yes,” I admitted. “His father gave it to him when he was a teenager.”
“And your father gave it to you?”
“Well… yeah.”
“I feel weird using it now.”
“Don’t,” I said. “It suits you better, and I never really used it much. I think you should keep it.”
“Keep it?” Mila repeated, and she sounded astonished.
/> “Yeah,” I shrugged. “A little gift from teacher to student.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m dead serious,” I nodded.
“But even if you don’t really use it… it has to hold some sentimental value for you.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not a sentimental person.”
“Bullshit,” Mila said emphatically. “I don’t buy that for a second. Every single person out there has a sentimental side. It’s just that some of us manage to hide it better than others. You put on this tough guy façade, and I understand that you need to, but I think I see through that now. Underneath it all… you’re a really decent man.”
I should have felt defensive about that assessment, but somehow, I didn’t. Instead, I felt…like I could be more of myself with Mila. And that was strange because I’d never felt that way with anyone else before… not my father or my mother.
“Mila… I have something to tell you,” I said.
“Ok?”
“I lied to you about the reason my father and I fell out when I was a teenager.”
Mila smiled slightly. “I knew that.”
“I just…”
“You weren’t ready to share with me just yet,” Mila replied.
“Exactly.”
“I get it,” she nodded.
“I found out something about my parents,” I admitted. “When I was fifteen.” Mila stayed silent and waited patiently for me to continue my story. “I heard my parents fighting one night, and I started asking questions, and slowly the truth came out… about how my parents had met. It turned out that my mother was seeing another man when she met my father. His name was Godwin.”
“Godwin?” Mila repeated frowning. Then suddenly realization dawned on her face and her mouth shaped into a little ‘o.’ “You mean the Godwin?”
“Yes,” I nodded.
“Oh my god.”
“They were all really young and things got messy,” I continued. “Long story short… Mom chose my father over Godwin.”
“And that’s the real reason this feud started between the Angels and the Knights?” Mila asked.
“That’s at the root of it, yes,” I nodded. “But there was… an overlap.”
Mila frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I suppose my father always questioned whether… I was his son or not.”
Mila raised her eyebrows. “Oh…”
“At the time… I felt as though he thought I wasn’t,” I admitted. “It felt like he was so hard on me sometimes because he knew I wasn’t his son.”
“Wow…”
“Anyway, I was young and angry and rebellious, and I turned on him. We had a huge fight one day, and I left home in anger. I was too proud to go back immediately, so I tried to figure my shit out first. When I went back home, two years had passed, and I had stopped being a child. But I had to show my father that. I had to prove that to him. I had to earn back my place in the club.”
“Did… did you ever find out…”
“Who my father really is?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“In the end, it didn’t matter,” I admitted. “My dad was the man who had raised me. My dad was the one who had taught me and protected me and advised me through my formative years. It didn’t matter who my real father was because I knew who my dad was. In the end, we both knew that, and it was enough.”
Mila smiled softly at me. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
I shrugged, trying to brush off the tender moment. “I just felt bad lying to you after I’d promised you an honest answer.”
She seemed to understand what I was trying to do because her expression didn’t change. She grew very quiet for a moment, and I saw her eyes cloud over. Then she looked at me and took a deep breath. “I’m a virgin,” she revealed.
I had not expected that, and I could only stare at her for a moment. “I… what?”
“I’m a virgin,” Mila said again.
“Is that why you freaked out on me that day in the ring?” I asked as all the dots connected.
“Yes,” Mila nodded.
“Fuck,” I breathed.
“The night that Walter attacked me, he wanted to have sex, and I kept putting it off because the idea of having sex with him terrified me. When I finally said no, he completely lost it and went for my throat. He was also half drunk… but he was usually half drunk.”
I felt my fists clench in anger, and there was nothing more I wanted at this moment than to wrap my hands around Walter Black’s throat and choke the life out of him. I kept my expression calm however and tried to stay in the moment with Mila.
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked, not wanting to push her.
“You want to know why I’m still a virgin at twenty-three?”
“Well… yeah.”
Mila looked down for a second, and I saw from the way she wrung her hands together that she didn’t love explaining this part.
“You don’t have to tell me—”
“No, I want to,” she said. “My mother… had a lot of boyfriends. When I was fourteen there was one in particular. His name was Mike.”
“Did he touch you?” I demanded, feeling new rage rush through me.
“He tried to,” she nodded. “I woke up one night, and he was in bed with me. He had one hand on my breast and the other hand down my pajama pants.”
“Fuck,” I said, realizing how triggering that must have been for her.
“I screamed and pushed him away from me… my mother ran in, and they had a huge fight, and she ultimately kicked him out. He didn’t get the chance to rape me or anything… but it was my first experience with sex, and I suppose it… it turned me off. I promised myself that when I had sex it would be with someone I felt safe with.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Mila shrugged. “I’ve lived so much of my life being scared… mostly of men. Maybe that’s why I gravitated towards strong men who I assumed would protect me. But the fact is I need to stop relying on men and start relying on myself. I need to be my own savior. With your training, I might just be on my way.”
“You’ve come a long way.”
“Thanks to you,” Mila pointed out.
I shook my head. “I couldn’t have taught you anything if you weren’t willing to learn. It’s all you, Mila… it’s all you.”
I saw her smile as she looked out into the great wide vastness of the field. “This has been a wonderful night,” she said softly, as though she were talking to herself.
I looked up at the stars and nodded in agreement.
Chapter Sixteen
Mila
I had spent the whole day training with Zack and then later Bones and Lonny. I was exhausted and hungry, and I hadn’t even bothered to shower or change before heading straight to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.
I found a packet of instant noodles in the cupboard, and I decided to fry up some sausages to go with it. My mind kept drifting as I recalled last night’s dinner with Zack. I had come home in a fever of happiness, and I had dreamt the most beautiful dreams the whole of last night. It had even been difficult to get into the headspace of training because my mind had been stuck in the clouds half the time.
It had felt like a date, but nothing had really happened between us. Zack hadn’t even attempted to kiss me—not once. We had come back home, and he had said goodnight to me before we had both gone to our separate rooms. Maybe I had read too much into his gesture of taking me out. Maybe he just felt sorry that I was cooped up in the clubhouse all the time. It was for the best really, but a part of me also felt slightly disappointed.
Still, we had shared a lot with each other last night. He had admitted the truth to me about his father and their falling out, a truth that apparently, I was the only one who knew. And I had finally come clean about my virginity and the reason why Walter had flipped out on me that night. We had occupied a comfortable and trusting space
at that moment, and I wondered if it would hold in the light of day. Some magical moments were broken when you returned to normalcy and routine, and for a second, I was afraid.
But then I’d walked into the training arena this morning, and Zack had given me a small smile that suggested he had been thinking about last night too. We hadn’t spoken about it, but we also hadn’t been alone together the whole day. Nothing had really changed between us; maybe it was a feeling more than anything else.
I got the sausages out of the freezer, and I set them in a bowl of hot water so that they would defrost faster. Once that was done, my noodles were boiled nicely and ready to be thrown together with the sachet mix that gave it its flavor. I was just about to pull the sausages from their hot bath when I felt a shadow creep up on me. I hadn’t heard anyone, but I knew instinctively that someone was behind me and that someone didn’t want to be heard or seen.
My first thought was how on earth had Walter gotten into the clubhouse. I had thought this was a safe haven and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to enter the Angels’ territory. But then again, I had no idea what he was capable of. All this sped through my head in two seconds flat, before I felt large arms engulf me, binding my arms to my side.
A few months ago, I would have panicked, and my best defense would have been to scream as loud as I could and hope to God that someone would hear me. But my instincts jumped to survival mode, and I told myself to stay calm and do what Zack had trained me to do.
I pushed against the kitchen cabinets with my legs, forcing the man who had grabbed me to back into the opposite wall. I had a thud as his body slammed against the wall. The impact made him loosen his grip on me, and I took advantage of the moment and elbowed him hard in the stomach. I heard a grunt that sounded slightly familiar, but I didn’t pause to figure it out. I balled my hand into a fist and sent a backhanded punch straight for my attacker’s face.
I heard the crunch of broken bone, and I knew I had made contact with his nose. He dropped his arms immediately, and I felt him fall to the ground behind me. Feeling euphoric at my victory, I turned around to face my attacker.
“Justin!” I gasped in shock when I saw him lying there on the kitchen floor, clutching his nose while blood flowed from his nostrils.