by Dora Hiers
“That’s what makes you so good at your job.”
“You mean that’s what made me so good at my job. Past tense.”
“Have you heard anything more from Daniel?” Snow-white puffs blew from Camdon’s lips. His words came out terse, his barely restrained anger slicing through the silent night.
No one else ventured outside, the frigid temperature chasing away even the bravest souls. What did that make the two of them? Crazy?
“No. But I don’t see any way around it.” She sighed, regret that her time with the city would end on such a sour note swamping her. She adored her senior friends, and she couldn’t ask for more friendly coworkers.
“We’ll figure out something, Sierra. Please. Don’t worry.” When had Camdon’s arm slipped around her shoulders? Suddenly her cheek was pressing against his downy soft sweater. Again.
His embrace made her feel protected. As if she could face whatever the future threw at her if he stood by her, hugging her next to his heart, shielding her from life’s hurts.
Yeah, right. Like any man would do that. Men only inflicted pain. They certainly didn’t protect her from it.
“You say that now, Camdon, but you’ll forget all about me when I’m not working for the city anymore.” When she didn’t see him every day. When his visits to their house dwindled until her face and Violet’s math problems became a blur in his memory. She allowed herself a moment to wallow in self-pity then edged out of his embrace.
Where would she look for a job? She hadn’t heard of any companies hiring, but she best start putting out feelers and scouring the Internet.
“Like that would ever happen.”
“What? Me not work for the city anymore?” She scoffed. “I’m not naïve, Camdon. When my boss calls me and tells me I should start looking for a job—”
“No. I meant forgetting about you or Violet. That will never happen.” His sigh, something heavy and heartfelt, escaped into the night.
She would miss him something fierce. Her eyes filled, and she angled away, blinking back a tear.
“Hey.” He nudged her chin around to face him. “You can trust me, sweetheart. I will never hurt you, and I will do everything I can to find a way for you to keep your job.”
“Never say never.” Even she could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Isn’t that what you always say?”
Firelight flickered, sending shadows to dance along the hard angles of his jaw. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His back stiffened. A back that carried the burden of his family’s forever pain and the needs of an entire city for years.
His arm snaked around her shoulders again, and his finger still controlled her chin. Honey colored specks sparkled from forest green eyes, serious, undeniable. She was powerless to look away, and judging by the slight upturn of his lips, he knew it.
“Trust me?” His voice came out barely above a whisper. Or maybe it just sounded that way because the night was so dark, the loneliness so long, the desire so great.
It took everything in her, every reserve of belief and hope she could scrounge up from within, but finally, she nodded.
“I won’t let you down.” His fingers fanned out to her cheek, his giant palm cupping half her face, his gentle touch sending quivers of delight to skip up and down her arms. A tremor rocked her torso.
“Cold?” Cinnamon flavored breath puffed so close to her lips she could almost taste the candy herself.
Um, no. Definitely. Not. Cold.
She shook her head, only a slight bob. Because if she moved anymore than that, his hand might drop away from her skin and drag his warmth with him. Her heart practically thumped out of her chest.
What was wrong with her? Why was her heart betraying her?
“Sierra—” His voice came out hoarse and ragged, so unlike his typical confident tone. His face, his eyes, revealed a vulnerable little boy, the one he might’ve been before the world took his dad away too soon, before he was forced to become the head of his family prematurely.
Instinctively, her hand covered his fingers. Maybe he needed someone to protect him, too.
“Sierra, I want to talk about—”
He wanted to talk? She gulped, embarrassment heating her neck. Talking wasn’t what rolled through her mind right now. Her voice came out like a squeak. “You want to talk? Right now?”
She could track the lump that crawled down his throat, the sagging of his jaw, the surprise that spiked his eyebrows.
Perhaps he did need a little protection. From her.
“Kiss me already.” She pulled him closer and shut her eyes, waited for the sweet taste of his kiss and wondered if her heart would ever beat like normal again.
If her life would ever be normal again.
****
She didn’t need to tell him twice.
Talking was overrated. He slid an arm around her back and shifted her closer. Any closer and they’d be sharing the same space on the bench. With eyes closed, he lowered his head until their lips connected. She tasted of cookies and chocolate. Gentle and undemanding, giving not taking, he teased her lips until they responded with an urgency that thrilled, and at the same time, frightened him.
If they stayed cocooned like this much longer, he’d be dragging her to his room. And she wasn’t helping. Her arms still locked around his neck, she nibbled on his ear.
“Sierra—” With ragged breaths, he dragged her arms down to cradle her hands in his own, to keep them from wreaking havoc on his disintegrating self-control.
Her lashes fluttered up. The look she flashed, a combination of surprise and fear, ripped his hope to shreds. She jerked her hands from his and scooted farther down the bench, leaving his side aching with loneliness and his heart frozen. “Yes?”
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
Her nervous gaze found his again, but only for a second, before skittering back to the flames blazing from the pit. At least she hadn’t bolted off the bench or scampered away to the safety of her room. That was something, right?
“You’ve never mentioned it.” Her fingertips trailed her bottom lip, now bright red and puffy. Was she trying to decide if the kiss was real or not? Or had she enjoyed it so much she hadn’t wanted it to end? She’d moved too far down the bench for him to find out.
“I was reluctant to ruin our friendship. Afraid to take it to the next level in case you didn’t feel the same way. But, I don’t think that’s the case, is it?”
“What have I done?” She muttered under her breath, dipping her chin to her chest, her long, espresso-colored curtain of hair hiding her expression from him. With a suddenness that surprised him, she bolted off the bench and stalked to the fire pit, folded arms over her chest, standing with her back facing him.
He wasn’t letting her escape that easily. He’d waited too long to make his feelings known. He had to see it through, no matter where it took them. He walked over behind her and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze, hoping to give her time to process her confused thoughts, her more-than-enthusiastic reaction.
“Do you think you could ever relax your “no dating” policy long enough to give us a chance?”
“A chance for what?” Her voice came out hard, unbending.
He sighed. So that’s the way it was going to be. “A chance to see where this leads.”
“I know where this leads, Camdon. Have you forgotten about my daughter, Violet?”
Seriously? Did she really think that was all he wanted? A quick, no-strings-attached romp between the sheets? Disappointed and more than a little miffed at her reaction, he shook his head and nudged her around to face him. “That’s not what I’m talking about, sweetheart. What I envisioned was discovering each other in a new realm. Building on a decade of friendship, moving from friends to something infinitely more valuable, something that will last forever.”
“Forever?” She scoffed. A hardness firmed those soft lips he’d just enjoyed kissing.
How had they gotten here?
She turned her head, swiping a palm against her cheek. Then her arms wrapped around her middle, as if protecting herself, or a baby, from him.
How could he have forgotten already? How she’d been beaten by the very man who’d fathered her child, and then driven out of her home by another man. A man who’d committed to loving her forever as well.
He was an idiot. He wanted to go bang his head against the concrete. Regret kicked him in the gut. He could dwell on the pain and heartache she’d suffered at such a young, tender age, but doing so wouldn’t help. Sierra didn’t know what a forever love looked like, not from her parents and definitely not from a man. He sure hadn’t handled this conversation very well.
But how could he? Not after she’d wound her arms around his neck and carried him away to a place he’d never visited with any other woman, allowing him a glimpse of the passion she’d locked up inside for so long.
His primal urges were still in overdrive. He needed to regroup. Camdon rammed a hand through his hair and turned around, pacing a few steps away from the warmth of the fire pit, the frigid air chilling the ardor that blazed through his limbs and didn’t allow him to think a single coherent thought.
Lord, You modeled forever love to us with Your Son. Help Sierra to have that relationship with You, first. Selfishly, I pray for us, too. He gave himself a minute, allowing his frazzled nerves and ragged emotions to calm with the prayer before angling back around.
Sierra stood there, alone and defenseless, fear and hope holding her features hostage. Her shoulders hunched, her arms still hugging her waist. He knew the exact moment she noticed him watching her. She dropped her arms and braced her shoulders, and the weak smile that couldn’t mask the pain transformed into something wide and totally fake.
He had to make her see that it wasn’t just her against the world. In a few quick strides, he laced his fingers through hers, his gaze never wavering from the raw vulnerability on her face. “Sierra, you know me. You know I’m not like the guy who fathered—”
“No!”
His head jerked back as if she’d slapped him. “No?”
She shook her head, a vicious rattle back and forth, determination stiffening her spine and puffing up her shoulders, the smile still firmly planted on her lips. She plucked her hands back.
“Please leave.” Her voice came out solid, but her smile faded on quivering lips.
Stunned by the vehemence in those two words, his lungs refused to cooperate. He couldn’t take in enough air to function, didn’t have any left to expel. Surely she didn’t mean it?
God, this whole thing with Sierra. I thought this was from you. Was I wrong?
He finally managed to drag in precious oxygen. He shook his head, his heart aching with her rejection, his legs as heavy as stumps from a thousand-year-old oak tree. “I won’t leave you, Sierra. I refuse to be that man.”
Her jaw hinged. The tears finally spilled over onto creamy cheeks. She turned and fled, her boots trampling over ivy, her arms pumping hard as she stumbled toward the safety of the resort, the privacy of her room.
But she wouldn’t be safe from her thoughts in there, either. How could he help her to see that?
And what could he say that he hadn’t already said?
15
He wouldn’t show up. Not after her tirade last night.
Sierra stood outside the bus, her teeth chattering as she counted passengers and offered a helping hand up the steps.
Camdon hadn’t come down for breakfast. He’d probably rented a car after her high-and-mighty attitude last night and left for home without a backward glance.
Could she blame him? Especially after she’d led him on by kissing him back like that. She rubbed a hand across her face, trying to erase the shame and embarrassment. What would he think of her now?
Camdon had been her best friend. Now what? He wanted more than friendship, had mentioned a forever love. Couldn’t he see that no such love existed? That love and marriage didn't necessarily equate to forever love?
Not likely. Not with his sister and brother both newly married. They’d planted those ideas of love and happiness, visions of happily-ever-after in his head. But that’s all they were. Ideas and short-sighted visions that didn’t line up with real life. And now he’d just hurled their decade-long friendship under that bus.
Well, she wasn’t about to chuck Violet into the turmoil of stepfathers and stepsiblings, of wondering how she fit in anymore, battling that soul-deep feeling that she wasn't wanted anymore, that she wasn’t important or vital to the family. Thank God Violet’s father wasn’t in the picture. Because then Violet would have to deal with being handed off from one parent to the next, never knowing where she would be sleeping that night, or deciding which household was her favorite, and longing for a normal family with a dad and mom that lived in the same house.
No. She didn’t want her precious daughter to relive her own childhood. Please, God?
Wait a minute!
God, what just happened here? I believed what Camdon said about You. I prayed, and then…then Camdon kissed me! What am I supposed to do about that? Weren’t You listening?
“Ready to head home?” Camdon’s deep morning rumble from over her shoulder startled her.
“Y-you’re still here?” Her heart stuttered along with her tongue, surprised, and more than a little happy that he hadn’t abandoned her.
“Of course.” Camdon’s serious gaze never wavered from hers. “If it takes the rest of my life, I will prove to you that I’m not like other men, sweetheart. I’m in this for the long haul.” Dark eyebrows lifted, daring her to believe differently.
A sigh lifted her chest.
His dimple came out of its hiding spot. As if he knew something she didn’t and waited patiently for her to grasp.
Did he? Know something she didn’t? She gave her head a little shake. Camdon knew lots that she didn’t. Like whether she still had a job when she arrived home. She ignored the hand he held out to help her up the steps and his chuckle.
“You can run but you can’t hide, Sierra. I’m sure our friends saved the last seat for us.”
She huffed and turned back around to face him. Wedged in the narrow stairwell, she braced her palms against his chest. “They may have saved us a seat together, but there will be no more kissing.”
“You sure? Because from where I’m standing, you’re in the perfect position to steal one.” Nose to nose, his peppermint flavored breath tickling her cheeks, his chest thumping a thunderous rhythm to match her own underneath her palms.
No. She wasn’t sure.
Yes. He could definitely steal one, and she wouldn’t refuse.
Her phone vibrated in her jeans pocket. That would be Violet, calling to see if she was on her way home. She blinked.
Violet. Home. That was real life. Not this…whatever was going on between her and Camdon. She jerked her hands back as if scalded by fire. Licking her lips, she pivoted and scanned the bus for an empty seat.
Camdon was right.
She dug out her phone, slid into the last seat, and connected the call. Violet she could deal with. Camdon, and his new persona, she could not.
****
Camdon squeezed in next to Sierra, hiding his smile at her huffs when they bumped elbows and hips. He’d let her have her way for a while and give her time to process. Eventually, she’d come to realize how much she loved him.
He’d waited ten years. What was a few more days? He could even handle a few months. Especially after last night’s dream, a vision of their future.
A pregnant Sierra beaming for the camera in her college graduation cap and gown, her arm around Violet, dressed in a similar gown but a different color. Each held up a piece of paper that meant a lot to them.
A vision, God?
Contentment blossomed in his belly and he settled in for the long ride home, pulling down the tray table and opening his laptop. If he hoped to give Sierra time and space, the least he could do was get some work done
in the meantime.
He glanced sideways at her as he waited for the computer to boot. With her phone pressed to her ear, she’d positioned herself away from him, her head facing the window. He turned his attention back to the screen and forwarded a handful of emails, delegating his staff to handle responses.
Then he landed on one from Daniel, Sierra’s boss, with the subject header “Sierra Danby.” He sucked in a breath and angled the screen to shield it from Sierra’s view. He scanned the email, which confirmed Sierra’s fear that her job was on the chopping block.
Scraping fingers across his stubbled jaw, he stole another glance her way. She was still talking on the phone with Violet. He tapped out a response. Do not make any decisions or initiate action until we speak about this.
He slammed the lid down on the laptop and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long ride home and an even longer few days. Because he wouldn’t rest until he found a way to save Sierra’s job.
****
“I appreciate you keeping Violet last night and today.” Sierra accepted the steaming mug of herbal tea Remi held out, sniffing delicate hints of cherry and ginger as she took a sip.
Violet had slipped outside, headed to the barn to say good-bye to her new friends.
“No problem. I was glad she was here especially since Mason wasn’t home. She was fabulous company, her and her little retro phrases.” Remi smiled and sank into another seat around the quaint oak table.
“He’s racing this weekend?”
“Yeah. Just for a couple more weeks, though.” Remi slid a long lock of dark hair behind an ear and grinned conspiratorially. “Then, he’ll have a few months off. As long as the honey-do list is for the sanctuary, he’ll probably wish he was racing again.”
They both laughed.
Sierra really liked Remi. Although when she first met Remi, she’d thought her somewhat standoffish, but Camdon had explained that his sister suffered from a social anxiety disorder because of their dad’s suicide. That knowledge had helped Sierra understand Remi better, and since then, they’d become great friends.