Felix

by Terry Bolryder

  He didn’t have to wait long.

  Only minutes after Harley had handed him his favorite drink, an appletini, he felt the presence of someone behind him.

  “Don’t say anything,” Diana said, sliding onto the stool next to him while Harley was busy helping Benny with another table’s drinks. He felt something sharp poking his side and smiled at how endearing it was that she thought something like that could hurt him. “Don’t draw any attention.”

  Felix turned on his stool to face her, pushing his glass her way. “It’s hard not to draw attention when you’re as beautiful as I am, darling. But I’ll try.”

  She snorted. “You’ve gotten even more silly since I’ve known you.”

  “A bit,” he admitted.

  “You really aren’t going to fight me, are you?” She sheathed her knife and slid it into her pocket, sighing in resignation.

  “Probably not,” Felix said. “I have a new job, after all.”

  She looked down at the drink. “I just don’t get it. You left the Tribunal to be here. At a dance club.” She took a sip of the appletini, grimacing before handing it back. “You had power and prestige. Why give it up?”

  Felix took it, sucking the rest down as her words burned inside him. “It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “I suppose nothing ever is.” Diana leaned forward on the bar, making her leather jacket crinkle. She looked different tonight than the other times she’d come to see him.

  With her cute, softly waved short hair and tight jeans, she looked too fashionable to be a ninja.

  So perhaps she really had just come to talk.

  She turned on her stool to look out at the dance floor. “So you hook up with people here?”

  Felix waved for another drink, catching it when Harley slid it down the bar. He handed it to Diana, and she stirred it with the toothpick inside it.

  “I guess I need a drink to hear the answer?”

  “I don’t hook up with patrons,” Felix said. “I just thought it would be rude not to buy you a drink after all these years.”

  She nodded hesitantly. “Thanks.”

  Felix sighed, resting his elbows on the bar behind him as he looked out at the dance floor. “The truth is stories of my promiscuity are greatly exaggerated. I love to flirt. Love to tease. Love to get people’s reactions. But it’s been a long time since I was with someone. A long time since I felt anything but numb.”

  She frowned at the glass in her hand. “If life with the Tribunal was so bad, why didn’t you just leave?”

  Felix’s eyes strayed to Tasha, who was currently on the floor with Lock, dancing in his arms. He felt a rare rush of love run through him as he looked at his sister.

  He felt disconnected from most people around him, but for the few people he did trust and care for, his love was nearly endless.

  Diana had been one of those people, and not being able to save her had nearly wrecked him.

  But how badly had he failed?

  “If you weren’t dead, where were you?” Felix asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

  She looked at him with dark eyes that didn’t sparkle like they used to. “Why does it matter anymore?”

  “Because you hate me, and I want to know if I deserve it. And I want to make it up to you and fix things if I can. I also want to kill whoever hurt you, if they’re still around, because—”

  “They aren’t,” she said flatly.

  “Well, that’s good.” He caught another drink from Harley and tossed it down. “But what about me? I hurt you. Still want to kill me?”

  Her expression softened slightly, lifting her lashes and making her look more like the girl he’d known. “I don’t know anymore. As always, things between us are… complicated.”

  “Well, you not stabbing me is definitely an improvement in our relationship,” he said. “So does it help knowing my life hasn’t been as glamorous as you thought? Or that I haven’t been fucking around as much as you thought I was?”

  “You can fuck whoever you want,” she said easily, but there was a stiffness in her voice as she took another sip of her drink.

  “Good to know,” Felix said. “But I’m afraid I only want to fuck one person. You see, I’m pretty insistent on getting what I want, and now that you—”

  “Now that you know I’m alive, it’s different?” She shook her head. “We had a chance to be together before all of this. You didn’t take it. Why now?”

  He gazed out at the dance floor, glazing over with pain as he thought of the bulk of his ruined life. “I’m free to do what I want now, without anyone else paying for it. I never thought that would happen.”

  “So why did you think I was dead?” She rested her hands on her thighs delicately.

  “Your pack was annihilated by another pack,” he said quietly. “I went to avenge them. You were nowhere to be found. They told me you were dead.”

  She sent him a sidelong glance. “Then what happened?”

  He motioned for another drink from Harley and sipped it, wishing he could forget that day.

  Standing in that clearing. Blood everywhere. Rage so hot he couldn’t feel anything but pain.

  So much loss. Realizing his attempt at leaving her to protect her had been useless.

  And so much helplessness. Not knowing what other choice he could have made with his little sister in danger.

  He stared at Diana, hunched and quiet, and wondered how he could ever explain.

  “I… may have gone a little wild,” he said quietly.

  Her mouth twisted to the side slightly. “So you did care about me a bit, after all.”

  “Of course I did,” he said fiercely. “What we had, did you think I would do that with anyone?”

  She nodded. “I think most people would assume so.”

  He shook his head. “No. I did what I had to in order to stay in line and protect those I loved. But you were the only one I wanted.”

  “I heard you’re bisexual.”

  “In teasing,” he said. “Because it’s easier to joke about. But the truth is I’m equally disinterested in both men and women because I was only ever interested in you.”

  “Then why didn’t I know this?”

  Because you died before I could explain it. I thought I would be able to visit you clandestinely since we couldn’t be openly together. I thought we would have more time.

  “So you planned to come back,” she said quietly.

  “I did. Not that it mattered.” He locked eyes with her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, since I would have wanted to be with all of my heart. But the truth is I can’t go back to that moment. I’m just glad you’re alive and the Tribunal has fallen and we have a second chance.” He reached out and put a hand over hers. “Because as much as you hate me, you can’t deny there is something between us.”

  “Romantic,” someone said, cutting into the conversation. Felix looked up to see Lock taking the stool at his side, Tasha nowhere to be seen.

  Diana stared at Lock like he had a tree growing out of his head, but he just smiled at her.

  “So you’re the one trying to kill Fifi? No, don’t get up. Listen, most of us wouldn’t blame you.”

  “And you are?” Diana asked warily.

  “This is Lock,” Felix said drily. “An old friend, and he’s married to my sister.”

  Diana nearly fell off her stool, and her eyes were wide as she composed herself. “You have a sister?”

  Felix nodded. “Over there by the DJ booth.”

  Diana’s eyes locked on Tasha, and her full lips parted slightly. “I see. She looks like you. Is she younger?”

  Felix nodded, his throat tight.

  “You care a lot about her,” Diana said carefully.

  “Yeah, he does,” Lock said, looking at his mate with smitten eyes. “He gave up most of his life for her.” He turned to Diana. “Did you know he was basically imprisoned by the Tribunal? Tasha and I saved him. He’d refused to leave before that
because they were holding her safety over his head as blackmail, but—”

  Felix hissed angrily and held up a hand to cut Lock off, but it was too late.

  Lock flushed, looking embarrassed, but slid off his stool with a half smile. “Maybe I should let you two discuss some things. Anyway, you’re welcome at the club, uh… What was your name?”

  “Diana,” she said, still looking thunderstruck.

  “Diana,” Lock said, putting out a hand for her to shake limply. “Nice to meet you.” Then with a wave, he disappeared back into the crowd.

  “Shame,” Felix said. “The two of you could have discussed your love for leather.”

  That made Diana smile finally. “I think it’s more for style than practicality in his case.”

  Felix ran his eyes over her curves, tightly encased by the jacket. “I’d say the same for you as well.”

  She pulled the jacket tighter around her. “No. It’s practical. I mean, you used to wear it, right?”

  He had when he was younger. Now he didn’t care what jacket he wore as long as his back holster fit inside it.

  Diana turned to Felix with an abashed look. “Is it true what he said?”

  Felix had no idea what to say to her. He’d never intended to tell her anything in order to gain her pity. He just wanted to make things up to her and move on.

  Perhaps this was a part of that.

  “It’s true.”

  She slammed a hand on the counter, and Felix was grateful that the noise of the club prevented anyone from looking their way. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? I assumed you liked your job.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You assumed I liked being an assassin?”

  “Not that, but I assumed you liked the benefits. You didn’t complain about it. Any more than I complained about doing my duty to my family.”

  “Family?” Felix scoffed. “Only a few members of the Tribunal could ever be called family, and they died or left within a few years of sending Tasha away.”

  “It must have been hard.”

  Felix felt a headache coming on and rubbed at his temple. “Yes, but I don’t see why we have to talk about it. Clearly, we’ve both suffered, but—”

  He was cut off by her hand on his face, forcing him to look at her.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were trapped?”

  Felix jerked away from her touch. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

  “It would have. I would have—”

  “Exactly,” Felix said sharply. “You would have gotten some odd idea that you needed to save me, and I just wanted you to move on and have a good life. I told the truth when I broke up with you. That you would never be safe with me. That if I left the Tribunal, we would never stop being hunted.”

  “It would have been worth it.”

  “No,” he said. “We can’t say that. We could both be dead now.”

  “Instead of irrevocably damaged,” she retorted.

  “Damage can be fixed. You’re here, aren’t you?”

  She didn’t answer him. Just stared at the wood grain of the bar like it held secrets.

  “Were you raped?” he asked sharply, speaking one of his worst fears. If that had happened because he wasn’t with her…

  “No,” she said. “Not raped.”

  “Sexually assaulted?”

  She shook her head. “No. Just experimented on.”

  He frowned, rage working through him, making him remember the assassin he’d been. “By whom?”

  She stood abruptly, hands trembling at her sides. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I can’t tell you more. It’s over, Felix. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I’m sorry that life hasn’t been kind. But you had a choice through all this, and I—”

  Felix got in her way, blocking her as she tried to shove past him to the back door. “Did I, though? Did I really? What do you know about my life?” He caught her gently by the shoulders. “We knew each other for a few short weeks. How could you think we would know everything?”

  “You claim that you knew you wanted me just from that time.”

  “I did, and I do. And I don’t have to know everything about you to know that we’re connected. I was young and not good with my own feelings, and I should have made a better plan or let you in on what I was thinking. If I could do it differently now, I would.”

  She tried to push past him, and he realized tears were glittering in her eyes. “I have to go. I can’t do this. It’s too late.”

  “It’s never too late,” Felix said harshly, pulling her into his arms for a kiss.

  As his lips crashed over hers, her arms went up around his neck, holding him tightly, winding around him just like they had in the past.

  Making him feel strong and good and needed.

  He kissed her deeply, swiping in with his tongue, letting it mingle voraciously against hers as his hands moved down to her waist, squeezing the softness there, feeling the strength beneath.

  She’d changed since he’d known her. She was even more magnificent.

  No matter how she’d come back to him, he would have felt the same.

  It was odd how so many years could just vanish and the right person could make all the pain and separation and loneliness go away.

  She could have been his happy ending if he hadn’t been born into the Tribunal. Maybe she could still be his happy ending now.

  She pulled back from him, gasping. “You have a room here?”

  He nodded, feeling short of breath himself. “How did you know?”

  She grinned. “Spy.”

  He laughed. “Want to go up there?”

  She hesitated, but he could tell by the spark in her eyes, the heat in her body, the scent in the air what her answer was going to be.

  “Yes. Just for tonight.”

  He took her hand and practically ran for the door to the stairs.

  Chapter 10

  She should stop him. She knew she should tell him no, pull her hand out of his tight grip and run away, rather than toward the door in front of them.

  But she couldn’t. She couldn’t change what was going to happen between them any more than she could change the other things that had happened in her life.

  And she didn’t want to.

  For once, she was just going to have what she wanted. Let thoughts of revenge and her mission settle and just have what her body had craved for so long.

  If she were honest, she understood his feelings. She understood longing for someone far harder than you ever thought you would when it was too late to do anything about those feelings.

  She had just experienced it as pain and loss in a different way than Felix had.

  She didn’t know what to make of what Lock had said. A small part of her heart had been relieved. It had only made her more bitter to think of Felix leaving her to suffer while he had wealth and happiness.

  She wasn’t glad that his life had been awful, but she was glad to know that there were reasons behind his decisions. That he had been trapped as well, not simply uncaring.

  It gave her heart hope she had no right to have. That perhaps he hadn’t betrayed her. That perhaps she could think he never hated her.

  Things her heart wanted to believe while her body was so insistent on more.

  Felix bent to sweep her into his arms when they reached the staircase, but she shook her head, stepping back.

  He stared, puzzled and tall and gorgeous, and she just ran in front of him, dragging him by the hand up the stairs to the door that presumably led to his room.

  He grinned and unlocked the door, not seeming to care who was in control as long as this was happening.

  He betrayed you, a voice that had sustained her with rage for years said to her heart.

  We don’t care. We just want him, her heart answered back.

  She shoved at his blazer as she kicked the door shut behind them, revealing his perfect, muscled arms.

  He’d always been beautiful. So beautiful that she couldn’t breathe
, couldn’t think of anything but having him.

  She let out a growl as she reached for his shirt, then let her claws come out slightly as she tore it in half, pulling it away from him.

  She shoved out with one hand, knocking him onto the king bed on the simple frame behind him.

  He looked up in shock, bare chested with perfect bulging square pecs and rippling abs dusted with blond hair.

  Two sharp lines dipped into his pants that led to…

  He reached for his belt buckle, undoing it with a smirk before unzipping his pants. “Since I’d rather you didn’t ruin all of my clothing…”

  She snarled as she jumped onto the bed with him, grasping at his pants and jerking them down, revealing tight black boxer briefs and hard, perfect thighs.

  Even his legs were beautiful.

  Her mouth watered as she straddled him, heart pounding, pussy wet for him, hands gripping his hard pecs.

  His eyes closed, and when they opened, they were feral, a shade of purple like a twilight storm over a turbulent ocean. His hand wrapped around her neck and fiercely brought her down, sealing his mouth over her lips.

  She kissed him as her hands ran over his muscles, memorizing him and seeing every way he was different.

  His hands shoved at her jacket, fumbling to undo the zipper so he could shove it off.

  She helped him, jerking her shirt over her head, then getting to work on her bra.

  It had barely slipped off her skin, leaving her topless, when he sat up, supporting her with a hand on her back as he came forward, putting his lips over her breast in a heated kiss.

  He sucked and laved, his hand playing at the edge of her jeans, flicking open the button before toying with the edge of her satin panties.

  “Yes,” she said, putting a hand over his to urge him down. “Give me everything. Make up for a lifetime of not loving me.”

  He let out a growl against her nipple, flicking it with his tongue before sucking it in against his teeth. “I need more than a night for that.” He moved to her other breast, his hand still teasing her at the top of her panties as his other stayed softly on her back. “I need a million lifetimes, and it’ll never be enough.”