Max’s heart swelled with love for her and she slid closer so that their shoulders were touching.
“Pop’s death…it’s been really hard,” Anna continued. “I mean, I know it’s been hard on all of us. It’s just that…it’s brought back all the pain of losing Mom, too. And I know it sounds crazy, but I keep thinking...I keep thinking about how I’m an orphan now.” She paused, and then half-laughed. “Imagine, a forty-nine-year-old woman, calling herself an orphan? But that’s how it feels.”
Anna was silent for a few moments, but Max didn’t rush in to comfort her with some well-meaning but empty words. She sensed that, in this rare moment of openness, Anna needed to take her time and get it all out.
“While they were alive, it was like there was always some connection to where I came from, because those roots were alive and sunk deep into the soil here in Bluebird Bay. For someone who loves to travel so much and never wanted to settle in one place, I can’t tell you how strange it is to feel so adrift. As good as everything else in my life is right now, I feel sort of…bereft.”
“For a not so tall man, he took up a lot of space,” a low, feminine voice said softly from the doorway.
Max and Anna looked up. They hadn’t heard Stephanie walk into the kitchen, but she must’ve come in near the end of their conversation, because she was leaning on the doorframe that led to the dining room.
She moved across the kitchen to Anna and wrapped her in a tight squeeze. Max watched the sisters, her heart aching for their shared pain.
Surprisingly, Anna accepted and returned her sister’s embrace. She wasn’t usually one for public displays of affection, though she had a big heart. Sure enough, after a quiet moment of hugging, Anna grimaced.
“You’re killing me, Steph! I’m getting squished!”
That was enough encouragement for Max. She joined the sisters, making it a group hug, and smashed Anna between herself and Stephanie as Anna put up a perfunctory struggle.
“Oh hush, you love it,” Max teased, and the mood lightened a little.
A knock at the front door sounded and they stepped apart.
“Got it!” Beckett called from the other room.
Max noticed that Anna was surreptitiously wiping stray tears from her eyes, and Steph grabbed a paper towel from the roll on the counter to dab at her own.
A minute later, Cee-cee walked into the kitchen, arms laden with two white boxes, Mick and Eva trailing after her.
“Eva, it’s been too long! I’m so happy you’ve come,” Anna greeted the older woman. “Let me get you a club soda, and you can set that tray down on the counter there.”
Eva told her not to fuss as she set the tray she’d been holding on the island, but Max could see how pleased she was with the warm welcome. Knowing it would embarrass her, but not caring, Max wrapped Eva in a quick, but warm, hug.
“We’ve missed you.”
Eva blushed and muttered something gruff in return, busying herself by taking a drink of the club soda Anna handed to her. Next to them, Cee-cee turned toward Anna and dipped into a curtsy.
“Cupcakes, as your highness commanded,” she intoned, laughing. She lifted the boxes solemnly to her sister, acting as if she was a humble servant proffering a gift to a queen. Anna, joining in the antics, bowed her head regally.
“I accept. Now, do the rest of you see how Cee-cee is acting? That’s how I expect to be treated going forward,” she said, as everyone chuckled.
Once she’d handed the bakery boxes off to Anna, Cee-cee straightened.
“There are actually a lot of different ones, so we’ll have to cut them up so you can try them all. There’s a salted caramel that I swear will make you think you’ve died and gone to heaven.”
Anna groaned appreciatively. “My swimsuits won’t fit by the time I get to Hawaii, but you know what? I don’t even care.”
“It’s a good thing,” Eva interjected, pulling the foil off the top of the tray she’d set on the kitchen island. “Asparagus and cream cheese wrapped with pancetta and roasted.”
Anna groaned. “You guys are killing me with all the good food!”
“Don’t look at me, I didn’t make it—your father knew well and good that I can’t cook a lick. This is from Nikki—Cee-cee, you’ll remember her. She’s the new cook at Mo’s. I was going to just order something from the diner but she insisted on making these especially for me. Said they’re to die for, and so far, she hasn’t led me astray.”
Exclamations of how delicious Nikki’s appetizer looked sounded around the room. Max didn’t waste any time diving in, grabbing one and popping it into her mouth.
“Oh my,” she mumbled around the savory mouthful. The cream cheese melted in her mouth and paired beautifully with the saltiness of the pancetta. The roasting had brought out the flavor of the asparagus to perfection. “This Nikki chick was right,” she said, after she’d finished. “Those are definitely to die for.”
Max reached for another one, unable to stop herself.
“I promise I won’t eat them all, but these are really something!” She took another bite, but realized her mother was frowning. “Mom, try one, it’s so good and you love asparagus.”
Cee-cee hesitated a moment, but then nodded and reached for the tray. “You’re right, they’re delicious,” she agreed, after chewing silently for a moment. “That was really nice of Nikki. Please thank her for us, Eva.”
Max didn’t say anything, but she could sense that something was going on with her mother. Maybe she’d remembered, like Max had, that Gabe and Sasha would be here any second. And, just like that, Max felt the knot in her stomach tighten again with tension.
She made her way over to check on the garlic bread. Seeing that it was a golden brown and the butter was melted, she grabbed some mitts and pulled the sheet pan from the oven. The others continued talking around her as she set it down on the stove, took off the mitts, and Max slipped out of the kitchen.
A moment later, she was in the tiny powder room closing the door behind her.
Two quick seconds to get her head together, that was all she needed.
She rested her hands on the sink and took a deep breath. Aunt Anna had been right the other day, when she had advised her to not let the situation with Gabe and Sasha affect her. As much as she wanted to lash out at Sasha for lying to Gabe—and after causing him pain by breaking their engagement off, too—this wasn’t her battle to fight.
The only thing she could really do was put on her big girl panties and deal with the situation like an adult. Which would mean being civil to Sasha at dinner tonight, at the very least. Even if she couldn’t put on a happy face for her sister-in-law, the least she could do was not snarl at her. If he were in her shoes, Gabe would do the same for her.
She stared in the mirror and practiced a fake smile that wound up looking more like a grimace, and then rolled her eyes.
The things we do for the people we love.
9
Sasha
“So, how was work?” Sasha asked softly, finally turning her face away from the passenger’s side window to risk a glance at her husband.
They’d spent the first ten minutes of the car ride to Anna and Beckett’s in silence, and it’d taken a lot to build up the courage to ask the simple question, given how often he’d shut her down over the past couple months.
Patience, she reminded herself. She couldn’t expect it to happen overnight. She just needed to keep trying.
“Work was good,” Gabe said. A long moment passed, and it seemed like the trend of one-word answers that had become his norm would remain unbroken. Just when she’d given up hope, his hands tightened on the wheel as his clenched jaw loosened. “I, uh, took a family with two kids out this morning and they managed to catch some haddock. The little boy was squeamish, but the little girl loved it. She was so proud when she helped reel the first one in. It reminded me of all the times Pop took Max and I fishing.”
Sasha nodded eagerly as he spoke but she’d been focuse
d less on the words and more on the fact that, for now at least, he was actually having a normal conversation with her. Given how distant he’d been lately, the short description of his morning felt like a sonnet.
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” she said, wracking her brain for more questions to ask him about the expedition but coming up empty in her nervousness.
“What about you? How has working with Mick been?” he asked, looking at her as they pulled up to a stop light.
“Mick has been great. Alita was even saying we might be able to form a more long-term business relationship with him,” she managed.
He bobbed his head as she spoke. “That’d be really nice, right? He did amazing work on Mom’s shop and Max’s store. And he makes beautiful furniture and I’m sure some of the more high-end clients or long-time Bluebird Bay residents would like the idea of having some of their stuff handcrafted by a local.”
“No doubt about it. Maryanne is already tapping him to put up an accent wall and some other projects,” Sasha agreed, now almost sad that Beckett’s house was just around the corner. “She also seems to be interested in having me work on some other rooms.”
“Good for you,” Gabe said.
His tone was even and sincere, but she couldn’t help but think that the old Gabe would’ve pulled the car over and dragged her into an excited hug…told her how proud he was of her.
The pre-betrayal Gabe.
Her eyes stung and she laid a protective hand over her belly. It was all right. They’d made some strides…well, maybe more like baby steps, but it was better than standing still.
She forced herself to focus on the positive as they pulled up to the house and found six familiar cars filled the driveway.
“I guess everyone else is already here,” Gabe said, checking his watch as he parked in the grass on the edge of the yard.
Sasha reached down and grabbed the tray of meatballs she’d made, mentally preparing herself for interacting with Gabe’s family. The fact that she and Gabe were going through something would probably be obvious to anyone with eyes, given how affectionate they typically were before this whole mess. Still, spending time with the Sullivans was never boring and she knew she’d likely have fun once she actually got inside. All the chatter and warm, funny banter was so unlike her own experiences growing up, it never failed to cheer her.
She and Gabe stepped out of the car and began to walk toward the front door, which swung open before they’d even had time to knock.
“It’s great to see you two,” Anna said, grinning as she waved for them to come inside.
“Can I take your jackets?” Beckett asked, stepping toward the door with a welcoming smile.
“It’s good to see you, too, Aunt Anna,” Gabe replied, unzipping his jacket and handing it to the older man as Sasha did the same. “How’ve you been, Beckett?”
Anna put an arm around Sasha, pulling her close. “How’re you feeling?” she asked, gesturing to her belly.
“It hasn’t been too bad so far. I’m actually feeling pretty good now that the morning sickness has gone,” Sasha replied cautiously. Anna wasn’t usually the most outwardly affectionate of the Sullivan sisters and her embrace felt almost maternal. She had to admit, given her bruised heart, it felt kind of good and she leaned into it with a sigh.
“I’m sure the two of you will enjoy the little feast we’ve put together,” Anna said warmly, taking the tray from Sasha’s hand and waving for her and Gabe to follow her toward the dining room while Beckett disappeared with their jackets.
“You weren’t kidding,” Sasha murmured as she took in the spread.
Anna’s lasagna sat, in all its gooey, cheesy glory, at the center of the large, walnut table. It was flanked on either side by a delicious-looking salad with squash, bitter greens, and what looked like pecans. Beside that sat a half-full tray of asparagus wrapped in some kind of meat. Her mouth watered at the scent of garlic as she spied a massive, toasted loaf of bread. On the credenza in the corner sat a makeshift bar with a pitcher of blood-red sangria dotted with fruit, a couple bottles of seltzer, and a large pitcher of lemon water.
She turned away from the meal, greeting everyone in turn as she made her way around the table.
“How are you?” Sasha asked warmly, approaching Max, the only person left to greet. For a time, things had been tense between them when she and Gabe had first gotten back together, but after apologies on both sides, their interactions had been nothing but pleasant.
As she moved to hug Max, though, something felt off. Her sister-in-law’s eyes flicked away for an instant and her face remained impassive as she pulled Sasha in for a brief, awkward hug.
“Hi, Sasha,” she said a few seconds later, flashing a quick grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes before spinning around to greet her brother.
Had she done something to offend her?
Surely not. She’d been fine when Sasha had stopped by the boat to bring lunch the other day. She was just being paranoid because she still felt so guilty for deceiving Gabe. It was nothing more than a case of telltale heart syndrome.
“Why don’t you two sit by me,” Anna suggested cheerily as she motioned for Sasha and Gabe to come to the other side of the table.
They took the empty seats to her right and settled in.
“Let’s dig in,” Anna said, loud enough for the whole table to hear. Sasha’s stomach growled as she looked, once again, at the spread that the family had put together. She set her napkin on her lap and waited for the others to serve themselves before putting any food on her plate.
“Do you want a bit of everything?” Gabe surprised her by asking, his voice barely audible over the chatter about the food and various conversations happening around the table. He grabbed her plate and stood to reach for the bread.
“Yes, please,” she said, secretly a little surprised but pleased. More progress. He was trying, and that meant the world to her.
He handed her heaping plate back a moment later and then moved on to make his own. She glanced around the table, seeing if everyone had their food before picking up her fork.
“Eat,” Anna said, patting her lightly on the back with a chuckle, “you don’t have to worry about stuff like that with us. We’re not fancy.”
Sasha returned her smile before spearing a big bite of the salad and lifting it to her mouth. The crunch of candied pecans with the softness of the roasted squash was delightful, and the apple-forward dressing complemented the rest of the flavors perfectly.
“Wow, who made this salad?” Sasha exclaimed, “and, more importantly, can I get the recipe?”
“I did most of it,” Anna chimed in, “but it’s actually pretty simple. I’ll email it to you later tonight.”
“So good,” Cee-cee agreed, taking a second bite and nodding approvingly at her sister. “You might have saddled yourself with a second specialty, sis. Expect requests on every major holiday, at the very least.”
Beckett shot her a glance. “She’s becoming quite the cook since she’s moved in. I taught her everything I know,” he teased.
Anna nodded as she tore off a piece of bread. “He’s pretending that it’s a joke, but for real. Once he got me into the whole gardening thing, it was an easy transition. I actually kind of like it. Not as much as traveling,” she hurried to interject with a laugh. “But it’s nice…relaxing.”
Sasha felt eyes on her and turned, catching her mother-in-law’s gaze. Cee-cee quickly looked down at her plate and speared a piece of one of Sasha’s meatballs. “You did a great job on the meatballs, too, Sasha,” she said.
The words weren’t strange, but the way she’d looked away and now refused to meet Sasha’s eyes definitely were. Cee-cee was never awkward around her.
Sasha held back a frown, staring down, unseeingly, at her plate. First Max was acting weird and now her mother-in-law? What the hell was going on here? Could it be that everyone was just feeling Pop’s absence now that the whole family was together, or was it something mor
e?
“Have you tried the lasagna?” Gabe asked, interrupting her thoughts. He put a big forkful into his mouth, smiling as he began to chew. “Delicious.”
“Not yet,” Sasha managed. She was determined not to make a scene, but a disturbing thought was brewing in her mind, and she couldn’t seem to shake it.
“Don’t forget to thank Nikki for us,” Max said from across the table as she put her hand on Eva’s shoulder. “Maybe I’ll get a half dozen of Mom’s cupcakes tomorrow for her trouble. Do you think she’d like that?”
“Sure,” Eva said with a shrug, “who wouldn’t?”
Sasha waited for a long pause in the conversation, then interjected, “Who’s Nikki?”
Max sucked in a breath and then turned to face Sasha. “Yeah, um, she’s the new chef at Mo’s. She sent over the asparagus.”
She turned toward Ian and began chatting without waiting for a reply.
Sasha looked back down at her plate, mechanically shoveling another bite of lasagna into her mouth as her pulse raced and a trickle of dread snaked down her back. The second dinner was done, she would get to the bottom of this. If she was right, at least she would know she wasn’t crazy. If she was wrong, no harm, no foul.
Please, God, let me be wrong.
Gabe turned and, seeing Sasha’s expression, cocked his head. “You feeling okay?”
“I’m fine,” she lied, managing to keep her voice even.
He squinted for a moment longer before turning back to his meal. “If you say so.”
Sasha kept her eyes glued to the plate for the rest of the meal, listening to the surrounding conversations to pass the time but feeling like more and more of an outsider with each passing moment.
“So how’s it been running the vet clinic, Todd?” Cee-cee was asking her nephew.
“I love it,” he said, “my mom still takes care of a lot of the paperwork from home, but I’m learning and the animals are just amazing.”
“You’re doing great,” Stephanie reassured him. “You’ve already got the hard stuff down, now it’s just about the grunt work.”
Finding Forgiveness: A Bluebird Bay Novel Page 6