Say My Name

by R K Knightly

  "You ever think of anything outside of impregnating me?" Elle asked with a raised brow.

  "What was that?" He pretended to be deaf. "I couldn't hear you over all the loud thoughts I have of you moaning my name as you come."

  Elle’s lips twitched and tugged, fighting her smile as her cheeks bloomed roses.

  "Let me go say goodbye to Colleen and Blake and then we can get going."

  Chapter 33

  "Mom? Is that you?"

  "Giselle, dear," her mother's soft voice breathed. "It's so good to hear from you finally."

  "Sorry it took me so long," Elle said into the phone. "It's been hectic here and this was the first time I had free that I knew you wouldn't be around anyone."

  It was 10 PM the following Monday night. Her mother always – always – used Monday nights as this time to do laundry. Even now, Elle could hear the dryer running in the background like white noise.

  "You could have called me at 3 AM," her mother told her. "I would have taken the call no matter what."

  Elle knew that, but she also knew that once they spoke, it would be emotional and that her mother would take hours to get back to sleep if she cried. That, or eat her feelings.

  "I know, but I'm asleep well before then as well," Elle told her. It was a half-truth. She was usually asleep by then, though sometimes Liam kept her up that late. The man was insatiable. Like he had stored up his sexual stamina for years waiting for her.

  "I know there are certain things we're not supposed to ask, which is why you're not calling your father's phone instead. Am I right?"

  Her mother was on the money. Her father would have drilled her with questions. Questions she couldn't answer. At least not yet. Someday, though...

  "You're right as usual, Mom," Elle told her. "I wish there was more that I could say, but just know this: I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm...not with Jeremiah anymore. I – I've got a different mate now and-"

  "Different mate? How can that be, Elle? Isn't your mate Jeremiah?"

  She knew she shouldn't have said anything. But this was her mother. Her. Mother. The woman who labored for hours when giving birth to her. If you couldn't trust your mom, who could you trust?

  "It...didn't work out," Elle said. "We're better off this way."

  "But the mate pull-"

  "All but gone," Elle interjected. "I feel almost nothing. He never marked me or anything, so there was nothing to lose in regards to the bond."

  "You were with him for six months, Elle! How could he not mark you?"

  And how could he go without announcing me as Luna for six months? Elle thought. Think, Mom, think.

  "Geez, I know, Mom," Elle said. "Quiet down, please. There's no need to get excited. This is...my mate now is much better than Jeremiah. He's...he's everything you would want in a son in mating. I promise."

  "Who is he, or can I not ask?"

  "Mom, if I answer that, I say too much," Elle said. "He's not...low ranking like you and me."

  "Is it...is he another Alpha? What about his mate?"

  "His mate is gone. Dead. Years ago, so there's no harm in us being together."

  "But Jeremiah-"

  "He'll come after me, I know," Elle said on a sigh. "But, it won't be for the right reasons. Not now, not ever."

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "Mom, I can't stay on for much longer, but I did want to ask you something," Elle said. Silence greeted her. "Do we have a relative by the name of Jackson Kincaid? Who is he?"

  She heard her mother breathe in. Then out.

  "Jackson is your first cousin. Your Uncle James' son. He...he’s not a good person – at least he wasn't when I knew him. He acted alright at first, but he was rotten. To the core. If you ever meet him, stay away."

  "What? Why? What did he do?"

  "Just – just be safe, Giselle. And stay away from Jackson if you ever meet him. I...I have to go now. The dryer's almost done, and I don't want the clothing to wrinkle."

  The line cut off and Elle knew she had to meet this Jackson. Even if everyone in her life warned her away from the man.

  ∞∞∞

  Elle thought of ways she could get to see Jackson the next day. She didn't know if Liam had requested total solitary confinement for the man who was probably her cousin, but she didn't think he would have thought to tell the guards to order them not to let her into the cells.

  At least Liam would be gone for a few hours having to deal with some business in town. Blake was pretty much in charge. Conley...well, Conley was doing his job as an Elder and was visiting another neighboring pack. It would have been suspicious had he only come to upstate New York and visited Blackriver. He would be gone several hours as well.

  After Elle took a shower, she put her long hair up in a messy bun to keep it off her neck. A pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and jacket were donned, and she walked to the door after mindlinking with Liam that she would be heading over to Colleen's.

  Two warriors followed her to Colleen and Blake's home. They looked a little like Secret Service as one walked in front of her, the other staying behind. She felt somewhat ridiculous. In the middle of the day, with members of the pack out and about. Jeremiah would have been crazy to attack right now.

  As she made her way over to Colleen's, she hoped to God that the woman would be sympathetic to her need to see the man in the cells. She didn't know why, but it seemed imperative, now more than ever, to meet with him. There was something missing to his story, and she was determined to find out.

  Her guards left her at the front porch at Colleen's and stood on either side of the door while Elle knocked. The smiling redhead opened the door and Elle was ushered inside with a hug and some well-meaning chatter.

  "Col, stop." Colleen's incessant rambling was giving her a headache and keeping her from saying what needed to be said. "I have to go down to the cells and speak with the prisoner. I don't know how much longer he'll be alive. I need your help."

  "What? Why?" Colleen questioned. "Can't your two bodyguards out there escort you?"

  Elle shook her head. "They'll try to clear it with Liam first and Liam doesn't want me to see the man they have."

  "Why not?"

  "The man...he says he's related to me, though I don't remember him," Elle explained. "He says he came here to bring me back to Jeremiah because he wanted to get back at my father for some wrong he did to him."

  "You don't know what happened?"

  "No, I can't remember anything from when I supposedly knew him," Elle said helplessly. "It's like there is a big gaping hole in my memory. I mean, I was young, yeah, but I have many memories from before my aunt came to live with us with her children. I don't understand why I can't remember anything about them." Or him.

  "And you think meeting with him will jog your memory?" Colleen guessed.

  "I’m hoping so."

  "Why not leave it be? I mean, how memorable can a kid's shit be? Maybe he pushed you down the stairs or pantsed you in front of your childhood crush. I honestly can't see what good it will do to meet with him," Colleen told her.

  "Please, just help me get away from those two oafs outside so I can visit with him. Just for a few minutes," Elle begged.

  Colleen pursed her lips and shook her head.

  "I should say no," she said. "I think there's probably a damned good reason that you should leave this well enough alone, but...I can't. You're my friend, Elle. My best friend outside of Blake and Liam, and if you think you need these answers, I'll help you."

  "But...how?"

  "Leave that to me," Colleen said with a wink.

  Colleen, being the hospitable Beta female she was, invited the two warriors into her home. She got their names – Eli and Warren – and invited them inside for something to drink and a snack. She made a killer apple pie and offered them some while practically pushing Elle to one of the back rooms of the house.

  "Go out this window and head straight to the tree line," Colleen whispered to her. "There's a large oak tree with a w
alnut tree near to it. You'll be able to tell because all the nuts have already fallen off and are crunchy under your feet. Smack dab in the middle of the two trees, there's a door in the forest floor. That's where the cells are."

  Colleen practically pushed her through the window, and Elle dropped to the ground. There were only a couple of feet to fall, but she still landed off-balance and wobbled. When she was completely upright again, she walked swiftly towards the woods, looking for a large oak next to a walnut tree. There were several oaks in the woods along the tree line, but only one walnut tree, so it was relatively easy to find.

  "Bingo," Elle breathed out and walked to the space between the two trees.

  Hollow. And the ground had some give when she bounced on her feet a bit.

  Getting onto her knees, Elle searched for the handle Colleen had told her about earlier. It was covered by leaves and a pat of moss, but once she found it she stepped back to pull the heavy door open to get inside.

  It was dark, and she heard a slight cough come from somewhere down below. A dim light could be seen reflecting off the stairs heading down.

  Mustering up all the courage she could, she started to walk down the steep set of stairs and saw that once she was at the bottom, the hallway went on for some time before it veered off to the right. When she turned to the right at the end of the hallway, she saw two men standing guard near a cell door and the sounds of cackling laughter could be heard from beyond them.

  "I would recognize your scent from anywhere," a deep voice rumbled. "Good to see you again. Cousin."

  ∞∞∞

  "Giselle! Wait up!" Lena's small, kittenish voice called out from behind her.

  "Come on up here! It's great!" Giselle called from the top of the ladder. "Daddy made it for my birthday."

  They were soon in a largish tree house that Roger Kincaid had spent many hours laboring over. When asking what his daughter had wanted for her seventh birthday, Giselle had said, "a tree house", without any hesitation. It was easy enough to make for an educated man like Roger.

  "I'm hungry," Aaron whined. He was the youngest of her Uncle James' kids at the age of 5. Lena was 9, and their oldest brother was 14. Since he was a teen, he didn't hang out with his younger siblings much, preferring to hang around with kids his own age.

  "I'll go get some snacks," Lena said and started to descend the ladder Giselle's father had built against the wide tree trunk in their backyard.

  "I'm coming too!" Aaron piped up, and followed after her sister.

  "You want anything?" Lena called back over her shoulder at Giselle.

  "Nope. I'm good."

  "Be back in a few," Lena called and started to speed-walk back to the house.

  Giselle kept some of her favorite toys in the treehouse now. She had spent many hours in it since her father had built the house for her, and she had slowly made it into more of a toy house than a tree house.

  There was a small radio that ran on batteries if she wanted to listen to music, and a tiny TV set that she hadn't figured out how to get a signal on. Still, it was her little home away from home and she practically lived in it the past month since it's grand unveiling.

  Heavy footsteps up the ladder outside signaled that her cousins were back.

  Only they weren't. Not the ones she was expecting, anyway.

  "Hi, Jackson," Giselle said as she turned the power on for the radio. She liked listening to one of the oldies stations and “Blue Moon” was in the middle of playing when she tuned it in to the right frequency.

  "Hiya, squirt," he said, using his nickname for her. Giselle had always been smaller than average for her age, so the nickname had stuck after he first used it.

  "Stop calling me that'," Giselle scolded. "I'm much bigger than the last time you saw me."

  "You're still a squirt to me," Jackson said as he moseyed over to where she was fiddling with the radio. "Whatcha doin'?"

  "Playing the radio and waiting for Aaron and Lena to get back. Aaron was hungry."

  "Aaron's always hungry," Jackson told her. "He's gonna be a big guy when he gets older. Takes after..." He trailed off. His brows crinkled, as if in distress.

  Yeah – his dad. The man that died and landed his mother with three kids on the Kincaids' front doorstep.

  Not that Roger or Mary Ellen Kincaid minded. Family was family, and unless they did something unforgivable, you pretty much had to deal with them.

  "Your dad," Giselle said. "I get it. I'm sorry he's gone."

  Jackson shrugged, acting as if it was no big deal.

  "He's gone. It's done," he said. "No need to dwell on the past, I say."

  "Yeah, but – he was your dad," Giselle said. "You don't get another one."

  "It's cool, kid," Jackson said. "Just drop it already."

  Drop it she did. Jackson always closed up when the topic of his father came up. That or he simply just walked away. Hiding.

  "Want to play Barbies with me?" Giselle asked, trying to cheer her cousin up.

  "Naw, I've got better shit to do." He paused. "In fact, I have a better game we can play."

  "What is it? Monopoly? Life?" They were two of her favorite board games.

  "Those are kids’ games," he said offhandedly. "You want to play a grown-up game with me instead?"

  Giselle's brows puckered. Grown-up games to her were cards. Like poker, or perhaps Trivial Pursuit.

  "Is it fun for kids?"

  "It's fun for all ages, kiddo," Jackson said. "But you have to do something first."

  "What's that?"

  "You have to take off all your clothing to play this game."

  Jackson was her cousin. Family. He wouldn't do anything bad to his family.

  Would he?

  Chapter 34

  The sudden memory was so potent, so devastating, it almost dropped Elle to her knees. Her breath came out in rasping exhales and wheezing inhales as she fought wobbly knees to move forward.

  "Luna-" one of the guards started to say.

  "What is your name?" Elle asked him, cutting him off.

  "It's Adrian," he told her, completely at odds with himself on what to do. The Alpha hadn't said that their Luna could not visit the prisoner, but he hadn't sounded like he was kidding when he said that the man was to be kept in complete solitude from other wolves either.

  "Adrian," Elle said, thanking God her voice sounded stronger than she felt. "This is my cousin, Jackson. I am not going to let him go free because he has done far worse to me than anyone else ever has." Even Jeremiah, in a sense.

  "Little cousin," croaked Jackson. "So good to see family in this hell hole you call a cell. Do you realize how many rats infest this...place you call my new domicile?"

  Elle moved forward and spoke directly at him. She hoped those rats bit his dick off in his sleep. Poetic justice of a sort.

  "I'll call the Orkin man as soon as I've said my piece," she told him coldly, blinking once.

  The man looked horrible. He smelled even worse. She wondered how the guards in charge of him could even come within twenty feet of the man. It was obvious that he hadn't bathed in a very long time.

  She was caught between her pity for the guards' sensitive olfactory receptors and the little bit of joy Jackson might take from even a cold shower to scrub away the layers of grime.

  "Then please, have at it, squirt." The man had the audacity to smile at her.

  "You abused me when I was a child," she told him.

  "That is not news to either of us." He didn't deny the fact of his trespasses.

  "You took advantage of a family member."

  "Again, we both know this," he said, as if disappointed in her idea of conversation.

  "Why?"

  The man – animal – shrugged at her as if he couldn't find it in himself to care less.

  "I was bored," he said.

  There was a pregnant pause.

  "Not good enough," she told him.

  He thought deeply, his eyes wandering to the ceiling before speak
ing.

  "I've always had...urges that most men do not suffer from," he said. "Even in my early teens I knew there was something wrong with me, something not quite right. The day...the day my father died, he had found out we were being exiled from our pack."

  "Why? Why were you being exiled?"

  "Me, of course," the man said, looking at Elle as if she was stupid. "I had molested a small child and the Alpha had found out. Since I was still considered a pup, there was no way my family was going to leave me. It would have been cruel-"

  "As cruel as the molestation of a child?" Elle interjected, unbelieving. Again, the man only shrugged.

  "It most likely would have meant my death if I was made rogue as a pup," he told her.

  "A just verdict for a person as foul as you." Her eyes narrowed in on him.

  Jackson continued as if she hadn't spoken her disdain.

  "The Beta found me with the girl I...touched." Elle scoffed at his words. He was downplaying his part to the best of his abilities it seemed. "He went to the Alpha and spoke with him. He was a different man than your Jeremiah, little wolf. He was a good man, and knew what was right and what was wrong. When my father returned home that night, we were turned out of our house. We were left with nothing. My father couldn't believe I would do such a thing and went into a rage when we were exiled. He went into a hysterical state and had to be...put down. Like a rabid dog."

  While Elle felt bad at the loss of a parent – anyone's parent – there was little else she felt for him at that moment. She was too numbed by the shock of her own sudden memories, disgusted by them even.

  "Why do you have something against me? Why me?" Elle asked. The man looked over at her and smiled. Elle growled back.

  "My mother and siblings came to your family at Blackriver. We were desperate," Jackson said. "Your parents knew very little as to why my father went berserk. They just knew that we had been exiled and made rogue. Your father pleaded with your Alpha at the time, and he reluctantly let us in. After all, it was my father that went insane and not us. He just didn't know why.

  "After you and I had our little game, I convinced you to be quiet about it and, for a while, you complied. But kids like you can never stay quiet for long and you ended up telling your mother what happened. Your father had a talk with the Alpha and he kicked us out. Even if your mate is a complete shithead, it doesn't mean his father was altogether loathsome, squirt."