Rescue Me: A Broken Boy Angsty Romance. (Hawthorn Hills Duet Book 4)

by Claire Raye

  So, in addition to our pact about no late nights and me then sleeping all day, I’d also promised I would start being honest with her about how I’m feeling. No more bullshit, no matter how bad things are. She doesn’t want me to try and protect her from this or from me, and in return, she’ll do anything I ask, anything I need.

  I’m still not entirely convinced I want to do the therapist part, but I know Reid’s also right when he said it isn’t fair of me to lay all my burdens on Ruby. Plus, after the talk he and I had yesterday, I also know he’ll kick my ass if I fuck this up.

  And as much as I know it’s going to be hard to talk, hard to confess and admit to everything that has happened to me, everything I’ve done, it will be worth it if it means I can see Ruby look at me the way she’s doing right now.

  “Did you sleep okay?”

  I nod. “Yeah, did you?”

  She smiles as she leans down to kiss me. “Yes.”

  I groan, my hand slipping to her ass as I press her against my already hardening dick. Ruby chuckles, pulling back a little so her lips are barely brushing against mine.

  “I’m pretty sure we’re gonna get—”

  Right on cue, there’s a banging on the bedroom door, followed by Sie’s loud voice. “Come on! Get up you two! It’s Christmas!”

  Ruby laughs as I groan, rolling my eyes at my sister’s epically bad timing. “Come on,” she whispers, sliding off me. “You know this is a big deal for her, having you here this year.”

  I exhale dramatically as we both get out of bed, pulling on sweatpants and long-sleeved t-shirts. I notice Ruby is wearing one of mine and it makes me smile as I reach for her, pulling her in for another kiss.

  When we both walk out to the kitchen, Reid is making coffee while my sister is sitting in front of the tree, randomly picking up presents and shaking them. I blink once, shaking my head as I turn to Reid.

  “You realize the monster you unleashed when you suggested we do all this, don’t you?” I tease, knowing this is probably the first real Christmas the three of us have ever had and it was always going to make Sienna excited.

  Reid grins, crossing his arms over his chest as he turns to look at Sienna. “Totally worth it,” he says, turning back to me. “Not to mention all the blowjobs it’ll now get me.” He raises his brows because he knows exactly what he’s doing when he says shit like that to me.

  I shake my head, walking over to the coffee machine as I punch him in the arm. “Just one day, please?” I mock beg.

  Reid chuckles, as he turns and puts an arm around my shoulder in that half-hug thing he does. “No fucking chance,” he says. “You good?”

  I nod, actually meaning it for once. “I am, yeah,” I say, looking across at him. “Thank you.” I pause, tilting my head toward the living room, where Ruby has now joined Sie. “You know, for…”

  Reid squeezes my shoulder once before letting go but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns and leans back against the kitchen counter, his hands wrapped around his coffee as he watches Sienna and Ruby.

  I mirror his pose, the two of us standing side by side, everything about this moment feeling surreal, but calming at the same time.

  “My appointment’s tomorrow,” I eventually say, my gaze still on Ruby.

  I see Reid nod once from the corner of my eye, but he still doesn’t say anything.

  “She wants to come with me.”

  “Is that a bad thing?” he asks, his voice low.

  I shrug, even though he isn’t looking at me. “No, yeah, I don’t know,” I admit. “I think maybe the first time it’s gonna be awkward as fuck, so I should probably go alone.”

  “You want me to come with you?”

  I take a deep breath in, letting it out slowly as both of us continue to watch our girls who are either oblivious to the serious conversation taking place in the kitchen right now or somehow know to leave us alone.

  “I don’t know,” I eventually say. Of all the people in this house, he’s probably the one person I would want there. But even then, there’s still shit he doesn’t know about. Stuff he doesn’t need to be burdened with.

  Reid straightens, turning to face me. “I’m there if you need me, okay. You can decide now, tomorrow, or five seconds before you walk in. Whatever you need.”

  I feel the corner of my mouth tug into a smile, which only grows with the confused look Reid gives me. I can tell he wants to ask me what I’m thinking right now and maybe if we were different, I’d admit to him that he is the best person I know. That he is an incredibly kind and generous and just fucking awesome human being and so much more than the guy he shows the rest of the world.

  But I don’t, instead, smiling as I say, “Thanks, dude, seriously,” before we grab the other coffees and head into the living room to join the girls.

  We spend the day doing absolutely fuck all and it’s fantastic. None of us bother getting changed from the clothes we pulled on when we rolled out of bed and instead, we lounge around on the couches, watching movies, laughing, talking, eating and drinking.

  Ruby gives me a free pass on the no alcohol thing today and strangely enough, I don’t feel the need to mask my pain with it. Instead, the four of us hang out together, the whole day spent having fun and giving each other shit and it’s honestly the best Christmas I can ever remember having.

  At some point, Ruby disappears into her room to call her family. I decline her offer to join in on the FaceTime, still not ready to face them yet. That lingering feeling of frustration and anger that I am the reason she’s not with them today is still there.

  “She’s okay,” Sie whispers, as though reading my mind.

  I look over at where she’s sitting at the other end of the couch while Reid is in the kitchen grabbing some more drinks. “Is she?” I ask.

  Sienna nods. “Yes, she is, really.” She glances at the hall, as if to check Ruby isn’t standing there before turning back to me. “She cares about you, Caleb, a lot.”

  I smile, knowing it’s more than that. For both of us. “I know.”

  “And you care about her.” It’s said as a statement, not a question, because of course she knows.

  I meet my sister’s gaze, the same blue eyes I see when I look in the mirror now staring back at me. “I love her,” I whisper.

  Sienna smiles, rolling her eyes at me as if to say, please, like I didn’t know that already. “Guess this really does make us even, huh?”

  I chuckle, just as Reid walks back into the room, flopping onto the couch in between us. “What’s so funny?”

  Sie and I look at each other again, both of us smiling as Reid turns from Sie to me, before looking back at Sie again. “No, seriously, stop with the weird twin shit and tell me what’s so funny?”

  I burst out laughing, my sister smiling as she slides along the couch and wraps her arms around Reid. “It’s nothing, babe,” she says, pressing a kiss to his neck.

  Reid huffs. “Bullshit, it’s nothing,” he says, pretending to be annoyed. “Honestly you’d think after all these years, I’d be able figure out this whole telepathy shit or whatever it is you two have going on.”

  I laugh, just as Ruby walks back into the living room. Smiling, I grab her hand as I pull her into my lap. “Well, you know,” I can’t resist saying. “Twins are genetic, so maybe…” I trail off, widening my eyes as I look at Reid and then Sie, before turning back to Reid again.

  He stares at me, open mouthed as though he legit can’t believe I just said that. Sienna giggles a little as she leans her head on Reid’s shoulder. But just as quickly as it appeared, his surprised look is replaced by a truly wicked smile as he pulls my sister closer, his hands groping her all over as though to emphasize his point as he says, “Just as long as you know I plan on practicing knocking your sister up. Every. Single. Night.”

  I burst out laughing now as Sienna blushes and slaps a hand across Reid’s mouth.

  “You’re a fucker,” I tell him as we all laugh.

  Today is a g
ood day.

  Chapter Nine

  Ruby

  I hate that I’m lying in bed waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering if today will be one good day in a long line of bad days to come. I want to believe Caleb when he says he’s going to see the therapist, but I know in the stark light of the morning, his feelings often change. And that’s okay, because as much as I want him to get better, I know things have to be on his own terms. Neither me or Reid or Sienna can force him into doing this, even if that’s exactly what we want to do.

  I roll over, watching him sleep soundlessly next to me. His face is a wash of peacefulness, but things will start to return to normal soon. He has to go back to work, disrupting this quiet little space we’ve been living in. It’s easy to look at him and think he’s doing well, especially after we just celebrated Christmas and the house is decorated.

  Without the outside world pressing on him, things are good.

  We’ve started a routine, something I hope we can continue so he finds the structure to be a calming force. He’s started taking melatonin an hour before bed. We both leave our phones plugged in on the other side of the room now to keep us from using it as a distraction. It’s not just Caleb who needs to make changes. I need to be present too, and when he loses himself in his phone, I usually follow suit. But we’re done with that. Engagement and actual interaction are things that have slowly started to fade away since everything happened with the professor and Caleb’s arrest. We need to build back the idea that being together will be enough, even if it is hard to interact at times.

  I curl into Caleb’s body, warm and comforting and I close my eyes, finding the solace I usually find in his smell and his closeness. I will myself to fall asleep, to not wake him with my own concerns and worries.

  I wake the next morning with the bed empty and it’s one of those things that still causes panic to well up inside me. It seizes my chest and makes it hard to breath for a split second, but I can talk myself out of thinking it’s something more when I realize this is how Caleb feels on a daily basis. Just leaving the house now is hard for him, concerns of triggers lurking anywhere. Caleb leaving our bed shouldn’t be a trigger for me. I need to trust he’s capable of navigating his life now that he’s aware and conscious of what happened in our alley and that it won’t occur again. It’s hard to see beyond his PTSD. It’s hard to see beyond everything being a trigger.

  I throw on leggings and a t-shirt and wander out into the quiet house. The kitchen is empty and Sie’s door is still closed. This will be the first time I’ve been here during the Christmas holiday. Everything pretty much shuts down, which is good in a way. It’s allowing all of us time to regroup and heal. We aren’t being bombarded with questions from students on campus about what happened. We aren’t the gossip that we would be if everything were running as normal.

  We can only hope by the time the spring semester begins again what happened in our alleyway will be old news. Caleb may not go to school here, but he works at one of the most popular bars on campus and who he is will not be lost on anyone who goes in there.

  The coffee pot is full, minus about one cup and I fill my own and then walk through the house to the front door. I can see Caleb sitting on the porch through the large front window, the stillness of the morning having a calming effect on him.

  “Hey,” I say as I open the door and sit down on his lap. “You’re up early. You sleep okay?” My first thought is if I woke him up in the night with all my tossing and turning.

  “I’m good,” he replies, kissing my shoulder. “How did you sleep?”

  He smirks at me and I return it, realizing I can’t constantly be wondering if he’s going to have a bad day. There will be moments when his day sucks, hell there are even moments when my own days suck, but we need to keep perspective, knowing what we have together will always be good.

  I start to tell him I slept fine, but I don’t want to lie to him, feeling like I want him to be honest with me, I need to do the same.

  “I didn’t sleep great. I was…”

  “Worried about me?” he questions, finishing my thought.

  “Yeah,” I admit, leaning into him, my head resting on his shoulder.

  “Trust me when I say I’d rather worry about you worrying about me, Ruby. Don’t keep it to yourself.”

  We need to talk about things, get it out in the open, discuss our fears and worries, our dreams and wants. This isn’t just about the negative things that hold us down; it’s about our future and where we see ourselves during all of this and after.

  “So why couldn’t you sleep?” Caleb asks, pushing me to talk now. “What were you worrying about?” His questions are asked with deep concern and I feel them in my heart.

  “I was worrying about you having a good day yesterday. Everything felt so good and I know you’re still going to have bad days.” I don’t know what else to say because I don’t want to bog us down with negativity. “Why do you think yesterday was such a good day?” I now ask, changing the subject suddenly. Trying to divert things away from my fears.

  “What can I do to ease some of your worries?” he asks me instead, dodging my question in return.

  “Nothing. My worries will go away as we work through all of this.” I look at him, resting my hand on his cheek and he leans into it. As much as I don’t want to ask him again, I know he’s avoiding my question. I take in a deep breath and force myself to ask again. “What made yesterday a good day? Let’s focus on that and see if we can pull from it and add it to a list of things we can do that make you feel good.”

  He chuckles a little, a puff of air blowing into my hair. “How are you like this? How are you so selfless?”

  “I’m not. This affects me too. I want you to be happy and making you happy, makes me happy.” I kiss him, a smile on my lips and he returns the kiss and the smile. “So what was good?”

  “What was good?” he repeats, taking in a deep breath, his shoulders rising with it and he lets it out with gust. “Honestly, Ruby, everything.”

  “I love that answer, but if we’re going to replicate these things, you gotta be more specific,” I tease, tossing a soft elbow into his side.

  “I was hoping that would bide me some time,” he jokes back, even though he knew I wasn’t going to let it die there. “Being with you, Sie and Reid. I like the idea of having dinner together at least once a week. Getting to cook. It distracts me and while it’s happening, it consumes my thoughts. I can’t cook and think about the other bullshit that clogs my head.”

  “That’s a good start,” I tell him. “We can work on that for sure.”

  “Even though it didn’t happen yesterday, I love running with you. That’s another thing that diverts my focus.”

  I don’t say anything, taking a mental note of the few things he shared, trying to see if I have any suggestions. I pull out my phone and create a note, jotting down what he said. I now turn the phone to face him, giving him a wink as he reads it over.

  “Can you add sex with Ruby to that list?” he asks, a sly grin on his face as he slips his hand under my t-shirt and grabs my boob.

  “That’s a given,” I say, letting my hand glide over the bulge in his shorts. He starts to suck at my neck, distracting me from helping him. “Hey, hey.” I shift away, sliding so I’m now sitting next to him. “Have you given any thought to doing some cooking at the bar? Maybe create some new menu items? You added the brisket tacos and they are literally the best thing on the menu. You haven’t added anything new since.”

  “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. It’s a lot of planning and prep. It’s not just creating a recipe. I have to make sure it’s cost effective and the product can be used for other things too.”

  “Well, then do it,” I assert, not giving him the easy out. “You have time. You’re off till after New Year’s and I’d love to help you. I can be your sexy sous chef.” I bat my eyelashes, flirting mercilessly and all it does is make Caleb laugh out loud.

  I love his laugh. It�
��s perfect and natural and there’s something about it that makes my heart flutter, drumming out a quick rhythm. It makes him sound so carefree and it comes out of him so effortlessly at times. His blue eyes are shining, his hair still messy from sleep and I love everything about it.

  “I’d love to have you as my sexy sous chef, but something tells me you’ll end up being more like my sexy taste tester,” Caleb teases, pinching my side and smirking at me.

  “You’re probably right,” I agree with a shrug of my shoulders. “Maybe we can rope Sie and Reid into helping out too? That might be fun.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure they’d like that too.”

  He’s agreeable to a lot today and it’s a nice feeling. I bask in it, enjoying the calm, but in the background lies the therapist visit. His appointment is today, yet he’s acting like it isn’t. I don’t know if he’s waiting for me to ask about it or if he just plans to go as if it’s no big deal.

  A silence falls over us, our voices still, but the sounds of birds and the occasional passing car dot the quiet.

  Should I just ask him?

  Am I being too nosy?

  I chew at my lip, biting a few loose pieces of skin and trying to decide if I should just come right out and say it.

  “So,” I start, cutting into the quiet awkwardly and then I stupidly laugh. I couldn’t be more obvious in the fact that I’m trying to ask him something uncomfortable.

  “You’re pretty easy to read, babe,” Caleb now says, his eyebrows going up as he clicks his tongue. “What is it you want to ask me?”

  “Are you going to see the therapist today?” I ask, my words quieter than I planned, almost so soft that I hope he misses them.

  I hate to interrupt this low stress vibe we’ve had going on since we started talking about the things that made his day great yesterday. But in the end, doing things that make him happy isn’t going to suddenly fix everything. It’s wonderful for him to have positive things to look forward to, but delving into the real root of the problem is where we need to be. All of this is just a sidebar to what needs to happen.