by Jordan Marie
“I’m on house lockdown until further notice.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, until Dad can determine that we are no longer seeing each other, I’m not allowed to leave the house. I went out to get the mail from the mailbox yesterday and I thought he was going to stroke out about it.”
“We’re not breaking up, Luna.”
She looks up at me, sadness on her face, her hand moving to rest against the side of my neck.
“I know. They’ll give this up eventually. They’ll have to.”
“What if they don’t?”
“I’ll be eighteen soon and it won’t matter.”
“You won’t be eighteen until May, Luna. That’s like three months away—almost four. I missed your last birthday because we weren’t talking. I’m not going to miss this one—parents or no parents,” I warn her.
“You won’t miss it.”
“How do you know?”
“My birthday falls right before prom this year,” she says with a grin. “And I’m not missing my senior prom. I’m going with my boyfriend. My parents aren’t going to ruin it for me.”
“Luna—”
“And neither are you,” she mumbles, giving me a fake scowl.
“You’re really going to make me go to that shit?”
“Yep, tux and all. So, you better start saving up that money you’re making from the extra hours your boss has been giving you.”
“Christ.”
“Pussy whipped,” Jules singsongs.
“Sounds like it,” Atticus says dryly, and I tense as he joins us. “Down big brother, things are cool,” he says taking in my face. My eyebrow goes up in disbelief and he shrugs. “Luna’s made it clear we’re just friends, and I’m good with that. I’m seeing someone else now and I like her.”
“Who are you seeing?” Jules asks him, her eyes narrowing.
“None of your business,” Atticus laughs and for some reason he seems to be taking a lot of pleasure in his announcement. The asshole probably isn’t even seeing anyone and is trying to get Luna’s attention.
“That’s so great, Attie. I hope you’ve found someone that treats you like you deserve.”
God, there’s so much I could say to that.
“I’m happy,” Atticus affirms, and something seems different about him. He’s almost calm. Hell, maybe he has found someone. I don’t care, but if it makes living with him easier, I’m all for it.
“Great, everyone is happy,” Jules mumbles. “I’m out of here.”
“Jules—”
“Give it a rest, Luna. I’m fine. I’m going out with Darren again tonight. He’ll keep me safe from any knife wielding psychos.”
Jules takes off after that and Atticus lifts his shoulders to show his indifference.
“I guess I’m out of here too. Later, Luna. Gavin… let’s hope I don’t see you again today.”
“Finally, something we agree on,” I mumble and the bastard laughs. Something has definitely changed.
“Bye, Attie!” Luna calls.
“Well, that was different.”
“Atticus will get better, wait and see. He just needed time to get used to you and me as a couple.”
I don’t point out that my issues with my brother started long before I spoke one word to her. I don’t want to waste more time talking about him. It’s not important. There are other things on my mind.
“Are we a couple?”
“Of course we are. Why would you ask that? Do you want to break up with me, Gavin?”
I study Luna’s face and I see the distress there. I sigh.
I kiss her lips quickly, just a touch, not giving in and tasting her again—as much as I want to.
“No. But you said your parents…”
“So, we’ll work around them. I’m not giving you up, Gavin.”
“We can’t hide our relationship forever, Luna.”
“They’ll accept us eventually, Gavin.”
“And if they don’t?”
“Then, it won’t matter. I’ll have graduated high school and we’ll start our lives together.”
“You’d be willing to leave Stone Lake with me?” I ask her, my voice intense and hope causing my heart to beat faster.
She looks at me and for a minute I see something flash in her eyes. I don’t know how to read it, but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared.
“I’d be willing to go anywhere with you, Gavin. I love you.”
It feels like I’m breathing easy for the first time in my life. I kiss her then, pouring everything she makes me feel into the action.
Jules can call it pussy whipped, I don’t care.
The truth is, I don’t want to spend one day without Luna in my life.
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
LUNA
“How long do we have?” Gavin asks, and I immediately feel guilty.
We’ve been keeping our relationship a secret for the last month and a half. After that first day at school, we’ve taken great pains to not be seen together there. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I got home that evening my parents gave me hell about making out with Gavin in the hallway. I don’t know if it’s one of the teachers or students that have made it their mission to make sure my parents know what I’m doing, but Gavin and I spend our days barely acknowledging each other and stealing time away whenever possible.
Tonight, I’m at Jules’ house.
My father had to go back out of town and my mother relented, letting me spend the night with Jules on the condition we didn’t leave her house. Technically, I’ve not. Gavin brought us take out and we ate in Jules room. Jules is out with Darren, so we’ve enjoyed the place to ourselves.
I look at the clock beside the bed and frown.
“Jules will probably be back in an hour or so,” I tell him.
“Hey, don’t sound so sad. An hour is an hour. This is the best night I can remember having in forever.”
“I know. I just hate that we have to hide being together.”
“Yeah,” he says, lifting my hand off his chest and holding it so it is flat against his. Then, he stretches his hand flat against mine, palm against palm, fingers against fingers, before slowly threading them together, bringing my hand to his lips. “Someday soon, we’ll leave Stone Lake behind, Luna. We’ll start over just you and me.”
“You sound so sure of yourself.”
“I am. Together, there’s nothing we can’t conquer. We’ll have each other, that’s all we will need.”
“Where will we live?”
“Anywhere we want. Somewhere warm and sunny.”
“I do like the sound of that. And by the water.”
“Yeah, definitely close to the water,” he says his blue eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Are you going to school?”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” he murmurs.
“And?”
“I think I want to be a cop, Luna.”
“A cop?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah. When I had my court hearing? I got to sit back and watch a few cases and watched these detectives testify. It was interesting and it felt like…”
“Like what?”
“Like they were making a difference. I’d like that. I’d like to know what I was doing was making a difference. That sounds stupid I guess.”
“I don’t think it sounds stupid at all.”
“You don’t?”
“Nope. I don’t at all. I think you’d make a great detective.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’d ever get the training and experience to be a detective, but—”
“Bull hockey. You could be a detective or even an FBI agent like on television.”
“FBI?” he laughs.
“Definitely. You can do anything you want to do, Gavin Lodge.”
“You have that much faith in me?”
I roll so I’m lying on top of him and we’re gazing at each other. I let my fingers sift through his dark wavy hair.
“I
have complete faith in you, Gavin. I think you would rock being an agent.” I grin down at him, biting on my lip, then change my voice as if I was an announcer. “FBI Agent Gavin Lodge.”
I think I see him blush a little, and he shakes his head a little looking up at the ceiling.
“You’re crazy.”
“I can see it now. I’ll go out to the grocery store and all the women will be whispering.”
“They will, huh?”
“Oh, that’s the wife of FBI Agent Gavin Lodge. He just brought down an entire terrorist cell all by himself.”
“I’m not sure I’d want to deal with terrorist cells,” he laughs.
“Well, whatever,” I mock.
“I do like one part of that sentence though.”
“What was that?” I whisper, loving how his eyes go darker and his voice gets a gravely texture to it when he talks lows. It sends chills of awareness over my body. My gaze immediately zeros in on his lips, and I watch them move as he talks. He really is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life.
“The wife part.”
“Oh… I uh… I didn’t mean that you had to—”
“I like it, Luna.”
“You do?” I ask, having trouble breathing.
“Fuck yeah, I do.”
“Okay then.” I grin, smiling so big that it’s almost painful.
“It may be bumpy to begin with, Luna. But you need to know that I don’t care if we have to live in my truck at first, whatever I need to do, I will do to give you the world.”
“Live in your truck?” I ask, wondering how that would work. Not that I mind, if that was what we would have to do to be together, then we’d do it.
“Starting out maybe. I’d make sure you were safe, though. I’d get a job, two or three if I needed to. I’m not afraid of hard work, Luna. Even if it was sweeping floors and washing dishes, I will find a way to get money together so we could rent a nice place. I’d take care of you, I swear.”
“I can get a job too. I want to help, Gavin. It will be our future.”
“Ours,” he agrees.
“I love you,” I murmur as his lips come down on mine. He doesn’t give me the words back, but he shows me that he feels the same by the way he kisses me and that’s more than enough.
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
GAVIN
“Where have you been?”
Atticus looks up at my question as he closes the window. I had the glass cut for it and repaired it a couple months back. I think I did a pretty good job, considering I’d never tried anything like that before. I look at the clock on my table and it’s almost four in the morning. I didn’t get back from Jules until around two. I didn’t want to leave Luna. Jules came home, however, and I headed out. I didn’t expect to find my brother wasn’t home yet. It’s not that I care really, but it’s peculiar for him to be out this long. He’s up to something, he’s been way too laid back lately—especially about me and Luna.
“My how the tables have turned. I guess this is the part where I tell you that it’s none of your business.”
“Whatever,” I respond with a shrug. He wants to be secretive, I don’t give a damn. I’m actually just thankful he’s given up causing problems between me and Luna.
“Does Dad know that I’ve been gone?”
“You mean, did I rat you out?”
“Yeah,” Atticus presses, kicking off his shoes and throwing his coat on the floor.
“Nah, he’s been passed out most of the night,” I tell him. “He was still sleeping it off when I got home.”
“Nothing like being able to rely on dear old Dad.”
“Yeah. Can you remember Atticus?”
“Remember?”
“Was he ever different? When Mom was here, I mean? Or was he always…”
“A drunken lush?” Atticus supplies and I nod in agreement.
There’s silence for a while as Atticus gets in bed. I figure he’s not going to answer. I kind of regret that because this is the first decent conversation we’ve had in forever. It’s almost… nice. He doesn’t have the stored-up anger he always spews at me.
“Gavin?”
“Yeah?”
“You won’t keep Luna.”
“Let it go, Atticus,” I grumble. I should have known better. Atticus will never change.
“I’m not saying it to be a bastard. Well, maybe I am a little. I really care about Luna, but I’m just saying, whatever plan you’re cooking up in your head. It won’t happen.”
“Why is that?”
“Because Luna loves her parents. She’ll never go against them and her Dad will never accept you for his daughter. Never.”
“You’re wrong. Luna will always choose me. We’re going to go away together.”
“She may talk about it, but she’ll never leave Stone Lake. This is her home and…”
“Just say it and get it over with, Atticus.”
“If you convince her to leave, she’ll end up hating you for it. Luna’s not like us. She doesn’t know how hard life is. If she goes away with you, that’s all she’ll ever have. You’d do better to let her go now.”
I don’t respond. In my heart, I’m arguing he’s wrong. He doesn’t understand. The love that Luna and I share is special. It’s strong enough to survive whatever life throws at us. I’ll work hard to make sure nothing touches her. It won’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile is.
In my head, however, there’s this little voice that nags Atticus is right.
Fuck.
CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
LUNA
“C rap, Gavin, duck!” I urge him as quietly as I can, pulling on his arm, and we dive behind his truck.
“What in the hell?” Gavin asks, looking at me like I’m completely crazy.
“Dad’s walking into the school,” I hiss, peeking over the rim of his truck bed.
Gavin releases an angry breath and then, he stands up. I panic immediately and jerk so far down that my butt hits the ground.
“What are you doing? Get back down here,” I order him in an angry whisper.
“I’m not hiding on the ground like an idiot, Luna.”
“He’ll see you!”
“Maybe. He won’t see you though, unless you want to just stand up and face him like I’m willing to do.”
“Gavin, stop. Why are you talking like this? You know what will happen if Dad finds out we’re still seeing each other.”
“Do I, Luna? We don’t really know do we?”
“What is wrong with you?”
“I’m tired of hiding the fact that you and I are dating. I’m tired of being your dirty little secret,” he growls, looking down at me with anger, and I feel the hurt I’ve caused him. Guilt washes over me.
“I’m going to tell them, Gavin, I swear.”
“When? We’ve been sneaking around like this—”
“It’s not been that long, Gavin,” I defend.
“It’s been almost three months, Luna. Three months I’ve been this dirty little secret, only seeing you on the weekends when you go over to your girl’s house,” he growls.
I wish I could say this is coming out of left field, but I know that it’s not. Gavin has been getting increasingly upset over keeping our relationship under wraps. He hates that I talk to Jules and Atticus through the day but have to walk past him like I don’t even see him. I hate it too, it tears me up to ignore him, but I think he doesn’t see that part of it.
“I’m going to tell them, Gavin, I swear. I love you.”
“Do you? I don’t see you going up to your father and telling him about us. I don’t see you doing anything to change any of this. All I see is you hiding.”
“You’re not being fair, Gavin.”
“I don’t feel like being fair. I’m nineteen. I am not some scared kid that’s going to crawl on the ground to hide the woman who says she loves him.”
“If I tell my father we’re still seeing each other, he’ll transfer me to private school, and I’ll
never get out of the house. Then, we’ll never see each other. Is that what you want, Gavin?”
“You should get up, Luna. You better go see what your Dad is here for,” he says, turning away from me and getting inside his truck.
That panic inside of me gets worse and three words reverberate in my brain.
This is bad.
Why does it feel like I’m losing Gavin? I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that if I walk away from here, I might lose him forever.
That thought is terrifying…
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
GAVIN
Damn it.
I know I’m not being fair. I know I’m being an asshole. Luna doesn’t deserve this, not really. But, Christ! What man wants to cower down beside his truck and hide like a damn kid. I’m not a kid anymore and despite what Luna’s parents think, I could be good for Luna. I could…
In my head, I hear Atticus’s voice from months ago telling me that Luna will never choose me—that she will always pick her parents and Stone Lake. I’ve heard them over and over constantly ever since he first said them, and I can’t seem to shake them. I love Luna. I live for every moment I get with her, and as the months pass and we get closer to her birthday, to prom and ultimately graduation the time for her to decide is closer. Does she already know her decision? She says she’ll go with me. She says she doesn’t even need to think about it, but is she telling the truth? Is the future of us as real to her as it is to me? I can’t be sure, and to be honest, I’m not confident she will choose me. I’m actually starting to believe Atticus is right. Luna will pick her parents and staying in Stone Lake. I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares of Luna saying goodbye to me.
“Gavin, stop,” Luna says, standing up and standing at my truck door.
Her voice is muffled, and I should just leave, but I’ve already been a big enough dick. I crank the window down and stare at the girl I love more than breathing. She has no idea how bleak my life is here. She doesn’t know that Atticus and I weren’t able to keep the electricity on this last month and we’ve been sleeping under blankets and all the clothes we can fit on our bodies at one time. Last night I had on three pair of pants and thermal underwear. I’ve been at school all day and yet, my balls are still fucking frozen. I tore Atticus away from my father last night. Atticus came in late and Dad caught him and started beating the shit out of him. My brother might have been able to hold his own, but Dad caught him by surprise by hitting him across the back with a baseball bat. If he had gone higher and hit his head, chances are that Atticus wouldn’t be here. I’ve got bruises under my clothes from Dad’s licks, getting even with me for interrupting the fight, but I put the old man on his ass and got Atticus out of there.