My Whole World

by Davidson King

I could see in Toby’s gaze his need for forgiveness and how badly I wanted to give it to him.

  “Your lies were nothing like what Joker did, Toby. I get that, maybe not in the moment when Desi told me everything, but why you did it? The motivation. I get it. You never did it to hurt anyone, you did it to save everyone.”

  “Thank you,” Toby said so quietly, had I not been right there, I probably would’ve missed it. We were silent for a moment before Toby spoke again.

  “Can I ask what happened to that guy Sal?” I knew he’d want to know.

  “It’s Haven Hart, Toby.” I smiled. “He pissed off a mob boss and he was wiped out.”

  He nodded in understanding. “So you named the place after something a dead piece of shit called you the night he murdered the love of your life?”

  Chuckling, I said, “Ciro, Max, and Ledger all said the same thing. But yeah. It’s a reminder.”

  “To what? Not love anyone?”

  “No, Toby, it’s a reminder that love truly is the most powerful thing out there. It’s also the most dangerous.”

  He cocked his head, his lips quirked. “Power and love aren’t always bad, Atlas.”

  I never got to respond to that because a nurse came in a second later, saying Toby had to have scans. I was able to follow and stand outside the testing room. When we entered Toby’s room a couple of hours later, we were both starving.

  The doctor said it would be okay if I ordered something from the diner since Toby wasn’t on any dietary restrictions. So, for the rest of the afternoon we sat, ate, and kept the conversation light. We’d both had enough heavy for one day. Something told me things were going to get worse before they got better.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Toby

  Desi and Poppy returned shortly after four, and the doctor came to talk with us before Atlas had to leave.

  “Good news, Toby. You can be released Monday.” The doctor addressed the rest of the room. “I’ll keep him here another day to have a physical therapist come by to speak with Toby. He needs to keep the sling on for a while longer, but there are things he can do. He will need to schedule PT, though. The scans showed no bleeds or anything of great concern. The stitches are dissolvable, so let them do their thing. However, he needs to take it easy for at least a week or two.”

  “I need to work.” It was a response born from instinct, thinking I had to work. For all I knew, I didn’t have a job anymore.

  “I’m his boss, he’s fine. Go on, Doc.” He shot me a glare I wanted to return, but he wasn’t firing me. I still had a job.

  “Right,” the doctor continued, “he will need help, likely showering and such until he can comfortably do it on his own. We don’t realize how much we rely on two arms and hands until one isn’t there.”

  “Well, I can help some,” Poppy said but I knew she couldn’t, and she wasn’t going to want to see her brother naked. And lord knew, I didn’t want her to see me naked.

  “Not to worry, Doc. We’ll figure it all out. He can stay with me for a week or so until he gets his groove back.”

  I sputtered, Poppy laughed, and the doc…well, he was happy with that. I decided to wait until he was out of the room to stand my ground on this.

  “I’m not leaving Poppy alone. In case you forgot, Atlas, Vick’s crazy and probably wants to kill us both.”

  “I know. Vick sent me a note that he was done playing games.” Atlas leaned over my bed, an inch from my face. “I’m not playing with him, Toby.”

  “Why are you just telling me this now?”

  “I’m a big girl, Toby,” Poppy interrupted Atlas’s and my conversation.

  “I’ll stay with her,” Desi said, and what the fuck was going on?

  “Perfect. Desi’s got Poppy. I do think it’s safer she not stay at their place, though.” I listened as Atlas, Desi, and Poppy came up with a temporary plan until they knew how to deal with Vick. My mind was still reeling over Vick’s threats.

  “I’ll be back in the morning. I’m not working, so I can stay the night here, and then Monday, I’ll take Toby to my place.”

  “Do I get any say in this?”

  “Not really,” Poppy said at the same time Atlas and Desi said no. And a part of me wanted to argue, but a bigger part felt cared for, safe…safer than I’d felt in a long time. So I relented.

  “Fine.”

  Atlas kissed the top of my head and left. Poppy was smiling, and Desi chuckled.

  “I knew you two would be okay,” she said as she turned the TV on and settled in.

  The following morning, after a restless sleep brought on by worry over Poppy’s safety and dreams about what Atlas had gone through with Joker, Atlas arrived with Ciro and a woman I didn’t recognize. Poppy and Desi said they’d go get breakfast, seeing as the room was really crowded now.

  “Morning,” Atlas said and kissed my forehead. “This is Tracey Wilding; she’s a detective with the Haven Hart Police Department.”

  “Call me TJ,” she said, extending her hand. I shook it with my good hand but eyed Ciro and Atlas. Were they serious? They wanted me to talk to the police? Tracey, or TJ as she preferred, laughed. “The look on your face is priceless, Toby.”

  “I’ve known TJ for a real long time, Toby,” Ciro said. “She’s one of the good ones; she may be able to help us.”

  She had a kind smile, her brown hair with wine-colored tints was up in a ponytail, and her dark, squared glasses shimmered under the light. She was wearing jeans and a sweat shirt, so I was under the impression she wasn’t on official police business.

  “I know an Officer Milne came to see you yesterday,” she said, to which I nodded. “Yeah, he’s got questionable morals and no loyalty. All you’d have to do is outbid whoever’s paying him, and he’d be yours.”

  “If there are so many corrupt cops, why doesn’t anyone do anything about it?” I asked the obvious question.

  “When corruption goes all the way to the top, it’s not easy.” Her expression was somber.

  “Why do you stay?”

  She shrugged at my question. “I guess I’ve always been one of those people who believes one person can make a difference.”

  “So tell us, TJ, what do you think you can do to help us if so many above you are gonna do everything in their power to dismantle any justice you try to uphold?” Atlas asked as he sat in the chair beside my bed.

  “That’s the thing, Atlas—we have a lot of corrupt cops, but they don’t all work for the same asshole.”

  Ciro chuckled, and I knew I was missing something.

  “I can go to Vick’s, arrest him and Liberio, hold them for maybe twenty-four hours, but they’ll get out and be quite pissed.”

  “Twenty-four hours could be enough time. A lot happens in a day.” I believed what Atlas was saying.

  “Agreed, but in that twenty-four hours, we need to have a solid plan so that when Vick Keller is released, he’s walking out with no help and no army.”

  “So what do you recommend, TJ?” Ciro asked, but the light in his eyes told me he knew.

  “Aside from me believing that one person can change things, I also believe the line in the movie Demolition Man.” She grinned, and I was trying to remember what line she was referring to.

  “The line about licking meat?” Atlas asked, and we all laughed.

  “No,” TJ said. “We send a maniac to catch a maniac.”

  “You know of such a maniac?” I was worried this may get out of hand.

  It was Atlas who answered. He took my hand, and I looked over at him. “That guy, the one who killed Joker, remember how I told you what happened to him?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He pissed off someone bigger than him.”

  Oh. “You want to get some big bad guy to take care of Vick for us?” He nodded. “Who?”

  “That’s what I’m going to find out,” TJ answered. “I’m going to do some digging. See what Vick is into and maybe work out what district and who may help us without even realiz
ing it.”

  “What do we do in the meantime?” I asked.

  “You’ll rest today, and tomorrow I’ll take you to my place, where you’ll heal and hopefully when you’re able to function better, TJ will have some answers.”

  “That’s a good plan,” she said. “I’ll be in touch with Ciro. You all stay safe.” She said good-bye and left with Ciro.

  “What do I do while you’re working?” It would mean I’d be left alone at his place.

  “I spoke with the security of my building. No one is getting up to my penthouse. I’ll be with you until about five every night and be back right after closing. You’re not incapable, you just need some help. It’ll be fine, we can work it out.”

  He seemed so confident, I had no reason to burst his bubble, so I said okay and left it at that. I had no doubt I was going to go stir-crazy.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Atlas

  I paid my cleaning service to come by Sunday evening to really clean my place and change all the sheets. I explained to them that I was going to be having a guest, so they promised to clean from top to bottom in the guest room. I also made sure the fridge and cabinets were filled, so there was plenty of food. I couldn’t believe how nervous I was to have Toby staying with me.

  By the time he was discharged Monday morning, Toby was antsy. He got upset when they wouldn’t let him walk out of there, and he had to get wheeled out. His sister saying at least he could get out of it shut him up real fast.

  Desi was renting a small place on the outskirts of Haven Hart where he’d keep Poppy protected, and Ciro would do apartment runs when it was needed. Keeping the St. Claire twins safe was our top priority.

  “Wow, you live here?” Toby said as he slowly made his way into the penthouse. It was an overcast day, so the windows painted a picture of gloom over an unscrupulous city.

  “Yeah. I bought it after I opened Joker’s Sin. I wanted to be above it all.” It was true, and the vulnerable feeling, being so exposed to Toby, was hard for me.

  “It’s gorgeous, Atlas.” Toby moved over to one of the windows and laughed. “It’s so scary and exhilarating.”

  “That’s exactly how I felt the first time I stood there too.” I let him take it all in for a few minutes. “Let me show you to your room.” He followed behind me, and I placed a couple of his bags on the bed.

  “This room is the size of my entire apartment.” He scanned his surroundings in wonderment.

  The walls were slate gray with white trim and a speckled black, white, and gray carpet. The windows were floor-to-ceiling like the rest of the penthouse. It was a king-sized bed with a gray-and-black comforter. The en suite, which Toby was walking into currently, had a Jacuzzi tub, a shower stall, and a toilet. But it was spacious.

  “Do you like it?” I asked as he stepped back into the room.

  “It’s beautiful. Thanks for doing this, Atlas.”

  I moved over to Toby, crowding him slightly. The scent of hospital was strong on him, and I knew he probably wanted to clean up. But I had to say something.

  “Please don’t thank me. None of this should’ve ever happened to you or to me. But it has. I’ve faced some shit here in Haven Hart. I could tell you more stories. And I’ve thought of leaving so many times. But I built this and if one day I leave, it’ll be my choice. I won’t have anyone like Vick Keller pushing me out.”

  “I’d love to hear those stories,” he said with a coy expression.

  “And maybe if you’re good, I’ll tell you one.”

  “Oh?” He raised a brow.

  “You need a bath, so that means you’ll need my help.” I was sure getting naked in front of me wasn’t on the top of things he wanted to do today and if he did, not like this.

  “Are you trying to get me naked?” Toby was flirting.

  If he wasn’t all banged up, I’d lift him, press him against the wall, and kiss him breathless. As it was, I needed to be tender with him.

  “I very well might be.” I winked and walked into the bathroom. Opening the drawer by the sink, I took out a few different bubble baths. “What’s your favorite?”

  He smirked and examined each one. “Oh, this looks good.” He popped the top with his thumb and sniffed. “Sandalwood and vanilla?” None of them had names since I bought them at the farmers market. Just the logo of the husband-wife duo who made them.

  “Very good.”

  He handed it to me, and I moved to the tub, making sure the water was hot but not scorching. I poured a little of the bubbles in and when I was happy with the amount, I turned around. Toby had managed to get his sweat pants off but was having trouble with the shirt.

  “Let me help. We have to take the sling off to get the shirt off, then get it back on.” As carefully as possible, I removed the sling. Toby held his arm close to his body. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to get this shirt off without hurting him.

  “Is this a favorite shirt of yours?”

  “No…why?” He furrowed his brows.

  “Like if I spilled bleach on it while doing laundry, would you be mad?”

  “Are you telling me you’re bad at doing laundry?” He chuckled.

  “No, um. Just…” I took the collar in both hands and tore at it until it was ripped open.

  “Oh. That’s why you were asking. Yeah, it’s okay if you rip my shirt off…oh never mind, you already did.” I could tell by his expression he wasn’t mad.

  “I’ll make sure Ciro brings button-down shirts.”

  “Probably wise.”

  When he was just in his boxers and socks, I took a moment to look at him. I hadn’t really seen the rest of his body but as I took it in, I saw the bruises. How much of his skin was black and blue, yellow and purple.

  “Hey.” Toby, still holding his bad arm close, reached out, and placed his other hand on my arm. “I’m okay. I am.”

  “I can’t wait until Vick pays.” I could hear the growl in my voice, but it didn’t frighten Toby; he grinned.

  “Well, tiger, can I bathe first?”

  Realizing he was holding his injured arm, I grabbed the sling and helped get it back on. I leaned down and removed his socks.

  “I’m going to remove your boxers now.”

  “Yeah,” his voice cracked. “Good idea.”

  I tried to give him dignity as I divested him of his boxers. But there was no way to ignore his erection when it sprang up and was an inch from my face.

  “Well, damn,” I whispered.

  “You have that effect on it,” Toby said, and I chuckled.

  “Let’s get you both washed up.” My cock was trying to break free from the confines of my jeans, and as much as I wanted to take him in my mouth and taste him, I wouldn’t take advantage of him.

  I helped him into the tub. “Oh, hold on, I have an idea,” I said and rushed into the kitchen. I grabbed a plastic bag.

  “What’s that?”

  Carefully I tucked his arm and sling in the bag. “Just in case, so the sling won’t get wet.”

  He smiled. “That’s genius.”

  Toby rested his head back and closed his eyes. I was about to leave when he spoke. “Aren’t you going to wash me?” He never opened his eyes, but he wore a playful smirk.

  “I suppose I can do that.”

  I grabbed a washcloth, squirted some body wash on it, got it all soapy, and started with his good shoulder and arm.

  “Before you get out, we’ll wash your hair.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  I was doing just fine, trying not to think about how his body felt as I washed him. Then I reached his cock and he hummed. Fuck.

  Chapter Thirty

  Toby

  The second Atlas brought the washcloth to my very hard cock, I couldn’t stop the sound from leaving me. Even though I was sore—I ached in all the wrong places—and my arm was in a sling, I wanted him. I wanted him so fucking bad.

  “It’s going to be weird jacking myself later with my other hand…n
ever did that before.”

  “Shit,” Atlas whispered and damn, it felt good to see him so flustered.

  “Unless, maybe…” I didn’t know when it was that I became so bold. The man used to terrify me in the best way; he was almost godly and unapproachable. But here, like this, going through all this shit, I saw that he was human. He was gorgeous and took my breath away, but he was carrying a past that weighed on him. He forgave me, and damn, if the lust-filled gaze he shot my way said anything, he wanted me too.

  “Maybe…” He plopped the washcloth onto the floor, I didn’t break eye contact. “I can’t have you hurting yourself,” he said, and then I felt his hand grip my cock.

  “Holy fuck.” I almost shot from his touch alone.

  “So responsive.” He hummed as he moved his fist up and down my shaft, agonizingly slow. “Damn, Toby, you’re so hard.”

  “Shit, shit, shit.” Apparently, I couldn’t word. Wording wasn’t a thing I did anymore.

  “Gonna come for me?” He reached up, and when he pinched my nipple, I tried not to jolt my leg and splash water everywhere.

  “Shit, Atlas, fuck.”

  “You okay?” He stopped moving his hand, concern adorning his face.

  “Yes, please don’t stop.”

  The deep chuckle sounded dirty and perfect and yes, he started jacking me faster. With my good hand, I gripped the tub; I wanted it to last and needed it to end. Shit, just him touching me was electrifying my entire body. I could feel him in my toes, my hair. Mother of all things…

  “Oh, God, yes, yes.”

  “Yeah, come on, Toby, come for me, let me see you come apart.”

  His words, his feel, his smell, it was too much. A kaleidoscope of colors burst behind my lids as the most powerful orgasm ripped through me. My pulse throbbed in my ears, my toes curled, and fucking Christ, I was gasping for air.

  “Now that’s gorgeous,” I heard Atlas say, and when I opened my eyes, he was right in front of me. I never got to speak before his mouth was on mine, kissing and licking. If he didn’t stop, I’d be hard again in no time.