Ruined: Tobias

by Hildie McQueen

  As was the norm for his brother, Luke only stared back at him. A look that said, “I know you more than you know yourself.”

  A couple hours later, the twins walked into Shooters for what could be a late lunch or early dinner. A pretty brunette who worked there did a double take reminding Tobias of how often it used to happen when they were younger and hung out all the time. Lately, they rarely did and because of that, sometimes Tobias forgot that he and Luke were identical.

  “I know you’re probably used to this…” the young woman’s gaze moved down his body and up Luke’s. “…but you’re like every woman’s dream.”

  Tobias looked to Luke. “I’ve never heard that, have you?”

  The more menacing of the two, Luke narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to the young woman, who seemed to be rethinking the flirtation. “You volunteering?” Only Tobias knew Luke was kidding.

  “Oh. No. I was just…” She took a step backward and giggled nervously.

  Ernest materialized with a beer in his right hand. He ignored Luke and looked at the woman. “Don’t pay any attention to him. He likes to intimidate people for no reason.”

  The woman gave them a quick smile and hurried away.

  Tobias moved to stand just a bit closer to Ernest than Luke. “Don’t start shit, Cuz. Don’t need to get kicked out of here again.”

  Ernest slid a quick look to Luke. “Henry and I have a table over here. If you want to hang out with us.”

  They went to where Ernest’s partner was. A different server, a slender guy this time, placed a pitcher of beer on the table and two glasses. “Would you like something to eat?”

  They ordered a shitload of wings and another pitcher. It had been a while since Tobias had spent time out with family. The whole Mimi thing had him staying away from them in an effort to not hear any crap about her. Damn, he supposed they’d been right. Of course, he’d never admit it out loud.

  Henry was easy-going and patient, the perfect partner for Ernest who was almost as much of a hot head as Luke. Luke eyed Ernest and huffed. “I’d think you’d be too much of a snob to hang out here.”

  “Obviously, you shouldn’t be allowed to think,” Ernest replied, taking a long swig of beer.

  As usual, Henry defused the situation by piling fries on a plate and sliding it in front of Luke. “I hear you and Leah are selling the cattle. What brought this on?”

  They began to discuss the fact Luke and Leah were going to open a horse ranch for service members with PTSD. The idea had merit and Tobias was proud of what his brother planned to do.

  “Have you heard from Mimi?” Ernest asked Tobias.

  “No and I don’t expect to,” Tobias replied. “I ended it with her.”

  Henry grinned. “I’m going to miss that woman. She made me laugh. What a ditz.”

  Tobias nodded. “Yeah, she is one of a kind, that’s for sure.”

  Just then, Ernest looked over Tobias’ shoulder. “Taylor’s here. Texted earlier, says he’s got some interesting news.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  One puppy whimpered when Tori picked up its sibling. She put the puppy down and both made the high-pitched, unhappy noise.

  “They’re used to always being together,” the woman who fostered them said. She then picked them both up and handed them to Tori.

  The little dogs were fat, fluffy and they smelled of innocence and sleepless nights. They were perfect and adorable. Since they’d been abandoned, the foster mother had no idea what breed they were or how big they’d get. Judging by the petite paws, Tori guessed they’d not be very big.

  “I can’t possibly take both. I am hardly ever home and my cottage is tiny.” She kissed both fluffy faces and placed them down. Oblivious, the puppies began to play, chasing each other and pouncing.

  The woman nodded. “I understand. After a few days, I’m sure they’d be fine if separated.” She didn’t sound convinced. Both she and the woman watched as the two bundles of fur continued to play.

  “What will happen to them if both are not adopted?”

  The woman smiled. “I run a no-kill rescue. The dogs remain here permanently if they are not adopted. My husband gripes about it all the time. Currently, we have six grown dogs and these two troublemakers.”

  They were across the street from the café at the town square. The woman and her husband had agreed to bring the puppies to play in the park that afternoon so Tori could see them. She’d fallen in love when seeing them online and they were even more adorable in person.

  “I don’t know what to do. I want a dog but, at the same time, it may not be the right time.” For some reason, she sniffed. The last thing she needed to do was to cry about puppies.

  “How hard can it be? Either you take them or you don’t.” Tobias’ deep voice made Tori and the woman turn to look.

  Upon hearing the timbre of his voice, the puppies raced toward him. It was then she noticed Luke was just a bit further back. The puppy foster mom smiled at Luke. “How are the dogs doing? Rosie is one of them, right?”

  Luke nodded. “Both are doing great.”

  The last thing she needed was to run into Tobias. Instantly, the fact she’d been intimate with another man came to the front of her mind.

  “I better go. I’ll think about it and call later,” Tori told the woman and then turned on her heel, determined to get away from Tobias.

  Luke touched her arm as she passed him. “You two should talk.”

  “We did,” Tori replied. “There isn’t much more to say.”

  It struck her how different Luke was now than before going to war. His eyes seemed to soften. “There is a lot more.” With those cryptic words, he walked over to play with the delighted puppies.

  “I came by last night,” Tobias said, catching up with her. “You were out, or not answering the door.”

  It was best to not reply. The last thing she needed to do was discuss her love life with Tobias. “I heard.”

  “Didn’t get married after all.”

  When her stomach lurched and her chest tightened, Tori wasn’t sure what to make of the strange sensations. To make matters worse, she had to take a deep breath before speaking.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged, his hazel eyes boring into her. “I was forcing the issue. It worked out for the best.”

  “So she broke things off?” Tori had a hard time picturing that. If anything, Mimi seemed determined to get Tobias to marry her no matter what.

  Tobias shrugged. “A legal thing. But, yeah, I guess you can say that.”

  Without thinking, Tori slugged him in the arm. “Don’t you find it crazy that fate has to step in, otherwise you’d marry someone you obviously are not in love with?”

  “Can I see you later? I need to talk to you. About…”

  Tori cut him off by putting her hand up, palm facing him. “I really don’t think we have anything at all to discuss anymore, Tobias. The past is gone, we should move on.”

  “I’m having a hard time.” He swallowed, all the while his gaze pinning hers, keeping Tori from moving. If he only knew how much power he had over every one of her senses.

  He let out breath. “Just need to ask you some questions. Can I walk you home?”

  In actuality, she’d planned to remain at the park and spend time with a puppy, but now she had no dog. She didn’t want to adopt two and she wasn’t sure anymore if she really wanted the responsibility of a dog, much less a puppy.

  “Fine. But I don’t know what more can possibly be said.”

  He remained silent. Taking her elbow, he guided her to the sidewalk. They walked slowly, each in their own thoughts for a few minutes. From the corner of her eye, she admired his profile. He was still the most handsome man she’d ever met. His brown hair glistened in the sunlight. There were a few gray hairs sprinkled at his temple, which only made him more attractive. Tobias was tall, six foot five, muscular with wide shoulders and a flat stomach. From what she knew, he worked out regularly and by
the fact he’d raced and helped the team win the relay, Tori guessed he ran, also.

  It was not fair that he had such a pull on her. If anything, she needed to feel dislike of him. But they had history, and ties that would bind them forever.

  “Why are you looking at me like you want to strangle my neck?” He lifted a brow and looked to her. When his eyes traveled to her lips, Tori frowned and bit her bottom lip.

  “I was considering our history and the fact I don’t really hate you.”

  His lips twitched. “I don’t really hate you either.”

  When his eyes narrowed in thought, Tori frowned. “What?”

  “Come with me. Let’s go for a drive.”

  “A drive. I really don’t think that’s a good idea. What exactly do you want to talk about? She stopped walking and put her hands on both hips. “You’re acting strange. Well, stranger than usual.”

  “And you always make things difficult. I want to talk. I need to ask you some questions. And I think if we drive somewhere besides your house or my place, then the neutral setting will be perfect.”

  Her stomach tightened. Whatever he was going to say must be really bad that he wanted her not to have a way to escape from it. Tori wasn’t about to show any weakness or let him know that being alone with him terrified her. She was dating Alec now and it was time to let him know.

  “Fine. But not too far that I can’t get away from you if you piss me off.”

  “If anything, you’ll be the one to make me want to run. You have such a way with things.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He looked away from her with an expression of innocence. “Nothing. Come on, my truck is over here.” He took her elbow and shouted goodbye to Luke who waved them off.

  Thoughts of how to tell Tori the truth tumbled around in his head. Tobias thought of one way to explain what he had to say and then changed his mind. How hard could it be to be totally honest, to tell her exactly how he felt and what he hoped for?

  Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was that would be the best for them. In a way, he agreed with Luke that, perhaps, it wasn’t too late. There was a strong possibility that Tori could still have children and would agree to it. However, the odds were definitely not in his favor.

  The attraction between them was tangible, so strong he instinctively knew when she entered a room or looked in his direction. The pull between them hadn’t faded over the years. That they’d entered into a routine of insults and barbs had been a form of barrier. For him at least.

  Tori seemed to take great delight in hurling put downs and insults at him. She’d actually become quite proficient, if he were to be honest.

  “What are you chuckling about?” Tori asked, making him realized he’d been thinking out loud.

  “About how good we are at trading insults. Over the years, I have to admit, I’ve looked forward to sparring with you.”

  She huffed. “I will say you’re particularly good at it. I have to work to be mean. It seems to come naturally to you.”

  “I’m not a cruel person,” he scoffed. “Everyone says I’m a nice guy. Mrs. Barbara, whom I help out, says I’m a sweetie.”

  “You’ve got her snowed.”

  Enjoying the familiarity of the conversation, Tobias lifted a brow. “Allison and Leah both often invite me to dinner. They like having me around.”

  “Both of them like feeding strays,” Tori quipped. “They don’t keep any of them though.”

  Tobias chuckled. “You turned down a pair of puppies who were crying because they wanted to be together. That,” he said the last work with a sharp emphasis, “is very mean. Villain mean.”

  “It is, isn’t it? I keep thinking about the poor little things. They are so cute.” She sniffed.

  Tobias immediately regretted bringing up the subject of the puppies. He had no idea she’d been fretting about it. “Bringing two dogs into a home is a lot of work, two puppies even more. With your long hours, it would have been hard for them. You’d have to leave them home alone for long hours.”

  “It wouldn’t have been fair to them, right?” There was hope in her voice and Tobias wanted to hug and reassure her.

  “No, it wouldn’t have been fair. I was just picking on you. So see, I’m bad at being mean.”

  Tori gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. “So where exactly are you taking me?” She peered out the window. “Please tell me we’re not going to the Lookout.”

  That was exactly where he’d been headed. They’d gotten engaged there, it was at the Lookout that they’d shared their first kiss and where they’d made love for the first time. He couldn’t help but smile at the memory of the clumsy, awkward moment. It had been Tori’s first time and she’d cried when he’d taken her virginity. He’d held her for a long time, anxious for her to calm down so he could show her how pleasant it could be.

  “I haven’t been up here in years, thought it would be cool to walk around up there.” He lied. Just the week before, he’d brought the dogs for a walk there. But it was better than telling her he’d brought her there so it wouldn’t be easy for her to run away when he spilled his guts.

  The truck rocked side-to-side over the uneven terrain up the side of the mountain. Tori lowered the window and leaned back allowing the breeze to blow on her face. It was hard to tell if she was angry or pleased. Tobias leaned more toward annoyed by the slight crease between her brows.

  “Want to listen to some music?”

  “This is not a date,” Tori said in a flat tone.

  “Like I would date you.”

  “You would if I let you. But I wouldn’t date you.”

  “You can barely resist me. My charms are like candy.”

  Tori opened her eyes so she could roll then. “Sour candy maybe.”

  Tobias chuckled and maneuvered the truck so that when he parked, they’d be facing the overlook.

  When he cut off the engine, Tori climbed out and rounded the truck to where she could see the scenery below. From where she stood, the hill rolled softly down and onto another landing where one could picnic.

  “This place is my life,” she said in a soft voice. “Laurel Creek calls to me. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve been up here.”

  Tobias came to stand next to her. “Hey, I can see the guys herding cattle at my place.” He pointed in the direction of Hamilton lands. “Pretty cool.”

  “If you bring binoculars, you can spy on people from here. We used to do that when I was in middle school.”

  He chuckled. “You’ve always been a peeper.”

  Tori didn’t deny it. “Why are we here?” She looked up at him, her dark gaze taking him in. “The truth, please.”

  This was it, do or die. He took a breath. “I brought you here because I want to tell you the truth. It’s time to man up and be honest.”

  Her eyes widened. “I know you hate me for keeping the secret about Thomas. I know it will take time to forgive me.”

  Tobias wasn’t about to be deterred. “I love you.”

  “You what?” Her eyes were as wide as saucers.

  “It’s always been you. You ruined me for other women. I have tried over these last twenty years to fall in love, but can’t. That’s why my marriage ended, I could not love her enough and she hated me for it.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Shit, Tori, my heart is and will always be yours.”

  The wind blew her short hair back and forth as she stood as still as a statue and he itched to reach for her. Her eyes became shiny and he wondered if she were about to lose it.

  She probably wouldn’t cry, but she would scream at him and say she felt the opposite. Would never love him, and that there was no chance in hell they would ever be together.

  Instead, she reached out with one hand and cupped his jaw. “Oh, Tobias.” Blinking away tears, she swallowed visibly. “I don’t know what to think right now.”

  “I’m not expecting a reply from you. Not right now anyway. I know
this is coming out of left field. But I want to be honest with myself and with you. I’m tired of denying it, not just from you, but from myself.” He placed his hand over the one at his jaw. “If there is any chance of us trying to work it out again, I want to take it. Think it over, okay?”

  She let out a shaky breath. “Oh my God. You’re serious.”

  “I am very serious. If it’s possible, I love you more now than when I left for Afghanistan.”

  At the mention of the past, she looked away. “This is crazy. I really thought you wanted to talk about our son. I figured we’d end up arguing. You know, familiar territory.”

  She collapsed against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

  It felt like he was home.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Tobias dismounted and removed the saddle from his horse.

  “Hey, Boss,” Jonathan, one of the new ranch hands, came to take the reins. “You’ve got company.” He motioned toward the house and Tobias turned.

  Sure enough, there was a familiar SUV parked in front of the house and Taylor’s truck was also there. “Is something wrong?”

  Jonathan shook his head. “I don’t think so. Your mother is cooking.”

  “Why didn’t you come get me?” Tobias yanked his leather gloves off.

  “They said not to.” Jonathan walked away whistling. The young man was about as carefree as a bird. Never seemed to get upset or particularly worried. Tobias shook his head.

  After releasing the horse into the corral, he ambled to the house. Tobias took his time not sure what to expect.

  “Hey, Son,” his father called out from a rocker on the porch. The labs were already at his dad’s feet, looking up at the senior Hamilton as if he were a god.

  Tobias neared and leaned forward to hug his father. “Didn’t know you two planned to come to town.”

  “Talk to your mother, she’s been anxious to come and spend time with you, Luke and Taylor. Something about a dream.”

  He walked inside and followed the smell of chicken roasting and conversation. Taylor and Luke were seated at the table with a slice of cake in front of them while his mother bustled around the kitchen.