Wronged (Book 1)
Page 52
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Louis stood outside, leaning against an oak tree older than the states. He had been home for nearly a week and his father acted like he was home to stay. But Louis was still undecided as to what he wanted to do.
And he missed Marian fiercely.
He’d thought about her every day, he’d dreamed of her at night and through it all he had come face-to-face with the fact that he had behaved in a despicable manner. No wonder she hated him and probably never wanted to have anything to do with him again. He wanted her back but didn’t feel like he could even ask for her forgiveness. He wasn’t worthy of exoneration after the way he’d lied to her.
The evening shadows waned, the sun casting its last rays across the tall green stalks of cane. He liked coming outside at this time of day and enjoying the sunset, and the cool breezes off the river. He liked getting away from the family for just a little while to let his mind wander in different directions, seeking the solution that would be his future.
“Bet you don’t get sunsets like this in New Orleans,” his father said coming up behind him.
Louis continued to lean against the oak tree, refusing to give up the last rays of daylight.
“No, we don’t, Papa. That’s one thing the city doesn’t offer.”
His father took a drag on his cigar and exhaled into the fresh air. “Your mother won’t let me smoke these things in the house, so I have to come outside if I want to enjoy my cigar.”
“I think I can understand why,” Louis said, thinking the odor was not particularly pleasant.
“So what are you doing home?” his father asked. “If you don’t want to be here, why are you?”
“Because I have no place else in the world to be right now,” Louis said, his tone angry.
“Are you moving home to work on the plantation?” his father asked.
Louis shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m here for an undetermined time. Until I decide what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.”
His father drew on the cigar and blew the smoke out in the fresh air. “There’s an easy solution to that question. Stay here and work at Belle Fournet. We need you,” his father said eagerly.
Louis turned to face his father, the frustration of his adult years spilling out. “Why? Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to work on the plantation?”
His father raised his voice to match his son’s. “Because this is your home. This is your family and your place is here. There’s plenty for everyone to keep busy.”
Louis didn’t know why he kept trying to make his father understand. Grown men did not appreciate being treated as if they knew nothing about what they were doing and were still the little boy they ran out of the barns.
“Edmond was the one that you wanted to run the business. He’s the oldest and I moved on to find my own place in the world.”
“Then why aren’t you happy? You seem miserable since you’ve been home this time. Your mother is worried about you,” his father said quietly in the darkness.
Louis shrugged and watched a shooting star fall from the sky. He remembered how when he was a boy he always made a wish when he saw a star fall. Now he wondered if any of them had ever come true. With a skeptic’s mind, he made a quick wish.
“I’ve done something really foolish. The reason I came home was to reacquaint myself with the man I used to be,” Louis said, not looking at his father.
“Sometimes a man makes a mistake and has to live with the consequences of his actions. Even when he doesn’t like them,” his father said and drew on his cigar.
“I tried to sell Cuvier Shipping without Marian’s knowledge,” he blurted out feeling like he was twelve instead of over thirty. He paused to let his father absorb the information. “I wanted so desperately to build a mill and work with you and Edmond milling the sugar crops that I lied.”
His father didn’t say anything.
“I made decisions that were selfish and didn’t concern myself with how they affected others. If I hadn’t been so intent on owning my own mill business and more interested in leading the company I co-own, then the woman I love would have become my wife, instead of walking away from me and the business we own,” he said staring off into the darkness at the red-glow from the tip of his father’s cigar. “I can only blame myself and my selfish need to be in control.”
A cricket sang his song of loneliness in the night air, as Louis seemed to sag even further against the tree.
His father looked at him and took a puff of his cigar. “Are we ever really in control of our destiny? Even at my age, I can plan for tomorrow, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.” He paused. “The Mississippi may flood. Too much rain could ruin the crops or the price of sugar could plummet tomorrow, but your mother’s love and companionship is what keeps me steady on my course. Pleasing her because of her steadfast love of me is what’s built this plantation.”
His father dropped the stub of his cigar to the ground and rubbed it out with the toe of his boot. “When I was a young man, I gave up my dream of going West not long after we met, because I couldn’t leave your mother. I haven’t regretted that sacrifice for one moment. Together we can face whatever life offers us and I dread the day that one of us leaves this world before the other one.”
The sentimental words from his father shocked Louis and made him see his father in a new light. The old man could be gruff at times, but he loved his wife deeply and Louis felt a new sense of respect.
His father spoke again in the darkness. “It’s been my dream that both of my children find a love as strong as ours. That your families be built on unbreakable bonds. That’s why I continuously ask about the women you’re seeing. I keep hoping you’ve found that special someone to grow old with.”
“You know Papa, for so many years now I’ve dreamed of owning properties and businesses not understanding that I hadn’t realized what really mattered in life. I’m ashamed of my actions and I’m embarrassed at the man I’ve become.”
“You’re my son. I’ve always been proud of you. I trust you’ll do better,” his father acknowledged. “So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to become the type of man that deserves Marian. I’m going to put her needs before my own.” With startling clarity Louis saw the pathway to his own future and he knew what he had to do. Suddenly he understood what must be done for Marian, for his own sense of pride. There was no guarantee she would give him yet another chance, but for his own self worth he had to show her he was sincere.
The two men stood there in the darkness, Louis clapped his father on the back and hugged him. “Thanks, Papa, you’ve given me something to think about.”
Louis released his father and walked back to his room. Night had fallen and in the inky blackness he could barely discern the pathway, just like he could hardly see the road his future lay on. But the insight he’d received while watching the sunset was enough to give him a start. And while the moonlight might not light his way, he knew that the dawn would bring a new day and a new man. A man that would find his own way. A man determined to give up his selfish ways and be the man Marian deserved.
When he got back to his room, he sat down and wrote a letter to Drew, his attorney, giving him the necessary instructions. Then he wrote to Marian pouring out his heart and soul, praying that his words would show her just how sorry he was for his actions, knowing he had little chance of forgiveness.