Chasing the Moon

by B. A. Tortuga

He tried to laugh, but only grunted. “Halian. Please.”

  “Love you, bear. Always.” The words were weak, barely there, but they were there.

  “Come back. Please, come back to me. I love you.”

  “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  “You have to. Please, it hurts.” Not just physically.

  “I know. I love you.” Halian’s voice hiccupped, fading quickly.

  “No!” He said it out loud, and he shouted it in his mind.

  All he got back was echoes.

  8

  Halian sang, telling himself that soon the agony would end. He’d tried to turn back, to go to Nathan, but he’d fallen in the river already, had managed to crawl under an outcropping, but that was all.

  Now he waited and sang.

  All he had to do was sit there, right? Nathan was the strong one. Once Halian was gone, Nathan could find a new mate. A bear.

  Someone strong and amazing. Not someone who loved him more—that wasn’t possible—but someone who was worthy.

  He had heard Nathan calling to him, but then he’d gotten too tired to respond. He sucked in a breath, his world nothing but pain and the rushing of the river.

  Halian had no idea how long he waited, but he didn’t feel like he was losing his mind. He was just… so sad. Hurting. Lethargic.

  “I will watch over you. I swear. I will always be close.” He wanted Nathan to know.

  “Halian.” It was a roar. That of an injured bear.

  “I love you. I want to come home.”

  “Come to me, then. Please. Find me. Everyone is looking.”

  “I can’t. I… I’m dying, bear. I can’t get up. I messed up again.” Over and over, in fact.

  “Someone is coming. Howl, love. Try. For me.”

  He sucked in a breath, letting out a tiny little sound that he wasn’t sure anyone could hear.

  “Halian? Pup? That you?”

  He tried again, this cry louder.

  “Hold on! I’m coming.” He heard the voice, but he wasn’t sure who it was. He was crying out now like a pup calling out for food.

  Bare feet landed by his head, and then Liam scooped him up. “There you are. Silly wolf. I’m taking you home where you belong.”

  He tried to help, his legs swimming a little.

  “No, just hold still so we don’t slip.”

  Hold still. “Bear. He says hold still.”

  “He’s on the river bank with you. He might fall. Just let him bring you here.”

  “I’m sorry. I tried to save you.”

  “You can only save me by coming home.” The closer Liam took him to Nathan’s house, the stronger the words came.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you, kid. I was just talking. Tell your bear and everyone else I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’ll head out tonight.” Liam sighed. “It doesn’t matter, kid. Stay with Nathan. You’ll be fine.”

  He whined, not wanting Liam to do the same stupid thing he had and run off. This was his home, this canyon.

  “Shh. Give me two minutes and you’ll be there. Can’t you tell already?”

  He could. Halian could hear Nathan’s heartbeat.

  “Bear? Can you hear me?”

  “Halian!” He heard the grunting as Nathan tried to come to him.

  “There. There, you’re almost at his front door. I don’t want to see anyone. Mai or Ash will come take you inside. I’m sorry.” Liam lowered him so gently to the ground, avoiding sharp rocks. “Forgive me, pup. I’m not fit for society.”

  Then the mountain lion appeared, screamed once, and disappeared.

  He heard the pounding of feet, and Mai appeared in seconds. “Halian! Oh, thank the gods. Come on, honey.” Mai picked him up and rushed him the rest of the way to his bear.

  He started whining and crying as soon as he touched Nathan. “Sorry. So sorry. I was scared to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

  “Shh. You’re here. I love you. Shh.”

  “Forgive me. I’m so stupid. I wanted to save you.”

  “You will if you stay with me.” Nathan’s very human body wrapped around him. “I need you. Just you.”

  “Forgive me. I don’t want you to be broken because you chose a weak mate.”

  “I didn’t. I am going to beat you.” Nathan was laughing, the sound one of relief and joy.

  “I want what’s best for you. I love you, more than anything.”

  Nathan stroked his ears. “Then stay with me.”

  He had no idea if everyone else was still there, but the words were a declaration. They rang through Halian’s bones.

  Stay. He could do that.

  “Good. Oh, so tired.” Nathan leaned against him hard.

  He heard that. He cried softly, panting as his world spun.

  “Shh. Sleep now.”

  Halian thought maybe they were on the floor, but it didn’t matter. They were together.

  He was home.

  9

  Nathan waited for his head to stop pounding.

  Then he crawled into bed with Halian in his arms. There were notes on the kitchen table and a big pizza box that smelled lovely, but he wanted to hold his lover.

  Halian was scared and sad, and Nathan didn’t know what to do about it. He was going to figure it out, though. He knew Liam hadn’t meant anything by what he’d said and that poor Halian had panicked.

  Mai had explained the pack to him, and he’d seen the scars himself.

  He would help Halian see his own worth. Nathan believed that with his whole soul.

  Halian whined softly, eyes opening. “Bear?”

  “Shhh.” He stroked one ear. “We needed to get up off the floor.”

  “Are you mad at me? Can I stay?”

  “I’m not mad. I’m sad that you thought I would want you to go.” He held Halian close, wanting him to feel the truth through touch.

  “I didn’t! I thought you would be better off.”

  “I know. I love you, sweet. You’re my mate. How could I be better with you gone?”

  The answer he got was a rush of shame, guilt, and worry.

  “No.” He said it out loud. “No guilt. We’re here now, and we know better. We can do this together.”

  Those pretty eyes met his, so sad.

  “I need to talk with you, Halian. Man to man.”

  Halian closed his eyes, the air around them shimmering. The shift took longer than the others he’d seen Halian accomplish, but then he was there.

  “Forgive me?” Halian’s eyes glistened with tears.

  “Of course, sweet. Anything.” He would too. Thing was, he had to stop it happening again. “I need to know why you ran.”

  “He said you’d be insane because of me.”

  “Liam was just being Liam.” He rubbed noses with his mate. “He’s a grumpy cat.”

  “He saved me. He found me and brought me home.” Halian sighed. “He was sorry.”

  “Of course he did. He’s not bad. Thoughtless. A worrywart. But good.” Nathan chuckled softly, shook his head. Liam meant no real harm. Liam needed to mate with his raven and stop being frightened. “When I see him next, I’ll hug him and we’ll be well. You though, I need to know your worries. All of them.”

  “But they said if I mated, it would be bad.”

  “They who?” Now they were getting somewhere. Halian had to mean his former pack.

  “The pack. They said I wasn’t allowed to mate.”

  “It’s not as if we’re going to have babies, either one of us.”

  “No. No, that doesn’t work that way, bear.”

  “Right. I imagine that was what they were worried about.” That and the pack hadn’t wanted Halian to have support. “But you’re not there now.”

  “No. No, but you think it will be okay? You and me? It feels… good.”

  “I think it will be more than okay. We take it slow and make sure we’re ready before we try to spend much time apart.”

  “Are you angry? I wasn’t running from you, but for you.”
>
  “No, love. I’m not mad.” Sad for Halian. Determined to make it better.

  Halian curled in, hiding from him. “I am.”

  “At me?” He blinked. Had he been mean? Nathan searched his memory.

  “No. At them—the pack.”

  “Oh.” That was utterly fair. “I am too. They mistreated my mate and some of my best friends so badly.”

  Halian looked up at him, eyes wet with tears. “I’m little and stupid, but I love you. I love you so much.”

  “You’re not stupid. You try hard to do the right thing, which makes you a hero in my book.” That was no lie. More people should be so caring.

  “I’ve never been anyone’s hero.”

  “Well, you’re mine now, sweet.” He chuckled. “Though you need a bath. You smell like wet wolf. And I smell like stress.”

  “I like baths. A lot.” Halian’s grin was tentative.

  “I do too. We should have one.” Nathan hugged Halian to him again.

  Halian relaxed into him, humming low. “Okay. I can.”

  “Good.” Lifting his lover, Nathan rolled off the bed. Maybe someday he would let Halian out of range of his touch again but not right now.

  Right now he needed his little wolf, right with him, skin to skin. He held Halian with one arm while he turned on water. Halian nuzzled into him, rumbling deep in his chest.

  The steam came out almost right away, and he drew Halian with him into the big shower. Oh, that was nice, releasing his muscles.

  He felt his little wolf begin to shake, his lover overwhelmed and clinging.

  “Shhh. It’s okay now. It is.” He knew they would be fine. Nathan just needed Halian to believe it.

  “I’m so sorry. I am. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I know, sweet. I know that. We have to trust what we have. Trust each other.” He stroked Halian’s skin, washing gently.

  How mad could he be? This sweet lover was so sorry, so scared, and so hurt.

  No, now was for healing and loving, not scolding.

  His little wolf would learn about how important he was, how much Nathan loved him.

  He kissed Halian’s neck, loving on that bare skin with his hands.

  “I love you. I will take care of you forever. I swear.”

  He nodded. “Yes. Always. I love you too, mate.”

  “I’m going to try and be good enough for you.” Halian nuzzled his chest and reached for the soap.

  “Then we’ll be perfect.” Nathan had no idea what else to say. Halian would realize sometime soon that they both needed to work on their relationship. He had to keep helping Halian understand his worth.

  “We will. Together.” Halian whispered in his ear. “Can I be happy now, that we’re together?”

  “Yes, sweet. Yes you can.” They both could. He would never be wistful for what his friends had. Nathan had found his other half.

  “Good.” “Good, bear. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” They had so much to learn about each other, so much to do together.

  Nathan couldn’t wait.

  10

  Halian cleaned every inch of Nathan’s house, scrubbing and straightening like a mad thing as his bear slept.

  He couldn’t rest. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop. He wanted more than anything to make Nathan proud. His skin itched, and he wanted to go touch his bear, but he needed to do this, to atone for leaving. For being so dumb. Halian knew he had a lot to make up for.

  He headed into the bedroom, just to stare a minute, to look at his bear with love. Nathan was sprawled on the huge bed, naked, that tight but somehow broad butt sticking up a little. Nathan was big all over. That beloved face was buried in the pillow, and Nathan was snoring.

  My beautiful bear. He could cry with the huge weight of emotion that flooded him.

  “Mmmph.” Nathan rolled to his back, one hand flinging out toward him. Oh, so pretty. Flat belly, heavy cock….

  He took a step forward, eyes fascinated by the sight. Then he tripped over the rug under the bed and went crashing onto the mattress.

  “Ooph.” Nathan sat up, flailing, almost tossing him off on the floor.

  “Sorry!” He scrambled up off the bed. “I tripped.”

  “Oh. Well, come here and kiss me.” Nathan held out that big hand.

  He took it, because he had to. He craved the touch. When their fingers met, his itch backed right off. He wanted to crawl in the bed and rub, make them both feel better.

  “Bear.” He sighed the word out because it felt so good.

  “Mmm. Where did you go?”

  “I was here. Cleaning up. Making it nice.”

  “You make it nice by being here.” Nathan hugged him close, which his bear was so good at.

  He hummed softly, the whole world going fuzzy around the edges.

  “There. Kiss me, sweet.”

  That was an easy request really, because it was what his entire soul wanted to do. He pushed in and brought their lips together.

  So wonderful. There was nothing better than touching his bear.

  “So why do you spend so much time doing other things?” Nathan asked.

  “Other things?” He took another kiss and another.

  “Yes.” Nathan sat back enough to look at him. “You’re always somewhere else. Cleaning or doing anything but being with me.”

  “I want to—” Be with you. “So much.”

  “Then be with me, love. Trust that you’re enough. Just you.” Nathan put one big hand over Halian’s heart.

  He closed his eyes and focused on that hand—the fingers, the heat of Nathan’s palm. Nathan was his everything, and that touch sent warmth flooding through him.

  “There. There, pup. You feel me, don’t you?”

  “I do. Oh, I do.” Halian melted a little. “I feel you everywhere. I do.”

  “This is what’s important, sweet. Not how clean the house is.” Nathan held him there, his heartbeat thudding against that hard palm.

  His body tightened, his balls drawing up. He wanted to feel Nathan deep inside him, filling him, spreading him wide.

  “Do you, sweet? Do you want me in you?” Nathan stroked his chest, then his belly.

  “Do you still want to? I didn’t want to ask.” He didn’t want Nathan to say no.

  “Halian. We’re mates. I will always want you.” Nathan stared into his eyes. “Why won’t you believe in me?”

  “I do!” He started shivering. “I want you. I want to be with you. I don’t want to ask you for things you don’t want!”

  “But we’re together. Partners.” Nathan kissed him then, soothing. “We ask for what we want, and if we want something different, we tell each other. I’m not part of that pack.”

  “No. No, we’re our own pack. Our very own.” Their very own wee little pack of two. Like Maicoh and Ashkii. Packs of two.

  “Yes, exactly.” Nathan’s smile was like dawn breaking. “We’ll make our own rules.”

  “Our own rules. Yes. I’d like to make a rule about loving each other. I’d like to touch you. A lot.”

  “I like that as well. I want you to tell me when you feel unsure. No matter what your worry.” Nathan wiggled against him, which let him feel the hard ridge of Nathan’s cock rising for him.

  “I want to be so good for you, right for you.” He groaned and arched toward the solid strength of his bear.

  “You are. You’re amazing.” Nathan grabbed his ass and squeezed hard. “You’re mine, little wolf. I want you.”

  “I am yours. I’m going to be yours now, forever.”

  “Come here.” Nathan lay back, pulling him atop that big, gorgeous body.

  The sudden motion made him laugh, and he straddled his bear, snuggling right in.

  “That’s good, sweet. You feel amazing.” That cock rubbed up against his belly.

  “Yes.” That was the truth. He felt… real.

  “I love how you rub against me, how you need me.” Nathan slipped a finger along his cra
ck.

  “I crave you.” He spread wider, giving Nathan everything.

  “Mm-hmm.” Nathan opened him up, the finger dry, scratching a bit.

  He hummed, licking his lips like that would wet him.

  “You know I won’t hurt you, sweet. I’m just teasing you right now.”

  “I’m not worried. Eager. Happy. Horny. Not worried.”

  “Good.” Nathan chuckled. “I need to believe you too, huh? That you love all of me.”

  “Every inch.” He reached down and stroked his bear, base to tip.

  “Mmm.” Nathan arched up, all that muscle moving, big body arching.

  He groaned softly and stroked again. “That’s so pretty.”

  “Oh, sweet. Yes. Like that. Up and down.”

  Halian nodded and slid back, stroking steadily and lapping at the slit of his bear’s cock.

  Nathan wiggled and moaned, rising and falling, really letting him have everything he wanted. Nathan tasted like heaven, and he groaned, deep in his chest.

  “Turn around here, sweet, so I can use my mouth on you.”

  He blinked over. “You want to taste me?” He’d never had anyone ask him for that.

  “Yes. I want to taste you. And get you wet.” Nathan grinned, an adorably lecherous look.

  “Oh….” He whimpered softly and nodded, turning carefully, his cock aching with anticipation.

  Nathan grabbed his hips, and sure enough, licked at his cock, making him wiggle.

  He bent to Nathan’s prick, lapping at the tip. His bear. His mate. Nathan’s mouth closed around him, wet and hot and tight, and he cried out, his whole body alive.

  “Breathe, little wolf. In and out.”

  In and out. He could do that.

  He breathed in through his nose, and the spots cleared from in front of his eyes.

  “Better. Better, little wolf.” Nathan’s happiness was everywhere, filling him up, and he moaned, because the connection flowed through him, and he felt the pleasure everywhere.

  He sobbed with joy and bent back to his work, licking and playing with Nathan’s slit.

  Nathan touched him, stroking his hip, then his ass. He arched into the caresses, and he whimpered, his balls drawing up.

  Nathan tugged him, pushing and pulling until he let go of that thick, long cock. Nathan turned him then, tongue flicking at him, wetting his hole.