Holy shit. Just thinking those words boggled my mind. A child. Me. A father. It made no sense. The child would be two now. Two years. What did she look like? I had so many questions. Unfortunately, I couldn’t put them into words.
“Devin, I know you’re angry, and I can accept that,” she said. “Despite your anger and what has happened between us, it doesn’t change the deal we have. We can take this IPO to the market and follow through with our promise to Toby. Once it’s done, I’ll leave. I’ll go home.”
“You’ll leave,” I repeated. “Just pick up and go home. You expect everything to go back to normal?”
“You’ll never have to worry about seeing me again,” she said. “I’ll be gone.”
“Again,” I snapped.
“I just need to see this through. I have to make sure my father’s legacy is safe. This deal is too important to let fall apart now.”
I couldn’t believe how cold she was. She didn’t seem to give two shits about turning my life upside down for a second time. She’d just exploded my life and she wanted to talk business. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t think about deals and IPOs. I could barely remember my name.
“Are you serious right now?” I asked her.
She nodded. “I am. This is important. This deal is everything for my dad’s firm. Without it, he loses everything.”
My eyes widened. “He loses everything? Are you honestly asking me to put aside everything I’m feeling right now so your daddy doesn’t go broke?”
“It’s business,” she stated. “You of all people know business isn’t personal.”
I shook my head. “Only you would think that. My business is personal. I take it all personally. Maybe that’s something you need to learn.”
“My father’s livelihood depends on this deal going through,” she insisted.
“I don’t give a fuck about your father. This is about me, us. Our child.”
“Devin, I need you to understand this deal is important. That’s what matters right now.”
The car pulled to a stop. I looked at her, trying to figure out what to say to her. I felt like I was talking to a stranger. She wasn’t the woman I thought I knew, not even the traitor I knew her to be. The woman I was looking at was someone else entirely.
“What matter is us,” I told her. She bit her lower lip, her eyes glassy and sadness on her face. “Devin, there is no us,” she whispered.
Before I had a chance to respond, she climbed out of the car and raced down the sidewalk. I watched her move but didn’t bother to chase her. There was no point. I had no words. I needed some time to process it all. She disappeared inside a building at the end of the block.
“Sir?” the driver said.
I looked at him. “Just drive,” I told him.
He gave a slight nod. There was no doubt he had overheard the conversation. The car pulled into the street and blended into traffic. I felt numb. I felt like I was floating, looking down at my life from somewhere else. I felt disconnected.
My analytical brain took me back to the beginning. I had to start from the top and work my way through the problem. I fast-forwarded through the part where she’d pretended to be a naïve intern and skipped to the night in my office. I didn’t think either of us had expected it to happen. She might have been trying to seduce me, but that night had felt spontaneous.
Spontaneous, which meant unprotected. I had just assumed she’d been on the pill. I didn’t even consider the idea she could be pregnant. I was a grown man and should have known better. I felt responsible for getting her pregnant. I hated that I never got to take responsibility for my role in the situation. No wonder her dad hated me so much. I would hate me, too.
I wondered if he knew that I had no idea about the baby. What had she told him? Did she tell him I’d taken advantage of her and when she turned up pregnant, denied responsibility? Once again, I had more questions than answers.
Chapter 20
Elly
I burst through the door, locking it behind me. I didn’t know what I expected him to do, but the locked door gave me a sense of security. I had an instinctive need to protect my baby. I knew she wasn’t in danger from him, but things were not good. Everything was falling apart.
I wanted to shield her from the shitstorm that was likely going to swoop into our normally mundane lives. All because I had come back to New York. I had been so close to securing my father’s company, and now it was all hanging by a very weak thread. Things had been perfect and in the blink of an eye, shattered.
I wanted to shake my father for what he had done. Was he purposely trying to sabotage himself? He was destroying his future, and I couldn’t seem to stop him. He was going to be a pauper. All the money my grandfather had saved was gone because my dad couldn’t control his tongue. He was impulsive and never thought before he spoke. He acted without worrying about consequences. I couldn’t understand how the two of us could be so different and still be related.
I walked directly to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine from the kitchen counter. I poured a glass, trying to steel my nerves. My hands were shaking so bad I nearly dribbled wine down my chin. I cursed under my breath before taking another long gulp. I didn’t day drink. I especially didn’t drink when Lizzy was up and about.
“Um, do I dare ask?” Jane asked, coming into the kitchen, her eyes on the bottle.
“Where’s Lizzy?”
“I just put her down for a nap. What happened?”
I groaned. “He knows.”
“Who knows what?”
I took another drink of the wine. “Devin. He knows about Lizzy. He’s so pissed. So, so pissed and I’m so, so fucked.”
Her eyes widened. “What? How? You told him?”
“My fucking dad told him,” I hissed.
“Grab your glass and come tell me what happened.”
I carried the bottle with me and flopped on the sofa. “Devin and I had just gotten done with the meeting. It went great. Everything was so perfect. We were set to roll out next week. I was walking on air when I walked out of that meeting. We were talking and friendly, and I felt like we had finally turned a page in our relationship. He was so nice and respectful in the meeting. He made me feel like an equal. It felt so good. And then, my father showed up like hell on wheels. He started going off about Devin stealing the deal from him.”
She nodded, encouraging me to continue. “Your dad has never liked Devin.?”
“Right, so I purposely didn’t tell him about it because I didn’t want the two of them at odds while we talked with Toby. So, when my dad found out Devin was involved, he lost his shit. He started spouting off about Devin not getting a penny of the profits and on and on. When Devin let him know it was going to be done his way, my dad hit him below the belt. He took a great deal of pleasure calling him a piece of shit for knocking up his daughter and walking out on her.”
Jane’s eyes grew round. “Did you deny it?”
I rolled my eyes. “How could I? He wouldn’t have believed me anyway. He really hates me now. And my dad. I don’t even know how to help him. He’s sabotaging himself. I had him squared away. He would have been set, but now, I don’t know. Devin’s smart. He can find a way out of this and take Toby with him.”
“Would he do that?”
I scoffed. “In a heartbeat. He was furious.”
Jane blew out a breath. “I hate to say this, but I think you have to walk away. You said it yourself, your dad is set on destroying himself. Save yourself and walk away.”
I rubbed two fingers over my throbbing temple. “Maybe you’re right. This whole thing is just a complete disaster. I should leave before Devin gets over the shock and starts plotting revenge like he did the first time he found out I betrayed him. He set out to ruin my father, and while I can’t blame him entirely for how that worked out, he would have taken him down if my dad didn’t do it himself.”
“I’m sorry,” she offered. “This really sucks.”
“What if
he sues me for custody?” I gasped, the realization that he could destroy the life I knew with my daughter slamming into me. I started to panic. My heart raced at the thought of losing my baby girl.
“Relax, you’re getting way ahead of yourself. From what I know about Devin McKay, the last thing he wants is a kid.”
I shook my head. “He was furious with me. What if he does it just to hurt me? Would he stoop so low to use his own daughter as a pawn?”
Jane put her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know, but you have a lot on your side. You’ve been raising her by yourself this whole time.”
“Because he didn’t know. He’s got more money than I do! He could destroy me in a long, drawn-out legal battle. I wouldn’t be able to go back to California.” I took another drink of the wine. Then another ugly realization stole into my brain. “Oh my God,” I breathed.
“What’s wrong?”
“My dad,” I said. “He used me as a pawn in his war against Devin. He doesn’t care about me. He used me.”
Jane leaned forward and gave me a hug. “I’m sorry honey. It’s okay. I won’t let Devin get to Lizzy. I have more money than he does or damn close to it. I will hire you a whole team of lawyers to fight him. I will assassinate him in court if he dares fuck with you.”
I couldn’t hold back the laugh. “Thank you. You’re such a good friend.”
“Anytime,” she said, patting me on the back. “I got you. If all else fails, I’ll whisk you and Lizzy away on the family jet. We’ll go somewhere tropical with no extradition policy.”
I burst into laughter. “I’m a little afraid of you.”
“Don’t be. Just stay on my good side.”
“You’re crazy,” I told her. The landline rang. I groaned, knowing it was probably my father. “I’ll get it,” Jane offered.
“It’s fine. I better get this over with before he shows up here. I don’t want him upsetting Lizzy.” I reached for the phone. “Hello,” I answered with resignation.
“Miss Savage, it’s Ernie, at the door. You have a visitor. Should I send him up?”
I didn’t understand why he would be asking if he could send up my father. “My dad?”
“No, it’s a Devin McKay.”
My stomach dropped. It was stupid to have the car drop me off at my building. I hadn’t been thinking clearly. There was no getting away from him now. “Yes.”
“What’s going on?” Jane asked.
“It’s Devin. He’s here.”
“Want me to kick his ass out?”
I smiled, shaking my head. “I don’t want to make it any worse.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
A minute later there was a knock on the door. Jane opened the door and stepped close to Devin. My friend wasn’t exactly big, but her fiery red hair gave her just enough of a crazy look to intimidate people. I knew she would never hurt anyone, but the crazy ran strong in her. “You better watch yourself, mister. I’ve got your number. You hurt her or disrespect her, and I will make you pay in ways you didn’t know were possible.”
She turned to look at me, winked, and walked out. Devin walked inside and closed the door. “Nice lady,” he muttered.
“She’s a good friend looking out for me. She can be a little overprotective.” He let out an audible sigh. The man looked beat. “Can I get you a glass of wine?”
“I think I need something a little stronger than wine.”
I noticed his gaze scanning the apartment. I was suddenly embarrassed. There were LEGOs and various toys scattered about the place. I watched as he took in the scene. I was sure it was probably a lot for him to cope with. I understood that, but I wouldn’t allow him to do anything I felt wasn’t in Lizzy’s best interest. Neither of us talked for several minutes.
“What are you doing here?” I finally asked when he didn’t say anything.
Instead of answering, he stared at me. I felt like he was trying to see inside my head, like he had Superman vision and was analyzing me. The longer he stared at me, the more I freaked out inside. I didn’t know what he was going to do. My mind automatically jumped to the worst-case scenario. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my palms were damp. I rubbed them on my thighs.
I couldn’t take it anymore. The silence was killing me. I threw up my hands. “Just say whatever it is you came to say. Spit it out!”
He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
“What do you want? Why are you here? If you’re just here to insult me or taunt me, leave. I’m not interested in hearing any of it.”
His mouth flattened into a thin line, but he still refused to talk. I was losing my fight. I couldn’t keep doing it.
“Fine,” I said, my shoulders sagging forward. “I’m making some tea. I don’t have scotch or whiskey. Do you want some tea?”
I walked into the kitchen and filled the kettle before putting it on the stove with my back to him. I heard him walk in behind me. I fought to keep my hands from shaking. I turned on the burner and turned to face him.
“I thought you were drinking wine,” he said in a low voice.
“I don’t drink during the day,” I retorted.
Once again, one of those dark eyebrows quirked upward.
“I had a few sips, that was it.”
He stepped closer to me. He was absolutely invading my personal space. I could feel his breath brushing over my hair. I wasn’t going to back down. I wouldn’t be intimidated by him. I inched my chin up and looked him in the eyes, and I couldn’t fight the little tug of regret I felt when I stood this close to him. I hated that things were such a mess between us.
I wished like hell things were different. I didn’t have to wonder why things were the way they were. That was on me. I had made a series of choices that hurt him. I wanted to use the excuse I didn’t know better, that I had believed my father, but it was flimsy. I was an adult. I could have made different decisions.
I didn’t, and now it was time to own up to my mistakes. I would take the blame for what I had done, but I would not let anything happen to Lizzy. Her life would not be negatively impacted. I would do what Jane suggested before I ever let him take her from me or use her against me.
Chapter 21
Devin
My heart hurt. I had never felt such pain. It was the pain of betrayal mixed with something that went much deeper. I was still trying to put it to words. I was speechless and was even more confused about her reaction to my reaction. She acted like I had done something wrong. She was the one acting like the injured party.
“Devin, step back,” she ordered.
It was yet another thing I couldn’t understand. She acted as if I was an intruder in her life. In her daughter’s life. Our daughter’s life. The child was mine. At least, that’s what she was claiming. Or not claiming. It was one of the many questions that was swimming through my brain.
“I need some answers,” I told her.
“You haven’t asked any questions.”
“Don’t push me away,” I snapped. “You act as if I’m bothering you. I have a right to know.”
“Know what?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
I ran my hands through my hair. “Everything. Why everything. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
She blew out a breath. “Because I had just helped my dad steal that deal from you. Things had been kind of crazy, and I didn’t realize I was late until after everything was said and done. I knew you were going to be furious when you found out.”
“Obviously,” I growled.
“Exactly. I knew you were going to be pissed. I couldn’t walk into your office, where I was no longer welcome, I might add, and tell you I was pregnant.”
“Yes, you could have,” I told her, shooting down her flimsy excuse.
“Devin, would you have believed me?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t think you would have believed me. You weren’
t exactly in a mind to believe anything I told you at that point.”
I gave her a dry look. “I can’t imagine why.”
“Even if you believed me about the baby, then what? Do you think you would have wanted me or my daughter in your life?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t get a chance to make that decision. I didn’t get to decide what I thought about any of it. I deserved to at least have a conversation about it.”
“I think you know how that conversation would have gone,” she insisted. “You had just lost something big because of me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t have a clue how that would have gone. I can’t say how I would have felt. You had my child. Do you understand what that means? My child. I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t have been pissed at you. I was and I still am. What happened back then was a shitshow.”
“Devin, I truly, truly didn’t know who you were when I went into that office posing as an intern,” she insisted.
I held up a hand. “I’m not interested in getting into all of that. I can’t deal with that right now. I want to know about the baby. I want to know how your father knew, but I didn’t. What did you tell him?”
She made a face, shaking her head. “I made a lot of mistakes back then.”
“Did you tell your father I knew about the pregnancy and rejected my own child?” I asked, the very words like a stabbing sensation in my gut.
“Not exactly,” she hedged. “I told him you didn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t specifically tell him it was your child.”
I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing. “But he guessed. Why? Why would he assume it was my child? Did you tell him?”
She winced. “No. Kind of. Things were so complicated back then. I was young and confused and just trying to do right by my dad.”
“Adding the fact that I knocked you up to your father’s long list of reasons why he hated me seemed like a good idea? You told him I took advantage of you?”
S is for Second Chance Page 12