Bitter Kisses (It's Just High School Book 3)

by Thandiwe Mpofu

  My hair blows with the chilly breeze that has picked up from nowhere as I stand rooted in the doorway of my old house staring at Courtney.

  My entire body feels so damn heavy, like it’s no longer flesh and bone, just an unimpressive block of cement instead.

  It’s like… all the life has been sucked out of me as I stand there, unseeing, unfeeling, unresponsive toward the cold, yet intensely smug stare, holding my gaze.

  What the hell is this? This can’t be right, can it?

  “Are you coming in, dear?” she says in that cultured, yet amused high-pitched voice that jerks me back to reality and I realize no, this isn’t a nightmare, this is as real as the furious pounding of my heart, awakening dread and anger.

  I stare at Julian’s mother for a long moment, not breathing at all.

  I notice the smug smile on her beautiful face, like my presence on her doorstep means she’s wone the war or something.

  I can smell the subtle hint of her suffocating perfume that seems now to clog my airways. I see the eighteen-carat white gold, emerald diamond necklace on her delicate neckline that matches her eyes—her son’s eyes—makes my chest constrict as my mind races with the impossibility of the reality in front of me.

  It’s Courtney yes, but right behind her is my father.

  Translation, Courtney is working with Nathan.

  Julian’s mother is working with my father to bring a family down, starting with Julian and me. I want to scream.

  “What are you doing here?” I croak, staring at Courtney, refusing to glance at my father.

  My father, who not only threatened Julian’s life, but has managed to make every nightmare that has plagued my mind since his sudden phone call in Paris, come true.

  “We’ve been waiting for you, Mia,” Courtney says. “I like your tan. Europe must’ve been so good to you. It’s a shame you had to come back under these circumstances.”

  These circumstances? Is this bitch high on something? Her son is probably getting arrested right now and she’s just going to treat this casually like this won’t hurt Julian in the worst ways.

  “You mean the circumstances you clearly created?” I seethe and she has the audacity to throw he head back and laugh like a proper Desperate Housewife extra.

  “Oh no honey, I merely directed the course, everything else was all your doing,” Courtney says. “The decisions you made have led us all here.”

  It’s then that I look at Nathan, thinking of his call while I was in Paris, the very one that I kept to myself and unknowingly dug a deep fucking ditch between Julian and me. Now I have to lie in it because the man who calls himself my father was going for the jugular when he called and said somewhat the exact words that Courtney just said.

  “Your decisions have led us here, sweetheart,” my father says. “Why don’t you come in.”

  I don’t move an inch.

  I stand motionless in the doorway, feeling like I’m seconds from dying in the doorway of the house he ‘raised’ me in, it’s clear that he wasn’t working alone to bring me down.

  Courtney, Julian’s mother though! How could she?

  “You disgust me,” I say to Courtney. She holds my gaze unflinchingly, seemingly not at all bothered by what’s happening right now to her son.

  I mean why should she be bothered when right behind her, standing in the middle of the barely furnished foyer, is the most cunning, ruthless man I’ve ever known in my life and he just so happens to be the man I’ve called dad all my life.

  “Well, don’t look at me like that. Surely you—with all your supposed intelligence and perception—you must have known that this would happen.”

  How fucked up is this?

  Nathan is watching me with turbulent eyes filled with dark amusement, obviously waiting for what I do next.

  A cold shiver races down my spine. Unease and dread trickle down my spine the linger I look into his eyes and I swear, I can almost see the darkness brimming in those depths.

  Unconscious of the danger hovering close, moved only by the sense of dread, I take an involuntary step back.

  He smiles. An actual smile that makes the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand up. A strange sensation takes root in my gut. It’s more than dread or just fear, it’s something bigger that chills me to the core and for a moment, my flight-fight reaction kicks in.

  Who is this man?

  “It’s either you’re coming in or you’re going to run, Amy,” Nathan says, his voice as smooth as a psychotic mastermind, still watching me like one would an unworthy chess opponent. “Either way, Princess, the power is in your hands.”

  The power is in your hands.

  A chilly shudder moves through me as the meaning of his words sinks in and he notices, making him smirk. He knows the havoc he’s wreaking on my mind, just as he knows I know what he means by those words.

  The power to make Julian’s future go down the drain is in my hands.

  The power to end this game or to destroy more lives—the lives of those I love—is in my hands.

  But more than that, the power of this very moment and how it will change lives, from this moment on, is in my hands. Either way, my actions right now, in this moment and time, will determine what happens next to everyone I love.

  Julian.

  Liam.

  Nicky.

  And suddenly, out of nowhere, anger floods my system.

  “Don’t…” I whisper, my voice hoarse, almost inaudible as I stare at Nathan. “Don’t call me that.”

  I hate that my voice is a broken stutter.

  I hate that I can’t seem to be able to string along a sentence that makes sense.

  I hate that my father is in a room with the woman who has repeatedly tried to hurt me.

  But most of all, I hate that he has this much power over me—not just to make me this nervous and dare I say, scared—but to strip me of everything I hold dear.

  “But you are my little princess, Amy,” he says, spreading his arms wide as if he expects me to run into them. I don’t remember the last time I hugged this man. It must’ve been way before Nancy ever got sick.

  “That’s not my name either.”

  “Oh yes,” he chuckles then. “You made that abundantly clear! You’ve always been clear and direct on what you want in life.”

  “Hmm, she doesn’t seem to be that secure right now though, Nathan,” Courtney says.

  “Oh, don’t be so pushy Courtney, it’s not like your spawn will even spend the night in that filthy jail, he’ll be out on an insane amount of bail soon.”

  Omg yes, Julian! He’s the whole reason why I came here, ran over here in fact. U didn’t come to socialize.

  “I came here because of Julian,” I say, forcing my voice to be level, betraying the havoc and fear in me. “I didn’t come here for whatever mind games you two are playing.”

  “Oh Mia, you really are a bit slow,” Courtney says. “We knew you’d come because the boy you think loves you is in trouble and you know it’s because of the decision you made so now, it’s on you to make things right.”

  My heart is pounding so hard bit here I am. In for a penny, in for a pound.

  “Yes,” I whisper. “What do I do?”

  “Yes, you see, Courtney?” my father laughs. “I told you she’ll make the right decision.”

  It doesn’t escape my notice that they’ve been working together for a while. But still, I didn’t see this coming.

  I knew Courtney Mason-Fitzgerald was a bitch, but I never thought her scheming and ruthlessness could get so out of hand, so callous, that she’d do… this. To her own son, no less. My God.

  “You’re working with him!” I accuse, my voice shrill but still a bit broken, like I can hardly say the words without fear of making them even truer than the reality of them.

  “Well,” she starts, her voice a perfectly soft cadence, betraying nothing. “I did a cost-benefit analysis and I realized that chances of me getting what I want would be higher if
I combined my efforts with your father.”

  I feel sick to my stomach, hearing the smug admission falling from her lips with a careless shrug of her delicate shoulder, like there’s nothing wrong with the shit she’s spewing.

  “You don’t even have the decency to look remorseful,” I murmur, staring at her, my eyes stinging with tears and I can’t help but choke out, “He’s your son.”

  Her face falls as soon as I say that, then she looks away, unable to hold my gaze.

  I want to think that it’s because she’s feeling remorseful, regretting her actions. I want to think that she’s feeling bad about the way she hurt her son beyond anything else and that maybe she’ll stop this and do what’s right, but I know better now.

  There isn’t a bone in this woman’s body that would regret hurting her own children.

  Abusers tend to do that…

  “Are you coming in or not?” she finally snaps, her emerald eyes darker, the self-righteous smile that greeted me now gone as if it was never there. “It seems like you were not taught the right etiquette.”

  “Give her a moment to adjust to your treachery, Courtney,” my father says, his dark gaze still watching me. “It’s not every day that a mother turns her son’s life upside down, you know.”

  “Turn his life upside down?” Courtney snaps, turning to face Nathan. “I’m trying to right the wrongs that have since been inflicted in my children’s lives since the day she stepped into their lives.”

  The scathing tone she uses when she refers to me doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the fact that my father seems to agree with her.

  “Yes, well, I’m also here to right the wrongs inflicted on my daughter’s life, so in this sense, we’re in agreement.” They seemed to be in more agreement than just that. “But, princess, Courtney is right, please come in. This is your home after all.”

  I stand there, holding his gaze feeling this desperate, inexplicable need to turn and run. It’s so intense that for a split second, I almost give in, but I know it’s too late for that.

  There’s no going back now. I might have run here for one thing—negotiating with Courtney—but instead, I’m faced with the devil who’s been in the shadows my entire life, influencing me, pulling strings in my life since the day Nicky said he hurt me. I still don’t know much about when I was four, but for now, this isn’t about me.

  “Are you ready to make a decision, Princess?” he prompts.

  I don’t look away from him, trying to tuck in my fear like stuffing a messy, disorganized and overcrowded closet.

  But one thing is clear. He’s right. I do know what I’m going to do.

  I have to dance with the devil until I find a way out.

  With fear dripping down my veins like acid, I swallow hard, trying to conjure up as much courage and fake bravery as I can and step through the doorway, my heart pounding like the base to a Goo Goo Dolls song.

  “Finally!” Courtney mocks, then proceeds to hustle me and shuts the door with a flourish. “Now, let’s get this over with so I never ever have to see your face again.”

  I try my best not to let my fear show as I look around the barren house. I’m pretty good at faking confidence. I’ve been doing it all my life. Hell, I faked indifference, but standing here now, I don’t know if I can fake courage. But for Julian and the shattered look he gave me, then I’ll fake it ‘til I come out of this with what I came for.

  “One thing at a time, Court,” my father purrs, a proud smile on his face. “My little princess will not disappoint.”

  I don’t miss the nickname calling or the knowing looks they give each other. How long has this camaraderie been going on?

  “Well, she does have some semblance of sense, I’ll give her that” Courtney says. “Just not enough to have heeded my warnings before.”

  That pisses me off.

  “Funny, I was just thinking the same of you, Court,” I mutter, making a mockery out of her nickname as anger filters through me. “But I guess on top of being an abuser, you’re a liar as well as a conniving bitch, gambling with your own children’s lives. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, seeing as you’ve chosen your team, siding with the devil.”

  Courtney shoots me a look and I know I struck a nerve. I see her palm twitching like she wants to strike me, so I stand up taller, ready for whatever she wants to do.

  I’ve been through hell and now, I’m standing in the very depth of it, and honestly, standing next to my father, she seems to be the lesser of two evils at this point.

  Through this, I hardly look at my father, choosing instead to keep my rage centered on Courtney for now until I compose myself and get over the disappointment laced with agony that’s ravaging my soul as I stand here.

  Nathan unnerves me for some reason.

  There’s a hard edge to him now that I failed to notice before or maybe I just told myself that, but now, something… unhinged, is peaking from the shadows and there’s something familiar about his darkness.

  “Let’s get one thing clear, after this, I never want to see you anywhere near my sons ever again,” Courtney says, her voice low and serious, the impassive expression she was wearing morphing into a livid expression I once saw the first time we met when Liam was in the hospital. “I’ve always known that you were an enemy of the future! You’re a disaster so if I have to… distinguish that fire in you to avoid that, then I’d side with the devil, if I must.”

  “Come now, Court,” my father starts, shifting his weight from his left to right foot. “I’m hardly the devil in all this.”

  He might as well be.

  “You’re right,” Courtney says, folding her arms. “You’re just a well-intentioned bastard that will definitely help with this plan, not anything else.”

  Well intentioned? What part of setting up an innocent guy for kidnap, assault and rape is well intentioned?

  “So that’s what all this is all about, huh?” I start, my shoulder so tense, the ache is spreading down my back. “What is this? Scorned Spouses Club?”

  “Scorned?” Nathan growls, taking a step toward me, that darkness about him now taking a firm form. “Scorned is not the word I’d use to describe for what between the women you chose to confuse and my dearest brother.”

  I don’t miss the way he practically spits the word out, but I don’t care because all I can focus on is what he said. I confused Nancy and Nicky? How is that possible? If I make it out of here, I have to find Nicky and demand all the answers I need.

  But first, this shit.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I snap back, refusing to give in to this need in me to step back and shrink from his intimidating gait. “How should we label this pathetic duo? Jealous Unlimited? I have to admit, it has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

  “Is this a joke to you?” Courtney snaps.

  “A joke?” I counter. “You think I came all the way here to crack jokes with you?”

  “Well, you certainly didn’t come here for tea and biscuits, that’s for sure.”

  “Tea and biscuits?” I snort, the insanity of the past few months now weighing heavily on my chest, I can barely breathe. “I came here to make you stop all this nonsense!” I seethe, hating that I have to go this extra mile for a mother to fight for her children. “I came here to make you do the right thing and this is who I find you with?”

  Courtney opens her mouth to say something, but Nathan takes a smooth step toward me and she snaps her jaw shut grudgingly.

  “I told you we didn’t need to do anything,” my father starts, a smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes. “My Amy would know what to do and now, here she is.”

  It’s not lost on me that they’ve been waiting for me. It’s obvious in the way Courtney opened the door, but I choose to ignore him, looking at Courtney. Her palm is twitching like she wants to hit me. I stand there, waiting but after a minute, she seems to think better of it, though the hate in her eyes is more intense than before. I guess she doesn’t like it when she’s cal
led an abuser.

  Just another thing she has in common with my father.

  Bristling like a petulant child who didn’t get her way, she shuts the double oak doors with force, causing them to close with a loud bang that reverberates through me, echoing around the foyer that suddenly seems bigger than it was when I was younger.

  “This is all your fault,” Courtney whispers hotly in my ear as she passes me. “Everything that’s happening right now to Julian, it’s your fault.”

  Dread sinks into my bones, seeming to shred my veins when she says that. I want to deny it. I want to scream and cry. I want to protest but the truth is, I’ve been kicking myself, blaming myself, hating myself all the way from the bed Julian was holding me and through the tense flight back home. There isn’t a messed-up thought in the world that I haven’t thought of about myself, but right now, hearing this shit from Courtney, I’ve had enough.

  “Oh, spare me that horse shit, Courtney,” I snap. “I’m not your punching bag and I’m certainly not going to take your crap.”

  She turns around with gasp escaping her lips. “My fault?”

  “Did I stutter?”

  “You have some nerve coming over here to tell me that this is all my fault.”

  “Well, isn’t it?” I snap, unable to hide the disgust in my voice. “If it wasn’t for you, your sons wouldn’t be beating themselves up for what you did to Aiden.”

  Her face falls, as her mouth drops open, Yeah, bet she didn’t think I knew about that.

  “If it wasn’t for you, your Julian’s future wouldn’t be falling apart like some damn cheap one-ply toilet paper.”

  “Come on, Mia,” Courtney starts, obviously scrambling to keep her composure. “That’s all on you. If you had stayed away like I warned you. If you had taken my advice and made sure that they wouldn’t find you, then Julian wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

  I want to slap her so hard right now, I can hardly breathe. “What is wrong with you? Do you hate a dead woman for being the love of John’s life this much that you would do this?”

  Before she can respond though, a deep bark of laughter heightens the tense atmosphere as the dark notes of it and lack of humor reach my eras.