So long as she was entrenched in her work, she could pretend that everything was okay.
That the idyllic little life she’d built was as perfect as it seemed.
That she wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop…for the moment when her beloved husband told her that he couldn’t just forgive her, and told her he was leaving.
Please, God, anything but that.
7
Cee-cee
“Okay, I’m heading out early,” Cee-cee called to Pete, who was manning the cash register. “I’ll just be down the street at Mo’s, so call me if you run into any problems closing up.”
Pete assured her he had everything under control, and, with one last wave over her shoulder, she stepped into the cool, early autumn air. The stress weighing in the back of her mind had taken its toll on her.
Her grumbling stomach broke her silent meditation as she made her way down the street toward the diner. Mick was still tied up installing some bookshelves for Maryanne, so Cee-cee was on her own for dinner. As much as she missed his company, she was grateful for the excuse not to cook dinner. The fact that she could check in on Eva was an added bonus—Eva hadn’t been around much since Pop’s death, and Cee-cee was worried about her.
The heavy rain had finally stopped, but it was still misting and Cee-cee hurried a little faster as Mo’s came into sight, greeting her with its cheerful familiarity. The bell rang as she pushed open the door, and she was greeted by the tantalizing aromas of delicious food. She breathed deeply of the scent and felt some of the tension melt like butter. That was the power of places that felt like home.
And the power of good food, she thought to herself.
It was pot roast night at Mo’s.
Between the ache that never quite went away since Pop had died, the tangle of deceit between Sasha and Gabe, the bottled-up emotions from not being able to share that burden with Mick… I hope this roast has super-comfort powers. I need all the help I can get, she thought ruefully.
“Take a seat, I’ll be right with you,” Eva’s gruff voice called from the kitchen, scattering Cee-cee’s thoughts and pulling her back to the present.
She eyed her favorite booth by the window, but decided against it in favor of a stool at the counter with close access to the kitchen, in hopes that she could convince Eva to sit and visit for a while.
As if on cue, Eva stepped out of the kitchen, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She was still a very handsome woman, but somehow she looked older to Cee-cee in the past couple months since Pop’s death. The lines in her face seemed to be etched a little deeper, and her usually rosy cheeks were pale. Cee-cee’s heart squeezed in her chest.
It looked like Eva was feeling the loss, too.
Still, her face lit up a bit as she caught sight of Cee-cee. “How’ve you been, girlie?” Eva asked.
“Starving!”
“Let’s get you taken care of, then. What’ll you have, hon?” Eva asked.
Without hesitation, Cee-cee ordered the pot roast with extra potatoes. It was definitely a night for comfort food. Eva nodded approvingly at her choice.
“You’re going to love it. We just hired a new cook a few days ago and she’s really something. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was magic—that girl can cook. I can’t figure out for the life of me why she’d want to work in a small diner like this, but we’re grateful to have her. You’ll be, too, once you try her food. Make sure you save some room for dessert!” Eva said.
“I always do,” Cee-cee assured her, smiling. “I came before the rush, hoping you’d let me buy you some dinner. If you have time to sit and eat with me, I’d love the company.”
Eva hesitated for a moment before nodding. “I’ll be back in two shakes, hon. Let me go tell the cook your order,” she said as she headed back into the kitchen.
Cee-cee knew that Eva, though big-hearted, was a bit rough around the edges and didn’t necessarily like to talk too much about her feelings. She decided to follow Eva’s lead and not push her to talk too much about Pop, even though she privately ached to be of some help to her.
Cee-cee’s phone buzzed, and her screen lit up with a text from Anna. Cee-cee had asked her earlier what she could bring to dinner at her place the next day. She unlocked her phone and read.
No need to bring anything but yourself…and maybe a dozen of your best cupcakes!
Smiling, Cee-cee sent back a quick reply.
Will do, followed by a smiley face.
She was just tucking her phone back into her purse when Eva came back from the kitchen.
“I can talk for a while, but I’m not hungry yet,” Eva said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Wordlessly, she lifted an eyebrow and gestured with the coffee pot towards Cee-cee. Cee-cee shook her head to the offer, and asked for a club soda instead. Once they both had their drinks, Eva sank onto the stool next to her, sighing gratefully.
“I’ll admit it’s nice to have a chance to sit for a second.” She took a sip of her coffee and closed her eyes appreciatively for a moment, savoring the brew before continuing. “Even when it’s slow, between refilling all the condiments and polishing silverware, some days it feels like I never stop moving. Probably for the best, though. Having too much time on my hands is…” She trailed off and lifted her chin. “Enough of that. Now then, how does it feel to know you’ll be a grandma soon enough?”
“It’s hard to believe my kids are so grown up already, but I’m excited.” She faced her friend fully, and searched her expression. “Eva, how are you doing? I mean, how are you really doing?”
“I’m just fine, kiddo. Just fine,” she responded firmly, but her smile wobbled and her coffee cup thunked just a little too loudly as she set it down on the counter.
Cee-cee waited quietly. She sensed that Eva had more to say. The only question was, would she say it?
They sat in silence for a long moment until Eva finally piped up.
“I miss your father.” The older woman’s eyes shimmered with tears. One broke free and slid down her face before splashing into her cup. Brusquely, Eva swiped her cheek, but not before another tear fell.
Cee-cee reached for her sturdy hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Geez Louise, look at these ridiculous waterworks,” Eva muttered. “Sorry, kiddo, I don’t know what’s the matter with me lately.”
Cee-cee shook her head. “It’s ok, Eva. We’ve all got to let it out sometimes. Grief has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. You think you’re doing better and then something little will remind you of what you lost, and…” She felt tears collecting in her eyes and throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m here for you. And if you ever want to talk, about him, about your day, about anything, I’m here.”
Eva nodded and pursed her lips, clearly trying to hold back more tears. “I miss him more than I thought was possible. Seems like all we did was argue, but for the life of me, I would trade anything for one more argument with that old coot.”
“I miss him, too,” Cee-cee responded softly. She paused, then pressed on. “We lost Pop, but we didn’t lose you, Eva. We haven’t seen you much, and the whole family misses you.”
Eva looked away. “I know. I got your messages and I’m sorry I haven’t called you back. It’s just so painful and you all have enough on your plates dealing with your own loss.”
“It’s easier to manage when we share the pain. Why don’t you come to Anna and Beckett’s house for dinner tomorrow? Everyone will be there, and we’d all love to see you.”
Eva met Cee-cee’s eyes, and the sincerity in them must’ve convinced her.
She sat up straighter and nodded. “All right, count me in.”
Their conversation was interrupted as the kitchen door swung open, revealing a woman balancing two steaming plates of pot roast and fixings.
The food smelled delicious and looked like a dream. Cee-cee and Eva eyed the heaped plates appreciatively. Even in her famished state, Cee-cee noticed the artistr
y and care with which the plates had been assembled.
“What did I tell you?” Eva said, proudly. “We’ve got wonderful new talent in our kitchen! Cee-cee, this is our new cook, Nikki.”
Nikki was pretty and looked to be in her late thirties, with brown curly hair that she’d pulled into a ponytail.
“Nikki, this is Cee-cee Burrows, of the Sullivan clan. She and her family have lived in Bluebird Bay for generations.”
Nikki stilled and then met Cee-cee’s gaze. She couldn’t help noticing the other woman’s eyes—they were a lovely shade of green-gold. A strange sense of déjà vu washed over Cee-cee like she had seen Nikki somewhere before, but she couldn’t quite place it...
“Have you ever been to Bluebird Bay before, Nikki?”
“Never,” the younger woman replied as she set the plates down. “It’s lovely here so far, though.”
Cee-cee nodded and turned her attention back to the food, eyeing the smooth, rich gravy.
“Ooh, is that rosemary I smell?”
“It is. Do you cook, as well?” Nikki asked her.
“Cee-cee is an excellent cook, but she’s famous for her baking—she owns one cupcake shop by the pier, and there are more on the way,” Eva interjected with a proud smile. “A hometown girl who’s made it big.”
“Come to the shop,” Cee-cee added with an embarrassed chuckle. “There will be a free cupcake with your name on it.”
Nikki nodded absently, her eyes locked on Cee-cee again, almost as if she was in a trance. An awkward silence stretched between them, broken only by the quiet ticking of a clock on the wall.
“You okay?” Eva asked.
Nikki shook her head as if to clear it and her lips tipped into a smile. “Sorry, I just remembered I have a batch of rolls in the oven. Nice meeting you, Cee-cee!” she called as she retreated to the kitchen.
“It’s been a long day. She covered the breakfast shift for Mo starting at five AM, so she’s probably just tired,” Eva said as she topped off her coffee cup before picking up her fork and tucking into her pot roast. “Boy, I know I said I wasn’t going to eat, but it looks like Nikki has changed my mind!”
Picking up her own fork, Cee-cee lifted a generous bite to her mouth. “Mmm,” she groaned happily as she ate.
“Amen,” Eva responded through her own mouthful.
The pot roast was heavenly. Juicy, and so tender it nearly fell apart with just the touch of her fork. She had definitely made the right choice to come here tonight instead of eating leftovers alone at her place. By the time her plate was clean, she wondered if Eva would have to roll her out of the diner.
“I thought you said you always saved room for dessert?” Eva joked.
Cee-cee groaned in mock horror, but if the dessert was anywhere near as delicious as her meal had been…
“I might be able to squeeze in a bite or two and split a dessert with you,” Cee-cee laughed.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Eva replied. “You can take home whatever you can’t finish of your own dessert, but there’s no way in hell I’m splitting mine!”
Cee-cee put up her hands in surrender. “All right, all right. What’ve you got?”
“Peach pie with fresh vanilla ice cream. Like your mother used to make every summer when you were kids. Red used to talk about it and gave me the recipes before he…” Eva trailed off and swallowed audibly.
Cee-cee’s eyes misted as she thought of girlhood summers playing with her sisters, eating their mother’s ice cream over a warm slice of pie. “I can make room for that,” she said softly.
Eva bustled off to put their desserts together. When she came back, they ate in companionable silence. The only sound was the quiet clinking of their forks and the bell at the door as dinner guests began trickling in. Cee-cee had been so sure she couldn’t eat another bite after the pot roast, but it turned out that pie and ice cream was what her soul needed, even if her stomach was bursting.
After reminding Eva not to forget about dinner at Anna and Beckett’s and giving her a hug, Cee-cee tried to pay for her meal. Eva declared it was on her, and Cee-cee pretended to acquiesce, but she placed a generous tip in the jar on the counter that more than covered the two meals.
As she left the diner and walked back towards her shop, she thought back to Nikki. The meal had almost been enough to make her forget the rather odd encounter with the cook at Mo’s.
Almost.
8
Max
“Here you go,” Anna said to Max, holding a wooden cutting board toward her. “You’re on garlic bread duty.”
Max took the cutting board and made a workspace for herself at the kitchen counter. “Did you give me the easiest job because you knew I couldn’t screw it up?” she teased. “What next, are you going to sit me at the kids’ table?”
“Don’t tempt me,” Anna laughed.
Max unwrapped the loaf of Italian bread resting on the counter and paused for a moment to appreciate the yeasty smell before slicing it in half lengthwise. “We wouldn’t want your parting memory of Bluebird Bay to be one of a ruined meal, that’s true. Although, really, I think I could’ve handled tossing a salad.”
Anna laughed but didn’t look up from the pile of raw vegetables she was rinsing for the salad. After drying them off, she pulled out a cutting board for herself, selected a tomato, and began slicing.
“You know I’m just teasing you, Max. You’re very capable. I asked you to work on the bread so I didn’t end up eating it all before we even had a chance to get it to the table.”
Max grinned and they worked in silence for a few moments. She really loved this house. Beckett had done a great job with the Craftsman style so it was big, but felt oddly cozy. The sound of soft laughter and chatter echoed from the dining room where Stephanie, Ethan, Beckett, and Ian were setting the table and munching on bruschetta. Max loved that Ian fit in so easily with her family. He bantered and joked with them as if he’d been part of their family dinners for years.
Max relished the feeling of contentment as she spread garlic butter generously on the fluffy insides of the crusty loaf. Aunt Anna had been right about the temptation to eat the bread before it was ready. Her mouth watered in anticipation, and her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten much that day except a hurried peanut butter and jelly sandwich while unpacking a new shipment of books at her shop. Dinner was going to be delicious, and she was heartily looking forward to it.
Gazing out the kitchen window while she worked, Max noticed a couple walking a golden retriever down the neighborhood street. Their jackets were buttoned up high against the chilly wind that whipped across their faces and toyed with the woman’s hair, making Max appreciate Anna and Beckett’s place even more. The house was snug and warm, not just from the fire crackling to ward off the early autumn cold snap gripping Bluebird Bay, but also from the warmth of the family’s shared love and laughter.
She shot her aunt a glance. “Now that I think about it, I bet the real reason you’re flying out to Hawaii is so you can send us all pictures of you luxuriating on the beach while we shiver back home.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Anna teased back, “but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it! I’ll go to Alaska to get some shots of a polar bear if I have to, and I love the foliage here in Maine, but I’m a summer girl at heart. White sandy beaches…drinking daiquiris with little umbrellas floating in them…Beckett in his swimming trunks…and of course, so much delicious sunshine.” She closed her eyes dreamily, teasing her niece. “Are you sure you don’t want to just sneak into my suitcase and come along?”
“If I could spare a moment from the bookshop, I might just think about following your example,” Max replied.
Actually, now that she thought on it, she could use a vacation. It had been a long year for them all. Maybe she and Ian could plan a getaway to somewhere warm this winter. She made a mental note to broach the topic with him.
“Garlic bread, going in, Capt
ain,” she said as she carried the tray of garlic bread and slid it into the waiting oven.
“Perfect timing. The others will be here in the next twenty minutes.”
Max’s stomach tightened with dread. Having come early to help her aunt with dinner preparations, she had allowed herself to forget the sticky family situation for a time. The comfortable conversation and warm chatter floating in from the dining room would be short-lived once Sasha and Gabe arrived. She had no fear her mother or Aunt Anna would mention anything—they’d sworn not to, after all—but it was going to take a Herculean effort for them all to act like nothing had changed.
Especially her.
Come on, Max, it’s only a couple of hours. You’ve got this, she told herself. Put on your game face and woman up. For Gabe’s sake.
“So, how are you liking living here with Beckett so far?” she asked her aunt, trying to force her thoughts into a new direction.
“It’s been nice. Really nice, actually,” Anna responded. She paused for a moment in quiet reflection, her face composed and content. “You know, it hasn’t been all that long, but it already feels like home to me.” Grinning slyly, she continued, “It doesn’t hurt that this living situation comes with a hunky, built-in man of the house.” She winked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Max laughed with Anna, glad to see her aunt so settled and happy. “Beckett’s good for you. We’re all glad you two found each other.”
Anna nodded. “I feel really lucky to have him. So much has happened lately, and he’s been amazing. He’s always there for me to lean on. You know, I never really had someone like that before, so I didn’t know I needed, or even wanted it. Now that I have him, I don’t know how I would be getting through all of this alone.”
Anna’s voice ended on a soft and tender note. Anna wasn’t usually one to show emotion; she was usually tough as nails. Right now, though, she looked as vulnerable as Max had ever seen her, besides during her cancer battle.
Finding Forgiveness: A Bluebird Bay Novel Page 5