“Yes, well, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately and I’ve decided I’m going to start reaching out to the people I care about more. And, whatever happened between us, I still care about her very much.”
“Whatever happened between us” was a pretty generous way to describe cheating on a spouse with the realtor and blowing up a marriage after thirty years, but Max managed to keep that thought to herself.
“I’m sure she’s really busy lately, with the franchising and all. You must be so proud of her for doing so well for herself. I know I am. Things must be going really well at the cupcake shop if she’s deciding to branch out.”
Max nodded, but the weird feeling inside just kept growing.
“What’s going on with you, Dad?” she demanded finally. “Are you sick or something?”
He shook his head and let out a bark of laughter. “No. I’m healthy as a horse. Geez, is it a crime to visit my favorite daughter or check on her mother’s well-being?”
It wasn’t, but it was starting to feel like one…
She was about to press him further when his cell phone rang.
He looked down at the screen and his eyes narrowed.
“Uh, sorry to cut our visit short. I have to take this call,” he said, standing abruptly. He pulled her into another hug and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. “Love you, honey. Keep in touch and let me know when Ian will be free next week.”
Max nodded, responding with a mechanical, “Love you, too,” which was about the furthest thing from what she was feeling at the moment. Because, whatever was going on with her father, she had a sinking feeling it had nothing to do with his love for his “favorite” and only daughter, or his concern about her mother’s well-being.
The door had just closed behind him when her own phone began to ring.
“Hey, Gabe, what’s up?” she chirped into the phone, pushing aside her apprehension.
“Call Mom and tell her I’m on my way to the hospital,” Gabe sputtered, his voice laced with panic. “Something is wrong with the baby.”
22
Sasha
She heard Gabe’s voice before she saw him.
“Sasha? Sasha Burrows? Can you tell me where she is?”
A few moments later, he rushed headlong into the room, eyes wild. The harsh fluorescent lighting of the hospital clearly illuminated his disheveled state, the lines of worry etched deeply into his chiseled face. He looked like an avenging angel.
A very scared avenging angel.
“Babe!” he gasped as he rushed to her side and took her hand. “Oh, thank God. Are you alright? Tell me what happened.”
“I’m okay. Shaken, for sure, but okay,” she managed. She was so relieved he was here, she wanted to weep. Instead, she bit her lip and gripped his hand tighter.
“Mr. Burrows, I’m Doctor Olivera. I’m the on-call obstetrician here at the hospital. Your wife’s doctor is away at a conference this week but has been apprised of the situation. I can promise, we’re taking good care of your family.”
Gabe nodded but his eyes remained glued on Sasha. “Are you in pain?” His Adam’s apple bobbed and he lifted his free hand toward her belly. “The baby?”
“I was in pain before, but now my back just aches a little.” She shot a glance toward the doctor, apprehension clutching at her chest. She still didn’t have the answer to the second question, and the wait was killing her.
“We were just about to listen to the baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor said with a calming smile as she stepped closer to the hospital bed where Sasha lay. She fitted a stethoscope into her ears and began moving the piece over Sasha’s belly slowly, trying different locations. Her narrow face was calm and her keen gaze serene as she worked. Her dark eyes lit up after a long, tense moment. “Ah, there it is.”
Sasha blew out a sigh as Gabe bent his head low.
“Thank God,” he whispered.
The tight knot in Sasha’s stomach loosened, but only slightly. She kept her eyes pinned on the doctor, waiting for more information.
Dr. Olivera continued, “The baby’s heartbeat sounds strong. Would you like to hear?” She pulled a second stethoscope from the pocket of her lab coat and extended it first to Sasha. A glance at her husband’s bone-white cheeks had her pressing the stethoscope into his hands. She noticed the slight tremor in his fingers as he fitted it into his ears.
Following Dr. Olivera’s direction, Gabe lowered the round piece to Sasha’s exposed belly and listened intently, his eyes closed in concentration. Sasha knew the moment he heard it, because he gasped and his eyes flew open.
“Wait…i-is it supposed to be that fast?” he stammered, a furrow of worry between his brows.
Dr. Olivera smiled. “Yes. That’s totally normal at this stage. It sounds really good to me.”
Gabe closed his eyes again to listen to their baby’s heartbeat a second time, his face transforming as wonder stole across his features, replacing the taut worry from a moment before. She’d gotten to hear their baby’s heartbeat at her last appointment and she knew just how he felt. Like witnessing a miracle in action.
He reached for Sasha’s hand again and threaded his fingers with hers. It was so natural…he was holding her hand the way he used to do before she’d messed up.
A moment later, Gabe opened his eyes and pulled the stethoscope out of his ears with his free hand. “It’s amazing,” he whispered, his eyes filled with tenderness.
Dr. Olivera, who had been watching patiently, now interjected.
“I’m fairly confident from my initial exam that everything is all right, but I’d like to do an ultrasound and get a good look at your little one.” She looked from Sasha to Gabe. “Is that alright with you?”
Gabe and Sasha didn’t need to be asked twice.
“That would be great,” Sasha said, speaking for both of them. “I trust your medical opinion, but I know I’ll feel even better if I got to actually see the baby.” Gabe squeezed her hand in agreement, nodding.
The doctor smiled. “I would feel the same way in your shoes.”
She turned to pull the ultrasound equipment closer and lifted a tube of gel off the small cart next to her. She squirted a liberal amount onto Sasha’s exposed belly, and Sasha was surprised to find that the gel had been warmed. She had been tensed in preparation for the cold shock.
Dr. Olivera noticed, and chuckled. “Warming the gel is just a nicer experience for the expecting mothers. Much better than the old days.”
“Thank you for that.” Sasha smiled up at Dr. Olivera as the doctor spread the gel all over Sasha’s belly. Normally she would feel self-conscious, but she felt completely safe in Dr. Olivera’s compassionate and non-judgmental care. Maybe part of the reason she felt so safe, she acknowledged to herself, was the fact that Gabe was still there. Still holding her hand. She was so grateful for his strong support, and the touch she had missed so much. She had felt his distance so keenly over the past few months.
As if his thoughts were linked to Sasha’s, Gabe looked down at her, staring into her eyes.
“I was so worried,” he said softly. “When Maryanne called me, I…” He broke off, the pain of the memory still fresh. “Are you sure you aren’t in pain?”
Sasha squeezed his hand, grateful for his presence and the questions that showed how much he had worried for her. “I think it was more just fear. I won’t lie, it was terrifying when it first happened, but Mick and Maryanne took good care of me. And Dr. Olivera has been amazing.” She cast a smile at the doctor. “Now that the shock is fading, I’m feeling better.”
Dr. Olivera began moving the wand around in the gel, eyes on the monitor beside the bed. Black and white images moved amorphously on the small screen, and though Gabe and Sasha watched the monitor with rapt concentration, she couldn’t make heads or tails of the images. The display, apparently, was not so cryptic for the doctor, who broke into a smile and nodded.
“There we go,” Dr. Olivera said, pleased. “Busy and looking very
robust, I might add.”
She pointed to the monitor and helped Gabe and Sasha to make sense of what they were seeing. “See that little bump coming out of the bigger circle? That’s the baby’s profile, and that’s the nose right there…Oh, and there she goes moving again! She’s a wiggly one!”
Sasha’s heart swelled and tears pooled in her eyes.
She was still staring at the image when Gabe’s grip tightened on hers.
“Wait…did you say ‘she’?”
Sasha blinked as she realized Gabe was right. The doctor had definitely said “she”.
“It’s a girl?”
Sasha and Gabe had both asked at the same time.
The doctor chuckled, a little sheepishly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to spill the beans! Oftentimes, a PA performs the ultrasounds, so I’m out of practice when it comes to being cagey. Were you planning to keep it a surprise?”
Sasha could barely speak around the lump in her throat. Mutely, she shook her head. She was having a baby girl. Their baby girl. She and Gabe had created a daughter…together.
Through her own tears, she could see that Gabe’s eyes were shining, as well. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. Swallowing and blinking hard, he gathered himself enough to say, “You didn’t ruin anything, Dr. Olivera. Thank you for taking such good care of my Sasha and our little girl.”
Sasha thought her heart would burst when he called her “my Sasha” and she leaned back against the pillows.
“I’m just recording a few measurements here, but it’s all looking really good,” Dr. Olivera said. A few moments later, she pulled the wand away and began cleaning the gel off Sasha’s abdomen.
“If bleeding becomes heavy, please don’t hesitate to come back in. But, in my professional opinion, there’s nothing to worry about right now. Cramping and spotting occasionally isn’t at all unusual during pregnancy. And with your uterus adjusting and ligaments stretching as your baby grows, sometimes an abrupt movement can trigger a sharp pain.” Gently swabbing off the last traces of gel, she helped Sasha lower her hospital gown to cover her stomach. She then stripped off her latex gloves and threw them into the designated waste bin, along with the cloths she’d used to clean the gel. She worked with a brisk and practiced efficiency, clearly in her element.
When she was done, she smiled again at Gabe and Sasha. “Sasha, I’ll speak to the nurses about getting you discharged and on your way. Keep me apprised of any issues, but, as I said, everything looks good to me. Out of an abundance of caution, I’m going to suggest Gabe call Doctor Anderson’s office tomorrow and make an appointment for next week, just to follow up.”
Gabe assured the doctor that he would, and both he and Sasha thanked her again. Dr. Olivera slipped quietly from the room toward the nurses’ station, clipboard in hand.
Gabe squeezed her hand gently one last time before releasing it, and Sasha felt a stab of disappointment. She watched him quietly as he pulled up the stiff hospital chair and drew it to the side of her bed. He settled himself close to her, and without speaking, reached for her hand once again, clasping it in both of his.
“Sasha, I…” Gabe’s voice broke the quiet between them. “When Maryanne called me and told me Mick was rushing you to the hospital, it felt like my world had imploded. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. The thought of something happening to you or the baby…” He trailed off, unable to continue for a moment.
Tentatively, not wanting to scare him away, but aching to comfort him, she reached out and smoothed his hair gently.
“We’re all right. We’re both all right.”
“Sasha, I love you,” he declared, eyes blazing. “I knew from the start that I didn’t want to lose you, but when I thought something had happened to you? It became even more clear to me that I have to find a way to move past this. I keep asking for time, but time isn’t promised to any of us. So I want you to know…I forgive you.”
She let out a strangled cry, but he pushed on.
“And I want you to forgive me, too. We both let our past color how we saw one another. But when I look at you, I know you aren’t like my father. I would trust you with my life, so I need to trust you with my heart again, too.”
“Oh, Gabe,” Sasha responded, her voice barely above a whisper, “I know I messed up. Big time. But I will never deceive you like that again, and I’m learning that I can trust you not to walk away from me when things get tough.”
“We can do this. I know we can. Just don’t give up on me.”
“Never,” Sasha promised. “Don’t you give up on me, either. I need you, and our little one needs you, too.” Guiding the hand that was still holding hers, she placed his on her belly, and he caressed it.
Exhaustion washed over her and she sunk more deeply against the pillow. The events of the past few hours had taken their toll, especially now that the adrenaline had faded. She closed her eyes against the fluorescent lights, and Gabe seemed to notice, because he rose to turn them off, so that only the soft light from the window illuminated the room.
“Rest while I call the family and Maryanne and let them know you and the baby are okay. You know how hospitals can be, it might be an hour or more before they get the discharge papers done. In the meantime, do you need something? Any water?” he asked.
“Come sit with me again for just another minute,” she said.
Sasha vowed to hold on to moments like these as they slowly rebuilt the trust they had lost. She never wanted to go through another scare like this again, but when the chips were down and life threw them a devastating curveball, she wanted only one person in her corner, and that was Gabe.
Together, they could face anything.
Sasha closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a baby girl with blue eyes, dark hair, and her daddy’s smile…
23
Cee-cee
“You want me to make you some tea?”
Cee-cee stared out the bay window of her apartment as Mick gently rubbed her shoulders. She turned to smile at him and shook her head.
“I think I’m okay, thank you.”
But she wasn’t. It had been a hell of a week, and yesterday had been especially awful. When Mick had called her on the way to the hospital, she’d been a total basket case.
“She’s all right now, so take a deep breath and focus on that,” Mick counseled softly. “Thinking about ‘what if” will only drive you crazy.”
“I know,” she replied, shuddering as she leaned forward and pressed her face into her hands. “God, Mick…things have been off between her and Gabe lately and I might’ve been a little chilly toward her at Beckett and Anna’s the last time I saw her. I’d have never forgiven myself for adding to her stress if she-”
“She didn’t,” Mick cut in, coming around to sit beside her on the couch. “She’s fine. Gabe’s fine. The baby is fine.”
She knew he was right. She’d been in the waiting room when they’d left the hospital last night, and she’d spoken to Gabe earlier that morning. Everything was good. Still, it was going to take a bit for her to truly believe it. “Maybe I’ll feel better once I see them in person again.”
The scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls, intended for Sasha, was thick in the air. She wasn’t sure what to do for them, but she needed to do something. When in doubt?
Bake.
Her phone buzzed and she snagged it from the coffee table. Her heart skittered when she saw the name displayed on the screen.
“Anna?”
With the exception of a few terse text replies, she hadn’t heard from her youngest sister since the day she and Stephanie told her about Nikki. Had she finally come to terms with what she’d learned?
If so, they had a lot to talk about.
“Hey, sister,” Anna said, her voice quiet and subdued, so unlike her usual tone. “I just wanted to apologize for storming out the other day. I still don’t want to meet up with… her or anything,” she continued in a rush, “but I shouldn’t have acted t
hat way toward you and Steph. It wasn’t my intention to kill the messenger, so to speak. I guess I was kind of in shock over it all. It’s taken me some time to untangle my feelings on the whole thing. Anyway, I’m sorry for taking it out on you. It wasn’t your fault and you guys handled it exactly right. There was no good way to deliver that kind of news.”
“It’s okay, Anna. I’m not angry and neither is Steph. We love you and knew you needed some time,” Cee-cee said, closing her eyes and leaning into Mick. As happy as she was her sister was reaching out, the pain was still very evident in her voice. This wasn’t going to be something that could be processed or fixed in a week.
“For right now, though, I’m more worried about what’s going on with Gabe and Sasha. Max texted me last night and has been keeping me posted, but I hadn’t heard from her this morning.”
“Actually, I’m heading over there to see them shortly and drop off some food. Do you want to go together?”
“Are you still feeling salty over the stuff between her and Gabe?” Anna asked.
“No,” Cee-cee said, pursing her lips. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I trust Gabe’s judgment. I also trust my own. She’s a sweet girl, and I feel like she must’ve had her reasons, whether I understand them or not. It’s between the two of them and I’m going to keep my nose out of it. So do you want me to pick you up? I was about to leave anyway.”
“Sure,” Anna replied, “see you in a few.”
Cee-cee ended the call and stood.
“That was Anna. I think it would be good if-”
“Say no more,” Mick murmured, nodding. “You go with your sister. I was only going to go to be your support if you needed me. I can bat cleanup here and make sure all the dishes are done and this place is spic and span when you get home. Sound good?”
Finding Forgiveness: A Bluebird Bay Novel Page 15