“Not me?” I fluttered my lashes up at him for the benefit of our audience. Underneath those lashes, Marcus could see the murderous expression in my eyes.
“How could I give them you?”
How indeed. As far as Marcus knew I didn’t have any abilities. Marcus had been keeping our conversations strictly public since the ball, presumably so he wouldn’t give himself away. Little did he know it had also prevented me from telling him too much, believing I could trust him after the ball.
Relief and a certain jubilant smugness speared through the connection. Devyn must be safe.
I smiled a blazing smile up at my intended.
“Let’s do this.”
The handfast ceremony was mercifully short. I had attended a few over the years, mostly children of the extended family of my parents – such as the cousin whose antics had so inspired my behaviour with Devyn last night. At least we had that.
They knew about Devyn. It was going to be nigh on impossible to get out of the city now. I could only assume that as Devyn had acted on my alert, he knew we were betrayed. And Marcus was the prime suspect.
I had to tie myself to him for now. Surely Devyn would figure a way through this. I breathed deeply again, attempting to steady my nerves.
I didn’t care about this ceremony anymore. It meant nothing. Marcus had sold us out. I wondered just how much information he had given the authorities.
He took my arm as we began our walk to the circle under the beautiful Art Deco dome that I had admired on previous visits. In the summer it was radiant, the sun lighting up the roses that twined through the design. Real roses now decked the folly in the centre of the room where the civil celebrant waited to perform the binding. My step faltered. I wanted to run. Find Devyn and run. How could he have sent me to do this?
A pulse came through the connection, warmth and support. Faith that I could survive this. That I could survive anything.
I lifted my chin.
Looked my parents in the eye as I took my place beside them.
Looked Senator Dolon in the eye as Marcus stood in front of him facing me.
I could do this.
I repeated the vows as they were dictated. Reaching for Devyn, I directed my words to him. I lifted my hand and placed it in Marcus’s when told to do so. The positioning of our hands, wrist to wrist, was the increasingly familiar Briton style. Fidelma had also done that when she’d wanted to connect magically.
I felt a shimmer through my body as the metal cuff was attached to my upper arm.
Something felt wrong.
Why could I sense Devyn?
I watched as they placed a similar but slightly larger band around Marcus’s bicep. He was shaped more like a soldier than a doctor. I was so proud that he was a medical professional. He put his patients before everything else and I admired that about him.
I could feel confusion seeping from my connection to Devyn. How inconvenient that it was Devyn and not Marcus I was connected to. Not that it mattered really.
As the ceremony drew to a close, Marcus was invited to kiss me. He smiled into my eyes and leaned in.
A warm sensation shivered through me.
A dark emotion nudged my bliss… How bothersome.
Then it was gone.
Part Three
So Silence Builds Her Wall
Could there have been a wind
That haled them by the hair,
And blinding
Blue-forked
Flowers of the lightning
In their leaves?
* * *
Tap… Tap…
Slow-ticking centuries…
Soft as bare feet upon the snow…
Faint… lulling as heard rain
upon heaped leaves…
So silence builds her wall
about a dream impaled.
— After Storm, Lola Ridge
Chapter Twenty-Two
I loved my life. It felt amazing to let all the madness of the last few months slide away. Being properly back in reality was like slipping on a luxuriously comfy robe, much like the one I had spotted while lunching in Knightsbridge last week. I hadn’t even been looking but how was a girl to ignore an iridescent aqua silk robe? It was the perfect match for my eyes.
I was trying to be better about my spending though. I had burned quite a hole through my credit tab in the run-up to the handfast which I felt bad about now, so I was laying off the shopping for a while, which my father was greatly relieved about. He had an impending dowry tightening his purse strings, I supposed. It was only fair I acted a little bit more responsibly. I did love that robe though; maybe I could drop a gentle hint my mother’s way. After all, even if a girl wasn’t expected to have an entirely new wardrobe when she entered married life, she couldn’t begin such an auspicious phase of life still dressed as a student.
Especially if the groom was the city’s most talented physician. Marcus’s star was definitely on the rise. Word had somehow leaked to the press about his singular success, which I mustn’t feel too happy about, especially as I might be ever so slightly responsible. Who could blame me for telling a few close friends about how brilliant he was? Isn’t the point of being handfasted to get to a better understanding of how amazing your partner is before the big day?
Marcus had grumbled a bit when I confessed my little indiscretion, but not too much – after all, I was utterly adorable. He couldn’t possibly stay mad at me. He didn’t like when I mentioned Devyn either… not that I did really, but sometimes I wondered why I’d been willing to turn my life upside down for such a nobody. Marcus got this sweet little frown line between his meltingly gorgeous eyes, which was half the reason I did it.
I was starting to get excited about the wedding too now. It was so close, only a week to go. It was such a shame I hadn’t shown more interest earlier as a lot of the big decisions had already been made, though I had no one but myself to blame for not being more involved from the outset. Thankfully, I liked what my mother had organised well enough, but if I had paid more attention instead of moping after Devyn, it would probably have felt a bit more like me.
My mother had suggested pre-wedding revels, which meant my actual friends would have the chance to put together a party that felt more Cassandra. My mother was being an absolute angel; she really had thought of everything. Over the last weeks, we had grown so much closer. We had finally developed the bond that had always been missing and there was a part of me that was sorry we wouldn’t have more time together. A very tiny part. After all, staying at home would mean that Marcus and I weren’t living together. Shudder.
As it was, I just felt underfoot at home with all the wedding stuff, which fortunately meant I could escape to the hospital. Yet another one of the benefits of being handfasted was that couples were permitted to spend time in each other’s company, to get to know each other more fully. I didn’t have a job, which meant I could spend all the time I wanted at Marcus’s.
The hospital was crazy these days so they were actually grateful for the extra set of hands. Marcus was doing such important work and it was such a privilege to help him. It was hard to believe he had had to bargain to be allowed to treat people. What had they been thinking? The hospital would be lost without him.
As would I. Spending our days and evenings together had shown me just how right we were for each other. I could practically predict what he would need before he asked for it; truth be told, I put his nurses in the shade. One of the few dark spots of this time was the paps continued to show far more interest in us than was entirely decent. The hospital had to tighten security around us while we were working, which was a terrible waste of resources. There had been an incident a week earlier and the hospital board had seriously debated whether I would be allowed to continue working there, which was unheard of. No one kept handfasted partners from each other. It was the thought of not being able to work that had made me most nervous. The fatigue I had felt in the summer had returned but it made me feel usef
ul and I was easier in my skin when I kept busy.
I tidied a locker here, wiped a brow there, updated the numbers on a chart, my route always taking me closer to where Marcus was dealing with a patient. Tucking in a sheet in an adjacent bed, I watched as he treated his patient. The nurse was making notes, but while she was busy Marcus had taken hold of the patient’s hand while using his other to pull the man’s blanket up to his chest. It was a manoeuvre that he employed to hide the positioning required to most effectively use his magic. I skirted the bed and, coming up behind Marcus, laid my hand on his shoulder. I really didn’t approve of him using means other than the medical ones the city provided – it was against the Code after all. But if he absolutely had to then it didn’t hurt to support him in this way, letting him syphon off a little of my energy. I didn’t need it, after all.
“Cassandra, would you mind taking this bouquet up to the fourth floor? It landed here by mistake, and with changeover, it’ll be ages before anyone here is able to run up. Would you mind terribly?” a harried-looking Miri asked me as she tucked stray locks behind her ear. Matron did not love messy hair, and Miri’s hair was terribly flighty, though she was terrific with the patients.
I smiled, taking the vase from her. “Shame to have such a beautiful bouquet not find its rightful owner.”
The bouquet was charming – unusual though in that it was the opposite of the sublime cultivated blooms I had been looking at for the wedding. This was made up of autumn berries, rowan, spindle, wild rose and hawthorn, set in ferns and autumn leaves, including fiery acer and golden oak. I never went to the fourth floor, so it took me a couple of turns around the corridors to find the room on the note. Entering the room and pulling the curtain back to deliver the flowers, I expected an aged grand dame but I was somewhat wide of the mark.
Very wide of the mark.
“What are you doing here?”
I hadn’t seen Devyn since the regrettable night before the handfast. I did my best to put it as far out of my mind as I could, but occasionally a sliver of an image would flash before me. Midnight eyes smiling… the slide of skin on skin. Even the damned sound of running water would bring to mind that stupid fountain in his garden.
Devyn frowned.
“You’re a hard lady to get time with.” He smiled crookedly.
“I’ve been busy,” I answered tersely. “I’m getting married.”
“What?” He tilted his head as though trying to comprehend what I’d just said.
He hardly needed an interpreter.
“I’m getting married,” I repeated slowly.
He took a step back, his face going blank. It was usually his default setting, which was the moment I registered how pleased he had looked when I came into the room.
“Devyn, I’m so sorry if you thought I would be waiting for you to whisk me away. In fact, I’m truly sorry if you feel I led you on in any way, but I’m marrying Marcus,” I explained as nicely as I could. It wasn’t like I’d had time to finesse a speech – I’d assumed he had fled the city. He should have.
“Led me on…?” he echoed.
I smiled stiffly.
“Maybe I chose my words poorly. I totally accept that I was a participant in what happened between us,” I said.
“A participant…” He repeated my choice of words.
He should be worrying less about my inability to find the perfect wording and more about what would happen when the sentinels got their hands on him.
“Devyn.” I tried to get him to focus. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the authorities are looking for you. I really don’t want to be involved any further, but you should know that security here is very tight.”
“Not involved?” He gritted his teeth.
This was getting ridiculous, and I had things to do.
“Look, it was really nice seeing you, and I’m glad we got a chance to clear up any unfinished business, but I really must be getting back to the ward.” I started to back away, which seemed to wake Devyn up from his strange dazed state.
“Cass, what… ? It’s taken me weeks to get to you. And now I’m getting the nice-to-have-known-you treatment?” He did not look happy.
“Like I said, I’m really sorry. Experimentation happens. What we did… was a mistake. I would have thought you’d be happy I’m with Marcus now.” There was a chance this wasn’t just about what had happened between us. Maybe his concern was that he was still trying to get Marcus and me across the wall. “Our lives will be here in the city.”
“You can’t be serious.” Devyn looked like he’d just heard that cats had landed on the moon and started making cheese there. As though the words he was being presented with all went fine together but utterly and completely lacked any sense.
“Marcus and I are happy together,” I explained, as simply as I could.
“Happy?” Devyn spat the word back at me. “Happy to be manipulated into marrying someone you’re not attracted to, to bear children they will take off you?”
I laughed at his dramatics.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I am marrying Marcus Courtenay. No one will take our children from us. The city wouldn’t stand for it. They love him.” I lifted my chin as he came closer. “And so do I.”
“Really?” He was like a cat prowling closer to its prey. “You love him. Have you been with him?”
I frowned. How uncouth.
“Of course not.” It wasn’t unheard of for couples to slip up before the big day, but Marcus and I didn’t have that kind of relationship. His kisses were nice, but… My eyes snagged on Devyn’s lips. I shook my head.
“Goodbye, Devyn.” I whirled away, heading for the door, but hadn’t even made it a step when he grabbed my arm. Pushing me up against the door, he reached behind me to turn the lock. It felt like a fog was lifting in my head.
“I don’t think so, darling.” He smiled down at me, his body surrounding mine. “We aren’t ready to bid farewells yet.”
“Devyn.” I blinked up at him.
His eyes dropped to my lips, his hand coming around my head and trapping me, ensuring I couldn’t evade his kiss. Why would I want to?
His kiss felt like heaven, his lips moving warmly against mine, his tongue flickering, waiting to be invited in. He was always welcome here. I wound my fingers through his familiar tousled curls. I breathed him in. I had missed this.
“Cass?”
I smiled brilliantly up at him. “Hi. Where’ve you been?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Devyn exhaled in relief, his forehead leaning against mine. “Cass.”
I leaned up for another kiss and my beautiful boy obliged.
I opened the connection between us. I’d never experienced what he felt when we were kissing. The pulse between us felt muggy, cloudy, but I could sense his relief, some residual anger, and a lot of quickening passion.
I understood the latter, but his anger, and relief were… that I wasn’t running away from him. Why would I be running away from him? He was the one who did all the running. What in Hades was going on?
I pulled away to take a breath. Think. Why was I in the hospital?
“Devyn?”
“Mmm.” He sounded like a grumbling teenager resisting his wake-up call, but in a minute he was going to remember that he—
Pushed me away.
And there it was.
He stepped back and took a breath before he turned and paced away to the windows, putting some distance between us. I felt the fog in my mind gather once more. My eyes widened in distress and I whirled round, desperately attempting to open the lock. He quickly crossed the room until he stood behind me, his hand touching my waist.
“Cass, what is it?”
My hand stilled on the lock and I turned back to him, evaluating the last few moments. “Don’t go anywhere. I think you being near me is the difference.”
“The difference?” he asked.
“Will you stop that?” I sniped, my memories of the last time we met re
turning. “When did you lose the ability to choose your own words? You’ve been acting like a damned parrot from the minute I walked into this room.”
“Well, you’ve been a little off yourself,” he said. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to work through the time since I had walked out of his apartment. “It’s like I’m there but I’m not.”
His concerned dark eyes watched me, urging me to explain. Now I was the one struggling to find the words.
“Since the handfast, I’ve been happy… with things. That is, it’s like I’m the old me. I remember everything that happened but I don’t care. That stuff, you, it’s not important.” I couldn’t find any other way to put it. “All that’s important is Marcus.”
I shrugged.
“Looks like I’m finally on board with everyone’s wishes.”
He ignored the hit.
“And you don’t feel that way now? Whatever they did has worn off?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. I think you being close just makes everything clear again. I’m truly me again.”
We stared at each other. There was so much that had been left unsaid when we were last together but there was no time for that now. Our first priority was getting out of the city; everything else would just have to wait.
Things were complicated enough but whatever had been done to me during the handfast ceremony made any attempt to escape almost impossible. The most wanted person in the city would have to get close enough to practically touch me, and I was now the most secured person in the city. Well, maybe second only to Marcus. Even Governor Actaeon and Praetor Calchas didn’t have the kind of security we did. I realised now that the increased and obvious security around me was less about the paps and all about Devyn.
“They know everything,” I told him, recalling Marcus’s revelations before the ceremony.
“How do you know?”
Secrets of the Starcrossed Page 30