Scorch (Virtues & Lies Book 2)

by Alexandra Silva

  Brushing my fingertips on the shortened ends of my hair, I have a wobble on my decision. I don’t know what came over me, but sitting in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at myself…I couldn’t do it anymore.

  It was a stupid notion, thinking that cutting my hair would change what I saw staring back at me.

  I’m losing my mind to all this chaos, and I can’t get my emotions in check. I can’t get anything in check.

  My husband hates me.

  Our daughter is gone.

  His heart is broken.

  My world is on fire, and I have no idea how to extinguish it.

  There are too many lies to keep track of. Too many demons to exorcise. Too many sins to repent.

  “Oh shit, Bella…I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I swear, you look amazing.” Throwing the large box in her hands on the bed, Georgina races to me. Her arms wrap around me tight as she does her rocking thing. “Besides, change is good.”

  Pulling back, she squeezes my shoulders as she gives me the once over. Her lips pull up into a lopsided smile.

  “The dress is nice, but too much black. You need some colour. You love a red lip, why don’t you go with that tonight?”

  I turn to follow her to the vanity as she goes through my make-up bag.

  “Ta-dah!” Holding up my classic Chanel lipstick, she saunters over to me and puts it in my hand. “You know, maybe this change can be a fresh start. Maybe tonight is a good night to focus on the future?”

  I give her the best smile I can muster, because until all this is over…there is no future. I’m no fool either—I’m well aware that in the end, Christopher and I might not survive this. But then the blame will be on me, and he can carry on.

  “He still loves you, Arabella. He wouldn’t have his stupid lackies on patrol if he didn’t.”

  “Freddie’s not Christopher’s lackey. None of them are…we have our roles, and we stick to them.”

  Her sigh is matched with a roll of her eyes. I know she believes female empowerment is all about being an individual and standing on your own two feet. Not depending on anyone but yourself. But I feel empowered by being me. Or at least I used to. Being a wife and a mother…that empowered me. And I’m sure that Christopher thinks otherwise, but doing the right thing empowers me, even if it breaks my heart.

  If I can sacrifice what’s left of that part of me for him, I’ll live knowing that I did something great.

  “Why do you do it? Why do you let them decide your life?” She sits on the edge of the bed with her eyes wide on me, expecting an answer. Something that will make her understand the life I’ve chosen.

  “Just because you follow the path others pave for you, it doesn’t mean you’re letting them decide your life. I chose to marry Christopher, to support him in any way that’s needed.”

  “You’re so smart, Bella, and you’re one of the savviest people I know. You have so much charm and gumption. People naturally love you. Just think what you could do with all that! Don’t you have your own dream?”

  “Yes.” I don’t understand why she’s picked this moment to discuss this. My emotions are a frayed mess already; I don’t need to add to that. “I do.”

  “Then why are you following the crazy train?”

  “Because that crazy train is my dream, Georgie. I know you don’t understand. I don’t expect you to. But Christopher is my dream. He’s been my dream from the moment I set eyes on him. I’m not like you or mum. I don’t need to be in the spotlight to be great. My greatness is standing beside Christopher and helping him be the man he was born to be. My greatness is being a mother to his children.”

  Eyes misting over, she looks down at the ground. Maybe now she’ll understand.

  “The baby was my dream.” The words tumble from my lips before I can stop them. The tears in my eyes threatening to do the same as I walk to the vanity and find something to blot them with before they fall. “That little girl was our dream. Mine and Christopher’s.” And I failed to protect her.

  “You can have another baby. It won’t replace the one you lost, but…”

  “I don’t know if I can, or if I want to, Georgie. The thought of going through this all over again scares me. The thought that I might not be able to…”

  “Do you remember when I used to come home crying because they always picked someone else over me for the prima ballerina?” Standing up she looks at me, red-eyed and stoic. “You always told me to keep going. ‘You never give up on your dreams, Georgina. You just have to try harder and keep being you.’”

  I remember sitting with her in a cold bath because her feet were blistered and bleeding. I remember straightening her hair because her curls were too unruly to stay in the neat, uniform bun that all the other girls had.

  “Don’t give up. Keep going. Try. If it means so much to you…try.”

  I don’t bother explaining to her why this is nothing like her dancing career. Instead, I dab the red lipstick on and try and see the woman I pictured when I told the hairdresser to cut my hair off. If I could just see someone other than me, maybe then everything would be easier.

  Standing awkwardly by the bed, she rolls onto her toes in a tall stretch. “Anyway, this just came for you. It’s kind of heavy. I gave it the shake test, but whatever is in there didn’t make a peep.”

  The box isn’t anything special. Big, glossy white with my name scrawled across one of the corners. “Who’s it from?”

  “I don’t know. The courier wasn’t very vocal. He threw the box at me and left, didn’t even ask me to sign. Had a nice car though.”

  My chest squeezes so tight that my heart gets lodged in my throat and my stomach falls to my feet.

  “What car was it?”

  “One of those all-black chauffeur mobiles. Probably one of your husband’s not lackies.” She shrugs, her brow quirking with a snarky smile.

  “Probably.” I force a chuckle.

  “Could be from your secret lover…” Giving me the eye, she stands in the doorway with a stupid grin on her face. Fucking clueless. “No? Must be from Christopher, then.”

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I give her a stiff smile. “Who else?”

  Chapter 13

  Arabella

  This is a bad idea. I know it before I even attempt it. But Freddie is a big problem, and I don’t have the time to get into an argument I won’t win. Not with him. He makes everything impossible when he sets his mind on something. A wolf would sooner drop a bleeding carcass than he would relent.

  “Why do you want to sneak around him? Why would he care if you want to drive yourself to the dinner or not?” Georgina gives me another one of her assessing looks. “Why did you change?”

  “It was in the box.”

  “And?”

  “And the note said to wear it.” Narrowing her eyes on mine, she takes a step closer. Her fingertips trail over the heavily beaded bodice of the dress, the red crystals casting crimson tinged rainbows around us. “New beginnings, right?”

  My heart hasn’t moved from my throat. My chest is aching with its displacement.

  “I never had Christopher pegged as a bling king,” she muses, her fingers still perusing the detail. “It looks heavy. Your boobs look amazing though.” Looking down to the deep plunging V, her eyes bulge. “If his way of getting to the top is by killing off the competition…he’s onto a winner with this one. The old boys might keel over and drown in their own spunk.”

  “Seriously?” I take a step back from her fawning.

  “What? Have you seen yourself? The hair, the dress…wow, where is my sister gone?”

  “Can you distract Freddie or not? All you have to do is break a cup, scream, and he’ll go off on the hunt. I just need a couple of minutes. My Uber will be here in ten.”

  “This is a bad idea. He’s a fucking psycho.”

  “Oh come on, he’s not that bad.”

  Her disbelieving stare meets mine.

  Fuck, she’s not going to help me.

 
“I’m fucking crazy stupid for helping you. I don’t get why you can’t just tell Christopher you’ll meet him there and let Freddie take you. I really don’t want to be left here with him. There’s only so many creepy stares I can take.”

  “He’s not creepy. His social skills just need a little brushing up on.”

  “He was watching me eat. Like full on gawking at me. That’s fucking weird.”

  “Maybe he likes you.”

  She laughs at that. “I don’t think so. I don’t do psycho freak.”

  “Please?”

  Looking between me and the doorway, she shakes her head. “Ugh. You owe me. If I ever need a kidney, you better be the first to volunteer yours.”

  “Done.”

  “I mean it.”

  “I promise.”

  “God, did you just promise me your kidney so you can go surprise your husband? That’s kind of fucked up. Just saying.”

  “That’s what you wanted, right? So what’s the problem?”

  “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”

  I sit on the edge of the bed, the thigh-high slit of the satin skirt falling open around my legs as I slip my heels on and buckle the ankle strap.

  The black lace tops of my stockings peek from beneath the shiny red fabric. I have to swallow down the vision of blood-soaked tulle before I sputter my panic over the memory.

  “Give me five,” Georgina sighs, her quiet footfalls distancing as she walks out of the room.

  My whole body is so tense that it feels like I’m about break under my anxiety. I’ve been so careful. I have no idea how Tomasz found Georgina’s place, but it’s freaking me out.

  His note was a few lines of vague instructions. What to wear and where to go.

  Shitting myself doesn’t cut how I’m feeling.

  Picking up my clutch, I stand, shakily. These shoes weren’t exactly designed for stealth mode. Unless you’re one of those super-agile spies in a James Bond movie or something. They always seem to be able to work everything to their advantage. Right now, I feel like I’m leveraging on a disadvantage.

  Okay. I take a deep breath to steady myself as I add a darker red lipstick on top of the vibrant one I already have on. You got this. It’ll be fine.

  I’m barefaced lying to myself, but it’s too late to turn back. If he’s found Georgina, he must suspect something. Men like Tomasz don’t chase something unless they need to.

  Fuck.

  Taking the carpeted steps slowly, I pause in the shadow as a loud crash comes from the kitchen followed by Georgina’s bloodcurdling scream.

  I have to give it to her; her acting isn’t far off her dancing.

  Freddie rushes from the lounge, his long limbs a blur as he disappears into the kitchen.

  Not waiting to hear what exactly happens when he finds my sister and her purposeful clumsiness, I dash for the door.

  My hand grabs and twists on the doorknob, and as I yank it open, my body jars to stop. My shoulder pops with pain radiating all the way through my shoulder blades up to my neck.

  Shit!

  Even though I already know that the door is locked, I give it another firm twist and pull.

  “Going somewhere?” Freddie laughs from behind me. “Did you think I’d be that fucking gullible?”

  “Open the door.” I don’t bother looking at him. My heart is racing so fast that it’s choking me.

  “Get in the fucking lounge before I do something we’ll both regret, Arabella. I don’t have time for games.”

  “I thought games were your specialty?” Turning to face him, my eyes find Georgina’s.

  I’m sorry. She mouths her apology from the doorway of the lounge behind Freddie.

  It’s not her fault; I should’ve known that he would’ve seen through our plan. That’s the thing about monsters—they see you even when you think you’re hidden away.

  “You know—” Freddie takes a step closer to me. “—if you were my wife, I’d have you leashed and locked away.”

  His hand closes around the top of my arm as he yanks me closer to him before pushing me towards the lounge.

  “Freddie, you have no idea what will happen if I don’t go.” Locking my gaze with his, I try to convey the urgency coursing through me. “Tomasz knows where I am.”

  “Good.”

  His phone is out, and he’s furiously typing away.

  “What’s going on?” Georgina asks from beside me. “Don’t bullshit me because right now that kidney is fast becoming your head, Arabella.”

  Ignoring her, I take a step closer to Freddie. “Why do you care about what happens to me? You don’t even like me right now. Wouldn’t it be easier if you let me go to him, and then Christopher can move on?”

  “Shut up. Walk away.” Spinning me, he guides me into the lounge with his hand on my nape. Despite his demeanour, he’s gentle. “You’re going to break him beyond repair with your game, and when that happens…God help us all.”

  I shrug him off, standing in the middle of the room. Heart racing maniacally. Chest burning with my guilty breaths as he stares me out.

  It’s obvious he’s trying to work me out or what I’m doing. Pulling the wool over his eyes is impossible. Besides, he knows me. He knows everything I’ve ever done for Christopher.

  “Stop. You’re biting your nose off to spite your face. You think I’m the nutter, but Christopher doesn’t have limits. He doesn’t know the meaning of no or stop. You know that. It’s why he’s so good at what he does.”

  The silence envelops us all. Georgina’s glancing between us like we’re completely off our rockers.

  “It’s too late now.”

  “Fuck, Arabella, it’s never too late!” he bites at me with a snarl.

  “That’s a lie!” I throw back at him, my voice breaking with the raw, consuming pain that tears through my chest.

  “At least let me help you.”

  “What in the flying fuck is going on?” Coming closer to our stand-off, Georgina looks baffled.

  “Stay out of it!” Freddie barks at her, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer so that we’re only a couple of feet apart.

  “You might be able to talk to her like that, but you don’t raise your fucking voice at me. We aren’t buddies.”

  Everything happens in a blur of limbs and a grunt of breath. Freddie pounces with the agility of a wild cat, his hand clenching tightly around Georgie’s jaw as he backs her to one of the armchairs.

  “Sit the fuck down, Swan.”

  “Get off me.” Her muffled grit is filled with venom and spite.

  “Sit down and shut the hell up. Stay out of this before I show you what happens when I get played.” Pushing her down onto the seat, he takes a few measured steps back. His chest is heaving like he’s doing everything he can not to let loose. When he turns back to me, cracking his neck like this whole thing is giving him whiplash, his face is stony. “You need to tell me what you’ve done so we can fix it.”

  We both know the only way to fix any of this is with blood.

  “Let me go, Freddie.”

  “Are you fucking him?”

  Diverting my gaze to the floor, I spin on my heels, heading for the stairs. The emptiness was so much easier than the pain. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hide for long, but seeing Christopher and being this close to my life…it’s harder than I thought.

  “Don’t walk awa—”

  I look up as Freddie stops abruptly with a low curse. My breath congeals in my chest, and if I thought I was choking on my heartbeat before, I can’t rationalise what’s happening to me.

  It doesn’t matter that I have nothing to feel guilty of when it comes to my fidelity. The look that Christopher gives me is crushing.

  With the light from the hallway highlighting his silhouette, he looks too big for real life. His tall, lean frame makes it impossible to walk out of here without coming into contact with him.

  “Get out,” he orders.

  His eyes never leave mine
, but it’s obvious it’s not me he’s talking to. There’s a darkness in his face and demeanour that tells me this is going to end badly. Just like the voice that kept telling me sneaking out was a bad idea. But like before, I ignore it.

  Heading towards him with a straight face and my shoulders pulled as far back as they’ll go, I keep mentally screaming over the voice yelling inside me. Telling me to stop. Warning me not to prod the tiger.

  “You take one more step and I will not be held accountable for what happens to you.” The sharpness of his words is frosty and sharp. “Do not give me reason to fucking blow, Arabella.”

  Pausing beside me, Georgina wraps her arm around my shoulders. I know she’s being a good sister, but all her actions serve to do is shrink me right before my husband’s eyes.

  “Christoph—”

  “Shut up. Get out!” The step he takes into the room fills it to the brim with a heaviness I’ve never felt.

  I don’t know if it’s anger or disappointment. I don’t know if it’s the end. I imagine this is what it would feel like right before the world ends. Too much pressure. Too much heat. Too much weight. Not enough air. Not enough light.

  Fuck.

  Watching as Georgina leaves with Freddie at her back, I try to give myself a chance to gather my wits. He wants a fight. I feel it in the marrow of my bones.

  Shit.

  I don’t have it in me.

  The quiet is staggering. I don’t know what’s worse—this silence or the slew of angry words he’s grinding between his teeth. His jaw is so tight as he heaves every single one of his breaths.

  For every second we stand in front of one another like this, another flame licks up my insides. Another piece of my crushed heart crumples to my feet.

  Taking one step towards me, Christopher stops short of his toes touching mine.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he states. “You’re going to walk out of here and get into the car. Like the good little wife you vowed to be, you’re going to smile and charm every fucker that stops to talk to you. And you better fucking pray they don’t look too hard or too long, because I’m done being a fucking spectacle.”

  He stares me down. I hold it hard. Our breaths are quick and loud, and you couldn’t hack the air around us with jackhammer if you were the world’s strongest man.