Three Times Torn

by Felisha Antonette

“Why is Nathan going with you to the bathroom?”

  “He’s going to show me how to get there, considering I’ve only been over here a couple of times.” I flick my gaze to Mom, shooting her a cocky, smart-aleck smile.

  Her piercing scowl cuts me deep. She must’ve not told Dad what she’d found out this morning because my response is news to him. “Why don’t you have Taylor show you where the bathroom is?” he says.

  “I’m not Taylor’s company,” I retort.

  Nathan gently pulls us from the dining room before Dad can come up with some other absurd response.

  Leaving from the back door into the yard, we step into the warm night air. Nathan pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around my neck. I ram my forehead against his chest, letting out an aggravated breath. His scent fills my nose and dazes my mind as he massages the back of my neck. It supports the effect his musk has on me. I release another sharp breath filled with the frustration of my father. Pacified, I lean back, meeting brown eyes. “Thank you.”

  “Of course.” He pulls me back to him, and I wrap my arms around his middle.

  The evening breeze pushes leaves, bark, and the smell of water in my nose. I breathe it in and exhale away the last of my annoyance.

  “You feeling better? We can go in and you not set the dining room on fire?” Nathan asks.

  “I wouldn’t say so.” I tilt my head back and see the stars before focusing on him. “You know. I really appreciate you.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I reach around his neck, pulling him down to me. “I love you, Nate.”

  He smiles. “I love you, Sparks.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  I bring him nearer to kiss me. I barely graze his lips with his restraint. “What?”

  He squeezes my sides, retracting. “Are you trying to get it outside?”

  I laugh a little, bringing him back. I just want more of this. I leave no room for spoken words as I steal my kiss. He breaks away again.

  “What?” I huff.

  He peeks down over my shoulder and pats my lower back. “Stop kissing me like that.”

  “Why?”

  Sliding his hands over my hips, they trace the curve of my butt, and he seizes it. “Because of these goddamn jeans,” he utters through his teeth. “I can’t think of nothing else. Just Sparks, jeans, ass, bag, now. It keeps replaying in my head, over and over since you walked in the room earlier.” He lets go, stepping away from me.

  I fist his shirt and yank him back. Taking his hands in mine, I allow them to find my butt as I kiss him in a way I know gets him going. “Nate, I’m pleased to see you’re as enwrapped in me as I am you.”

  “We’re about to travel down a long, dark road if you keep at it.”

  “Uh-huh,” I sing. His left hand surfs over my butt and reaches between my thighs, finding my middle. It grabs my butt and rubs against me at the same time. “Oh.” I grab his neck tight in my hands. He pushes me closer, and I lift onto my tiptoes, making his efforts easier. We pull and push at each other, feeling parts and extensions of one another we wouldn’t if we weren’t pasted together, standing in the backyard, being watched by the stars and moon. I’m so lost; I could care less if they see.

  “Tracey Warren!”

  Nathan and I wrench away from each other at the blaring sound of my name from Dad’s angered voice.

  Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Just damn it all to hell!

  I cross my arms and look to my left and right, finding me standing alone. Nathan walked away! Both hands shoved through his hair, heading in the opposite direction of Dad. Where the heck are you going? I ask.

  Give me a minute.

  For what? I ask, upset.

  Trying to think of a damn good explanation as to why it looked like I was just fucking his daughter in my backyard.

  “Excuse me, Tracey,” Dad snaps.

  Dragging my shocked gaze away from Nathan’s back, I face Dad standing there in all his angry glory. I, also, need a good excuse to get out of this one. I debate not answering, running away, or shooting my pet snake of fire out of my hand to change the subject completely. Bet that’d make him forget.

  “Tracey, explanation please!” he yells. His voice blasts through my ears. He’s never hollered at me, and I’m a bit baffled.

  Dad’s pissed me off today, and lying would be me taking it easy on him. Telling him the truth would light him on fire. “Yes, Dad?” I try to say nonchalantly.

  “What in the hell are you out here doing? This doesn’t look like the bathroom!” he gripes.

  “Dad, if I want to kiss my boyfriend, I can do that,” I say, throwing my pointed finger to my chest. “I didn’t mean to do it in front of you, but that happened. I just needed to get out of that dining room because”―I can’t help my voice raising an octave―“you want to bring up moving to Tennessee, knowing it would make me angry. Knowing I’m not moving. Knowing this wasn’t the time or the place for that conversation.”

  “Tracey, you need to watch your tone.”

  “No, Dad, you need to watch your tone.” Daggers nearly fly at me when he narrows his eyes. Step back, Tracey, going too far here, I check myself, watching Dad fold his arms across his chest. “Sorry, that was a bit much. But I’m being honest. That conversation shouldn’t have happened at that dinner table, and you know it.”

  “And that is supposed to explain why you’re out here in the yard with Nathan’s tongue down your throat while he’s groping you?!” he snaps in a singsong voice, hands moving about as he complains.

  “He wasn’t groping me,” I object shyly.

  “Then what do you call it?”

  “Doesn’t matter. He is my boyfriend. I can kiss him if I want and he can touch me if I want him to. That’s what couples do.”

  “No, it is not! And not my daughter who’s supposed to have more respect for herself. That was more than kissing.”

  I look down at myself, making sure I still have on all my clothes. “Last time I checked, you have to be naked to do more than kiss,” I sass.

  “Young lady!” he shouts enraged, charging toward me.

  I throw my hands out, hoping to stop him. “I’m sorry, Dad. Sorry. I’m a little upset. I shouldn’t have said that. That was disrespectful. I’m sorry.” I step back, knowing I need to stick my foot in my mouth. He’s still my father, and I’d be mad at me too if I walked out and saw what he did.

  He halts and scowls at me in a way that lets off I need a good excuse if I don’t want to be chopped down from my high horse.

  I breathe. “Dad, in there, you made me upset. I believe that that conversation wasn’t held at an appropriate time and not with the right people.” I shake my head not wanting to say, but I need to cover all bases. “We came out here, so I could get some air. Nathan’s like my rock, my confidant, helping me cope with things. And our talk got a little intimate,” I say in a disapproving tone. “We were only kissing even if it looked like more. It just got a little intense. Which wasn’t appropriate for the time,” I say, squeezing my eyes closed. Thinking about it makes his taste tease my mouth. I bite it back, hating this aspect of the bond. “But I’d be lying if I said it has never happened or that it’ll never happen again.”

  Nathan comes beside me.

  You get your shit together, I scoff, a little upset he walked away, leaving me to fend for myself.

  Hush. He clears his throat. “My apologies, Mr. Warren. That shouldn’t have happened.”

  “I agree.” Dad’s short. He turns his back on us, heading for the house. “We’ll be leaving shortly, Tracey. Be ready to go.”

  “I’ll just have—”

  Whipping around, he barks, “Be. Ready. To. Go.” His tone, commanding and indignant, startles me. He’s never spoken to me this way, no matter how angry I’ve made him. Turning back around, he walks into the house, closing the door.

  “Shit! Just shit,” I grump. “What is this?” I ask,
raising my hands in a way to surrender to the world. “National Catch Nathan and Tracey Day! Gah, Nate. What the hell has gotten into my dad? He’s so much better than he’s been.” I turn to the house, and Nathan grabs my wrist.

  “I’m going to be honest with you, Sparks. Your dad’s going to have to wait for that one-on-one.” Fingertips brush over my palm before his hand clasps mine. Pulling me nearer him, he says, “You can’t leave me like this.”

  Smiling, I confess, “I like this Nathan. Where has he been this entire time?”

  “Controlled, Sparks. Very controlled and extremely respectful.” He looks me over. “But you’re making that really hard tonight.” Pointing at me from my head to my feet, he says, “Maybe you should tone that down.”

  “You better stop talking to me like that. You’re trying to get something started.”

  He pulls me with him into the darkness on the other side of the house. “Un-uh. You already got something started. The moment you put that on.” He points to my outfit. “And curled this hair.” He leans against the wall, pulling me to him.

  “You’re going to get us in so much trouble, Nate.”

  His eyes swirl sandy-ocean blue, shining in the darkness. “Just give me a shot. I won’t drink the entire bottle.” He lifts me. I wrap my thighs around his waist and grab onto his shoulders. “Though, I really want to drink the entire thing . . . and lick the rim,” he utters with a husky rasp in his low voice.

  “Lick the rim, huh?” I already know where this is going to lead. Good now, bad later.

  “Yeah,” he answers too softly, leaning his head back against the brick wall of the house. I move my hands behind it to serve as a cushion.

  Staring into his lust-filled eyes, I kiss his parted mouth, my lips clasping onto his bottom, mildly grazing its smoothness with my tongue. Without separating, our lips stay planted as our tongues dance. A slow, warm waltz in the rain. I push my hand around his neck, squeezing it and then releasing, finding a wrath in a suite of tranquility.

  Nathan readjusts, and snakes his free hand up my back, touching me too softly. It glides past my neck through my hair and fists it. The pads of his fingertips and nails scrape over my scalp, and the counter reactions of his roughness and the effects of his ease drives me insane. I love when he does that. My fingers reflex with his shirt in my hand. I sail through our aggressive caresses. A soft moan escapes my throat against his mouth. The sound, a plea for more. I need more than a shot, feeling the heated trail his hand makes as it moves down my back, over my butt and kneads my sweetest spot.

  He twists us around. My back’s on the wall. His bodies shoved against mine. The aggression of our kiss hasn’t let up as we lick and suck at each other. He’s devouring my mouth, and I know I taste as good to him as he does to me.

  “Mmm. Sparks?” he groans against my mouth.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’ll let me give it you against this wall?” His hardness nudges me when I shift my hips. “See. It’s been like this all evening.”

  I giggle, knowing he’s joking. But. . . I take him seriously. “It’d be cool if you could vanish, like Olar, to your room.”

  “That’s a good idea.” He climbs the tree, and from the tree to the window of his room. We close it and quietly lock the door. And if but for a minute, we escape, we release, and we find a break of freedom in each other, putting a non-existing pause on the outside world.

  Nathan and I have been MIA for a little over fifteen minutes. Little Nathan and Taylor are outside calling for us. We clean up as quiet as we can, making it, so the water doesn’t run too loudly in the sink and the lights don’t show from the window. Nathan’s all over me. I’m all over him. I muffle my giggles in his shoulder, not wanting to give us away if someone’s upstairs. And he muffles his laughs in my neck.

  We leave from the window, landing in the darkness. Little Nathan comes around the corner of the house, spotting us as if we were lights.

  “What are you two doing over here and in the dark?” He pauses, throwing up a hand. “Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. Just come back. Tracey’s Dad is losing his shit.”

  Nathan laughs. “Come on. When you found us, we were coming from the trail, alright?”

  “Yeah, I got it,” Little Nathan responds, rounding the corner before us.

  Before we follow, I make sure are clothes look okay and fluff my hair. “Okay, we’re good. Let’s do this.”

  “I found them,” Little Nathan announces as we walk into the living room, where my parents, Natalia, Roseland, Scott, Glen, and Taylor have gathered. “They were walking the trail.”

  Dad stands, drawing all the attention to himself. “Is that what you were doing, Tracey?” he nags accusingly.

  I try to hold my smile and can’t. I feel it, growing, tightening my cheeks, displaying my teeth, pushing up my ears as it spreads wider and wider. I cross the living room to where he stands and wrap my arms around his lean waist. “I’m sorry about earlier, Dad.”

  You two were not walking a trail, Scott scoffs.

  I look around Dad to Scott and mouth, ‘Don’t, Scott. ’ I pull away, feeling Nathan come up behind me.

  “We are sorry, Mr. Warren,” he expresses in a kind, apologetic tone.

  “Why are you two sorry?” Mom asks, shifting her gaze between us.

  Not wanting her to mention anything extra, I hurry to say, “Dad walked out to Nathan and me kissing in the yard.”

  Dad whips around, awaiting Mom’s scold. Little does he know; Mom is on our side. At least, I hope she is. “Alright. I thought you were going to the bathroom,” she states rationally, unlike Dad.

  “Dear,” Dad enunciates as if she’s deceived him with her peace. “You’re not upset about this?” he asks too quickly and too loudly.

  “Should we have this conversation at home?” Mom doesn’t like arguing, and if she must, she never does so in front of other people.

  Dad’s shoulders lower as he deflates. “I’m sorry, dear. I’m interested in knowing your thoughts about this.”

  “James,” she starts calmly. “Tracey is eighteen, and he is her boyfriend. Do you expect them not to kiss? Not like you caught them in the bed together.”

  I tense.

  Dad sits back down, crossed, at the moment, by daughter and wife.

  “Dear,” Mom starts, “she is not a child, and we know she did not intend for you to see her partaking in those actions. However, you did, and for you to think that it would not happen would be insulting yourself. Calm down, dear; she’s growing up.”

  Whoohoo! Thanks, Mom!

  Dad looks at Nathan and me, then back at Mom. “You may be right. But I’m not ready for . . . that.” He shakes his head; I guess trying to forget the memory.

  “She’s right, Dad. I’m eighteen, like, adult age.”

  He stares. “Alright, Ladybug. Let’s go. We’ll finish talking at home.”

  I can work with that, but I’m not staying there tonight. “Okay, but Nathan’s coming to get me after.”

  “And what time do you plan on coming back?”

  Be a woman, Tracey. Step up to the plate and go in for the home run. “I don’t, tonight.” He throws.

  Dad’s eyes widen.—I swing.

  Mom seems to know where this was going, saying, “We’ll talk when we get home.”

  First base. At least he didn’t strike me out.

  Not yet, Nathan condescends. I punch him, catching everyone’s attention. “Sparky, it’s not nice to hit,” he jokes.

  My parents stand, and Mom kindly says, “It is very nice to meet you finally. Thank you for having us.”

  Natalia smiles. “It was our pleasure. I hope the opportunity occurs again in the near future.”

  “Oh.” Mom turns to Dad. “Before we go, Tracey has something she wants to show me.”

  “What would that be?” he responds sourly.

  She pats his chest. “We will be right back. Come on, Tracey.” She flicks her wrist, inviting me as if she knows
her way.

  I lead with Mom and Natalia on my heels. “I didn’t think you were serious, Mom,” I tell her, climbing the stairs to Nathan’s room.

  She ignores me, asking Natalia, “Have you known about Tracey and Nathan’s relationship since they started dating?”

  “I have. Some days after their meeting, Nathan mentioned her. We met not long after.”

  “You are . . . okay with their relationship?”

  “They’re moving a little quickly in my opinion, but I know their feelings are genuine and enduring.”

  “She is only a teenager. The three of you sound so sure about this. I expect that from them because they are young and in love. I mean no disrespect, however, I did not expect that from you.”

  “I can understand your concern and how this may be different for you. In our family, when we find or are found by our mates, there is no doubt. And for my son, I know this is tangible for him. I see it when he looks at Tracey, and she returns it. Nathan would turn the world upside down for her. I can’t deny what it is. Or prevent them from living through their relationship. I wouldn’t dare.”

  “Hmm. I know what you mean. James and I met and married very quickly afterward. We have been together since. I didn’t expect for Tracey to love so quickly and be so. . .” She takes a pause and looks at me head-on. “Certain about it.”

  I let them chat as I continue into Nathan’s room. I peek in first, making sure everything is in place. Wouldn’t want to give away our secret getaway.

  Mom follows me in, mouth falling open. “Tracey,” she squeals. “His room is bigger than our master.”

  “It’s not that big, Mom.” She is where I get my over exaggeration. “But, this is where I sleep. Thanks for not going crazy. About this. I appreciate your understanding.”

  “You are not a child, Tracey, even though your father and I will always see you as our baby. I understand you are growing up and I know you are not going to be alone forever. And Nathan makes you happy. You two remind me of your father and me. Young and in love and nothing and no one able to take you from each other or change your minds about what you believe you have. I get it.” She crosses the room from the TV stand to the bathroom. “I have to respect that. Can I look in here?” she asks, pointing to the closed door.