“You can think I’m crazy all you want, but she was here to check me out. Same reason she went to the clinic. I know something is fishy with her, and I’m going to find out what it is. Maybe Facebook has the answers we want,” Cee-cee said as she opened the laptop and pulled up her page to do a search. She froze and turned to Steph, realizing she didn’t know Nikki’s last name.
“Todd told me her last name is Merrill,” Stephanie said reluctantly. “I only remember because I had a crush on a guy in this soap opera with that name when I was younger.”
Cee-cee typed the name in and, after a quick scan and one click, a picture of Nikki filled the screen. “Hmm, so she told the truth about that. She is from Cherry Blossom Point,” Cee-cee muttered. There were several pictures of herself and her siblings—two sisters and a brother—who looked quite a bit older than Nikki, but there was no denying they were siblings. They all had a similar smile, but only Nikki struck that sense of familiarity in her…
“Look at that,” Steph said, and pointed to a picture of a college-aged girl with Nikki’s eyes wearing a Florida State University field hockey jersey. “She looks pretty young to have a daughter in college – I wonder how old she is?”
“Maybe she was a younger mom.” Cee-cee shrugged and kept clicking. When she got to Nikki’s friends list, she quickly found a blurry thumbnail image of an older couple who shared a page for “Eric and Wanda Merrill”. Judging by their ages, it seemed likely they were her parents. Cee-cee clicked again, opening their joint profile to find that they were both originally from Redding, a town bordering Bluebird Bay. “That’s a hop, skip and a jump from here. Curiouser and curiouser,” she muttered.
“Small world, I guess,” Steph said slowly, sounding less sure now.
The older Merrills didn’t do much posting, so Cee-cee went back to Nikki’s page. As she scrolled through her pictures, she landed on one that made her stop cold.
Maybe she was really losing it, because Nikki’s high school picture looked a whole lot like—
“Is that Anna?” Stephanie whispered.
So she wasn’t losing it after all.
They both stared, unblinking, at the screen for a long moment.
“I knew she looked familiar but I don’t know how I didn’t see it. They have the same eyes,” Cee-cee muttered. She turned to lock gazes with her pale-cheeked sister. “Did Pop have an affair with Wanda Merrill?”
She swallowed hard and pushed the rest of the words from her numb lips.
“Could Nikki be our half-sister?”
13
Sasha
"I'm in love with this cashmere throw," Maryanne announced, stroking the lush fabric with one hand as she sent a doe-eyed look at Sasha. "I know it doesn't go in the living room, but can we pretty please find a way to use it in the master bedroom?"
Sasha shook her head to clear it and managed an enthusiastic nod.
"Absolutely."
Maryanne had gone from needing help with the living room, to the master bathroom, and now, as they shopped the boutiques along the pier, she was upping the ante to add the bedroom to the list of rooms she wanted Sasha to handle.
It was so awesome, she would be giddy on a normal day. But today wasn't a normal day. In fact, she hadn't had any normal days since she told Gabe the truth.
No.
That wasn't true. She'd been a wreck since she'd found out she was pregnant. And that mess at the dinner party had certainly not helped matters. Sure, Gabe was trying a little harder to talk to her, but only because he still felt bad. It only drove the wedge between them deeper.
Something had to give.
"What colors compliment it, would you say?" Maryanne asked, interrupting her thoughts. "We might as well start looking for other pieces for the bedrooms, as well, while we're here."
Sasha glanced around at the array of blankets and pillows and one in particular caught her eye.
"This sage green would look gorgeous with it."
On its own, the color might look bland, but against the rose, it was the perfect contrast.
"Oh! I love it!" Maryanne clapped. "Yes, let's go that route. Dusty rose and green."
Sasha closed her eyes and tried to picture the layout of the room in her mind. "And I think burnished gold accents. Then, our accent color could be a darker rose, almost a burgundy with hints of pink. We'll do sheer curtains in that color, with gold embroidery. We can even make them ourselves if we find a great fabric."
She opened her eyes and found Maryanne staring at her. "I don't say this lightly, but I really do think you're amazing at this. How you do that...just imagine it all. I have a hard time seeing it until it's done, but you?" Maryanne laughed and shook her head. "It truly is a marvel. Tell me this...what's it like to figure out exactly what you're meant to do with your life at such a young age?"
Sasha picked up the pillow and the cashmere throw as she mulled over Maryanne's words.
"Honestly? It feels good. No matter how messed up everything else is, when I'm designing, and really into it, the rest fades away."
For the most part.
"That's lovely." Maryanne's bright blue eyes grew wistful. "I look at your mother-in-law and think, maybe there's still a chance for me. She found it late. Maybe I could, too?"
Sasha swallowed hard as she thought of Cee-cee and how terrible she felt for disappointing her. "I don't doubt it for one minute, Maryanne."
The other woman led the way down an aisle of vases and picture frames. "I used to envy her...not in a healthy way. She and Nate seemed to have the perfect marriage, and mine...all three of them, were such a mess." She blew out a sigh. "I was just so bitter. I'd let my first husband steal so much joy from me for so long. He convinced me I didn't want children. He steered my life and my career, all the while openly lusting after Anna and making me feel less than. When I finally got the courage to walk away, I did so right into the arms of another loser. Lather, rinse repeat. Then, what little good will I had in my heart, the cancer and treatments seemed to steal from me. I was so angry all the time. I hate to admit I felt almost glad when Cee-cee's life turned upside down and Nate left her. I thought she always had it easy, even in high school. It was a relief to see her dealt a little pain. I'm sure that makes you think I'm a terrible person, but I'm ashamed of the way I felt. Have been for a long time. I don't know if that matters or not."
"It matters to me," Sasha said slowly. "And being truly repentant has to count for something." Cee-cee and Maryanne had buried the hatchet. If Cee-cee could forgive Maryanne, then Sasha certainly wasn't going to let their past color her opinion of the woman. Especially since she'd clearly had some sort of epiphany.
"I appreciate that," Maryanne said, reaching for a chunky, textured sage-colored vase. "I'm glad we met, Sasha. Not just for the design work. I like you. You seem like a really good person, and I'm committed to surrounding myself with good people. Partly for obvious reasons, but also because I can watch how you behave and treat others and mimic that. Like a puppet trying to turn into a real girl," she said with a bark of self-deprecating laughter. "What's that saying? Fake it 'til you make it?"
Sasha chuckled and gently bumped Maryanne's shoulder with her own. "That's the one. And you're not fooling me. You are a good person, who has maybe done some crummy things. That's all of us, Maryanne."
Her thoughts instantly turned to Gabe and she absently cupped her belly.
"That's it," Maryanne said, setting the vase down with a clunk. "That's the expression. You get it a lot, and it's time to spill the beans. My rocky relationship with the Sullivan sisters has taught me one thing. Just because it all looks perfect from the outside, doesn't mean it is. You've got a gorgeous husband, the perfect job, a lovely little cottage, you're young, you're beautiful, and you have a baby on the way. So what gives?"
She and Maryanne had built up a great rapport, but she wasn't ready to share her biggest shame. She opened her mouth and then closed it with a snap.
"You know what?" Maryanne said
with a sad smile. "It's okay. I don't need to know the details. We can just shop and you can help me spend some money. Retail therapy always helps."
Sasha was relieved the other woman had given her an out, but after Maryanne had bared her soul, it felt wrong to not at least reciprocate in some way.
"Gabe and I are having issues. I...deceived him about something important, and we're trying to work through that. It's distracting, and I'm sorry I seem to have brought those feelings to work with me."
Maryanne snorted. "Please. We're people, not robots. We bring our emotions everywhere. Can't turn them off, unfortunately. Can I give you a piece of advice...from a woman who has had more than one marriage implode?"
Sasha nodded. "Of course."
"Whatever it is, talk. Don't let it fester. Don't wait for resentment to build and build. Don't give each other loads of time and space, because space is one of those things that takes over...like the blob. One minute, you're sleeping on one mattress but miles apart. Then, you're barely talking during the day. Those little texts or quick, "Need anything from the store?" or "Love you" calls stop. And soon enough, you decide that reading at night with your little backlight on might be disturbing him, so you go to bed in the spare room, intending to go back to the master before you go to sleep, but you never make it. Next thing you know, you have separate rooms and separate lives." Maryanne clutched her arm with gold-ringed fingers and held her gaze. "Don't let it happen, Sasha. Fight. Call a therapist. Talk and make him talk. It's the only way to let the poison out."
Sasha didn't realize she'd been holding her breath through most of Maryanne's impassioned speech, but when she let it out, it was like a release.
The older woman was right. It had gone on for far too long. She and Gabe had gone to counseling in the past. She'd put it out of her mind because she was so ashamed, she couldn't imagine telling a therapist what she'd done. And, worse than that? What if they told Gabe to leave her?
Rationally, she knew that wouldn't happen, but it didn't stop the fear from gripping her heart.
But the time for fear had passed. She needed to face this head on. Waiting wasn't working...for either one of them.
"Thank you, Maryanne. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."
Maryanne smiled and her cheeks flushed. "I'm glad. I was worried I'd overstepped."
"Well, you didn't, and I thank you for your honesty."
"You know what?" Maryanne announced. "We're doing good work here. Getting my house together, getting our lives together...it's exhausting and I need sustenance. This calls for a fancy lunch and a decadent dessert. Let's go to Pietro's once we finish here. What do you say? My treat."
Sasha nodded. "That would be fun, thank you."
As they continued around the store, she couldn't quell the ember of hope burning in her chest.
She loved Gabe to pieces, and if admitting her sins and allowing a professional to help them get through this was what it took, she would do it in a heartbeat.
Look out, Gabe.
Operation "Win Him Back" was in full effect.
14
Cee-cee
“Ready to go?”
Stephanie’s voice brought Cee-cee’s attention back to the present, and she realized with a jolt that, lost in thoughts about today’s plan, she must have been sitting and staring into space. Her icing bag lay limp in her hands, cupcakes half-frosted in front of her.
Although a few days had passed since she and Steph had decided they would confront Nikki to find out the truth, the potential ramifications of having their suspicions confirmed were terrifying. At first, they’d considered waiting for Anna to come home from her trip so she could weigh in, but the not knowing was far too terrible. She couldn’t stand hanging in this torturous limbo.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Cee-cee said, blowing out a worried sigh as she quickly finished frosting the rest of the cupcakes.
Stephanie’s eyes softened. “I’m scared, too, but we’ve got to do this. It’ll be like ripping off a band-aid.”
Cee-cee nodded, and stood to untie her apron. After laying it on her stool, she turned and faced Stephanie. “Let’s do this,” she said with more bravery than she felt.
To her surprise, Steph chuckled.
“What?” Cee-cee asked, a little stung.
Stephanie’s chuckle turned into a full belly laugh. She clutched her stomach with both arms and gasped out, “Sorry, but you look so serious, like we’re headed to the gallows and you have—frosting—your cheek—”
Cee-cee dashed to the powder room across the hall from the kitchen, and looked in the mirror. Sure enough, she had a large smear of princess pink frosting stuck to her cheek. Grabbing a paper towel and wetting it in the sink, she scrubbed. She could still hear Steph’s laughter from the other room. Once she was satisfied that her cheek was free of frosting, she made her way back to the kitchen.
Her sister was leaning on the work table, her attack of hilarity gradually fading. “I’m sorry,” she said with a wry grin. “You just looked so determined and fierce, and with that smear of frosting on your cheek, it was just too cute.”
Cee-cee grinned reluctantly. “I’m glad you can find something to laugh about right now, even if it’s at my expense.”
“Oh, Cee-cee,” Stephanie’s voice was soft, the laughter had drained away now. “Sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying. My emotions are all over the place right now.” She lowered herself gingerly to the floor and sat leaning against the wall, with her knees pulled up to her chest like a child. “It feels like everything is just unraveling, and it’s all I can do to hold myself together.”
Cee-cee joined her sister on the floor, scooting close so that their shoulders were touching. She sat quietly, holding space for the pain she and Stephanie were both feeling. A few minutes ticked by, before she whispered, “Let’s get this over with.”
Joints creaking in protest, they clambered stiffly to their feet, grumbling about their age showing and how they were too old to be sitting on the hard ground. They sent one batch of cupcakes up in the dumbwaiter, and then each grabbed a tray. Then, they headed up the stairs. After loading the cakes into the display case, and a quick chat with Pete to make sure he was good to mind the store alone, they grabbed their jackets and headed out.
The two sisters walked in step down the sidewalk toward Mo’s. They had decided to go to the diner between the lunch and dinner shift when they had the least chance for interruption. Their impending conversation with Nikki—assuming she would even talk to them—was not one that needed an audience.
Cee-cee and Stephanie were silent as they walked, each lost in her own thoughts. Cee-cee gripped her jacket more tightly against the autumn chill as a cold breeze whipped across her face and tousled her hair. Despite the cold, the diner appeared more quickly than she would have liked. Although she was normally glad that Mo’s was such a short walk from her own shop, she wished now that it was miles away.
Shooting her sister one last look of reassurance, Stephanie pulled open the door and held it for Cee-cee.
“We’re here, Cee-cee. We can’t turn back now.”
Eva was standing behind the counter poring over receipts, but she looked up as the bell on the door tinkled. She smiled when she saw Cee-cee and Stephanie, and called out cheerfully, “Hello, girlies, what can I do for you?”
“Hey, Eva, we were actually hoping to talk to Nikki,” Cee-cee said.
Eva raised an eyebrow in question, but said jokingly, “And here I thought you just wanted to see little ol’ me.”
“Oh hush, you know we always love to see you!” Cee-cee said with a stiff-sounding chuckle.
“We just wanted to get her recipe for that delicious asparagus dish from Anna’s dinner,” Stephanie chimed in.
“I told you she’s a magician in the kitchen.” Eva nodded understandingly. “I’ll go get her for you.”
Cee-cee breathed a sigh of relief as Eva disappeared into the kitchen in search of Nikki. It didn�
��t seem as though Eva thought anything of their request, and she wanted to keep it that way.
A moment later, Eva reappeared from the swinging kitchen doors, followed by Nikki.
“As much as I would love to stay and chat with you girls, I actually need to run some errands. The bathroom sink is clogged, and I’ve got to grab some Drano for it. If it’s not one thing, it’s another,” she rolled her eyes. “Nikki, can you hold down the fort for me? I shouldn’t be gone too long.”
Barely waiting for Nikki’s nod of acquiescence, Eva was already heading for the front door.
“See you later, girls,” she called over her shoulder as she bustled out, leaving Cee-cee, Stephanie, and Nikki alone.
For a moment, the three of them stared silently at each other. Nikki’s eyes shifted apprehensively between Steph and Cee-cee.
Those eyes. How had I not seen it before? she wondered again. It was like looking at a younger Anna. A very anxious, younger Anna.
Like a band-aid, Cee-cee thought. Just ask her.
She opened her mouth to ask the fateful question, but stopped when she heard Steph’s strangled whisper.
“We came here to ask if you’re our sister…but now that I see you up close, I don’t think I even need to ask. It’s true, isn’t it?”
Nikki’s hand clenched on the counter as she stared silently back, biting her lip. Cee-cee’s mind screamed at her to deny it, putting an end to their fears, but Nikki’s silence was the final nail in the coffin.
Waves of emotion flooded over Cee-cee. Had her mother known about her father’s infidelity? Cee-cee knew all too well the pain of that betrayal. When Nate had cheated on her it had hurt her so deeply she’d thought she would never recover. Although she loved Pop, she felt a surge of anger at inflicting the same pain on her mother that Cee-cee herself had felt from Nate.
Wiping her hands on her apron, Nikki sank down onto a stool behind the counter, as if her legs could no longer hold her. She took a shaky breath and then shook her head. “N-not exactly, no.”
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