Forever Reasons (10,000 Reasons Book 4)

by Cee, DW

  *******

  The shower had turned off and it was inevitable that my wife would walk into our bedroom. The stubborn woman that she was, she’d gone into the guest bathroom rather than straight into her own. She had absolutely no intention of making life any easier on me. Damn, adorable woman.

  “Alex, I’m going to go see your mom, OK? Can you stay here and play with your typer?” As if that was a question I needed to ask. I put a new piece of pink paper into the machine and walked toward our bedroom once I saw Jenna go in.

  I almost ran into my wife who was stuck at the doorframe of our room, staring at her new surroundings. Curling my arms around her waist, I kissed her neck and asked, “What do you think?”

  “When did you do this?”

  “Yesterday, after you ripped into me.”

  “But, how did you do this?”

  “I went online, purchased a new bed, a new rug, and two new night stands. The rest, you’ll have to purchase if you want this room completely changed.”

  “What happened to the old furniture? There was nothing wrong with it.” Yeah, right.

  “There was nothing wrong with it if I planned on sleeping on the bed alone until I was ninety-five,” I teased and kissed her a few more times. “My wife was unhappy—and rightly so. I donated everything to the local shelter.”

  “Oh.” That was all she had to say?

  “I want you to be clear on the fact that no other woman has been in any of my beds but you, my sweet Jenna. Only you have been in my heart, able to make it bleed with misery or cry with joy. I don’t ever want you to doubt my devotion to you, ever again.” Jenna was quiet and I knew why. “Yes, I have been with other women. Since we separated, there haven’t been many, but I’ve had sex with a few. I’ve been careful with whom I’d spent my time and none of them have lasted beyond a few dates. I wish there’d been no other women since we met, but that’s not the case and after yesterday, I realize I need to come clean with what I’d done.”

  *******

  Even after witnessing Xander’s grand gesture of changing out our bedroom and making sure that I understood how important I was in his life—why’d it hurt so much to hear about him and other women? It wasn’t as though he didn’t have a right to see other women. As my mother had said, I could’ve been with other men had I chosen a different lifestyle. No one was passing out awards for being celibate for three years.

  “Sweet Jenna, don’t cry. The stupid errors of my ways don’t deserve your tears.” My husband was wiping away tears that I didn’t realize were free-falling all over my face. He turned me around and held me tight. “I should’ve come for you and our daughter earlier. Why I waited this long to have this kind of happiness is beyond anyone’s comprehension. I know you struggled raising our daughter. It positively slays me to think of you going to school, working, and caring for Alex. I wish I’d been courageous enough to walk in and meet my daughter on her first birthday. Had I not seen Larry at your apartment, we would’ve reconciled earlier.”

  That was a surprise. “You were at Alex’s first birthday?”

  “I was. I’d arrived at your apartment and was gathering the courage to come see you and our daughter when I saw Dr. Tanner. Old habits die hard, Jenna. Automatically, I believed you and he were still together. I didn’t see how I’d fit into your threesome.”

  “Didn’t your family tell you I wasn’t seeing anyone?”

  “Yes and no. They never mentioned it either way, I suppose. As much as they encouraged me to go see Alex, they didn’t say much about you. I figured they either didn’t know or they didn’t want me to know.”

  It was time to bury the hatchet and to forget. I never saw myself as a vengeful person, but apparently I was. Forgetting wasn’t easy.

  “Thank you for changing out the bed, bedding, nightstands, and rug. You didn’t need to buy anything other than a new bed, but I appreciate the thought.” With a relatively tearless face, I kissed my husband. “I’ll try harder to let go. I know you had a life. I’m sorry I keep taking up issues with your past. Just know that I wouldn’t be this torn up if I didn’t love you so much. There are times when I wish I didn’t love you as much as I do.”

  “I need your love, Jenna. That’s what makes my heart beat. In the years you’ve been in my life, I’ve only had your love for not even a month. I want it for the rest of our lives. Please don’t keep it from me.”

  “As if I could,” I grumbled.

  Pulling away from Xander, I walked around the room to take in our new pad. Xander had great minimalist taste. I appreciated what he’d done, especially in the short time he had.

  “Let me change and I’ll make us some breakfast. I’m starved.”

  Xander said nothing but followed me into the bathroom where I saw the pregnancy kit taking center stage on the marble counter.

  “Were you going to tell me about the new baby or was I going to find out at month four?”

  Suddenly, I felt shy talking about what and who was inevitable with the amount of sex we were having. “I’m not sure if I’m pregnant. I’m only a few days late, and my cycle is irregular, but I thought I’d buy the kit and go through this process again—this time with the father of my child,” I teased.

  That earned me a light spanking on the rear. “You want to do this now or should we hold off a few weeks?”

  I knew Xander and I’d be all right, but something about our mood right now wasn’t the perfect time. I wanted us to be in that ideal moment when we found out whether we would be expecting a second child. “Let’s wait. It’s premature and I don’t want us to be disappointed if I’m not pregnant. After a week or so, if my cycle doesn’t make an appearance, let’s take the test together.”

  “Sounds good to me. In the meanwhile, will you indulge me?”

  “How so?”

  “Lex was here yesterday after you’d left and said something that made a lot of sense. I think I’ll heed my wise sister’s advice.”

  “What did she say?”

  “That’s my secret, Sweet Jenna.” He answered with a quick kiss and a wink. “You finish up and I’ll get breakfast started. I’ll also make sure our daughter hasn’t littered the living room with colored butterfly-shaped paper.”

  “What’s the secret, Xander? I really don’t like surprises.”

  “You’ll have to learn to like them. Also, don’t think you’ll ask Lex for answers. I’ve told her not to tell you.”

  “Geez.” I complained.

  “I’m calling your parents and/or mine to come babysit our daughter tonight. Be ready for me by six o’clock.”

  “What will we do?”

  “That’s a secret.”

  “Then how am I to be ready? Are we talking everyday wear? Formal wear? Beach wear?”

  “What you look like on a daily basis is gorgeous enough, Jenna. I don’t need you attracting the attention of all the other men.”

  “Whatever. Go.” I pushed him out of the bathroom. “It’s too quiet out there. Lord knows what that girl is up to. She tends to have a naughty streak like her daddy.”

  With another kiss, he walked away.

  For the first time, ever, I felt as if we were going to make it.

  Security felt damn good.

  *******

  “Burger and beer?” My wife asked, quite surprised.

  “I told you that your usual self was beautiful enough. With that nightclub outfit on your perfect body, you have all the men ogling you. I should’ve had you change.”

  “Why didn’t you?” she sounded annoyed. “I did ask how I should dress.”

  “And I did tell you to be your usual, beautiful self.”

  “What’s after this?”

  “We just got here. Sit. Relax. Let’s have a beer, eat dinner, and see where this takes us.”

  “What’s this all about?” Always the suspicious one, she had a hard time just enjoying herself.

  “Like I said, relax, Sweet Jenna. What would you like to eat?”

 
; It took a little coaxing to get Jenna to leave our daughter with our parents. Not only did we leave her for the evening, we left her for the night. Initially, the idea was to take my wife out on a date. When I told our parents about Lex’s idea that I should date my wife, they were thrilled. My mother-in-law suggested that we should leave Alex with them for the night and come back for her late Sunday morning. I told her that she was brilliant and here we were—at a sports bar, ordering food, watching games on all the televisions around us, and behaving like a couple.

  “Tell me about the client you had to meet after breakfast, Xander. It sounded urgent.”

  “It wasn’t urgent, but he’s been hounding me to listen to his new venture. I’ve been pushing him off since before London, and he caught me today. Did you mind that I conducted business on Saturday?”

  “No, Xander. Alex and I are so lucky to have you around during the week, when you have to work, I consider it a necessary bummer.”

  I leaned over and kissed my girl. Pulling her chair closer to me, I said, “Have I told you how much I look forward to coming home these days?”

  “No, but I know exactly how you feel. When Alex and I lived in Columbus, we’d come home from our outings and I hated knowing we’d be greeted by an empty apartment. Even as small as it was, it was too quiet—especially when Alex went to sleep. Did I tell you that I usually slept no more than three to four hours a day?”

  “No, why?”

  “I worked as many hours of the night to fill the void. However, no matter how hard I tried to breach the silence, whether with soft music, television, or work, my life was continually barren.”

  “So you’d work in the living room while our daughter slept in the bedroom?”

  “Yeah. I became the agency’s best editor, finishing book after book. I made a lot of money during those years.”

  “Tell me how you got by while pregnant, attending school, and working. I should’ve helped you.” This regret for my past actions, or better stated, inaction, would be my cross to bear.

  “When I was pregnant, I had school, lodging and meals provided by the school. Thank God I’d earned a scholarship. It would’ve been nearly impossible if I had to earn a living during those days. After I had Alex, I had a gracious roommate who offered to bunk with another suitemate. With the school’s permission, I had an entire room in the suite to myself.”

  “So how did you attend school and take care of our newborn?”

  “Mom came and stayed with me the last few months of school. She took care of Alex day and night for the first three months. The nursing school was ridiculously supportive. They gave me half hour breaks, and I’d run from the hospital to my room to nurse our daughter every three hours. Since Alex ate, slept, and pooped for the first two months of her life, leaving her with Mom wasn’t hard. Once she began smiling and recognizing me, it took much willpower to leave a cooing baby.”

  “I wish I could’ve seen her during that time.”

  “But you have, Xander. Your parents and Lex came into the picture soon after Alex was born, and you’ve seen pictures and videos of your daughter.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “I know, but it is what it is, Xander. We promised not to dwell on the past.”

  “We did. I just want a clearer picture of our daughter’s earlier days.”

  These would be days I’d never get back, thanks to my stupidity.

  *******

  “Let me ask you a question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “What’d you think of your daughter when you saw that first picture of her?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Absolute honesty.”

  “I wept.”

  “You did?” I placed my hand on Xander’s face and kissed him. “Did you notice how much she looked like you? She was a perfect female version of you.”

  Xander leaned in and kissed me again. “I actually saw so much of you in our daughter. Though she was blonde like her aunt and paternal grandmother, her face, especially when she opened her eyes, was all you. It broke me to see you in her. I’d been the world’s biggest dick, and you’d gifted me with the best present a man could receive.”

  “Did you ever want to come see us or were you content to see pictures of your daughter through the eyes of your family?”

  “I desperately wanted to see you and our daughter. Daily, I struggled with myself. You don’t know how many times I’d purchased a plane ticket to Columbus and canceled it.”

  “Can I make a confession to you?”

  “Of course, Sweet Jenna.”

  “Alex and I’d visited LA about three times before you came to see us at the park. Each time we were here, I drove by your house and parked along the highway.”

  “You did?” I liked the sound of my husband’s regret. “I wish I’d seen you. Had I known, I would’ve made the next move and brought you and our daughter back home.”

  I sighed thinking back to those lonely days where I sat in the car, praying to God that Xander would come home that very moment and see us. “I timed our drive with Alex’s nap schedule. We’d come here, I’d sit in the parked car, across the street from you, and hope luck would be on my side. Never once did I see any life in your house. With my hopes dashed, I went back to Larry’s, debating whether I should try again the next day.”

  “Sweet Jenna. Had you rang the doorbell, or just used the key code and come in...our lives could’ve been happier, a lot sooner.”

  “I guess we needed a little more time to grow up. It’s all right, Xander. This delayed gratification is pretty darn sweet.”

  My husband gave me one more tender embrace. “I love you, Sweet Jenna. Thank you for giving me my life back. I hope I make you half as happy as you and our daughter make me.”

  “You are a dream come true for the both of us, Xander. I love you too.”

  With the serious part of our night done, we finished our meal and Xander announced that there was another part to our night. Who was I to argue with my husband who’d planned this time for us? I followed his lead.

  “A movie?” I asked, surprised.

  “When was the last time we watched a movie in a movie theater?”

  I had to think about that. “Um, never?”

  “Exactly. I don’t care what we watch. Pick a movie so I can buy us a tub of popcorn and make out with my stunning bride.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think people do that anymore in the theater. In fact, that might be considered rude.”

  “Fine. Pick a movie that’s been out for a while. With no one in the theater, who’s going to complain about the couple who can’t keep their hands off each other?”

  Now, I was getting worried. “I’ll watch a movie with you if you promise not to do anything in the theater.”

  “No deal.” Xander proceeded to the box office and asked which movie had been out the longest. Once he got his answer, he purchased the tickets, bought a gigantic tub of popcorn and an enormous drink with two straws, and led me into theater number nine.

  “Shit,” I mumbled. There was not a body in sight.

  “Yes!” Xander did a fist pump while carefully holding our snacks. “You ready?” His smirk was adorable.

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “Nope.”

  True to his words, we couldn’t keep our hands and lips off one another. I could hardly recall what it was that we watched, other than each other.

  *******

  “Lex. I need a babysitter this weekend.”

  “Seriously, Xander? Friday and Saturday nights? Maybe I have two dates lined up this weekend. I’m young, beautiful, and single. I have a life.” My sister was always a laugh-and-a-half.

  “You’re the one who suggested I date my wife. I have tickets to the opera tonight and to a concert tomorrow night. The grandparents are away for the weekend. You, Auntie Lele, are on. Alex is looking forward to the present that comes with Auntie Lele.”

  My sister groaned but I knew she was also grinning
. “That girl of yours is taking me to the poorhouse. Does your wife know of your plans?”

  “Nope. Last weekend worked out well with a dinner and a movie. I’m continuing the wooing.”

  “Great. At my expense.”

  “Let me remind you that I’m only following your advice. My wife is enjoying our time together. My daughter is enjoying her time with her extended family. Everyone is happy.”

  “Except for poor Auntie Lele who can’t seem to get a date if her life depended on it.”

  “It’s good for you to be single, Lex. You have much to do before settling down.”

  “Says the man who’s deliriously in love.” I knew my sister was happy for me, but I sensed she was lonely.

  “Your time will come, Lex. When it does, hold on tight and don’t let go.”

  “All right, Big Brother. What time shall I be there?”

  “How about five-thirty? We have a dinner reservation at six.”

  “Any suggestions on what to buy that precious girl of yours? She’s seriously beautiful, Xander. She’s going to give you gray hair by the time she’s five.”

  “Don’t I know it. She’s as gorgeous as my wife.”

  “Your lovesick ways make me smile, gag, and envious all at the same time.”

  “My daughter says she wants a shopping cart for all her cooking toys. I’ve already purchased one in your name. Pick it up before you come by the house.”

  “You spoil her rotten, Xander. She’s going to have a hard time when that second one comes along.”

  I hung up with Lex and thought about our next child who could already be growing. It had been almost a week since we last talked about taking the test. As impatient as I was, I’d wait until Jenna decided it was time to discover the next chapter of our future.

  *******

  “Hey, Jenna.”

  “Hello, Dr. Tanner. I haven’t seen you all day today. You’ve been busy.”