She didn’t feel brave. She felt small and broken.
A touch on her shoulder had her turning toward her husband, whose face was bone white.
“Sasha, I had no idea it was that bad. I knew you left your aunt’s right after high school, but I didn’t know she made you leave. God, that’s awful…” he trailed off, his voice pained.
Sasha ached to reach for his hand, but she was one false move from shattering and she couldn’t handle him rejecting her yet again. She settled for moving just a fraction of an inch closer to him.
“I try not to focus on the past,” she responded softly.
Leslie now spoke. “Sometimes, we have to look back so we can move forward. It’s part of healing. I find that it can be helpful to take a moment after rehashing a painful time, to recall a memory that brings joy. Before we continue working through your side of this story, Gabe, why don’t you each tell me your favorite memory together. Don’t think about it, just respond,” she said. “Gabe, what is yours?”
For a nauseating second, Sasha was afraid he wouldn’t reply at all, but he spoke up almost instantly.
“Early on when Sasha and I had first started going out on dates, we went out to dinner. I’m allergic to almonds, and I didn’t realize there were almonds in the salad. I broke out in hives and started swelling and I looked awful. She rushed me to the hospital and sat with me while the doctors treated me. I was worried the night had been so much drama that she wouldn’t want to go out with me again, but later she told me that it made her like me even more, because she knew I would never steal her secret stash of Almond Joys. I knew from that moment she was a keeper.”
Sasha’s heart melted, and she smiled. “I remember that. I was so glad you were okay, but when it was over, I figured you’d forever link me to a very scary and uncomfortable evening. When you called me again after that night, I knew you must’ve really liked me.”
“Which is a very good segue back to the present,” Leslie said. “Gabe, I asked Sasha why she lied, now I want to know how it made you feel when you found out the truth?”
The small smile at remembering their happy memory faded as Gabe considered the question.
Sasha’s stomach clenched. They’d talked about it a few times, but the conversations were always short.
And they always hurt.
“I felt betrayed that she kept such a huge secret from me, that she had deceived me so easily. And all I could wonder was, what else she could be lying about?” He paused for a moment, clenching his jaw, and then continued. “I have a hard time with deception. I’ve never told anyone this, because I have some feelings of guilt that I grapple with myself, but I think it’s time to let it out. When I was younger, I was pretty sure my dad was cheating on my mother. I didn’t see anything specific, but I caught him in several lies that he asked me to keep between us, and I saw some strangely familiar touches between him and one of his co-workers once. I resented him for it, but I never told my mom. I guess I rationalized it at the time. Like maybe I was reading too much into things, or maybe she already knew and chose to stay anyway.” He cleared his throat and settled back against the seat. “He left her for another woman after thirty years of marriage. She’s happy now, but it was brutal. I wonder if I could’ve saved her from that…”
Sasha stared at him, stunned. How heartbreaking for him to see his father violate his mother’s trust. No wonder her lie, which would have hurt anyone, had troubled him so deeply. So deeply that he had barely been able to touch her or look at her since his discovery. Maybe it felt like a sign that his marriage was doomed to the same kinds of deceit that had so broken his own parents. Her heart clenched, and a lump lodged in her throat.
“I hope you know that it wasn’t your fault. As children, we aren’t equipped to handle that type of information, and every choice feels like a betrayal. Your father was wrong to ask you to lie for him.”
Gabe nodded and shrugged. “I know that rationally, but sometimes it still gets to me. And it definitely colored my perception of Sasha’s deception. Aside from all that, though, I guess I also felt really sad and hurt that she thought I would leave her and our baby. A baby that we both had a hand in creating. Is that the man she thinks I am?”
Leslie turned to Sasha, who was fighting tears.
“No,” she croaked, shaking her head furiously. “I don’t even think I considered you…Gabe, the man I knew.” Now that she did, her reaction seemed silly. He’d never been anything but steadfast. She’d essentially punished him for the sins of others. “I just panicked and I couldn’t make myself say the words.”
For the next hour, they continued talking. And when it was over, Sasha was emotionally spent.
“Thank you both for sharing so freely,” Leslie said. “Each of you have endured traumatic and difficult things in your pasts, and both of you have shown a willingness to work on your marriage now just by being here and speaking honestly. So, let me ask you this…Gabe, do you still love your wife?”
Sasha waited, barely able to breathe. His voice was a hoarse whisper when he responded.
“Yes.”
The sincerity in his voice filled her with such relief that she realized she was shaking.
Leslie continued, “Do you trust her?”
This time when he answered, Gabe turned to look into Sasha’s eyes. “I don’t know, but I want to.”
“It’s wonderful that you both want to work at this.” Leslie smiled warmly at them. “I’m afraid our time is up for today, but before you leave, let me give you some homework. I want you to do something fun together to remind each other what you love about spending time together. Not a movie theater or in a crowd. Just you two. It’s going to take as long as it takes. In the meantime, you need to try to find some joy together. Will you do that?”
Sasha and Gabe looked at each other, then nodded in agreement. They made another appointment for the following week and then Leslie rose and opened the office door, ushering them back to the lobby.
Once they were alone, Sasha turned to Gabe, wishing she could hold him and comfort him. But they were both raw from what had happened, and she could only imagine that he needed a break from the heaviness of their session as much as she did.
“What do you think we should do together?”
“I think I might have an idea. I’ll have to make a call, though.”
Gabe pulled out his phone and dialed while Sasha waited. “It’s me. I have a favor to ask—I know Ian’s escape room is booked pretty solid, but do you think there’s any way he can squeeze in a session for Sasha and I?”
Sasha felt hope rising warmly from somewhere deep inside her. Gabe had come to therapy, they had talked openly about what had happened, and he had initiated an idea for them to spend time together. Not only that, he’d involved his sister in the process, letting her know in no uncertain terms that they were trying to work this out in earnest.
She watched him expectantly as he ended the call.
Gabe looked at her and half-smiled. “Max said she’ll call Ian, and she’s pretty sure that he’ll make it happen. I hope you like escape rooms.”
Sasha smiled and stepped towards him, relieved his sister had agreed to help them, and even happier Gabe wanted to spend time with her. “I’ve never been to one, but I’m sure I like it with you.”
He leaned in and brushed a lock of hair from her cheek and left his fingers there for the briefest moment too long before pulling away.
Progress.
For now, it was enough.
17
Cee-cee
Stephanie twirled her index finger through her hair, looking at the clock for the hundredth time. “I’m dreading this. Full on dreading.”
Cee-cee looked down to check her phone for any new texts, sighing as she saw none.
She was every bit as nervous as Stephanie, but they’d been sitting on the news for days and she was ready to get it done. Like a prisoner waiting in the dungeon for the executioner.
An irrati
onal bubble of laughter burst from her lips and she groaned.
“Geez almighty, where is she?” Cee-cee muttered. “I seriously think I’m going to pass out.”
“Everything’s going to work out. It’s going to take a little time, but you’ll see,” Ethan said, reentering the room and holding out a glass of wine with each hand. “Your sister is a tough cookie.”
The three of them had been waiting at Stephanie’s house since Anna had called a couple hours earlier. She and Beckett had arrived home from their trip, and she was going to take a shower and come by to bring the souvenirs she’d gotten.
Cee-cee was glad Ethan had stuck around for a while. He was clearly a great source of comfort for Steph. Even now, he sidled closer to her and she leaned into him and slipped her arm around his waist.
“Thanks,” Cee-cee replied, accepting a glass as Stephanie took the other. So far, her sister was still able to enjoy the occasional drink without it leading her back to the pills, which, today, felt like a lucky thing. Because right now, they both could use a little bit of calming down. “And he’s right, Steph. Maybe it’ll go better than we’ve been expecting.”
It was just lip service, though. She felt obligated to say that as the oldest sister, but she was every bit as stressed as Stephanie was. She knew Anna as well as she knew herself and there was simply no way that Anna was going to take the news well. No one would.
Stephanie didn’t reply, taking a sip of her wine instead. She set it on the table next to her and pressed closer to Ethan, who had moved to sit next to her on the couch.
“I know it’s difficult,” Ethan said softly, his arm around Stephanie’s shoulder, “but we’ll all be here to support her…all three of you, really. No matter what happens.”
“We’re about to tell Anna that we just found out that she was never actually related to our father. I can hardly imagine how she’s going to feel,” Stephanie said, raising a trembling hand to fix her mussed hair. “It’s going to kill her.”
He nodded. “I know, Steph. But you just have to keep reminding her, when she’s ready to hear it, that Pop loved her like he was her own. They were father and daughter in every way that mattered.”
“You’ve hit it right on the head, Ethan,” Cee-cee said with a curt nod. “I just hope she believes us.”
Steph leaned in to kiss him, and Cee-cee managed a little smile. Her sister had found great love on this earth, not once, but twice. If anyone deserved that, it was Stephanie.
Ding.
Cee-cee closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before looking down at her lit up cell phone. She could feel Stephanie’s gaze on her as she read.
Be there in five. Get ready for your gifts. You’re gonna love them!
“What’d she say?” Stephanie demanded. “Is she still coming?”
“She’ll be here in five,” Cee-cee explained, shooting back a quick okay in response.
“Okay, that’s my cue.” Ethan stood, urging Stephanie up with him and pulling her into a firm embrace. “You’ve got this, honey. Remember, this is the hardest part. It’ll only get easier after this.”
She nodded into his chest. “I know you’re right. We’ve got this.”
He smiled, pulling away slightly and bending down for a kiss. “I’m not going far so text me when she leaves and I’ll come right back.”
Stephanie nodded, frowning deeply. “See you in a bit.”
Ethan grabbed his jacket on the way out then opened the door, shooting Stephanie a final sympathetic glance.
“I love you,” he said, “and you’re going to handle this beautifully. The three of you are unbreakable. Remember that, no matter how it might seem today.”
She nodded. “I love you, too.”
Stephanie began fidgeting even more after Ethan left, fretfully picking non-existent lint off the couch cushions, her leg vibrating up and down. “So let’s run through it one last time.”
“I’ll handle the first part.” Cee-cee found herself repeating what had been said a dozen times in the past hour, but grateful for the distraction. “We’ll talk about her vacation, let her tell us all about it. And once she’s gotten it all out, I’ll find a lead-in to the topic. You just worry about what we’re going to say to her afterward. We’ve gone over a hundred different ways she might react and how to respond. So long as we lead with love and support, we can’t go wrong, right?”
At least, that was what Ethan and Mick had said.
God, she hoped they were right.
“There is good that can come out of this, too. We need to make sure she knows that nothing will change between us,” Cee-cee said. “She won’t be losing any sisters but she will be gaining some new family she didn’t know about.”
“That talk might be for another day,” Stephanie said with a wince. “I’ll be glad if she doesn’t storm out of here and hitch the next plane back to Hawaii.”
They both froze and turned toward the door as tires crunched over the gravel on the driveway outside.
“Be strong,” Cee-cee whispered, trying to project more confidence than she felt. “We’ve got this.”
The door swung open a breathless two minutes later.
“Hey!” Anna called, tumbling into the house, a gift bag in each hand. Her skin was a deep golden and her hair was streaked with blonde, kissed by the sun and surf. Her lips were tipped into an effervescent smile. In a word?
She looked blissful.
Cee-cee’s stomach roiled and her hands went clammy.
“How was your trip?” she managed, trying to make her voice sound as normal as possible. She and Steph made their way into the foyer toward Anna.
“It was awesome,” Anna said, backing away and putting up a hand as Cee-cee reached to embrace her. “Sunburn. Still ouchy.”
“Do you want me to pour you a glass of wine?” Stephanie asked, gesturing toward the kitchen. She sounded strained, but if their youngest sister noticed, she didn’t show it.
“Sure,” Anna said, grinning, “then you guys can open your gifts.”
They headed into the kitchen and poured Anna some wine as she launched into story after story about her trip.
“Oh! And you’re never going to believe what happened to me,” she continued, sharing a tale about a scary encounter with an eel she’d had while snorkeling.
As she chattered on, Cee-cee found it harder and harder to pay attention as the task at hand loomed. Her sister was in such a great mood after a much-needed getaway, and she would be the one to shatter it.
Lovely.
“That sounds scary,” she offered when Anna finally finished. Steph led the way back into the living room and she and Steph sat on the couch as Anna plopped onto an oversized chair.
“It was, but also really fun. Enough of that. Gift time, yes?”
Cee-cee nodded, accepting the bag as Anna held it out. She waited for Stephanie to do the same before pulling out the tissue paper to reveal… a coconut? She cocked her head, taking a second to process before realizing there were two, held together by a strip of leather.
“It’s a bra!” Anna laughed uproariously. “Hilarious, isn’t it? I got us all grass skirts, too. I figure we can wear them over our bathing suits for Fourth of July.”
Cee-cee forced out a stiff laugh. “So funny.” The words sounded hopelessly unconvincing, even to her ears.
Stephanie let out an equally awkward chuckle as she pulled an identical coconut bra out of her own bag and held it up to her chest.
Anna’s eyes narrowed a bit and she frowned. “Are you guys okay? You don’t have to wear them if you don’t want to. I just thought they were cute. I got you both a little something else, too.”
“I love it! Really, sorry, I’m just a little…off today,” Cee-cee said quickly, putting a hand to her forehead. She peered back into the bag to see a cellophane pouch full of dark chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. “Yum,” she said. “These look delicious.”
Stephanie met her gaze and they both set their bags o
n the coffee table. Neither of them had the energy for even a second more of this pretense.
It was time.
“Anna…there’s something serious we need to talk about,” Cee-cee said, pausing to take a long, fortifying sip of her wine.
Their sister’s hazel eyes went wide with concern. “Okay…what is it?” Her cheeks went pale. “Is someone dead?”
“No!” Cee-cee rushed on. “No, sorry for scaring you. But it is serious and I want you to take a second to brace yourself for a shock.”
Anna’s slender throat worked as she swallowed audibly, and then straightened her shoulders.
“Tell me.”
Cee-cee cleared her throat and let it rip. “A woman named Nikki came to town recently. The woman who sent the asparagus to your house with Eva before you left? She looked us up while you were gone, and turns out, she had something to tell us.” She spoke almost on autopilot, so separate from the words that she felt more like a spectator than the person saying them. It was a defense mechanism, to be sure, and one she was grateful for, because it allowed her to get through the first part without breaking down. “Mom cheated on Pop with her father, Eric Merrill, early in their marriage.” She opened her mouth to continue but Anna cut in instead.
“Nope. No way,” she said, shaking her head furiously. “She’d never do that, she-”
“She did do it,” Cee-cee insisted, determined to get it all out as quickly as possible, “and that’s not all.” She gulped, feeling tears burning her eyes as she said the words she’d been dreading since she’d learned the truth, “Mom got pregnant during the affair. She got pregnant…with you.”
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