The First Adventure

by Mark Boutros

  Oaf sighed and rubbed his head.

  ‘Have I upset you?’ Questions looked for a good patch of ground to sleep on.

  ‘No. Just made me think about something. My mum once said, "Obsession is a poison. You need to let it go before it consumes you."' Oaf reached up and grabbed leafy branches. ‘Here.’

  She took the branches to use as cover and smiled.

  Tortured Soul dragged tiny twigs in her teeth. ‘Does this help?’

  Oaf grabbed the twigs but they broke in his massive hands. He looked apologetically at Tortured Soul who stared, open mouthed at her hard work, now crushed.

  Questions slept with a smile on her face. She dreamed she was in a huge wooden library with sunlight shining through a roof window.

  Books on every topic ever spoken of surrounded her. They were always happy to answer her and never judged.

  She studied a sketching of a castle in the shape of a demons face. She looked up and her eyes filled with tears. Her father, Quizmal, stood in a doorway to another part of the library.

  'Is that you?' she asked.

  'Have I missed you too?' He smiled. He turned and walked away from her, into the other room.

  Questions' heart swelled and she followed him. Books covered the floor and a crackling sound filled the air.

  'Can you give me a hug?' he asked.

  'Can I?' She walked towards him, but the smell of ash shot up her nostrils and he faded into a smoky image of himself.

  'What's going on?' She reached for him and held him. She closed her eyes. 'Do I love you?'

  'Do I love you too?'

  His body felt as cold as ice, and when she released her grip and stepped back he was gone and the books vanished from the floor.

  'Fire!' a voice called.

  The wooden shelves fell.

  'Fire!'

  The library collapsed and Questions opened her eyes.

  Tortured Soul's bottle was pressed against her face. Questions screamed and remembered where she was.

  ‘Fire!’ Tortured Soul yelled.

  Questions’ heart raced. She scanned the farmhouse and the tree. ‘Where’s Oaf?’

  ‘Fire! Fire!’ Tortured Soul repeated.

  Oaf was gone and flames gobbled up trees. Questions gasped.

  She found Oaf sat, his shoulders slumped, staring at a huge mound of ash. Fire raged in the distance and all that remained was the sign on its pole – ‘This is a tavern. If you haven’t already figured that out by the generic tavern look of the place then you aren’t welcome.’

  Tears formed in Questions’ eyes. ‘What happened?’

  Oaf shrugged.

  ‘Where are… they?’

  Oaf shook his head. He stood up and walked over to a pile of burnt wood.

  ‘Do you think they escaped?’ Questions asked.

  ‘I hope so.’ Oaf touched the sign. It fell onto the pile, kicking up a puff of ash and dust. Oaf huffed. ‘I could’ve stopped this… If we didn’t rest, I could’ve stopped it.’

  They all stared at the remains.

  Oaf clenched his fists.

  ‘Do you blame me?’ Questions asked.

  Oaf looked away. ‘I’m going to find Lord Ragnus, but on my own. I don’t want you two getting hurt.’

  ‘Can I please come with you?’ Questions protested.

  ‘Yeah, we’re a team,’ Tortured Soul said through her bottle.

  ‘No.’

  Questions tried to say what had been on her mind but her throat clenched and she made strained noises again.

  Oaf looked at her and waited. ‘What are you trying to say?’ He tensed.

  Questions whimpered. Lines jumped around in her head. Do you know I love you? Is this love? They weren’t quite the same as saying I love you. Throughout history, since the first time the queen of the Soil Dunes told a snake, ‘I love you,’ and married it, people had made so much of it being three little words. Any more, any less, or any variations just seemed like a disappointment.

  Questions stared at Oaf’s impatient face and she gave up.

  Oaf nodded at her. ‘Sorry.’ He turned and ran towards the fire.

  Questions watched, wishing she had the words to stop him.

  28

  A Little Lionbear licked Karl’s dragon dung stained hand. He didn’t move for fear of the lick turning into a bite and was surprised she didn’t retch or wince. She must have only been a child, but was still nearly as tall as him. She didn’t seem as ferocious as the others, but Karl wanted his hand back before she proved him wrong. ‘There, there,’ he whispered. ‘It’s my hand… now please don’t make any noise.’

  The Little Lionbear smiled, poked Karl’s head and knocked it off the wall. Pain shot through his skull. Such a ridiculous amount of strength. He rubbed his head and stood up.

  The Little Lionbear shuffled, agitated.

  ‘Do you want some gold?’ Karl took some gold from his pocket and waved it around. ‘Look, gold, wow. Meaningless, shiny nonsense.’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Do you want some seeds?’ He showed her a handful. ‘Yum, seeds.’

  She shook her head again.

  ‘Well then you’re out of luck. I’m not a damn merchant.’

  She pulled on Karl’s hand.

  Karl tapped his head against the wall. ‘Why won’t everyone just leave me alone?’

  The Little Lionbear laughed. ‘No, hitting my head isn’t a game. It’s to show how annoyed I am.’

  The Little Lionbear pointed to the wall.

  ‘No. I don’t… ugh.’ Karl knew there was no point. He hit his head against the wall again. ‘Brilliant. I’ll break my head before tomorrow.’ Karl banged harder until the Little Lionbear giggled.

  ‘Great. You’ve had your fun. Now go away.’ He waved her off, but she pointed to the rock by Karl’s feet.

  ‘Really?’ Karl handed the creature the rock but she pointed at Karl’s head. ‘I suppose I deserve this for cracking Arazod in the skull.’ Karl held the rock high above his head and dropped it. Pain jolted through his cranium.

  The Little Lionbear laughed.

  Karl dropped the rock on his head again. ‘As far as games go, you Lionbears are a bit restricted in here, aren’t you?’

  The Little Lionbear was focused on the flight of the rock. Karl moved it from side to side to see what she would do. ‘You like this, don’t you?’ Her eyes never shifted from the rock.

  Karl threw the rock towards the path. ‘Oh no, look what I’ve done completely by accident.’

  The Little Lionbear ran to retrieve it.

  ‘Yes, off you go, idiot.’ Karl turned back to Arazod. A Lionbear sat, cross-legged by the cage. Karl nearly cried at the sight of the beastly, hairy obstacle he’d have to overcome. He cursed himself for falling asleep.

  The Guard Lionbear rested a hand on the pot of marinade. The key dangled from a chain on his wrist.

  Karl thought he’d fly around the guard, dizzy him, grab the key, free Arazod, and then fly them both away. He could do it. He had previously beaten a Fool, outsmarted a tower, and overwhelmed a Valotaur. He launched himself out into the open, was grabbed mid-flight and chucked in the cage with Arazod. The sound of the lock clicking hammered home that Karl had failed.

  ‘Congratulations.’ Arazod folded his arms. ‘I bet you’re glad to have evaded death.’ He wheezed. ‘This is a vast improvement.’

  ‘Hey. If I was dead, who would be here rescuing you?’

  ‘Oh, is this a rescue?’ Arazod gestured to the cage. ‘Is this what rescue looks like?’ He coughed.

  ‘One step at a time, Mr. Pigeon.’ Karl smiled, enjoying that they were equals. He sniffed. ‘What is that stench?’

  ‘It’s this sticky sauce.’

  ‘You reek. We may be in the same boat, but yours is a lot smellier.’ It pleased Karl that something smelled nearly as bad as his dragon dung stained hand.

  The Guard Lionbear showered Karl in the same, stinking, warm liquid. ‘Argh!’ Karl shuddered.
>
  The Lionbear dragged the pot away to where Karl imagined the rest of the beasts were.

  Arazod smirked at the gloopy mess.

  ‘What is this grim mixture?’ Karl wiped it from his eyes.

  ‘The chunky lumps are crushed bones—’ He wheezed. ‘What gives it the runny texture is the boiled skin of a Cyclops, and the sticky bit is the stomach acid of a wovel mixed with honey.’

  Karl’s face dropped. ‘I won’t even ask what a wovel is.’

  ‘It’s a puffy, circular, stupid creature that hovers. It’s made purely of fat and feeds on any and all dung. I thought I’d wiped them out.’

  Karl sighed. Of course he tried to wipe them out.

  ‘I don’t recall you having wings,’ Arazod said.

  ‘Just a little something I picked up on my travels,’ Karl replied.

  Arazod’s eyes narrowed.

  The Little Lionbear approached Karl, presenting the rock.

  Karl grabbed it and threw it. ‘Go away!’

  The Little Lionbear retrieved it and returned.

  ‘No. It’s not a game!’ Karl threw the rock again.

  The Little Lionbear ran to get it. When she came back the Guard Lionbear returned and growled a warning. She scurried away. The Guard sat on the ground.

  Karl turned his attention to the lock.

  ‘Good plan. Play with the lock. I wish I’d thought of that,’ Arazod said.

  ‘Relax. I was just checking. It’s trial and error. This one was an error, but what I think of next might not be.’

  ‘Don’t converse with me until you…’ He wheezed.

  ‘Until I what?’ Karl mocked.

  ‘Figure out how we’re going to escape!’ Arazod moved to the other end of the cage, a mere shuffle away. He hummed but it turned into song. ‘It’s tough being the greatest King…’

  Karl’s eyes widened. ‘You’ve got to be joking,’ he muttered. Suddenly the Pit Of Endless screams seemed attractive. Arazod’s voice scratched at Karl’s brain.

  ‘Especially when…’ The wheezing kicked in.

  ‘Especially when you only have one working wing?’ Karl suggested.

  Arazod kicked at him. ‘Especially when people want to take everything!’ Arazod steadied himself. ‘So what if I destroy villages and kingdoms…’ He coughed. ‘Here and there.’

  ‘And everywhere,’ Karl said under his breath.

  ‘I personally think that my laws are…’ Arazod struggled.

  ‘Horribly unfair?’ Karl threw in.

  ‘Very, very fair.’ Arazod took a deep breath. ‘People see a Man-Hawk but inside I’m a sweet Man-Dove…’

  Karl stifled a laugh. He had never met anyone with such a lack of self-awareness.

  ‘Like everyone else, all I want, is…’ He tried to catch his breath.

  ‘All of the death?’ Karl added.

  ‘Love,’ he concluded.

  Karl sighed, relieved it was over.

  ‘Love, loooooove.’ Singing became wailing.

  Lionbears roared from afar. Karl assumed they were saying, ‘Shut your beak.’

  The Little Lionbear returned with the rock, but Arazod’s voice seemed to have created a small barrier of ear-abusing pain she couldn’t break through. Small mercies, Karl thought.

  Arazod finally stopped. He sniffled, sadness in his beady, evil eyes.

  ‘Karl,’ Arazod said, his tone almost friendly. ‘Why are you here to rescue me?’

  Karl shrugged. He couldn’t tell the truth. ‘I overheard that you were missing and I’m sick of running.’ He scratched his wrist. ‘I thought if I found you, you’d let me make a deal.’

  ‘I’m listening.’

  ‘I want this death sentence you’ve got hanging over mine and Questions’ heads to be gone. Call the Fools off.’

  Arazod nodded. ‘Very well. Get me out of here and I’ll call off my Fools. You can live your lives in peace outside of Flowforn.’

  ‘And...’

  ‘And?’

  ‘You and Lord Ragnus will leave Flowforn and never return.’

  Arazod fixed him with a look that suggested he try again.

  ‘Okay… How about, Questions can go back to living in Flowforn, and before I carry on with my life away from it, I can get some of my old things from Cell Two B?’

  ‘Like what?’ Arazod pressed.

  ‘You know, things like clothes… mementos.’

  Arazod folded his arms.

  ‘Like, erm… ashes.’

  ‘Ashes?’

  ‘The ashes of my dead childhood pet.’ He instantly regretted the words. ‘In a crate. The remains of my fish… Fuzby. I want to scatter them into the sea.’

  ‘Very well.’ Arazod grimaced. ‘Now concentrate on getting me out of here while I rest.’ Arazod shuffled and tried to get comfortable.

  Karl searched his mind for a solution.

  ‘Must save Arazod.’ Three Fools entered the lair and walked towards the cage.

  Arazod turned to see them and moved to the front of the cage. ‘The deal’s off.’ He pointed at the Lionbear. ‘Kill it and bring me the key,’ he commanded.

  Yellow flickered in their eyes, registering the order. They charged at the Lionbear, spears and swords ready. The Lionbear kicked the first in the head; the crack reverberated around the mountain.

  Karl winced.

  The Lionbear punched the second. Its head bashed against the rocky ground and its eyes rolled into the back of its head. The third Fool thrust its spear at the Lionbear, but it bashed the spear away, raised its claw and sliced the Fool’s neck open. The Fool fell to its knees, and instead of trying to stop the blood flowing from the wound; it tried to stand to attack again, but collapsed.

  Arazod’s face wore a look of disappointment more than sadness at the loss of life.

  The Lionbear dragged the bodies towards the fire-lit part of the mountain.

  Arazod turned to Karl. ‘I accept your deal.’

  Karl took deep breaths. ‘Doesn’t it bother you when Fools die?’

  Arazod shrugged. ‘I’ll just make more.’

  It was that easy to not care…

  Arazod returned to his corner of the cage. ‘Now, solve our problem.’ He went to sleep.

  Karl had a plan in his mind, but Arazod’s sleep-wheezing knocked it out of his head for the fifth time.

  Karl held Arazod’s beak shut with his thumb and forefinger. He thought it would be funny to wipe some of the dragon dung that stained his hand on Arazod’s beak, so he did. Arazod’s beak twitched.

  The Lionbears were all asleep, but that didn’t help, because one of them had the key.

  Karl tried to fan out his wings, thinking he could fly the cage to freedom then worry about unlocking it, but the horrible goo stuck them down. He ran his hand through one wing, but the marinade was too thick to comb out. He wiped his hands on the cage bars.

  Karl thought if he could get their cage to fall off the path’s edge it would smash open and they’d be free. Granted, their heads may smash, as it was a bigger distance than the one Oaf had thrown him up Mount Alseed, but they were more likely to survive that than if they were chewed. Karl rattled the cage but all he achieved was exhaustion.

  He needed the Guard Lionbear to be nearer so he could swipe the key. What is likely to get the Lionbears to come running down?

  He poked the lazy Man-Hawk.

  Arazod lay there.

  ‘Hey.’ Karl pushed him.

  Nothing.

  Karl flicked Arazod’s beak.

  Arazod woke with a start, murder in his eyes. ‘What was that?’

  ‘A big flying… thing. Just whooshed in here. Smashed you straight on the beak but I scared it off.’

  Arazod’s eyes shot around, looking for it.

  ‘Seeing as you’re awake, would you mind singing me a song to help me fall asleep?’

  Arazod’s beak tightened. He looked like he wanted to peck Karl’s eyes out.

  ‘I’m serious! Please, your highness. I’m stru
ggling to fall asleep and your voice is so, so soothing. Some rest will inspire my escape plan.’

  Arazod beamed. ‘Well if you’re serious, then of course! I have two songs suitable for night time. Feathers of Freedom, or Pecks Passing In The Breeze.’

  ‘Feathers of Freedom!’ Karl said enthusiastically.

  Arazod took deep breaths. ‘My feathers are sooooft, their brightness is brighter than light you see.’

  Karl heard grumbling.

  ‘My feathers are powerful, for you they are too mightyyyy.’

  Aggressive Lionbear noises filled the air.

  ‘If you touch my feathers, you will feel jooooooy.’

  The collective aggression grew. Karl smiled.

  ‘But I told you not to touch them, so now I’ll cut your face off with my axe.’

  A Lionbear slammed its fist on the cage. Karl saw no key but noticed a wound on her face. She pressed her mouth against the cage bars and tried to bite Karl.

  ‘Hey!’ he moaned.

  The Wounded Lionbear lifted the cage into the air. The Guard Lionbear swiped the cage out of her hands. They growled, pushing and shoving. The Guard put the cage down and stood in front of it.

  The commotion brought the Little Lionbear out, and finally Karl had his plan. He called her over. She sneaked up to him and gave him the rock. Karl nodded approval.

  ‘Can you throw?’ Karl asked Arazod.

  ‘I’m the greatest thrower in all of Hastovia.’

  ‘I mean genuinely. Not through some competition of fear where people let you win.’

  ‘I’m…’ He caught his breath. ‘Not terrible.’

  ‘That makes you better than me. Now throw this rock at that big angry beast’s head.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They’re obviously upset with each other, so we start a fight, then who knows… Like I said. One step at a time.’

  Arazod puffed his feathers out. ‘With such careful planning…’ He wheezed. ‘How did we fail to kill you so many times?’

  ‘I’m all about instinct.’ Karl handed Arazod the rock.

  The Lionbears turned away from each other as though in the middle of some pathetic lovers’ quarrel.

  ‘Try to get her, but really hard in the head. Like, really hard.’ Karl directed Arazod.

  ‘Don’t give me instructions!’ Arazod lined up the shot and did a few practice motions.