Comatose

by Graham Saunders

  ~o~

  Emily found Alexander looking out at the garden through the window, his reflection in the glass smiled back at her. Then she saw her own reflection there, for an instant the two images seemed to merge.

  "Alexander, I'm not sure why, but I feel that I need to be by the membrane today... I don't really know what it is, just a sixth sense... Maybe something I vaguely heard but didn't quite register."

  "That's OK moon goddess, do what you must. Does your sixth sense tell you what sort of thing to expect?"

  "No, it's just a vague feeling that something is about to happen, it's probably just my imagination."

  None of Emily's existence nor the relationship he had developed with the strange apparition made any sense to Alexander, this was just another example. The most amazing aspect was that it all felt quite normal to him now. Emily caressed his cheek with her hand, an action which neither of them could really feel but it made Alexander smile.

  "I'll be back in a while." She said softly with a hint of sadness as she slid from one part of her world to where she felt the need to be. At the membrane she strained to hear and pushed against the unyielding resistance. The mechanical sounds were still there unchanging but she could hear no voices yet.

  As evening fell, Suzanne made her routine visit to the hospital. Before going in see her daughter, she was called to a meeting. The sombre medical staff had finally decided to formally recommend that she allow Emily to die. The words, though she had expected them for so long, were no less easy to hear.

  "There is no need to make an immediate decision, but you should start to adjust your thinking to what we now feel is inevitable... The end for Emily will be gentle, there will be no distress for her, she will just fade peacefully away."

  The words were spoken with kindness and sympathy but they still cut deep. Suzanne's hopes for her daughter were finally dashed. There had never been anything Suzanne could do but wait for a miracle, and now the miracle would not come. The experts had given up and she must do the same. She felt defeated, everyone seemed to be pulling her in the same direction and she finally did not have the strength to resist.

  Suzanne went into Emily's room and looked at her daughter. Now that the halo had been removed she looked beautiful again, as if she were just sleeping and could be wakened by a touch or a soft word. As she spoke to her daughter the tears flowed down Suzanne's cheeks without embarrassment or any desire to hold them back.

  "Emily my darling, the day that you fell from your horse was the worst moment in my life. I feared the worst – that I was going to lose you but you seemed to be fighting to live and I held onto my hopes for such a long time. Emily you are the most precious thing in the world to me, but the doctors tell me the time has come when I have to say goodbye to you darling, my worst nightmare has come true. Let me read a little to you, let the words express my feelings."

  She picked up the much used book of poetry. There was a verse where, in the margin Emily had made some pencil notes. It seemed she loved the poem. For Suzanne, Shelly's poem about the Moon had little to do with Emily other than she seemed to love it but somehow its poignancy seemed to hold all the emotions that pulled at her heart, all that she felt about the sadness of the situation seemed crystallised in the few lines. She knew it would be the last poetry that she would ever read to her daughter.

  And like a lady, lean and pale

  Who totters forth, wrapp'd in a gauzy veil,

  Out of her chamber, led by the insane

  And feeble wanderings of her fading brain,

  The Moon arose up in the murky East

  A white and shapeless mass

  The few lines were all she could manage before her faltering voice broke into tears. She took her daughter's hand and held it tenderly against her cheek.

  "Darling, sleep tonight and tomorrow I will tell them that you are ready to sail away for a new harbour. Though it breaks my heart, you must make that journey on your own and leave me behind. My love will always be with you wherever you are." She kissed Emily's warm delicate hand and breathed in the still familiar scent of her daughter's pale skin. She watched her child's for some flicker of consciousness but there was nothing. Suzanne sniffed back the salty tears, placed the book of verse on the side table as if it were made of the most delicate gossamer and, unable to bear the situation any longer, ran from the room.

  Emily had heard everything that her mother had said and understood at last. Gripped by the emotional words of her mother which tore at her heart, finally she understood.