Deflected: Game On in Seattle (Seattle Sockeyes Book 9)

by Jami Davenport

  Or had it? Had he been truthful with her? Was he falling for her? Was she different from all the rest? Could she be his special someone? How much could she trust him? How much did she trust him?

  He hadn’t hidden any of this from her. She could’ve done her research the moment she knew who he was. She hadn’t. That was on her.

  They needed to talk. To straighten things out. She had to know where she stood, even if such a demand might be premature for their still-new relationship and might destroy what they’d built up.

  For now, she needed to think and to plan what to do next.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  Alex glared at the offending phone clutched tightly in his hand as if the text messages on its screen were entirely the phone’s fault, but they weren’t.

  Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. Rosalind had cancelled their date for Friday night. She claimed she had the flu and warned him to stay away. He honored her request, though he’d rather take her some chicken noodle soup. Wasn’t that what a guy did for a woman he liked? He spent a lonely and boring evening sitting on the stone patio and staring at the water late into the night. Milo curled up on his lap and purred his heart out, but not even the cat could comfort him.

  On Saturday after a rough, sleepless night, he went to the bookstore and found her mother working. She verified Rosalind was under the weather.

  Only something wasn’t right. He could feel it. He usually didn’t pay attention to hunches except on the ice, but this time, he couldn’t ignore the dark cloud looming on the horizon. Something was going on.

  He hustled his butt to the veterans club, where Clarissa was bartending. She gave him a cold stare full of accusation and wouldn’t say anything other than he needed to talk with Rosalind.

  He was done searching for answers from other people. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He was going to the source. He had to see her. Make sure she was okay. Caring about someone was new to him. Normally, he’d leave a woman alone in a situation like this. He’d shrug and move on. There’d been plenty of other women available. Only for some reason, walking away from Rosalind wasn’t so easy. In fact, a feeling close to desperation wrapped a tight band around his chest, making it hard to breathe.

  He racked his brain trying to figure out what he might’ve done wrong or had she found out something? Something he should’ve told her in the first place?

  And why hadn’t he? He didn’t have a good answer for that, other than he was enjoying being with a woman who liked him for the person he was and not for the celebrity status afforded to women who dated hockey players or for the financial perks.

  Late Saturday afternoon, Alex walked to her house and rapped on the door. Her POS car was in the driveway, so she was home. He wasn’t leaving until she explained what was going on.

  No one came to the door, but he could hear music.

  “Roz, I know you are there. Let me in.”

  The music stopped, and there was silence. He refused to be a jerk and look in the windows. He rapped on the door again, more insistent this time.

  “Please, Roz. Open the door.” In one last desperate measure, he grasped the doorknob. It turned. She’d left the door unlocked. He opened it a few inches and peeked in.

  “Roz, baby, I’m coming in.” Without waiting for a response, he pushed the door aside and walked slowly into the room. Roz was bundled up on the couch in a blanket. All the blinds were drawn. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her face was pale. She looked like hell, but he was savvy when it came to women and wouldn’t point out that fact.

  “Are you okay?” Concern came through in his voice, even though he tried to keep his tone neutral. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and approached her. She looked sick, but he wasn’t convinced her illness was physical.

  At some point in the last several weeks, she’d come to matter to him. He cared about her, and the realization shocked him deep down into his bones. No one mattered to him anymore but his teammates and a few close friends, yet this female had somehow managed to get past his defenses, and he hadn’t realized it until now.

  She met his gaze with bloodshot eyes. “I’ve had the flu.”

  “I have heard. I am worried.”

  “Really?” The snarky edge to her tone wasn’t like her. He stepped back and studied her. She didn’t feel good, that was all. Only that wasn’t all. He’d never been all that perceptive when it came to women, or maybe he’d never tried to be, but this time, he knew something was wrong, and it wasn’t the flu.

  “What did I do?”

  “Sometimes things aren’t all about you, Rush.”

  “What is going on?”

  “I Googled you.”

  “I see. You know my rep then?”

  “I do.” She sat up, not so sick anymore. “Who are you, Alex?”

  He looked away, formulating a response. Desperation gripped him by the throat, and he scrambled for a way to fix this before it became unfixable. The possibility of losing her choked him with fear, but he had to fight. Stay sane. Convince her of the truth behind his words.

  “I am not sure, but I do know I am not that person anymore. If I ever was. But I know who I want to be.”

  “Who is that?”

  “What I said yesterday, I meant. All of it, but I am stumbling through wilderness. Making up rules as I go. Not sure how to do this right, but I am trying.”

  “What is this?”

  He was quiet for a moment, considering her question.

  “This thing between us. I do not know how to proceed. I need help.”

  “I don’t either,” she admitted. “I’m struggling with coming to terms with the man you are publicly and the man I thought you were.”

  “What can I do to prove I have changed?”

  “For starters, you haven’t been honest with me, Alex. You’re on this island because the team sent you here to clean up your act.”

  “That is true.” He hung his head. He’d messed up. He should’ve come clean with her yesterday when he’d had the chance, but he hadn’t. Guilt rushed through him and mixed with the desperation, a recipe for despair, but he was a fighter, and he fought that despair. He could fix this. He could make it right.

  Alex shifted his weight from one foot to the other, racking his brain for his next step. Sweet-talking wouldn’t get him far. She was too smart for that. Begging would only demean them both. Logic wasn’t in the cards either. He had to give her the rest of the truth about his Alex persona and how far he’d taken it.

  “I’m a fraud even more than you know.”

  “How is that?”

  “I hide the fact that I love to read, and I can speak damn near perfect English, but the broken English has been part of my persona. Friends and teammates find it entertaining.”

  She gaped at him completely stupefied. “Why ever would you do that?”

  “It’s part of my image.”

  Rosalind continued to stare at him as if he were an alien, and she couldn’t fathom where he was coming from. “That’s it? Your image?”

  “When I couldn’t speak good English, people were amused, and I learned I could make them laugh. I guess I’m a little pathetic that way.”

  “And the reading? Why keep that a secret?”

  He shrugged, not even completely sure himself. “I guess being a bookworm doesn’t fit with the party-boy lifestyle I’d established.”

  “I’m dumbfounded.” She shook that pretty head of hers, making him wonder if concealing his reading had damaged their relationship more than all his other vices.

  “How can I prove myself? Help me. I do not know how to do this relationship thing.”

  She appeared to chew on his words for a moment. Her thoughtful expression filled him with hope. He could fix this. They could move on. She could learn to trust this Alex, the one who was muddling through things and figuring out what mattered.

  “Give me another chance, Roz. Please.” He was begging now and frantic enough not to care about the potential damage to his ego.
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br />   “I want to believe you. I’m trying to come to terms with the guy I know and the guy who’s plastered all over the internet.”

  He had an idea. A brilliant one, even if his dick wouldn’t agree. “Date me. I’ll prove myself. No sex. We’ll just date.”

  Some of her anger dissipated to be replaced with confusion. “Why would you want to do that?”

  “So you can see what’s going on between us isn’t all about sex.” He shrugged, choosing bald honesty. He didn’t have a good answer, not one he’d admit to. He didn’t understand what was going on in his own head. He couldn’t walk away, and that was new to him.

  She squinted at him. “I’m a little confused right now.”

  “So am I. I’ve been this person for so long that I’m not sure who the real Alex is. Help me find him.” He gazed into her eyes, dropping his guard and letting her see the confusion and fear he felt. He was venturing into emotional territory, which left him vulnerable and opened him up to being hurt.

  “I don’t know.” She was hedging, starting to cave. He took the offense and pushed on.

  “This is new to me, but I don’t want to let it go. I can’t walk away without exploring what this is.”

  Her face smoothed out, much of the tension gone, but her unreadable expression frustrated him. He was doing a poor job getting through to her.

  “I’ve never had these feelings before for a woman.”

  “Are you sure you’re not saying this to get what you want?”

  “I’ve already promised we can date and not have sex. What more can I offer?”

  She studied his face for a long while. The room was so quiet he could hear a seagull’s cry in the distance. After standing, she walked to the French doors and opened the curtains covering them. Light poured in and gave his heart hope. She walked outside. He followed her, careful to give her space and not push her. He wanted to push, but she’d only resist.

  She paused at the edge of her patio, watching the water below. Alex shoved his hands in his pockets and waited, barely able to contain himself, yet he must. He didn’t have a clue what he was doing or why he was doing it. He only knew he had to do it.

  His mother and father had been in love from the day they’d met until the day they’d died. He’d seen what real love could be, yet he’d rejected any possibility of finding the same thing in his own life. He wasn’t certain Rosalind and he had any kind of future, yet he’d never been with a woman who made him realize he was capable of caring for someone in a deeper and more meaningful way. He’d long thought that capability had died along with his family. He wanted to find out if it had.

  “Alex, what do you want from me?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t been in this situation before.”

  She met his gaze, searching for something, he didn’t know what. He didn’t mask his emotions. He let her see his own confusion and uncertainty.

  She looked away, paced back and forth a few times before coming to a stop in front of him. Heaving a heavy sigh, she grasped his arms. “I’m probably making a momentous mistake.”

  His heart soared, and he tamped it down. She hadn’t agreed to his terms yet.

  “Okay, I’ll date you. That’s it. You have a rep, and I have to protect myself.”

  “You won’t regret this.” He nodded his agreement. He’d do anything to keep seeing her, which actually scared the crap out of him.

  He’d set the terms, and she’d accepted. He couldn’t walk away from her any more than he could hang up his skates. She had him by the short hairs.

  In the end, his heart might be more vulnerable than hers, and he might be a bigger fool than he’d realized.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  The fragile heart Rosalind was protecting was already compromised. It’d taken a hit when she’d first slept with Alex, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover.

  She might be a fool. He was the bad boy of the NHL, and she was a relative innocent who’d never lived anywhere but the island she’d grown up on, except for a brief stint at a small-town college. She’d seen what Alex was capable of, the wild parties, the women, the drinking. His lifestyle was foreign to her. He’d been sent to the island to clean up his act, but old habits died hard. Once he returned to Seattle and the pressure was off, would he return to his wicked ways and forget about her?

  Alex had abandoned his broken English. Except for his accent, he sounded like anyone else. She still couldn’t fathom the lengths he’d gone to in order to play the part he’d cast for himself. And the reading? Keeping that a secret from his teammates? She’d been more surprised by that than anything, yet she had no room to talk. She kept her romance pen name a secret also.

  Despite her reservations, she’d agreed to date him because the worse thing than being a fool was being a coward.

  She was going to do this. She’d known from the beginning that she’d accept whatever terms he’d wanted. Even though she’d like to be a woman who could hold strong, his appeal couldn’t be denied. If only she could distance her heart and have a summer fling. At the least, she’d pretend to have one so when this was over, he’d walk away thinking she was fine with the ending. Her heart might be broken, but she’d never let him see the damage.

  On Monday morning, Rosalind was back in the store. After a Sunday of hiking the island with Alex, it was back to business.

  She studied the figures swimming in front of her. She’d been so wrapped up in Alex, she’d neglected her business. Sales were down. Book prices were up. Her expenses across the board weren’t being covered by her meager income, and she couldn’t keep robbing her author earnings to carry the store. Eventually, she’d have to face facts.

  Something had to change. Not just in the store but in her personal life. She had to take charge, be in control, and protect her heart as best she could while no longer neglecting her business. She was seeing Alex on her terms, not his, and she’d say goodbye to him when he left, never letting him see her cry.

  The door to the store opened and closed. She glanced up, grateful to have a customer, only her customer was Alex. She smiled at him, and he grinned back, but his grin quickly faded.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She opened her mouth to fabricate a plausible story, but something broke inside her, and she could only tell him the truth. “This bookstore is going broke. It’s been struggling for a long time. In fact, my parents warned me not to take it on, but managing this bookstore was always a part of my plan.” Her laugh was bitter and so unlike her. “I’ve really made a mess of things. All my careful planning, and I didn’t see problems coming because it didn’t conform with the plan.”

  Alex sat on the edge of her desk and rubbed his chin, deep in thought. His blue eyes met hers. “I have an idea.”

  “And that is?”

  “My day with the Cup.” At her puzzled expression, he added, “The Stanley Cup. Each player gets a day with the Cup.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “Anyway, why don’t we do it here? We could have a big celebration. I could sign autographs, and it’ll bring people in. Maybe you could order a few books with a hockey theme and offer them for sale.”

  “You’d do that for me?” His idea could work. Regardless, it was worth a shot.

  “Why not? Ethan wanted me to do something to raise money for an island cause. We’ll put out a donation jar for the Orca whales.”

  “It could work.”

  “And how about if we make it your big reveal of your books. You could sell them and sign them.”

  “Oh, no, I’m not ready for that.” Rosalind shook her head in horror. She didn’t have the confidence to weather that possible fallout or the way people might think of her.

  Alex frowned. “You should be proud of your work. It’s good. Don’t hide what you do. You should be writing full-time.”

  “I would never. I’m not good enough.”

  “You’re wrong,” he countered stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest and pinning her with one of his hockey gla
res, the same kind she wrote about in her books when one of her heroes had his game face on. “I’m going to open myself up for ribbing from my teammates when the season starts. I’m not going to hide my reading or my ability to speak good English.”

  “I wish I had your confidence, and I appreciate your faith in me, but I’m not interested in revealing my pen name now or ever.” She shot back a glare of her own, and he chuckled. So much for her intimidation stare.

  Alex didn’t continue the argument. He sighed and stood to stretch. “I’ll call Ethan now and make arrangements.”

  “Thank you. It could work, Alex. I do appreciate this.”

  Alex nodded. He paused for a moment as if to say something else but decided against it. He sauntered over to a private corner of the store and spoke in low tones. A few minutes later he came back.

  “It’s all arranged. They had me down for the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, which should be perfect.”

  “But that’s only a few weeks away.” Rosalind attempted to tamp down her panic. “I need to get advertising together, order books, decorate. I—I—”

  “I’ll help, as will the team’s staff. I’ll call the PR people. They’ll help. You don’t have to do it alone. You have me.” He smiled down at her fondly, and her heart danced a little jig of hope.

  Chapter 16—Secret Revealed

  Alex sat back and nursed a beer, as Rosalind ushered the last of the planning committee out of the Parker Mansion. Milo surveyed the entire scene from his perch on the back of the couch.

  Alex had never realized how good it felt to do something for another person rather than always doing stuff for himself.

  Due to Rosalind’s organizational skills, his day with the Cup was on schedule, and all the hoopla surrounding it was planned to the nth degree. He didn’t know if this publicity would save her struggling store, but he was giving it his best shot, as was Rosalind and her group of helpers. Unfortunately, Dr. Rushton and his ilk showed up for the planning. The man offered his opinions but not his actual assistance. Alex bit his tongue for Rosalind’s sake and let her handle the jerk. Clarissa stepped in, flattering the man and fluffing his ego, allowing her friend to get on with the business of planning while “the Doctor” held court in a corner of the old library evaluating the rare novels on the shelves and their value.