She bent low and hugged him tight, breathing in his musky smell as gratitude swelled inside her. He always knew the right thing to say and the best way to make her feel loved.
She would never take this for granted.
She stepped back and headed into the kitchen to wrap up the cinnamon rolls and a loaf of bread she’d made for Sasha. Then, she packed the pot of chowder she’d made into an airtight container.
She made the short trip to Anna’s and found her sister waiting at the door, clutching a large Tupperware container. Anna wiggled her fingers as she ambled down the walkway toward the car.
“Hey, sister,” she said with a wobbly grin, zipping her jacket up with her free hand and then opening the car door. “I brought soup.”
Anna still didn’t look like herself. Her skin looked wan despite the lingering suntan, and there was a haunted look in her eye that belied her cheerful tone. It made Cee-cee want to tell her to drop the charade and beg her to talk…really talk to her, but she tamped down the urge.
If she knew her sister at all, she knew one thing; Anna would talk when she was ready, and not a second sooner.
Cee-cee forced a chuckle and gestured to the container in the back seat. “Great minds think alike. What kind did you make?”
“Italian wedding. It’s Beckett’s recipe, and it actually came out delicious.”
“Clam chowder for me, so we’re good,” Cee-cee said with a nod. “One can never have enough soup. It’s autumn in Maine, after all.”
They spent the ten-minute drive to Gabe’s catching up on the past week. Anna told Cee-cee about some amazing new puffin pictures she’d managed to snap. Cee-cee told Anna about a three-year-old girl who had come into the shop with her mother and somehow managed to slip away for a moment and lock herself in the bathroom. She even got Anna to crack a real smile when she described what happened when they finally managed to break in using a paring knife.
Completely oblivious to their frantic attempts to get the door open and her mother’s fear she might ingest some sort of chemical while locked in, when the door finally swung open, they’d found little Bailey with her hands on her hips, wrapped from ankle to neck in toilet paper.
“Do you wike my dwess?” she’d demanded.
“Kids are hilarious,” Anna said, grinning in delight. “I can’t wait until Gabe and Sasha’s baby is a little bigger so they can get the full-on, fun Aunt Anna treatment. Between their little punkin’ and Teddy, I’ll be able to get my baby fix whenever I want.”
Her sister had gotten very close to Beckett’s grandson, Teddy, over the past year, and she’d treated him to the same love she’d shown Cee-cee and Stephanie’s kids growing up.
There was a point to be made there about family being what you make it, and how hearts expanded and welcomed newcomers—like Nikki—in all the time, but Cee-cee couldn’t bring herself to make it while Anna was smiling.
Patience, she reminded herself. She needs time.
By the time they got to Gabe and Sasha’s a short while later, Anna seemed slightly more at ease. She and Cee-cee stood side by side as Anna rapped on the door and Cee-cee balanced the loaf of bread on top of the tray buns in one hand, and the chowder in the other.
It swung open a moment later to reveal a pink-cheeked Sasha, who was dressed in pajama pants and a button down shirt that Cee-cee recognized as a favorite of Gabe’s.
The sight of her daughter-in-law looking hail and healthy instantly sent a wave of relief rolling through her.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Cee-cee said warmly, “we brought a few things over so you two won’t have to cook.”
“Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to do all that,” Sasha said, stepping backward and gesturing for them to come inside. The second they got through the door, Gabe stepped out of the hallway and appeared behind his wife, his arm slipping easily around her waist for a quick squeeze before he reached out towards them.
“Hey,” he said enthusiastically, “why don’t you let me carry some of that stuff for you?”
Cee-cee nodded thankfully, handing him the chowder and pulling him into a half embrace with her free hand. “Thanks for letting us come by. We won’t stay long, we just wanted to check on you both.”
“Happy to have you,” Gabe said, accepting the container of soup from Anna, as well, before moving away from the door. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen where we can sit?”
“Sure,” Cee-cee said, but she gently took Sasha’s arm as Gabe and Anna went ahead. “How do you feel today?”
“Back to normal. Besides the usual pregnancy stuff, at least.”
“I’m so happy to hear it,” Cee-cee said. “Sasha, I-” She broke off and wet her lips. “I’m so sorry about the way I behaved at dinner that night. What you and Gabe were going through was none of my business. I shouldn’t have even known about it, and I definitely shouldn’t have sat in judgment. I want you to know I wasn’t angry. I was just feeling protective and hurt for Gabe.”
She hadn’t planned to say it so directly but it seemed like the right thing to do in the moment.
“It’s okay,” Sasha said, smiling as she held out her arms and gave Cee-cee a hug. “You are his mother, after all. It’s normal to hurt when your kids hurt. Gabe and I are working through it and we are doing really good now. Let’s move on from here.” She pulled back and took Cee-cee’s hand. “Now come on. Those buns smell like heaven and I can’t wait to try one.”
Cee-cee walked side by side with Sasha to the kitchen.
They found Gabe tugging the tin foil covering off the cinnamon buns. Then, he pulled out a stool, taking a seat in front of the granite countertop where he’d laid the rest of the food.
She felt a rush of joy as Sasha pushed the seat next to him a few inches closer and sat down.
Something had changed between them. Just a couple weeks ago, there’d been an almost tangible distance between them. Now, though, the spark they’d had before the wedding seemed to have returned.
Forgiveness.
It was powerful magic. She tucked the thought away for later examination and turned to Sasha.
“Shall I get some plates?”
“Actually, now that I think about it, I think I’ll start with some chowder and have a bun for dessert,” Sasha said, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.
“Grandma Rose’s recipe?” Gabe asked with a fond smile as he gestured to the chowder.
“Of course.” Cee-cee nodded, pretending she didn’t notice Anna stiffen slightly at the mention of their mother’s name as she bustled around for bowls and spoons. Right now, it was about Gabe and Sasha.
The four of them chatted while the soup heated on the stove, filling the tiny kitchen with the wonderfully smoky, bacon-y smell of New England clam chowder.
“Wow,” Sasha said, leaning in to inspect her steaming bowl. “This is going to hit the spot.”
She dug in as Gabe turned to his mother. “Also, we probably should’ve led with this, but Sasha and I found out a little news while we were at the hospital, as well.”
Cee-cee’s heart leaped with excitement as his meaning dawned on her. “Well?” she demanded, leaning forward.
He turned to Sasha, nodding for her to break the news.
“It’s a girl.”
Cee-cee stood up from her stool and began to make her way around the island, joy bubbling away inside her like a fountain. “That’s fantastic! Oh my gosh, I’m going to be Grandma to a baby girl!” she cooed, reaching her arms out to pull the two of them into a hug.
Anna stepped back over, beaming. “I’m so happy for you guys!”
“We’ve already decided on a name,” Gabe added.
Cee-cee dabbed at her eye, feeling tears beginning to form as she remembered living through the same types of moments when she was pregnant with Gabe. It was almost unbelievable to her that the little boy she’d carried inside her for nine months had now grown old enough to experience the same joy. She nodded for them to continue, thanking God that he’d found the streng
th to forgive Sasha before letting the grudge ruin some of the best times of his life.
“Her name will be Grace,” Gabe said, his lip wavering as he said the name.
“Grace,” Cee-cee echoed softly, ignoring the stray tears that were beginning to slide down her cheeks. “Something we could all use a little more of, at times.”
It wasn’t lost on her that this wasn’t simply a sweet name for a child. It was a reminder—no, a celebration—of the forgiveness Sasha and Gabe had extended to each other in the name of love.
Anna smiled and squeezed Sasha’s shoulder. “I can’t wait to meet her,” she said.
Cee-cee locked eyes with her son for a long moment and then inhaled deeply.
It had been a tough week, to be sure, but today? Right now?
Things were just grand.
She stepped back and reached for her jacket. “Anyway, we just wanted to check in on you. I’m sure you’re still tired from that whole ordeal so Anna and I should probably head out.”
“Why don’t you stay a bit? We could make some tea or-,” Sasha started.
“We’ll get together later in the week, maybe, if you’re up to it. I’m sure you two could use a little more alone time,” Anna said, smiling fondly at the pair.
“Sit and enjoy your lunch. We’ll see ourselves out,” Cee-cee added.
The trip back to Anna’s house was quiet, each of the women lost in their own thoughts. It wasn’t until they pulled into the driveway that Cee-cee forced herself to speak.
“I love you. But you know we’re going to have to talk about it eventually, right?” she said. “Like…really talk about it?”
Anna exhaled, pulling her hand away from the door and turning back to her older sister. They locked eyes for a long moment.
“I’m not ready,” she said finally, “for any of it.”
Cee-cee unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to fully face her sister.
“I understand that. I truly do. But you aren’t the only one with feelings in this scenario, sis. Nikki has been thinking about this for two years. Her siblings told her not to come, she waited until Pop passed and now, she’s finally gotten to fulfill her wish to come and find you. She’s made a lot of sacrifices to do it, too. Don’t you think you should give her something in the way of a response? Even if it’s just telling her you’re not ready?” Cee-cee pleaded. “She’s a good soul, Anna, I really think you’d like-”
“Stop. Just stop.” Anna shook her head vigorously. “I hear what you’re saying, but that’s the thing of it, Cee-cee. She knew about me for a long time but I just found out about her. So I don’t share the same longing as she does. There wasn’t a hole in my life or the feeling that something was missing. I still haven’t gotten my head around Pop not being my biological father yet. Or Mom…God, I still can’t get over Mom…”
Anna’s throat worked as she turned to gaze sightlessly out the windshield.
“Mom did something terrible, and Pop forgave her. We’ll probably never know why she did what she did. That’s a hard pill to swallow. But make no mistake; Pop was your father,” Cee-cee insisted. “In every way that matters, at least.”
Anna’s face grew harder as she turned her gaze back to Cee-cee. “By that same logic, then Nikki isn’t my sister in any way that matters, either. I don’t owe her anything just because her dad and our mom decided to betray their spouses and sleep together. I don’t want to talk about it again, Cee-cee. I mean it.”
She pushed the car door open and slid halfway out before turning back, her face a mask of pain.
“Did it ever occur to you that, on top of allll the crap this revelation has dragged to the surface, there’s a whole other issue to grapple with?” she demanded. “I have other siblings, too. Siblings who apparently want nothing to do with me. Eric Merrill is still alive, Cee-cee. My biological father is still walking, breathing on this earth. If I pulled on this thread with Nikki, everything else unravels along with it. Did he ever think of me, or wonder if I was all right? Why didn’t he ever look for me?” She shook her head grimly. “No thanks. I’m going to do my level best to forget I ever heard about Nikki Merrill and go back to the way things were before. And I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me.”
She slammed the door and marched up the walkway, leaving Cee-cee to stare after her, an ache right in the center of her chest.
That hadn’t gone well.
That hadn’t gone well at all.
24
Sasha
Sasha rolled her fork in circles, wrapping up the remnants of the pasta and taking a last, delicious bite.
The rich Alfredo sauce and nutty parmesan had hit all the right notes and had fulfilled the cravings she’d been having. And since it was a birthday party, and she was eating for two, it was the perfect time to indulge. Surely she could squeeze in some celebratory dessert…
Gabe traced his fingers over her back from the chair beside her and she leaned toward him.
What a night. They’d all gathered at Mastriani’s Ristorante to celebrate Stephanie’s birthday. Ethan, Cee-cee, Mick, Anna and Beckett, Todd and Max and Ian…Even Stephanie’s daughter Sarah and her husband Oliver had made the trip from out of state. And her younger son, Jeff, had taken a long weekend off from his graduate studies to join them.
It was a real family affair, and so far, it was turning out to be a lot lovelier than the last she’d attended. They’d just finished a spectacular meal and Ian was entertaining them with escape room anecdotes.
“So they were running out of time and trying to think of any last ditch plans to get out, and the poor kid thought that the fire alarm was part of the room, so he pulls it. The alarm goes off, everyone in the other rooms comes running out,” he continued with a belly laugh. “I had to call the firehouse and tell him everything was all right, and get everyone back in the rooms. Needless to say, I put a big sign on the box saying ‘DO NOT TOUCH UNLESS ON FIRE’ for next time.”
Sasha joined the rest of the family in a laugh, her thoughts going back to her own experience at the escape room. So much had changed since that day. From the scare that’d sent her to the hospital to selecting a name for their child, the past few weeks had been a flurry of activity. The good kind. Best of all, though, her relationship with Gabe was stronger than ever.
She felt a tap tap tap in her belly and grabbed her husband’s hand.
“She’s kicking again! She must’ve liked the fettuccini,” Sasha whispered, pressing Gabe’s hand to her stomach.
His eyes widened in wonder like they had every time since Grace had started kicking hard enough for him to feel it the week before.
“She’s going to be strong, just like her mother,” he said softly.
“It’s been a big learning process,” Ian continued, unaware of their hushed conversation, “but I’ve had a lot of fun so far and I’m really excited to see it grow.”
Sasha smiled as she noticed how Max was looking at him. There was obvious love in her eyes as she watched proudly. The two of them would be moving in together soon, and Sasha was hard-pressed to think of a better match for her headstrong sister-in-law. Ian had come into her life at the perfect time, and was driven and bright, just like Max.
Her sister-in-law must’ve sensed her gaze and she turned to face her with a warm smile. Things had been so much better between the two of them, Sasha could only hope it would continue. Max had come to the house a few days after she’d been released from the hospital, bringing a massive teddy bear and picture books for the future baby, along with a well thought out and earnest apology. They’d even made plans to go to lunch sometime, once Sasha’s load at work and school slowed down. It was wonderful knowing she wasn’t putting Gabe in a weird spot where things would be awkward between them. It’d be even nicer if she’d found a friend…
“Wait, is my niece kicking?” Max demanded as she caught sight of Gabe’s hand on Sasha’s belly, eyes wide with excitement. “Can I feel?” she asked.
“Sure,” Sasha s
aid, chuckling. “I was going to invite you guys to check it out but didn’t want to interrupt Ian.”
Max stood and rushed over as Cee-cee, Anna and Stephanie got in line behind her.
Baby Grace didn’t disappoint as the women huddled around Sasha, each taking a turn to feel her rolling around and hamming it up in there.
She turned as her husband’s arm slipped around her shoulder. “Maybe she’ll be a gymnast,” he said with a grin.
The time before she’d thought she’d wanted a baby seemed so distant now and, now, it was almost all she could think about.
“That’s really neat,” Anna, who’d wound up last in line, murmured as she laid a gentle hand on Sasha’s tummy.
Sasha’s heart gave a squeeze as she really looked at Gabe’s aunt for the first time. In all the commotion and so many people, she hadn’t gotten a chance to really talk to her tonight, but she didn’t need words to know that things were still tough in Anna’s world right now. Purple smudges underscored tired eyes, and the pulsing energy she usually gave off was decidedly subdued. She looked like she hadn’t slept in a week…
While her own family situation made it difficult to relate to the other woman’s troubles—she’d never had a sibling, and if one showed up on her doorstep, she might expire from joy—she could imagine how difficult all this would be for someone who’d grown up in such a happy family to try and process. Judging by the way that literally no one had talked about it openly since Nikki had come to town, it seemed like Anna was keeping her feelings close to the vest, and it wasn’t Sasha’s way to pry.
“I hope you’ll let me take some pictures for you when she’s born,” Anna said with a soft smile.
“Oh, we would love that! I was going to ask, but didn’t want to impose.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Anna said, straightening and tucking a loose curl behind one ear.
Beckett came up behind her and slipped an arm around her waist.
“How about we go do that thing,” he murmured, waggling his eyebrows.
Sasha shot them a questioning look and Anna laughed and turned to glance at Stephanie, who was now busy chatting with Todd at the other end of the table.
Finding Forgiveness: A Bluebird Bay Novel Page 16