Awakening

by A.C. Deen

  Chapter 16

  I left the cottage and sped back into town. I pulled up out front of The Spark, Jonah was waiting. He got into the car wondering what had taken me so long. I explained that my grandmother was home. He understood. I asked him the directions to his new apartment. He told me that we were already there. I didn’t understand. He explained that his new apartment was above The Spark. I asked him if it would be weird living so close to his workplace. He explained to me that he had purchased The Spark and that he was the new owner of both the coffee shop and the apartment above it. He had had to take out a mortgage in order to afford it but he was so excited to be the new owner of the coffee shop that we both loved so much.

  We got out of the car. The door to the apartment was right beside the entrance to The Spark. We walked up a long flight of stairs. When we reached the top Jonah asked me to close my eyes. He opened the apartment door. We walked in and I opened my eyes. I was speechless. The apartment was absolutely stunning. It had an open concept, with beautiful wide windows, original hardwood floors, and crown moulding. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  We began unpacking and putting away his possessions. We worked for hours. Before we knew it the sun had set and the day had turned to evening. I was getting very hungry and wouldn’t be able to ignore it for much longer. I left the boxes in the kitchen and headed to the bedroom to tell Jonah that I needed to go to the park to hunt as I was famished. He was in the living room sorting through a stack of papers. He had his finger in his mouth. He pulled it out to tell me that he had gotten a paper cut but had no idea which box the adhesive bandages were in. The cut was small, but I could sense it just the same. I could hear his pulse squeezing more and more blood through the tiny gash. I was beside him. I grabbed his hand and watched the blood that was now dripping down to his wrist. He tried to pull away and protested my actions, but I couldn’t hear him. I lost control. I lifted his wrist to my mouth. His blood danced against my tongue. The sweet red nectar aroused feelings inside of me that I had never felt before. His warm skin was intoxicating. My teeth broke through the tender flesh of his wrist. His body relaxed into mine as my venom surged through his veins. I guided his body gently down to the ground. I knelt beside him and drank. Each swallow even more addictive than the last. I couldn’t stop myself.

  Suddenly, a burst of energy rained through the talisman and flung me away from Jonah. I hit my head hard against the brick wall. What had just happened? I couldn’t believe what I had just done. I had no control over myself. I ran to him and shook his shoulders trying to get him to wake up, but he wouldn’t. I put my head to his chest and listened for his heart. It was still beating and he was breathing. He was going to be okay, but he was going to hate me.

  I rummaged through the packing boxes until I found a first aid kit. I carefully bandaged up his wrist. I couldn’t just leave him laying on the cold floor. I picked up his body and carried him to the couch. I covered him with a blanket. I sat down on the floor beside him and waited for him to wake up. Hours passed without change. Panic was taking over my whole body. I regretted not calling an ambulance as maybe I had taken too much blood after all.

  It was getting very late and I had grown tired. I was feeling both physically and mentally drained. Just when I thought things were going well for me, everything had to take a turn for the worst. I stared down at my talisman, wondering where the power it was emulating came from. Grandma had said that it would offer me protection, but I didn’t realize that it would be protection against myself. I laid down on the wood plank floor beside the couch and stared up at the ceiling. I let my eyes close and I fell asleep.

  I was awakened to the feeling of Jonah laying beside me in his bed. He must have woken up and carried me there while he was sleeping. I sprang up and placed my hand on his arm. I asked him if he was okay. He was fine. He was better than fine. He told me that he awoke feeling more alive than ever before. He leaned in close to me and kissed my jaw. His warm lips caressed against my neck and collarbone. He wanted me. He was full of my venom and I his blood. I couldn’t resist him. He pushed me onto my back and slid his body on top of mine. He pressed his lips into mine. My lips melted open and the tip of my tongue danced against his. I had to have him. Our passionate encounter ended with Jonah holding me in his arms. We fell asleep together.

  I couldn’t sleep. I felt restless. Jonah was fast asleep beside me. I poked him in the side to try to get his attention, but he just mumbled something inaudible and went back to sleep. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I groggily opened my eyes, and there she was, the little girl. She brought her finger to her lips and told me to shush. She extended her other hand towards me and pressed her index finger against my stomach. I fell back against the bed and fell back to sleep.

  Chapter 17

  I awoke the next morning to the feeling of Jonah’s arms wrapped around me. He kissed my head and wished me happy birthday. I turned over, kissed his cheek, and then closed my eyes. As I laid there relaxing, the memories of the night came back to me. I remembered seeing the little girl and her touching my stomach. What did it mean? I felt fine, no actually I felt great. Could I be pregnant? And then it dawned on me, if I was pregnant, then what about my grandma?

  I jumped out of bed. I told Jonah that I had to go home but that I would explain everything later. I flew out the door, drove home, and ran into the house. Mom was in the kitchen with the phone to her ear and then she dropped the receiver. Her eyes began to well up with tears. She told me that it was grandpa on the phone and that grandma had died last night in her sleep. I ran to my mother and we grabbed hold of one another. She cried in my arms and told me how she wasn’t ready to lose her mother yet. I felt like someone had just stabbed a dagger through my heart. I comforted my mother the best that I could.

  I went up to my room, closed the door behind me, and threw myself face down on the bed. I broke down. It was all my fault. If it wasn’t for me, my grandma would still be here. I couldn’t imagine life without her. I didn’t want to. I held my talisman close to my heart and cried. I felt completely gutted and utterly alone. This was the worst birthday ever.

  Later that evening Jonah came over to see how I was doing. We sat on the edge of my bed and he comforted me. I told him how grandma had passed away in her sleep. I rested my head against his chest and he smoothed my hair. He slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small brown paper box. He told me how sorry he was and how he wished that my birthday could have been a much happier one. He handed me the box. I held it in my palm. It was very light. I slipped off the lid to reveal a small lock of brown hair tied together with a tiny lavender ribbon. Jonah explained to me that when we stayed at the cabin he had found a sandwich bag of my grandmother’s hair in the medicine cabinet. He picked up my talisman and unscrewed the lid. He gently placed the lock of hair inside the compartment beside the obsidian stone, and then replaced the lid. I began to cry. He placed his fingertips on my chin and drew my quivering lips to his. I kissed him back deeply and passionately. He kissed my neck and whispered that she would always be with me.

  Chapter 18

  The next few days were very difficult. My grandpa came to stay with us as he couldn’t bear to stay at the cabin without grandma. He and my mother spent a lot of time making funeral arrangements. My brother was sleeping on a roll out cot with me in my room. It was safe for him to be around me. I was feeling so depressed that I didn’t even have an appetite.

  The funeral was set for Friday. Grandpa asked me if I could speak at the funeral. He told me that he knew how close I was to grandma and that it would make her so happy to look down on us and hear me speaking so fondly of her. I agreed.

  I hadn’t spoken to Jonah in days. When I finally scrounged up the energy to pick up the phone, he wasn’t at home. He must have been at work. He was working a lot more now that he was the owner. I left him a message inviting him to the funeral. I told him that grandpa had asked me to speak at the funeral.

  I
sat down at my desk and stared out the window at the beautiful spring day. I tried to imagine what grandma would want me to say about her. How do you put onto paper the most indescribable feelings about someone. I had a lot of work to do. I had to push the pain aside and think of all the good times we had together. I thought being a vampire was hard. It didn’t even come close to this. I put my pen to paper and started to write.

  Dear Grandma,

  I have been on this earth for eighteen years now, and for all of those years I have known you. You have loved me in a way that nobody else ever could. The bond between a grandmother and a granddaughter is a very special thing. There are no words that would ever be worthy enough to describe its significance. Now you are gone and I am forced to live the rest of my life without you. I want you to know that I will think about and love you everyday, until the time comes when we are together once more.

  When I was a little girl, I remember spending time in the garden with you during the summer. You taught me how to gently pluck the wilted flowers from the petunia plants. The plant, in return for my service, would reward me tenfold by producing even more beautiful blossoms to enjoy. You showed me that all life was significant and that a gentle touch and helping hand is all it takes to make magnificent things happen. The impact of a good deed ripples out far beyond what a person can see.

  You were such a caring person. This was evident through your life’s work as a doctor’s assistant. You helped so many people throughout your career, including grandpa, who was a patient that you cared for. I have never met two people who loved each other more than you and grandpa. You taught me what it truly means to love and care for someone with your whole heart.

  You were a free spirit who taught me that dreaming, imagination, and keeping my mind open to a world of possibilities was very important. During the past year, I became closer to you than I had ever been before. I could feel myself becoming more and more like you with each passing day. You were the single most important person in my life. I can’t see you anymore, but I can feel you in my heart. Please wait for me.

  Love always,

  Ellie

  I wrote it. The paper was moist from my tears. I decided to leave it just as I had written it. I could rewrite it one hundred times and always find a flaw. There is no perfect way to tell someone goodbye. Their significance far surpasses anything that can be written. I leaned against the back of my chair and stared blankly at the wall.

  Chapter 19

  The day of the funeral came quickly. When I bought the knee length black lace dress that I chose to wear to the funeral two summers ago, I never would have imagined that I would be wearing it to my grandmother’s funeral. But there it was, laid out neatly on my bed. I put on the dress and stared at myself in the mirror. I was so pale and my eyes were red and puffy. I slipped my talisman around my neck. I needed all the strength it could provide me to get through this day. Wearing it made me feel like my grandmother was with me. I grabbed the speech from my desk, carefully folded it into quarters, and headed downstairs. My mom, brother, grandpa, and Jonah were all waiting for me in the living room.

  It was a fittingly dreary day, as if our moods were able to dictate the weather. Cold, clammy, and raining. We rushed out to the car and drove to the very same chapel where my grandparents had gotten married so many years before. It was a small service. The people who came were all very important to my grandmother, and she to them. The chapel had tall stained glass windows. I could hear the raindrops driving against them. We sat in the front row. Her casket was front and center. I was glad it was closed. I couldn’t bear to see her that way. She was the type of person who was always so full of life and that’s how I wanted to remember her.

  When I walked up to give my speech I had so many mixed feelings, nerves, fear, and an overwhelming sense of nausea that rose up from the pit of my stomach that I just couldn’t shake. My voice wavered as I spoke the words I had written. Cold tears tumbled down my face as I tried so hard to keep it together. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I did it. As I left the podium and went back to my seat, grandpa rose from his chair. He hugged me tight and then handed me an envelope. He told me that grandma had left it on her night stand the night before she passed away and that he had noticed it there the next day. I hugged the envelope close to my chest and went back to my seat.

  We exited the chapel after the service. I looked up at the sky. It felt like a new day was being born. The clouds were clearing exposing vivid blue sky and the warm sun was shining down. I could hear birds singing. I told my family and Jonah that I would meet them at home. I wanted to go for a walk in the park to clear my head and read the letter that grandma had left for me.

  I decided to go back to my favorite spot in the park, the place where my new life had started, under the bridge. I leaned against one of the bridge footings and carefully opened the envelope. Inside was a letter printed on pink paper with a floral watermark, and of course it had been folded into quarters.

  My dearest granddaughter Ellie,

  I fear that this will be the last time I get to write to you. The time has come for me to leave this reality. I want you to know how much I love you. I am so proud of the amazing, strong woman you have become. I want you to believe and understand that my death is not your fault. It is but the circle of life. If there is one thing in this life that humans and vampires alike can all be certain of, it’s death. We all have to die eventually. I want you to know that I had a very good life and consider you to be my greatest accomplishment.

  Let me speak now about that feeling in your tummy. I’m sure that by now you are well aware of it. There is magic happening inside of you. A little person has taken up residence and is growing more and more with each passing day. Nine months from now he or she will come into this world. Please love your child with all the love you felt for me as this baby is nature’s greatest gift and deserves all of it.

  Any time that you feel scared, lonely, or just wish you could speak to me, please know that while you cannot see me anymore, I am still here. Always wear your talisman. It will protect you in ways that I am unable to explain right now.

  I love you so much Ellie. Until we meet again,

  Grandma Lenore

  I set the letter down on the grass and placed my palms on my stomach. I had been trying so hard to ignore the sensations I had been feeling. I closed my eyes and listened. I could hear a repetitious whooshing sound emanating from my belly. I could feel it too. It was a heartbeat, quick and steady. It was my baby.

  What would I tell my mom and Jonah? How could I explain any of this to them? I couldn’t. Jonah would assume the baby was his and maybe that would be okay. Mom would also assume it was his. Was the baby really Jonah’s though, I wondered. Perhaps my pregnancy was inflicted by the child in my dream. I remembered grandma mentioning something about that to me before. I walked home from the park with all of those thoughts swimming around in my head. By the time I reached the house, I had made up my mind. I wasn’t going to say anything about the pregnancy and just let everyone assume whatever they wanted to.

  Chapter 20

  Over the course of the next month, I moved out of my mom’s house and into Jonah’s apartment. My mom was so pleased that I was working hard and making my own way in the world. Of course I still came to visit often, but it was nice to have a sense of independence. I loved living with Jonah. The more time we spent together the closer we became.

  Spring turned into summer and my jeans had become too tight to do up. I couldn’t hide my expanding belly under big sweaters any longer. One night after The Spark had closed and Jonah came home I told him that I was pregnant. I was so scared that he would be mad, but he wasn’t. He grabbed me around the waist and hugged me tight. He looked me in the eyes with a smile so big that it showed in his eyes. He told me that he had always wanted to be a dad and that there was nobody else in this world that he would rather share this experience with. At that moment, it felt real. It was no longer a s
ecret. It was happening.

  I was so relieved that Jonah took the news so well. I was not so sure about the next person I had to tell, my mom. In the end though she was very supportive. She knew that I was in a loving relationship and felt like we had steady incomes and would be able to make it work. She was looking forward to being a grandma and was already busy picking out nursery decor. She asked me if we were going to find out whether the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. I told her that we were going to keep it a surprise and find out when the baby was born.

  Chapter 21

  Months passed. It was autumn now. My favorite season. This was the first year my grandpa flew south without my grandma. He had left about a month ago. My belly was getting quite large. One day I thought it would be a good idea to head out to the cottage to spend some time alone and get some fresh air. Jonah was working that day anyway. I hauled my heavy body down the stairs and into the car. My seat belt could hardly fit around me. It looked like I was carrying around a watermelon under my shirt. I started the car and headed for the cabin.

  Once there I unlocked the door and went inside. I sat down on my grandpa’s chair by the door. I slipped off my shoes and looked around. Everything looked the same, just as it had always been. My grandpa refused to get rid of any of grandma’s possessions after she had passed away. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of a place that was so palpably nostalgic.

  I began to feel something brushing against my pant leg and pushing against my calf. I opened my eyes and looked down. It was Minou. She was a feral tabby cat that my grandma started taking care of over twenty years ago, before I was even born. She had even installed a small cat door so that when they were gone away that Minou would always have a warm place to stay.

  She looked up at me with her large greenish-yellow eyes and started to purr. She wasn’t afraid of me. I reached down and tousled the fur on her head. She was so frail. Her legs were shaky and lacked the coordination that they once boasted. Her formerly colorful fur had become dull and gray with age. She purred at me as I scratched her thin, fragile neck. I could feel her bones.