by Mercy B
“You’re disrespectful as fuck,” Hampsher cursed releasing her hair. Lynn smiled as she massaged her scalp. She thought she’d won, but Hampsher was only getting started. She was so pissed off that she couldn’t even look at Rafeeq’s damp menacing frame. Even from the corner of her eye Hampsher envied the water droplets cascading down the front of his chocolate body. They curved around hard abs and buried themselves deep within his skin. Rafeeq was so handsome to Hampsher that she wanted to walk over to him, drop to her knees and lick up every single running drop. She yearned to taste him. To feel him inside her, but she couldn’t because he wanted to try her by fucking with irrelevant hoes.
Hampsher went into her purse. When her hand came out she had her Beretta in hand. Lynn’s frown caused Hampsher to smile as she released the safety and placed it directly in the middle of the trembling woman’s forehead. With a gun to her face, Lynn no longer thought anything was funny. She feared for her life after taking one look into Hampsher’s eyes. All she saw was determination. No fear or empathy. She was ready to murk the bitch.
“Oh, no don’t get quiet now. Keep that same energy Lynn.”
“Hampsher…” Rafeeq called out to her again. He could feel Lynn’s fear, but no one told her to taunt Hampsher. She’d brought it all on herself by being cute. Now she had a gun to her face and she was going to be without a job if she lived through the next few minutes. Hampsher was on edge, Rafeeq could feel it. He worried that she’d snap if she didn’t calm down soon. He also feared for the baby. She was surely putting too much stress on herself. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if anything happened to his seed or Hampsher because of his impulse to act out instead of dealing with the root of his problems. “Put the gun down.”
Hampsher smiled softly. Rafeeq sighed relieved but it only lasted a moment. With lightning speed Hampsher’s smile faded as she put the gun back on safety and began to pistol whip Lynn right there in his bedroom. Her strikes were deliberate and powerful. She tore Lynn a new asshole verbally while physically beating the brakes off her. Rafeeq knew that he should put a stop to the assault but he was turned on. The way Hampsher handled herself and the gun intrigued him. Just by watching her he could tell that she was still being safe. Not overdoing it and potentially risking the baby’s health. That small attention to detail hardened Rafeeq’s dick.
As he came out of fantasies of fucking Hampsher senseless he realized that Lynn was losing her energy. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath finally closing the distance between himself and the women. Hampsher’s hand rose in the air again, but before it could come down he gripped her wrist and held it up in the air. Rafeeq stared deeply into her beautiful brown eyes as the world melted away. He couldn’t deny how beautiful she was. How good she made his heart feel. How hard she made his… “Chill out,” Rafeeq whispered softly. Before she could form the thoughts he knew she would rebel. He also saw her desire for him burning hot in her eyes. Gripping her jaw in his hand, he pulled her face to him whilst still searing her soul from his glare. His expression told that he was serious. When their lips were lightly touching he whispered, “Let her go.” Hampsher didn’t move. She couldn’t. She’d lost control of her body the second Rafeeq touched her so aggressively tender. All she focused on was the cool mint on his breath tickling the tip of her lip. “Now,” he demanded.
Hampsher snapped out of her daze, looked down at a bloody Lynn crying on the floor, then let go. Her hand held on to the gun so tightly throughout her assault that it burned when she released some of the tension there. Rafeeq released Hampsher’s face to assess the damage done to Lynn’s face. Hampsher had without a doubt fucked her up. Bad. He felt somewhat responsible because they were in his home and he didn’t have to accept her advances the evening before. How was he to know Hampsher would show up at his home? When she’d ran out of his parents’ home he was certain that he wouldn’t see her again until he had to hunt her down when it was time to give birth. Her impromptu visit had him feeling proud, however it didn’t triumph the anger and betrayal that he still felt. Only talking to Hampsher would patch up the holes her actions ripped in his heart.
Rafeeq leaned down prepared to scoop Lynn up in his arms when Hampsher’s hands on his chest halted him. “I wish the fuck you would,” she threatened him. Rafeeq lifted his hands in the air and backed away. Hampsher’s fingers returned to Lynn’s hair as she began to drag her through the house. Rafeeq kept his mouth closed as a naked Lynn was tossed out the door with a warning of, “Don’t bring your ass back here unless you’re ready to die.”
His dick had been on swole since he walked out the bathroom to find Hampsher in his home. Rafeeq’s eyes skirted down her frame focusing on her lower half. He knew what rested just above the gap in her thighs. She’d gotten thicker since the pregnancy and her hips, thighs and juicy ass were filling out her jeans perfectly. His face frowned in when he realized just how good she looked. The thought of Hampsher entertaining another man had him ready to burn the city to the ground so he could only understand her anger.
The sound of the door slamming shut had Rafeeq’s eyes drifting back up until they landed on her face. She was pissed. He thought she would’ve calmed down by then, but she hadn’t. If anything her anger increased without Lynn there to distract her.
Silently, Hampsher marched passed Rafeeq. He followed behind closely unsure of what she was about to do. He got his answer when she came towards the bedroom door where he stood with her purse and car keys in hand. She tried to slip by him, but Rafeeq wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Where the hell you think about to go?” he questioned after rubbing his lips gently across the base of her neck. Hampsher visibly shivered from his touch, but it didn’t hinder her from trying to unwrap herself from his embrace. She was on the verge of a breakdown that she refused to have in front of him. He’d hurt her by sleeping with another woman. Hampsher felt confident that she was nothing more than a way for him to keep his mind off her, but it still didn’t ease the tense throbbing she felt within herself. She refused to sit around while Rafeeq made a fool of her, fighting the way he felt for her. If he wanted to fuck around then she was going to give him the space and opportunity to do so. They didn’t need to be together just because they would have the same kid. Hampsher wanted her family but she wouldn’t allow herself to be drug through the dirt to get it.
“Home,” she whispered. Her voice was shaky as she fought to keep her tears at bay. “Let go,” she fought against him which only encouraged Rafeeq to tighten his grip. He wasn’t letting her go. Not then. Not ever.
He shook his head, “I can’t do that. You gotta stay here.”
“For what?” Hampsher yelled at the top of her lungs. “So, you can make me suffer for wanting to kill your father?” Rafeeq tensed at the mention of what she’d done. “I refuse to let you play with my heart so just let me go.”
Rafeeq leaned down to kiss her cheek. He was also equally pissed off. He hated how at war he was, but he still wanted her to stay. Rafeeq was afraid that if Hampsher walked out his door it might be the last time he really saw her. He couldn’t allow that to happen so he placed another kiss on her cheek then gently requested that she, “Stay.”
Hampsher snatched away from Rafeeq and rushed towards the bathroom. The walls shook as she locked herself inside. Away from his tender touches and determination Hampsher sank to the floor slowly. Right against the door she allowed herself to open up. Hampsher began to cry so hard that her body vibrated and ears rung. From where Rafeeq sat on the bed he could hear her. The pain she released in her cries made him physically hurt. With his head in his hands Rafeeq sat there listening. Hampsher cried on the floor of the bathroom like her life depended on it and they both became even more lost on how to fix them because they were unsure if it was even worth it.
Chapter Nine
Rafeeq sat up so long waiting for Hampsher to come out of the bathroom, but she never did so he fell asleep. Rafeeq stirred in his sleep because he knew something w
as wrong. He got ready to open his eyes and sit up when he noticed there was a weight holding him in place. When his eyes came open he was face to face with a gun. A Beretta 92 to be exact.
He became pissed off as he glared at Hampsher. She sat on him with a blank expression and a deeply rooted scowl. He knew she had to have lost her mind pointing a gun in his face. Even though she was right in his face she seemed distant.
“Do it,” Rafeeq croaked putting an end to the silence in the bedroom. “Do it right fucking now,” he taunted her. If she shot him she had better pray that she killed him because if she didn’t Rafeeq would surely be the one pointing the gun and he wouldn’t hesitate to shoot.
Hampsher blinked as her eyes filled with tears. She shoved the gun closer to his face. “I’ll do it,” she whispered.
Rafeeq believed that she would. Her hand didn’t shake like a person afraid to pull the trigger. He was sure shooting was as easy as breathing to Hampsher. She was too comfortable with a gun in her hand. Rafeeq heard his father’s voice, if she wanted me dead, I would be.
“What are you waiting for? Pull the trigger Hampsher,” Rafeeq grew irritated by her hesitation. “Do it!” he yelled once more to which Hampsher just stared at him. He saw her finger brush against the trigger, however she never applied pressure. Her hand lowered the gun the exact moment one of her tears fell unto her face.
Rafeeq was quick in movements as he reached upward and wrapped his hand around Hampsher’s throat. He gave no fucks about the gun as he flipped them so that he was now on top of her perfectly positioned between her legs.
“Life will get real bad for you if you ever in your fucking existence point a gun in my face again.” Rafeeq’s anger dissipated as Hampsher began to cry underneath him. Right before his eyes she crumbled. With a sigh Rafeeq released his grip from her throat and sat back on the bed. He didn’t speak as she attempted to wipe away tears that were falling faster than she was getting rid of them.
Hampsher reached her breaking point with the silence. The reason she’d even shown up at Rafeeq’s was to lay her truth before him. She felt heavier than before. Arriving to find Lynn in his bed really hurt her. Him choosing his family over her really hurt her. And she decided that he needed to know.
“You broke my heart.” If it weren’t so silent in the room Hampsher’s voice would’ve gone unnoticed. Rafeeq’s attention fell on her so she continued. “Even after you promised that you wouldn’t.” Hampsher sat up before swinging her legs off the side of the bed. Looking at Rafeeq was too hard to do. Her hand went to her chest as she rubbed it. “It hurts right here Rafeeq. Why did you do this to me?”
Rafeeq related to how she felt because he felt the same sensations. He couldn’t take all the blame for where they were. “You don’t think I’m hurting too? You don’t think you’ve broken my heart Hampsher?” Hampsher looked over at him and knew he was telling the truth. Rafeeq positioned himself so that he was sitting beside her. “I don’t even know how to be around you anymore.”
She dropped her head briefly, “What do you mean?”
Rafeeq chuckled with running a hand down his face. “Because I don’t even know who the fuck you are. Do you realize that? Everything I know about you has been a lie.”
“No it hasn’t,” Hampsher was quick to defend. “You know the parts of me that matter most. You know that I love you.”
Rafeeq wanted to believe her but he couldn’t. “I’m just supposed to trust your word?”
“No, you trust the way I show you. I’ve always been nothing but honest in this relationship. I never pretended with you because I didn’t have to. You made loving you so easy that hating you because of who your father was became impossible.” Hampsher stole a quick glance. She wanted to touch him but it didn’t feel like the right time. Rafeeq didn’t believe a word that was coming from her and it bothered her. “If you don’t believe that anything else about this relationship was real believe that the love was. I never faked that. I never faked anything. The parts of my past that I kept to myself shouldn’t matter to you because in spite of it I still made an effort. I still gave you parts of myself that I never allowed another soul to have access to.” Her voice cracked as she admitted, “I literally had to give myself permission to fall for you. Now that I have, I just…” Hampsher trailed off unsure of where she was going with her words. “I don’t know how to deal with this.”
Rafeeq chuckled silently to himself. “And you think I do?” His head shook before he shot to his feet. “You tried to kill my old man, Hampsher. You expect me to believe that you love and give a fuck about me after you pull some shit like that? Even being here with you right now I feel like a fucking traitor because I love your ass too much to let you go, but I love my family too much to choose you, Hampsher.” He ran a hand down his face. “I can’t choose you over them when I hardly know who you are.”
Hampsher understood where he was coming from. She knew what he wanted to know about her. It surprised her that Rahmeek didn’t come out to his son about what he knew. He knew enough to bury Rafeeq’s curiosity. It would be best coming from Hampsher, she knew this, but would much rather the pressure be off her. If there was a way for Rafeeq to just know without her having to tell him she would go with that option. Hampsher wanted to be real with him. She just feared that once he learned about her that he would no longer love her.
“I don’t want you to stop loving me,” she admitted.
“What are you talking about? If I’m still fucking with you after you tried to kill my dad I’m sure there isn’t shit you could say to keep me away,” Rafeeq responded. His hand went to her belly. “Unless you tell me some shit like this isn’t my kid you’re carrying. We’ll definitely have some problems then.”
Hampsher watched as Rafeeq rubbed small circles in the middle of her stomach. His hand was strong. It felt like it belonged there. Hampsher’s eyes filled with water again. She felt like all the crying she’d been doing had to be a side effect of increased hormones.
“I can’t believe you’re having my baby,” Rafeeq mumbled as he came out of his belly worshipping trance.
Hampsher swallowed the lump in her throat. Everything was so off kilter with them that a particular question seared its way on the surface of her mind. Sighing deeply, she found the courage to ask, “Do you regret it? Me?”
Rafeeq’s hand on her belly paused as he processed her question. It tasted sour in his mouth. He shook his head and went back to rubbing her belly, “Nah.”
“Are you sure?”
Rafeeq removed his hand from her and balled it into a fist. “Why would I regret getting you pregnant Hampsher?” His voice raised slightly causing Hampsher to flinch. “Yeah, you did some shady shit but a nigga still has love for you in here,” he beat his hand against his chest hard. “No matter what you say or do the feeling won’t go away so no, I don’t regret it being you having my kid. Because despite you being secretive as fuck I know the type of woman you are. You’ll be a good mother.”
Hampsher shook her head as she looked at the wall straight ahead. “I don’t believe that.”
“What’s not to believe, Hampsher?”
“I didn’t grow up with a mother. Because of her death I wasn’t raised like a regular kid.” She shook her head while biting her bottom lip. “There was so much pressure on me that sometimes even as an adult I struggle with behaving like a normal human. I’m afraid that I’ll fuck up our child like my father did me.” She began to cry again, “I’ll never forgive myself if that happens.”
Rafeeq felt Hampsher’s fear. It thickened the air in the room to the point where she began to hyperventilate. Hopping to his feet Rafeeq positioned himself in front of her holding her cheeks between his palms. “Breathe baby,” he coached her through her panic attack. “Focus on me.” Hampsher did as she was told until her lungs opened up again. Rafeeq pushed strands of her hair away from her face.
“Has that happened before?” he wondered aloud. Hampsher shook her head no. “Don’t sc
are me like that. You may not be one of my favorite people right now, but you are carrying my favorite person inside of you. If you can’t breathe neither can my son. You gotta take it easy on yourself. It’s imperative.”
Hampsher listened to Rafeeq’s lecture. It sickened her how he spoke as if he cared about her, but only in reference to keeping the baby safe. Of course she wanted the same, however, she was selfish and yearned for his love too. Hampsher wasn’t sure that if she weren’t pregnant Rafeeq would truly be finished with her. Her body began to grow cold as sadness seeped into her pores.
“Did you hear me?” Rafeeq’s voice broke through the brick wall she was manufacturing around her heart.
“Huh? What?”
“I asked if you understood where I was coming from.”
Hampsher’s countenance fell. “Yeah, I’ll do better.” With a small smile she looked upward to where he stood towering over her. “Promise.”
The couple grew quiet as they both got lost in their complex minds. Rafeeq was wondering what he was doing while Hampsher wondered what came next. Without a doubt she most certainly wanted Rafeeq, but she knew it would be difficult for him. He didn’t trust her anymore. She only had herself to blame and in no way did it make her feel better about herself. She felt worst. If Rafeeq was truly the one as proclaimed time and time again, wouldn’t she have let him in already? If she trusted him with her heart why did he have to work so hard to get to see all of it? Hampsher began to wonder if she even understood what love was because all along she thought she’d been a good partner to Rafeeq. Truth was, she didn’t really know how to be.