My Whole World

by Davidson King

“We need to clean up and pass out,” he said as he rested his head against the cushion.

  “Or we can just pass out and wash later.”

  He rolled his head, facing me. “Wanna take a nap with me on the couch?”

  I wanted it more than anything at that moment. “Yeah.”

  He lifted a small console on the other side of him and pushed the button, reclining the couch and extending its footrests.

  “Fancy.”

  He laughed, and within seconds his eyes were closed. I rested my head on his shoulder, my arm secure, but couldn’t find sleep as easily.

  My mind was racing with everything that happened tonight, and the more I thought about it, the more I could see Vick was behind it all. On the ride over to Atlas’s place, I told him how all the dots connected. From an unexplained water delivery, to Vick being glad to hear about everything I told him about Joker’s Sin, and the other night when Atlas said a few of Vick’s men got into the club. Sure, he said he got them out before anything happened, but maybe one was able to fuck with the mechanics, and that was why Ledger couldn’t shut the water off. There were too many variables, and they all pointed at one person: Vick Keller. Maybe I wasn’t as paranoid as I thought.

  With Atlas fast asleep, I focused on his breathing and within minutes, I was closing my eyes. Surprisingly, we slept for a solid six hours before our phones started going off.

  For me it was Poppy, asking what was going on and me having to explain everything I knew. Of course she agreed about Vick being responsible. For Atlas it was Max and Ledger, a police officer, and his lawyer. We spent the rest of our day dealing with everyone and by that evening, we were spent and ready for the day to just end. There was nothing more we could do at that point, and we were good and done.

  Regardless of anything, tomorrow was coming…whether we were ready for it or not.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Atlas

  Ciro arrived at my apartment that afternoon, said he heard from TJ, and she would certainly have news by the end of the week. Knowing I’d have to wait made me realize how much of my life was consumed by Joker’s Sin. Without handling club business Toby and I hung around the apartment. It was nice having him there, I just wished it wasn’t out of fear.

  When Friday came, I had to take Toby to the doctor, where we were hoping the sling could come off. Part of me was glad he would have the use of both his arms; the other part was fear. I kept putting off doing more with Toby because of his arm and not wanting to hurt him—at least that was what I told him. Every passing day my feelings for him grew. I loved how he ate, laughed, told jokes and messed them up. Even seeing him sleep-rumpled in the morning or cursing out his sling was adorable. And amid the seriousness of what happened at Joker’s Sin, I was able to find happiness with Toby. And the only other person who’d ever had that power was Joker.

  Just thinking his name made my heart ache, and an odd twinge of betrayal twisted my gut. I knew it was ridiculous to think I was cheating on him, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Good news. I think you can take this off, but you’re going to need to start PT,” the orthopedic doctor said.

  “Oh, thank heavens.” Toby smiled so brightly.

  “If you give me a list of therapists, I’ll make an appointment.”

  “Sure, head over to reception, and I’ll have it printed out.”

  I told Toby I’d meet him there, and I went and got the list. A few stated they traveled, and I knew I’d feel better if they came to my place instead of taking Toby to them. Especially with us all having bullseyes on our head.

  “All set?” Toby asked as he joined me.

  “Yep, how’s it feel?”

  Shrugging, he said, “Little sore but wow, I’m so glad to be free of it.” He held the sling in his hand. “He said if it starts to be too sore or after PT, I may need it.”

  Fair enough. “How about we grab something for lunch and eat it at my place?”

  We stepped outside, and the gorgeous sun shone down on us. “It’s beautiful out, can’t we just eat it in the park?” He pointed to the park across from the hospital.

  I hated being out in the open, but then again, it was broad daylight, and the park was filled with people. There were food carts all around, so I agreed it would be nice. We made our way over, each getting a hot dog and fries with a water, and sat under a tree.

  It was easy to tell Toby was happy to be free of the sling. He hummed with each bite and lifted his face to the sun. I almost forgot to eat, I was so lost in how stunning and carefree he was in that moment.

  When Toby caught me gawking, he simply smiled. I didn’t look away, and in that quiet moment, with the sun streaming on us, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to escape my feelings for him.

  “So, no sling.” Toby tossed the offending contraption onto my couch and quirked his lips. “I was thinking.”

  “Well, that’s dangerous.” Thirsty, I went to my kitchen to get a glass of water, and Toby followed.

  “Atlas, I know we can’t go anywhere, really. I mean we can, but self-preservation and all that.”

  I chuckled and retrieved a glass, filling it. “Right, go on.”

  “I guess what I’m asking…” He took a couple of steps toward me until he was only a few inches from my body, and I could feel his electricity, how it wrapped around me. “Atlas, I’d like to cook for you tonight, and I want to call it a date.”

  It was a good thing I’d swallowed the water, or I would’ve choked. He was so sincere, and that familiar terror of betrayal beat against my chest. But, there was really no reason to tell him no.

  “Okay, sure. That sounds nice, Toby.”

  He did this little excited hop, clapped his hands together, and winced. “Okay, no clapping yet, but yay!”

  I chuckled, drained my water, and grinned. “Need help?”

  “Nope. I got this, it’s all me, shoo, skedaddle!”

  “Well, it’s only two in the afternoon, you need to start now?”

  He looked at the clock and bit his lip. “Okay, so maybe not skedaddle yet.”

  I did end up spending an hour in the kitchen with Toby while he asked me a million questions about allergies, likes and dislikes, and by the end of it, I had no idea what he was planning on making.

  “Okay, go get ready. I’m going to cook and then inform you when our date is to begin.”

  With a shake of my head and a grin, I did as I was told. I showered slowly, then chose something comfortable but nice for our date. Every few minutes that familiar pang of guilt and sadness would hit, but I’d push it down. I didn’t know if Joker would like Toby. I did know that I did and while there was baggage with Toby, and he’d lied, it wasn’t anything like what Joker did. But I loved Joker still, and breaking away from that was hard.

  When I was ready, I went and sat in the living room, turned on the news, and waited. The aroma was mouthwatering, and I knew it was going to be delicious. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had cooked for me outside of going to a restaurant.

  I had assumed Toby was in the kitchen, but when he stepped out of the guest room, wearing a wine-colored long-sleeved shirt and khakis, with his hair styled and just a hint of make-up, he surprised me.

  “Oh,” he said. “You look amazing.”

  I stood and moved closer to him, loving how he craned his neck to meet my eyes. “You’re looking pretty damn amazing yourself.” I met his lips in a chaste kiss, not wanting to get too lost in him quite yet. I needed to go slow for me, and knowing Toby was still healing, I didn’t want to hurt him.

  “I hope you’re hungry.” His tone was flirty, indicating he didn’t just mean for food.

  “Famished.”

  “Good, let’s eat and see where the night takes us.”

  He’d made a delicious lemon-pepper chicken with wild rice and carrots. There were biscuits, and he must’ve found a bottle of wine, because it rested in a bucket of ice. I had a small table in the kitchen which he had set for two and for a bri
ef moment, it was hard to breathe. It was more than just a dinner tonight. I knew that.

  “Looks and smells incredible.”

  He beamed. “Sit, I’ll get everything.”

  As much as I wanted to help him, I knew he was loving doing all this; the sheer look of joy on his face told me that. So, I sat as he plated our food, and when he was sitting across from me, I took a breath.

  “Wine?” I asked.

  “Oh, yes!”

  I filled our glasses, and we began eating. We talked about why he chose purple highlights in his hair, and then I explained to him the process of washing my braids. He found that insanely interesting and asked a million questions. It was light and we laughed a lot. I could’ve stayed in that moment forever.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Toby

  Being stuck inside for our own safety had never been so amazing. For a short time, I was able to forget all the threats beyond the penthouse. I had Atlas’s undivided attention, and while I wouldn’t have wanted anything to ever happen to Joker’s Sin, I was grateful to have his company.

  “That was delicious, Toby.” Atlas wiped his mouth and relaxed in his chair.

  “Thanks.” I wanted to get up, walk over to him, and straddle his lap. But I also wanted to have him on his back and lick every inch of him.

  “What do we do next on this date?”

  I had options here. I could play coy, ask him to watch a movie, cuddle, hoping it went to dirty fabulous places. Or I could just go for broke.

  “I want to have you for dessert,” I blurted out. Me forgetting how to use words was becoming some sort of thing when I was around Atlas and sex was involved.

  He blinked, but nothing else. “Is that right?” Scanning my face, he smirked. “And where would you have me?”

  Oh, shit. For real? He’s going to let me have him? “Not here.”

  Atlas took pity on me, stood, and held out his hand. “Come with me.”

  I slid my hand in his and followed him, not knowing where he was going to take me at first, but when he started leading me down the hallway to where his bedroom was, happy horny butterflies began dancing in my stomach.

  I had given Atlas his privacy the entire time I was here; the few times we messed around were in the bathroom, my room, or the living room. When he was at work, I never went into his bedroom and snooped. That wasn’t who I was. So when I stepped foot into his room for the first time, it was everything I thought it would be. Splashes of purple and black painted the walls, a deep plum-colored comforter adorned the bed. Large windows, like the rest of the place, were framed by black curtains. The city twinkled and the moon was full.

  “Where do you want me?” he asked.

  “Um…bed, yeah, bed, totally bed.”

  He chuckled and sat, clothes and all.

  Oh, my God. I’ve had sex before. Why am I so nervous?

  “Now what?”

  “Shit, I’m messing this up.”

  He crooked his finger in a “come here” gesture. “Let me help you.”

  I wanted that. I stepped between his spread legs. His hands slid behind my thighs, cupping my ass.

  “How about we get rid of our clothes and go from there?” I nodded, because yeah, words weren’t my friends.

  With the same slow pace, we removed our clothes. I could tell Atlas wanted to help me, especially when it came to getting my sore arm out of the sleeve, but he watched and let me do it. With each article he removed, I marveled at his beauty. Atlas Durand was stunning.

  His dark skin glowed as the moonlight shone over his bare chest. He lifted his butt and slid his pants and boxers off in one go, and there he was, naked. He pushed back against his comforter, arms folded behind his head, and he arched a brow.

  “You gonna finish getting all naked for me, Toby?”

  “I…” Words, right. I quickly divested myself of the rest of my clothes and took one step, then two. Shit, even his feet were pretty.

  “You okay?”

  “You’re…shit, Atlas, I’m not sure there are words to describe what’s going through my head right now.” Gliding my hand along his ankle, letting his hair tickle my palm, made it so much more real. He was here, naked on his bed. For me.

  “Maybe show me, then.”

  He spread his legs wider so I could climb between them. I didn’t need any more invitation than that. I made sure to take my time and not put too much weight on my bad arm. He grinned, but the lust and fire in his eyes gave me courage.

  “You’re beautiful, Toby.”

  I rolled my eyes and huffed. “I’ve got more colors on my skin than a rainbow.”

  He sat up suddenly, cupped my face in his hands, and pressed his lips to mine. I fell into him, his taste, his tongue, his breath.

  He pulled away, and his honey-brown eyes were intense. “Even if you were orange with pink polka dots, I’d think you were beautiful. Don’t doubt that.” He took my hand and placed it on his erection. “You do this to me, Toby.”

  Gripping his cock, I moved my hand along his hard, velvety flesh. His eyelids fluttered, and when he moaned, I felt powerful. He wanted me.

  “Lie back.” He did as I asked, craning his neck up against the pillows as I moved faster over his shaft. Precome glistened at the tip, and I wanted to taste him. Leaning in, I flicked my tongue over the head, bittersweetness bursting on my tongue, and I wanted so much more.

  I moved my hand to cup his balls and suck his cock as deeply as I could. Atlas fisted his bedspread and it fed me, drove me, made me want him to come down my throat.

  “Shit,” he moaned.

  His balls tightened, and I could tell he was seconds away from coming. I picked up the pace; I loved his taste, how he felt, and I wanted his come as much as he wanted to give it to me.

  He arched up slightly, and then that bittersweetness exploded in my mouth, and I swallowed as fast as I could. When I’d sucked every drop, I licked up his shaft until he hissed.

  “Sensitive.”

  “Best dessert ever,” I said, and he laughed.

  “Hmm…I’m still hungry.”

  Fuck, and so was I. “What are you hungry for?”

  He lifted up, leaning on his elbow. “More, Toby. I think I’m always going to want more with you.”

  There was a deep sadness in Atlas’s eyes; I knew it was his own memories, his own ghosts. I was a lot of things—an idiot wasn’t one of them. He was feeling a lot toward me, and it terrified him. If I were a betting man, I’d bet he only slept with people to scratch an itch, but Joker was the last person he’d fucked that he cared about.

  “I want you inside me, Atlas.”

  His smile was so small. And before he said anything he might regret, I spoke. “But I’m not him. I’m not Joker. I’m not that guy Lance either, or anyone who scratched an itch for you. I don’t want you to fuck me, Atlas, I want you to make love to me, Toby St. Claire. I want you to wake up in the morning and not regret it. I want you to be able to let the ghosts go. Can you do that?”

  He took a breath, his gaze moving to the window, toward the city that took more from him than it had given.

  “When I close my eyes, I see him. I don’t want to, but I don’t know how to not see him, hear him, feel him.”

  I moved closer and straddled his waist. He met my gaze; so much pain took residence there.

  “Don’t close your eyes, Atlas. Look at me, see me, feel me, hear me.”

  “I want that.”

  “Be with me, okay?”

  He nodded, and a single tear slipped out and slid along his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb, leaned down, and took him in a kiss that I hoped expressed how much I understood, how I wasn’t going anywhere. When I sat up, his eyes were on me.

  “I won’t close them,” he whispered.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Atlas

  With my arms wrapped around Toby, I spun us so I hovered over him. Making sure I watched his features for any winces of pain, I received only a yelp of surprise
.

  I kept replaying Toby’s words, the truth and understanding painted on his face. This wasn’t just sex for me; it was mixing emotions with a physical act I’d done more times than I cared to admit. When we were both sated, I wouldn’t get up and leave or ask him to leave. This was going to mean something—not just to me but to him.

  Leaning into Toby, I took his lips in a punishing kiss. The man consumed me, and with our chests together, the pounding of his heart echoed my own. He hooked one arm around my neck, and the other slid over my ass cheek.

  “You feel amazing,” Toby said as I nestled into his neck, tasting his skin.

  “So do you.”

  When he wrapped his legs around my waist and rutted against my hardening cock, I bit just enough to make him gasp. Our mixed precome made our dicks slick, and the slide was gonna make me come if I didn’t stop.

  “Please, Atlas.”

  I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too. I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed lube and a condom, tossing them onto the bed. Working my way down his body, I stopped when I reached the crease of his groin. He watched me, and I made sure to look him in the eyes at every moment. Lifting a leg, I was glad when he spread the other, leaving himself completely exposed for me.

  “Hand me the lube?” I asked, and when he reached for it, I slid my tongue along his groin, over his shaft until I was lapping at his balls.

  “Shit, Atlas…” He chuckled, struggling to grip the lube.

  He finally handed it to me, but I was taking my time with Toby. I sucked, licked, and devoured him until he was vibrating. There was a fine sheen of sweat covering his skin, and he was writhing beautifully.

  I sat up, poured lube on my fingers and over his hole, gently rubbing it. The whole time, Toby watched me. Biting his lip and moaning as I pushed my fingers inside him, pumping and readying him for my cock. Pleas fell from his lips, and when I couldn’t wait any longer, I sheathed my cock and so, so slowly pushed into his heat.